An Unlikely Debutante

by Laura Martin

  Lina nodded.

  ‘Imagine we’ve just been for a stroll in the park, it’s a warm day and we’ve returned here for refreshments and to rest after the exertion in the sunshine.’

  ‘Where is here?’

  ‘Shush. Be patient and let me paint you the picture.’

  Lina truly didn’t know where they were. Alex had kept her occupied in the carriage ride over here, telling her a little about the guests he knew would be attending the Wilcox ball, and when they briefly stepped out on to the smart street she hadn’t recognised it, although that didn’t mean much after just a few days in London.

  ‘We have the whole afternoon ahead of us, the whole evening, the whole night to enjoy nothing but one another.’

  Lina’s eyes shot open as Alex bent towards her and kissed her on the tip of her nose.

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Rooms I have just acquired,’ Alex said, as if that were enough of an explanation.

  They were standing in a large, sun-filled room, replete with splendid furniture and even a grand piano at one end.

  ‘Follow me,’ Alex said, taking Lina by the hand and pulling her through the doors into the hallway. Excitedly he flung doors open, announcing the purpose of each room, only stopping when he reached the bedroom.

  Lina stepped inside. It was beautiful. A large, four-poster bed filled the centre of the room, but there was plenty of space for two armchairs and an ornate dressing table. Two good-sized windows let the afternoon sun in, which gave the room a warm glow. The view was of the street and beyond that a small park where children were happily playing.

  ‘It’s lovely, Alex,’ Lina said sadly.

  He cupped her chin, gently tilting her head so she had to look up into his eyes.

  ‘It’s for us. Just for us.’

  ‘I know.’

  The purpose of the rooms was clear. It was somewhere they could be together, somewhere they could fulfil the roles of aristocrat and mistress without society minding. The idea Lina might live in Alex’s main residence as his mistress was preposterous—she had to be hidden away somewhere secret and private.

  ‘How long have you rented them for?’ she asked, her voice flat.

  ‘Six months initially, but there is the option to extend.’

  Six months. She supposed it was as good a length of time as any.

  ‘You don’t like it?’ Alex said, watching her face carefully.

  ‘There is absolutely nothing wrong with the rooms, Alex,’ Lina said, unsure whether she felt more hurt or angry.

  ‘Just imagine us spending lazy Sunday mornings in bed here. It would be sublime.’

  ‘Have you used it before?’ Lina asked.

  ‘Used it before?’ He looked confused.

  ‘For any of your other mistresses?’

  ‘No. I found it especially for us.’

  She turned to the window, not wanting Alex to see the tears in her eyes.

  ‘I’m not going to be your mistress, Alex,’ she said, then dashed from the room and towards the stairs.

  He caught her before she was halfway there.

  ‘I thought if you could see what our lives would be like—’ he started to say.

  ‘I can. It’s crystal clear, thank you very much. I would be shut away as your dirty little secret. My whole life would be waiting for you to call, wondering if you’d grown tired of me yet.’

  Alex sighed and ran a hand through his hair. ‘It wouldn’t be like that, Lina.’ He paused. ‘I care for you.’

  Her heart slammed against her ribs as he said the words. They weren’t words of love, but still more than he’d admitted up until now.

  ‘I can’t bear the thought of you walking out of my life in a few days.’

  ‘I can’t bear it, either,’ Lina said softly.

  ‘This is the only way we can be together.’

  She shook her head, trying to stop the next words that were already tumbling out of her mouth. ‘I love you, Alex. I love you so much my heart sometimes feels like it is going to burst, but I will never be any man’s mistress, not even yours.’

  He stiffened as if the declaration she’d just made was a physical blow. Lina knew she should just stop now, should back away and nurse her shattered dreams in private, but instead she heard herself carrying on, pushing Alex just that little bit further.

  ‘I love you, Alex,’ she repeated quietly. ‘I’ve been torturing myself these last few weeks. I need to know how you feel about me.’

  Lina saw the panic in his eyes, the quickening of his breathing and the slight tremor of his hands.

  ‘Tell me you don’t love me,’ she said, looking directly into his eyes.

  Slowly he shook his head, but seemed unable to speak. Lina felt a flare of hope and stepped towards him, reaching out and taking his hand in hers.

  ‘Do you love me, Alex?’ she asked again.

  The silence stretched out before them like a gaping chasm and Lina felt her hopes and dreams come tumbling down around her shoulders. He couldn’t admit he loved her and couldn’t come out and tell her he didn’t.

  With tears running down her cheeks Lina fled, slipping down the stairs and out of the door, darting through the streets in the late-afternoon sunshine, using every ounce of energy to keep moving, knowing if she stopped she would likely completely fall to pieces.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Alex paced backwards and forward at the bottom of the stairs, every few seconds checking the time on the huge grandfather clock that stood proudly near the front door. It felt as though time was passing excruciatingly slowly, every second stretching out for what felt like an hour. He was nervous, more nervous than he ought to be—and it certainly wasn’t nerves over this wager between himself and his sister.

  Sometime earlier that afternoon Alex had realised he didn’t care in the least if he won or lost the wager tonight. Something much more important was at stake.

  Lina loved him. She’d come out and declared the words two days ago, before challenging him to tell her how he felt about her. Alex had been unable to speak, unable to form a single word, still reeling from her declaration. He cared for her, she knew that. It was obvious in everything he did, everything he said, but love was so much more than that. He couldn’t deny Lina lit up his world, made each and every day more enjoyable, more worthwhile. He felt bereft without her, but he’d tried being in love before and it had only earned him years of heartbreak. Not that he could try to explain any of this to Lina. She had been working hard to avoid him ever since that disastrous afternoon.

  With hindsight it had been a mistake to rent the rooms just off Grosvenor Square. The hurt in Lina’s eyes was something he would never forget. He’d felt that pain, felt her unhappiness translate directly into his own unhappiness.

  A swish of skirts at the top of the stairs set Alex’s heart pounding, but he recognised his sister’s slow, elegant gait and returned to his pacing.

  ‘She’ll be down in just a minute,’ Georgina said, stopping before Alex and giving him a searching look. ‘You won’t do anything stupid tonight, will you, Alex?’

  ‘Like what?’

  Georgina grimaced. ‘Anything you might regret.’

  ‘I promise not to do anything I might regret.’

  ‘Remember, focus on winning our wager this evening, then tomorrow you can sort the rest of your life out.’

  He wondered if it might be too late tomorrow, but didn’t say anything to Georgina. Even if he’d wanted to confide his plans in his sister he couldn’t; as of yet he didn’t have the slightest idea what he might do. All he knew was that he couldn’t allow Lina to walk from his life after the ball.

  ‘I know you care for her, Alex,’ Georgina said, giving him a weak smile. ‘But you and Lina are from different worlds. She doesn’t belong in ours, even with all the coaching. Ask yourself if you are willing to give up all of your friends, your lifestyle, for the rest of your life for her.’

  Alex knew she was just trying to look out for
him. Despite being his younger sister she had always wanted to protect him from everything, including himself.

  Gently he kissed her on the forehead. ‘Thank you, Georgina,’ he said.

  For a moment she buried her head in his shoulder, before whispering, ‘I just want you to be happy, Alex.’

  ‘I know. Trust me?’

  She looked up, scrutinised his expression, then after a long few moments nodded her head. Without another word, she walked away, exiting Alex’s town house to join her husband in the waiting carriage to take them to the ball.

  Before Alex had time to digest his sister’s words there was another rustle of material at the top of the stairs. He saw Lina hesitate and then rally, descending the stairs in a faint cloud of sweet-smelling perfume.

  This past week he’d been kept strictly out of the dressmaker’s, not allowed even a single peep at the dress Lina would be wearing tonight—and now he could appreciate why. It was magnificent. Or more accurately, it made Lina look magnificent. Emerald green in colour, it was cut to show off her curves without doing anything to offend the matrons in the ballroom. The silky material hinted at the body it hid underneath, making Alex want to run his hands all the way from her shoulders down past the swell of her breasts and the line of her waist.

  Lina’s hair was pinned on top of her head, the decorative silver comb he’d bought to replace the one she’d been forced to give up to her uncle holding some of the strands in place. Her face was fresh, just a hint of colour on her cheeks, and her lips, a luscious and natural red.

  Alex was speechless and she’d reached the bottom of the stairs before he recovered. Without thinking he stepped forward and took her in his arms, only coming to his senses when he felt her stiffen under his touch.

  ‘You look beautiful.’

  ‘I hope I look the part of a debutante,’ Lina said tightly. ‘I wouldn’t want you to lose the wager, not now I know how much you despise the idea of love and marriage.’

  He wanted to kiss away the frown line between her eyebrows, kiss away the tension in her jaw and make her lips stretch into the smile he loved so much. Instead he offered her his arm.

  ‘I think you’ll be the most beautiful debutante in attendance.’ It wasn’t said to flatter or win favour, it was a simple statement of fact.

  Lina glanced up at him, but he couldn’t read anything in her eyes. She’d had two days to prepare herself for this moment, two days to shutter her eyes and suppress any hurt or emotion.

  Part of him wanted to gather her in his arms, to whisper in her ear that everything would work out perfectly, but he couldn’t give her those assurances. Right now he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what he wanted, other than knowing he couldn’t bear to let Lina leave at the end of the evening. Two days he’d mulled over his options and still he was no closer to knowing how their time together would end.

  In silence, they left the town house and Alex helped Lina up into the carriage. With her dress spread around her there was no room for him on the seat next to her, so instead he had to settle for sitting directly opposite. Lina smoothed out the material of her skirts for the third time just as the carriage pulled away, and Alex realised she was nervous—but whether it was about the impending test of her social manners or about spending the time in his company, he could not tell.

  * * *

  It took much longer than Lina expected to travel to the Wilcox ball, given the journey would have only taken twenty minutes by foot, but as they edged closer to the front of the queue of carriages she was thankful for the delay. From what she could see out of the carriage window, the ball was to be a grand affair. Coloured lanterns lit the way to the entrance where liveried footmen stood to attention, welcoming guests into the house and providing liquid refreshments. Through the windows Lina caught sight of a large number of people standing in groups, talking and laughing merrily. Somewhere would be room set aside for dancing and nearby at least a quartet of musicians. All this, Lina had learnt by questioning Alex and his sister about what would happen tonight, but now she saw it with her own eyes it seemed so much grander than they had described.

  ‘Are you nervous?’ Alex asked. He was lounging back in his seat, but Lina could tell he was on edge by the way he hadn’t teased her throughout the whole carriage ride. The declaration of love that had tumbled from her lips a couple of days ago was no doubt the cause of this change in character.

  ‘I don’t want to let you down,’ Lina said.

  It was the truth. Ever since their afternoon at the rooms in Grosvenor Square, Lina had been wondering whether it would be best for her to just leave, to walk out on Alex and the wager, but she had realised that it was important for her to see this through. She had given her word to Alex that she would do this, and after all the time and effort that had gone into preparing for this evening she wasn’t going to walk away just before the final hurdle. Deep down Lina knew she also couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Alex, even a day early. Every minute was precious, despite what had occurred between them. He might not have been able to admit his feelings for her, but that didn’t lessen how she felt for him.

  ‘Whatever happens tonight I want you to know how grateful I am to you. You’ve worked so hard to help me. Thank you.’

  Grateful. That was his overriding emotion towards her. Not love, not even desire any more, but he was grateful.

  Resolutely fixing her eyes on a coloured lantern on the Wilcoxes’ railings, Lina tried her hardest not to show any emotion. Part of her wanted to grasp Alex by the shoulders and shake him, scream and shout and beg him to recognise what they had between them, but she knew it was in vain. Either he felt the connection, too, or he didn’t. She couldn’t force it.

  Before she was ready, their carriage had pulled to a halt and a footman was opening the door. Alex helped her down, escorting her up the steps towards the door, whilst Lina felt every sense being overwhelmed. The coloured lanterns were complemented by streams of ribbons fluttering in the breeze, all in vibrant blues and reds and yellows. The soft sound of a string quartet floated out through the open doors, an enticing piece of music pulling Lina inside. Infused in the air was the scent of orange blossom, faint but sweet enough to make Lina want to bite into a succulent segment of the exotic fruit.

  They hadn’t even reached the front door and already it was the grandest party Lina had ever been to. The country dance paled in comparison and suddenly Lina felt awkward and out of place.

  They passed the line of footmen and stepped over the threshold, the air inside the house already marginally warmer and stickier than that outside.

  ‘Lord Whitemore, we’re so glad you could make it.’ An immaculately presented woman in her mid-forties beamed as they approached.

  ‘I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Mrs Wilcox, Mr Wilcox. May I introduce Miss Lock.’

  Lina and the Wilcoxes greeted each other formally and they were just about to move on when Mrs Wilcox thrust a young, slender woman in their path.

  ‘And this is our daughter, Miss Anne Wilcox.’

  The young woman looked decidedly uncomfortable, but bobbed a formal curtsy all the same. Lina supposed she’d been paraded out in front of all the guests so far, and the young Miss Wilcox didn’t look too happy about it. As they made their greetings, with Alex dutifully asking their hostess’s daughter for a dance later that evening, Lina saw the flare of triumph in Mrs Wilcox’s eyes as she secured a dance with a marquess for her daughter.

  ‘The ball is in honour of Miss Wilcox’s debut,’ Alex murmured as they made their way into the already-crowded ballroom. ‘She’s making her bow into society tonight.’

  ‘She doesn’t look too pleased about it,’ Lina observed drily.

  ‘Her parents are ambitious. I think they hope she will ensnare a man with a title.’ Alex paused, dropping his voice even lower before continuing, ‘They are extraordinarily wealthy with no sons, making Miss Wilcox a very eligible heiress. Of course, in return for all that money, they wish for their
new son-in-law to bring a title to the table.’

  ‘How romantic.’

  Alex shrugged, as if to say this was just the way of the world he lived in.

  The ballroom was even more beautifully decorated than Lina could have ever imagined. Hundreds of candles burned around the peripheries, adding to the light from three glittering chandeliers suspended from the ceiling. The mirrored walls glittered and shone, making the crowded room seem more spacious and allowing the immaculately presented debutantes to examine their appearances every few minutes.

  There was a jolly atmosphere in the room, much more so than Lina had anticipated, and she realised that most of these people must know each other in some way or another.

  ‘Whitemore! Where have you been hiding yourself away?’ A young man with an expressive face came and clapped Alex on the back.

  ‘Sir Thomas Wainwood, Miss Lina Lock,’ Alex introduced them, leaning in to add to Lina, ‘Wainwood is a complete scoundrel. Keep well away.’

  ‘You wound me, Whitemore.’

  ‘It’s the truth, no matter how hard he protests.’

  ‘You forget I was witness to all your exploits at university, Whitemore.’ Turning to Lina, he gave a friendly wink. ‘Perhaps you would like to hear all about it, Miss Lock, if you’d be kind enough to grant me a dance.’

  ‘I would be delighted to.’ Lina handed him her dance card and he scribbled his name on one of the lines. Already it was filling up, what with Alex’s two dances pencilled in, and two more with Pentworthy. One half of the wager was almost won. All she had to do was conduct herself with decorum for the evening and Alex would have triumphed over his sister and her husband.

  They moved on, strolling around the ballroom, having to weave through the crowds now even more guests were arriving. Their progress did not go unmonitored and Lina saw multiple pairs of eyes following them as they walked.

  ‘People are talking about us,’ she murmured, glancing at two middle-aged women who were whispering behind raised hands. It was hardly discreet.

  Alex shrugged once again. He was much more comfortable with their scrutiny than she was, much more accustomed to it. ‘They are curious as to who you are and why Georgina and I have sponsored you.’