Filthy Royal

by Roxeanne Rolling

  “Wow,” I say. “I can’t tell if you’re putting me on or not.”

  He shakes his head. “It’s the truth.”

  “How many times did you do it?”

  “Oh, not too many. I’d say more than five but less than ten, just enough to get me through without working. I actually lived in a cheap beater apartment for a year with a roommate. We constantly trashed the place, throwing crazy parties. I didn’t need much money. This was when I was about 22. After I got the royal money, I really started to go a lot more wild with it.”

  “We say beater car, but not beater apartment,” I say, smiling at him.

  “What do you call a bad apartment?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “It’s not like there’s an official term or anything. But you could say ‘shithole apartment.’ That sounds very American.”

  “Shithole apartment,” he says, practicing the phrase, looking incredibly cute as he does it. So cute that I have to lean in and kiss him on the mouth.

  He kisses me back, and soon we’re making out again.

  19.

  Luke

  “I really care about you, Rebecca,” I say, caressing her naked thigh. Her dress is finally off, and she looks so beautiful lying here naked.

  Our belies are full from the royal lunch, and I feel like our hearts are filling up too. This isn’t something I’ve ever felt before. I wonder briefly whether I love her? Well, shit, that’s not anything I’ve had to deal with before. I better push it to the back of my mind.

  My phone rings.

  “What’s up?” I say, in French, not even bothering to check the caller ID.

  “Who is it?” says Rebecca, biting my neck slightly.

  For once in my life, my cock feels completely drained. It felt like absolutely everything came out of me. Rebecca has a way of doing that to me. Of course, the condom with the royal seed is already tied up and back in my pocket. I have a whole technique for making sure she never sees me do it. I imagine it’d look quite strange to her.

  “Is this Luke? It’s Sebastian.”

  “Dude,” what’s up, I say in English.

  “Didn’t know it was you for a second. Never heard you speak Liserian before.”

  “It’s French,” I say. “Basically the same thing.”

  “It’s Sebastian,” I whisper to Rebecca, putting my hand over the mouthpiece for a second.

  She makes a face and flops back on the bed, blowing air out of her lungs. I can tell she doesn’t like having our tender moment interrupted, and to tell the truth I don’t either. I’d much rather spend more time with Rebecca, and maybe going on a day trip into the woods with her, or maybe do that camping trip she was talking about. But I owe it to Sebastian. After all, I really left him in a bind back in Texas. I wonder briefly how the hell he ended up in Europe, but don’t think much of it. He’s a guy of means, and has a way of sort of lightly scamming people to get what he wants. I’m sure he just met some chick who hooked him up with a sweet trip that he couldn’t pass up on.

  “Where you at, man?” I say into the phone.

  “I’m on the fucking Liserian border, dude!”

  “No shit? That was fucking fast.”

  “You know how it is. Listen, man, I need some help getting across the border.”

  “What’s the issue?”

  “I dunno, man, but they’re giving me a hard time. You think you could put in a good word for me or something?”

  “Hmm,” I say, briefly weighing my options. “I don’t know if I have much political pull right now. I mean normally I could just send a letter, but my dad’s pretty much cut me out of everything. The only one on my side right now is Eugene, and it’d be pretty hard… Well, here what I’ll do it just show up and escort you across the border myself. That way there’s not going to be any trouble.”

  “Shit, that’d be awesome man. We’re going to tear shit fucking up in Liseria dude. I hope you know all the best spots.”

  “No doubt,” I say, but inside I’m thinking that I really don’t want to be headed to all the titty bars in Liseria with Sebastian. I want to be with Rebecca, and I don’t think she’s going to like the places that Sebastian wants to go to. Maybe I can find some bar that’s sort of in the middle between super sleazy Sebastian-style and more upscale for Rebecca.

  Sebastian tells me he’s right outside of Le Blanc, one of our many border towns, and I tell him I’ll be there in about two hours. Liseria isn’t too big, and we’re sandwiched between a shitload of other countries.

  “So you’re going?” says Rebecca, looking up at me, looking impossibly beautiful.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “But I really owe it to him. I really would rather go camping with you or something.”

  “It’s OK,” she says, slowly, as if she’s changing her mind right here and now, or maybe choosing her words very carefully. “I just want you to know you mean a lot to me, Luke, and I hope… Well, I hope that this is really going somewhere between us.”

  “Me too,” I say. “And it’s the truth. I’ve never felt this way towards anyone before.”

  She smiles at me. “Have fun with Sebastian,” she says. “Maybe we can go on a camping trip after he leaves.”

  “Don’t forget you’re coming with us,” I say. “You think I’m going to be able to tolerate a couple nights out in Liseria with Sebastian without you? If so, you’re crazy.”

  “But he’s your friend.”

  “I’m not taking no for an answer,” I say. “You’re coming with us.”

  “Good,” she says, kissing me.

  “So this was just a test?”

  “Something like that. I don’t know.”

  We’re kissing, and my hand instantly moves down onto one of her perfect breasts. My cock is hard again, and she squeezes it in an incredibly sexy way.

  “Fuck,” I say. “I really should get going. You want to come pick him up with me?”

  She shakes her head. “Not really, and anyway I can’t. Your mom promised to show me something in the royal library, something I might be interested in.”

  “Huh,” I say. “I wonder what the hell that could be.”

  She shrugs. “Dunno, but I don’t have a lot of opportunities to examine ancient Liserian artifacts or anything, so I took her up on it.”

  “You also don’t have many opportunities to get fucked by a real prince,” I say, smirking at her.

  “Well actually I do. And hopefully I have many more in the future.”

  “I hope so, too,” I say, slapping her ass as I get up. She’s now lying on her stomach, with her knees bent at a 90 degree angle. Her butt looks so fucking cute and sexy, I just want to jam my cock right inside her perfect little American pussy right here and now. But I’ve got to get going—fuck me.

  I head out to the palace garage, a modern building outside of the West Gate. I take one of the sports cars from the late 1990s—it’s always been one of my favorites, a deep cherry red and only two seats.

  I put the top down before revving the thing and burning rubber on my way out of the garage. I give a little mock salute to the guards who are standing by. They can’t do anything but salute me. I’m the fucking prince, after all.

  This might be fun, hanging out with Sebastian, but, fuck, I just want to be with Rebecca. Hopefully she’ll at least come hang out with the two of us, although Sebastian isn’t exactly the most girlfriend-friendly friend. I’ve just got my fingers crossed that he doesn’t try to get into her pants—I don’t want to have to punch him the fuck out again.

  The wind’s blowing through my hair and I catch my image in the mirror—ugh, I’ve been looking more and more like a Liserian prince ever since getting back here. Gone are all my American clothes, the cheesy camo, the ridiculous sunglasses. I liked looking like a regular guy, but all I have here in the palace is expensive tailored clothing.

  It’s not like the police can do much to me, so I speed all the way there, and make the dri
ve in only forty-five minutes.

  “I’m here to see a friend on the other side,” I say to the guard, who instantly recognizes me, and gives me a salute. “Calm down,” I say.

  “Sebastian!” I say, finding him in the waiting room to cross over the border through the immigration line. “What’s shaking, man?”

  Sebastian looks a little nervous, but I suppose that understandable given the circumstances—I hope he wasn’t harassed too much by the Liserian boarder patrol while waiting for me.

  “Good to see you, man,” he says, and we do the American bro hug that Sebastian taught me.

  “Ready to get the fuck out of here?”

  “Can’t wait to see what the fuck is going on in Liseria, dude. I’m ready for the royal fucking treatment.”

  “Coming right up,” I say, grabbing his big duffel bag and hoisting it over my shoulder. “What the fuck you got in here with you, man? This thing is as heavy as a bag of bricks.”

  “Just odds and ends, mostly,” says Sebastian, evasively, looking around the room, as if he’s watching for something.

  Whatever, he can be kind of a weird guy. He’s probably just jet lagged or something.

  “He’s with me, guys,” I say to the guards in French.

  “Man I wish I could speak French like you do,” says Sebastian, as we leave the building without so much as a single security hiccup. That’s one of the perks of being the prince—you can cross the border without so much as a single pat down.

  I hoist the duffle bag into the trunk of the convertible.

  “Traveling in style. I like it, man,” says Sebastian. “So where we headed to first? Let’s get the party started?”

  “Well,” I say, thinking about Rebecca back in the castle. I want to get back to see her. “I figure you’re pretty tired and might want to get your stuff set up in your room or whatever.”

  “Come on, dude. I didn’t travel this far to go sit in my room. We’ve got to fucking rage! I read about this killer Russian bar that’s somewhere nearby your palace. It was in one of the tour books.”

  “There are tour books for Liseria?” It’s not like we get a ton of foreign travelers, and this is the first I’ve ever heard about a tour book.

  “Of course, dude. Why do you want to go back so much anyway? You got a chick back there in the castle or something that you just can’t wait to sink your dick into again?”

  “Well,” I say. “There’s an American girl visiting me.”

  “Someone from the RV? What the fuck? Those girls were trashy, man.”

  “No, someone else. I met her in Texas after you and I had our… Well, she’s visiting me here. But I think something’s really going to happen with her. I mean, I’m feeling different… It’s hard to explain, but I feel different towards her than any other girl I’ve ever met.”

  “Aw, come on man, that’s bullshit.”

  “What?” I’m trying to keep my cool. I don’t want to get into another fight with Sebastian. I don’t want to have to hand him his ass again, and another fight is the last thing I need for my public image. It would probably look especially bad if I got into a fight with one of my own guest, in my own country. There are journalists here in Liseria, too, and they hound me when the can, although it’s a little harder for them here because we only let them into the palace for certain events, or when there’s some kind of royal decree to me made or something.

  “Just don’t get tied down to one woman, man, that’s all I’m trying to say.”

  “I’ll make my own decisions about that,” I say.

  “Fair enough,” he says. “So we going to hit up this bar or what?”

  “Yeah,” I say. “I think I know the one you’re talking about. I used to sneak in there sometimes when I was a teenager. But it’s pretty grimy and there’s a bunch of like seriously hardcore guys who hang out in there. I’m not sure it’s the best place to really get our rage on if you know what I mean. I’m surprised it’s in the guidebook honestly. Maybe we should try to find a club or something. I can get us into some good ones.”

  “Naw, man. I want to see the real Liseria. The hardcore Liseria. The seedy Liseria.”

  “All right, all right,” I say. “I get it. Fine, we’ll go there. Get your seatbelt on.”

  “Why?”

  To answer, I downshift, and accelerate. The car picks up so rapidly in speed that Sebastian’s thrown back in his chair, and as I take the next corner on the narrow mountain road, he’s thrown against his door.

  I can’t help but laugh.

  “Asshole,” he says, laughing, finally strapping his seatbelt in.

  20.

  Rebecca

  “Oh, it’s so pretty,” I say, looking at what the Queen’s showing me, a piece of antique Liserian jewelry. She really seems to like me, and she’s taken me to the library, where apparently a lot of the historic jewelry is housed.

  “I thought you might like it,” says the Queen. “I hope it doesn’t appear too old fashioned.”

  “Oh, no,” I say. “In reality, it actually seems incredibly modern. It’s amazing but some of these old pieces really look like they could have been made this year—they’ve still retained all their freshness, if you will, and don’t look dated at all.”

  “Did you study art history at University?” says the Queen.

  I shake my head. “I did take a few classes, though. And I took some French art classes.”

  “How interesting,” says the queen. I can tell she’s genuinely interested in whether or not I like the pieces, but I also know this isn’t the only reason she invited me to the library.

  “I really like this one in particular,” I say, holding up a copper necklace. I know it’s not too expensive or fancy, but it’s beautifully crafted and I’ve never seen anything like it before.

  “Why don’t you try it on?” says the Queen.

  “Really?”

  She nods.

  I hesitate, but put it around my neck.

  “Oh, dear, it looks gorgeous on you,” she says. “Why don’t you keep it for yourself?”

  “Oh, I couldn’t!” I say, starting to protest wildly, taking off the necklace and putting it back in the case.

  “I insist,” says the Queen, taking the necklace herself and placing it around my neck. “It would mean so much to me if you had it.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” I say. It’s not everyday a regular girl is given a Liserian heirloom.

  “Lucas should have given you a gift like that,” says the Queen.

  “Oh…” I say. I have no idea what to say.

  “I can tell he really likes you, you know? He just doesn’t quite know how to act properly. He’s spent so much time with all those floozies. I’ve seen him with a lot of women—and those are the only ones he shows me, of course—but he’s never acted the way he acts towards you with anyone else. And that’s a fact. I hope there’s going to be e bright future for you two.”

  Wow, I really did charm the pants off the King and Queen during the lunch.

  “That’s so kind of you,” I say. “The only thing is… Well, no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t say anything.”

  “It’s OK,” says the Queen, taking my hand. “You can tell me anything, dear. I mean be old, and I mean seem like a stuffy old Queen, but I was once a young woman like yourself, and I’ve been through some things myself.”

  I can see it in her eyes. It’s true. This isn’t a trap or anything like that. She’s being genuine.

  “Well for one thing we’ve only known each other a very short while. I mean, I really have strong feelings for Luke, though. He’s like no one else I’ve ever met. And it really doesn’t have anything to do with him being a prince.”

  “I think that’s a good thing,” says the Queen. “You saw that horrible Belinda girl for instance. She cant’ even see Lucas because she’s so focused on his princely title and future position as king.”

  I nod, but don’t thi
nk it’s wise at the moment to heap further criticism onto Belinda. I really didn’t like her, either, though that’s probably just because she’s another woman who’s interested in Luke.

  “But,” says the Queen. “You may have only known each other a very short while, but you seem like you’re already quite attached to each other. Things are moving quite fast, I gather. And no, don’t tell me that’s something from these modern times, because let me tell you we moved just as fast back in my day.”

  I try to stifle a giggle, but it comes out, and to my surprise the Queen joins me with a little giggle of her own.

  “I imagine his reputation has you a little nervous?” says the Queen.

  I nod. “Yeah,” I say. “But also—well, I don’t really know how to say it. But sometimes he seems like he can be different people. He was the party animal in America. Here he’s more of the dapper charming prince. I’ve seen different sides of him.”

  “We all have different sides of us,” says the Queen, sounding very wise. I envy her Liserian accent, and I hate to think how harsh my own French sounds in comparison to her own. “That’s just part of what makes us humans. But, trust me, Lucas doesn’t normally play the dapper prince, as you say, here at the palace. Usually he’s just as rowdy and troublesome as it sounds like he was in America.”

  “Yeah?” I say. “That’s strange…”

  “It’s not strange, dear. It’s because of you. You’re really having a big effect on him and how he’s behaving.”