by C. A. Harms
“Do you think she’d clam up and hold him outward as if he was contagious, or run to the closest adult and pass him off like a baton?” He grew silent, but only for a moment before he continued. “You don’t think she’d drop him and then run, do you?”
I looked over at my brother, and his earlier humor now changed to one of concern.
I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Just to torment him, I played along.
“She would probably scream at you first to come back, then she would lay him on the ground and casually move along as if she hadn’t just held Luke.” Adam squinted as he looked down at his son, who was asleep in his arms. “Then you know what that means?”
I said nothing more, just waiting for him to catch on.
And the moment he did, I could almost see the panic in his eyes. “I’d get my ass kicked by Natalie for leaving my infant son laying in the grass, even though it was your girl who did it.”
“Yep,” I said, shifting my attention back toward Charlie.
“I better not do it then,” Adam added.
My thoughts exactly.
“Don’t go at her too much when it comes to babies and her fear of them,” I said as I watched her interact with Hanna and a few other little girls she had at her party. She actually looked comfortable as she helped each of them place princess crowns on their head.
“There’s more to Charlie than most of you know,” I told him without looking in his direction. “She’s not as tough as she seems, and even I don’t know yet the details behind it all.” I took in a deep breath. “I just know that no one should have to witness the things she has. Things that have a way of changing us.”
Adam remained quiet, both of us still leaning against the railing on the porch as we watched the party from a distance.
A big smile stretched across Charlie’s lips when Hanna offered her a tiara of her own. It was a sweet moment, and I wasn’t the only one to notice. Lexi stood only a few feet away watching it unfold.
“Let me get a picture of all the princesses together,” she said, and Charlie began to move out of the way. “Oh no, you wear the crown too, so that makes you a princess.” Lexi motioned for her to sit in the center of all the little girls in frilly dresses of pink, purple, and other bright shades.
The fact that Charlie looked so relaxed and comfortable while four different girls got in close to her, their arms wrapped around her neck, confirmed she didn’t dislike kids.
It was just the infant part that worried her. She said she had no instinct when it came to babies, but I think if the opportunity arose and she was forced to face it, she’d surprise herself.
“You really like her, don’t you?” I was pulled out of my own thoughts by my brother’s voice.
“Yeah.” I offered a nod. “She’s so different from any other girl I’ve dated.”
“Dated?” Adam said sarcastically.
“You know what I mean, jackass.” He of all people shouldn’t be judging. Prior to Natalie, Adam was no saint.
“Yeah, I do,” he replied, and I knew he did.
The party went on, and I joined Charlie when it was time to serve cake. I sat down next to her and placed my hand against the small of her back. “You should wear that tiara for me tonight,” I whispered against her ear, and she leaned in closer.
“Just the tiara,” I added, which only gained a smile from her in return.
“Maybe I will.” She pressed a sweet kiss to my lips, and my stomach tightened in response. It was a feeling I got every time she made a sweet gesture toward me. Every time she kissed me or, hell, even leaned into my touch.
“Sorry we’re late.” I jumped in reaction to my sister’s voice echoing throughout Kole’s backyard. “Traffic was insane, but there was no way we were missing a certain little lady’s party.”
Kate approached with a bag in each hand, and following close behind was my brother-in-law, also known as Lexi’s father, and my nephews, who also seemed to be carrying a gift each.
“You do know that one gift is standard for a kid’s party?” I asked, gaining the attention of my sister, which only made Charlie grow tense against me.
And that was the moment I regretted it.
Kate’s face lit up.
At Adam’s wedding, Charlie and I were still so undecided that she and my parents had missed the chance to meet. But since then, I had brought it to their attention during phone calls and such. Since then, Kate had been chomping at the bit to meet the girl who tamed me.
Her words, not mine.
“You must be Charlie,” she said, moving in our direction.
“She’s crazy but in a good way.” I leaned in close to Charlie and tried to reassure her there was no need to panic. “She’ll love you, and I promise you’ll love her too. Most loyal person I’ve ever met and honestly one of my best friends.”
It wasn’t a lie; Kate had always been that older sister who looked out for her two brothers. No girl got away with playing with our hearts, and she took our happiness very seriously.
“Did you lose a bet?” Kate asked as she stopped in front of Charlie and me.
I rolled my eyes, and Charlie just looked between Kate and me with a look of confusion.
“I’m just not sure what else would have convinced you to date this gorilla.” It was at that moment that Charlie realized Kate was giving me a hard time. My girl loved giving me a hard time, so when she joined in and they began discussing how she felt sorry for me and that I was like that annoying habit that you couldn’t break, I knew it was pointless for me to interject.
I quickly became the center of attention as everyone joined in with Brock memories and jokes.
I didn’t let it phase me; I was used to it.
The best part about the entire day was when Charlie looked up at me and placed both her palms against my chest. She rose up on her toes and kissed me softly. “At first you may have been that one guy I needed to stay away from, but that was just because I could see myself falling for you. And that terrified me.”
And that interaction took place while everyone was able to witness it. I ignored the shocked faces of those around us and concentrated on just what Charlie was saying.
If I wasn’t mistaken, in a roundabout way she had just admitted that her feelings for me were so much more than just like.
Chapter Nineteen
Charlotte
I couldn’t breathe.
Because it honestly felt like the air had just been knocked out of me. Something heavy was pressing down on my chest, my airway closing uncontrollably.
This couldn’t be happening.
I stared down at the paper I still held in my shaking hands, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.
Re: Wallace C. Reider
Inmate #274815
Dear Ms. Lawrence:
A parole hearing has been set for this offender on 5/12/16. As a victim or survivor in this case, you have the right to make a statement to the board if you choose to do so. However, you are not required to make a statement.
We can also provide you with information regarding this case, the offender’s status, and the final decision of the board if you would like that information provided.
The ISRB must make a determination in regards to this inmate being “rehabilitated and a fit subject for release” before he or she can be paroled to the community. If the board finds that the offender should not be paroled, more prison time can be added to the minimum sentence.
Victims and survivors have a right to make a statement to the board. Those statements may include:
*a description of the impact the crime has had;
*opinions and concerns regarding the offender’s release;
*any other information you feel has importance regarding this case.
The letter went on to explain what options I had if I chose to appear. It also told me where to go if I should have questions regarding the process.
But I could only concentrate on the basic information of the letter.<
br />
One of the men responsible for the deaths of my mother and sister was up for parole. My heart literally ached in my chest. My throat burned from the overwhelming amount of emotions running through me.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to react with extreme measures, demanding to know what the hell they were thinking.
How could they even consider allowing this monster to once again see the light of day?
He should rot in hell.
The longer I stood there staring at the words, the worse I became.
All those feelings from my past began to fill my mind, and I slowly could feel myself falling back to those dark times. All the memories I had once tucked away tight for fear of becoming crippled by them once again.
I sunk to the floor in the kitchen, both Romeo and Roxy curling up near me, knowing that something was very wrong.
My phone ringing in the distance should have snapped me out of my current haze, but it wasn’t penetrating this ache deep inside of me.
I almost felt like I was falling apart from the inside out.
It wasn’t until I heard the alarm beep, indicating it had just been deactivated, that my tunnel vision broke from the letter I still held.
“Honey, I’m home,” Brock hollered out playfully as he stepped through the front door.
The moment he saw me, a look of pure panic covered his masculine features, and he rushed toward me, lowering himself to the floor. He reached out and gripped my shoulders, squaring me to face him.
“Baby,” he said as he leaned in close, giving me no choice but to look directly in his eyes. “What’s going on?”
I couldn’t answer him; I was still too raw. So instead, I shook my head.
“Don’t tell me no.” Brock moved his legs out from underneath him and sat down even lower, moving in closer. “Don’t push me away. From the beginning we’ve never had a problem saying what’s on our mind. Whatever it is, please just tell me.”
I looked back down toward the letter, and in that moment, something I had let escape me suddenly registered.
Moving faster than both I and even Brock expected, I scrambled from the floor in search of my keys.
Romeo and Roxy sensed my anxiety, and both followed behind me as I moved round with purpose.
I could faintly register Brock hollering my name, but I didn’t stop as I rushed from my house, toward my car, keys in hand and two dogs following behind.
“Charlie,” Brock yelled once again.
I yanked open my car door, allowing both of my dogs to jump inside. Once they were safely inside, I looked back over my shoulder, and the look on Brock’s face was heartbreaking.
“I’ll call you later,” I told him, hoping that would be enough for him. But his worried expression did not diminish; it fact, it looked worse in some way.
“I need to go see my dad,” I told him. “But I promise I will call you and explain everything.”
I saw the hesitation in his nod, but I couldn’t let it stop me.
I needed to go see my father.
If I got this letter, that meant he also received one, and I couldn’t let him go through this alone. We needed to be together.
***
Romeo and Roxy moved like lightning through my dad’s house in search of him once I opened the door.
We found him sitting at his kitchen table with a half empty cup of coffee in front of him and a solemn look on his face.
Being the man he was, he tried to play it off immediately and cover his worry with a fake smile.
“Don’t,” I said as I sat down in the seat across from him. I had already recognized the letter from the prison that matched my own lying open on the table.
“Please don’t hide your feelings from me, Dad.” I knew he was trying to stay the strong one of the two of us, but I needed for him to open up. “For years you’ve stood strong, holding yourself together for me, and I love you so much for that. But you don’t need to deal with this alone. You need to get angry, and you need to feel. Because I need you to let go of all those feelings inside of you almost as much as you need to let go.”
Silence settled over us, and if it was anyone other than my dad, I might have been worried. But this was what he did. He took his time mulling things over, getting his thoughts in line.
Once he felt as if he was all put together on the inside and composed, he then let go.
“It does make me angry, Charlotte.”
Very rarely did my dad call me Charlotte, but in this situation, I didn’t find it surprising.
When I was younger, it was always when I was in trouble. As I grew older, it was something he used when he felt serious about something and wanted me to understand its importance.
This was definitely one of those times.
“None of the men who stole two of the three most important people in my life deserves to breathe the same air as I do,” he began, and I could see the pain in his eyes. “There was a time after the events of that day that I allowed myself to have visions of making them pay for their crimes in my own ways. I wanted them to suffer, and I wanted to witness each and every cry of the pain they felt.”
I swallowed hard, hearing this gentle man speak in this manner, but in no way could I ever judge him. I had felt some of those same things.
“But then I realized that doing something to that extreme made me no better than them.” He finally looked up at me. “And I had a girl who needed me.”
My heart warmed at his words.
“I had to stay strong for you, even if a part of me died the day I lost your mother and Corrine.” He reached out and placed his hands atop mine. “You kept me going, sweetheart.”
“So what do we do now?” I asked.
Even with my dad’s support, I still felt so lost. It was almost like this entire thing was a dream.
Or more like a nightmare.
“We’re gonna face one of the three men who brought such darkness to our lives.” He said it so matter-of-fact that it almost eased the fear I felt.
Almost.
“And we are gonna tell the review board just why Wallace Reider deserves to spend the rest of his life behind bars.”
I nodded, even though my heart was still racing so fast I felt like it would literally burst out of my chest.
Chapter Twenty
Brock
I’d tried for the last three hours to tame this worry inside me, but it only continued to grow.
I was so worried about Charlie and what could have possibly had her so freaked out and lost at the same time.
I tried the distraction of a ball game on television; hell, I even put up with Adam analyzing each and every move like a commentator, but nothing worked.
Not working out, not playing with Luke as he slobbered and wiggled around like a worm. Even Natalie tried to convince me that it was nothing and that I should just relax.
As if that was possible.
Nothing would relax me until I saw Charlie or at least heard from her.
I had just gotten out of the shower and was just about to crawl into bed when a light tapping on my door caught my attention.
Never did I believe it would be Charlie standing on the other side of my bedroom door, but the moment she came into view, I reached out and pulled her to me.
Just for a few minutes, I wanted to hold her close and accept that she was right here, with me, in one piece. Granted, on the inside, I had a feeling she was anything but whole, but for now I just needed to focus on holding her.
Just over her shoulder, I saw Adam sneak down the hall in the opposite direction and then understood he must have been the one to let her in. He offered a reassuring nod just before slipping into his bedroom and closing the door behind him.
“I’m sorry,” Charlie whispered into the crook of my neck.
“Don’t be sorry,” I said in return. “Just talk to me.”
It was truly all I wanted. Never had I ever wanted to be the one pers
on someone else relied on. But with Charlie, it was different. I wanted to be the person she came to when things got bad. I wanted to be the one who picked her up, dusted her off, and stood by her side when she realized she kicked us. Then I wanted to be in the front row when she did just that and faced her demons head on.
“Okay,” she said in return, and I felt my pulse pick up just a little at the thought of what was about to come.
I released my hold on her but just enough that I could turn around and guide her into my bedroom. I just wasn’t ready to let her go just yet.
She sat on the edge of my bed, me at her side facing her, when she finally looked up. I could tell she had been crying by the redness around her eyes.
“I guess I’ve never really told you about what happened to my mother and sister,” she began, and my stomach tightened. I was about to witness an emotional declaration from Charlie, and I wasn’t sure how my heart would handle her pain.
“I used to play volleyball in high school, and I was pretty good at it.” She smiled, but I could tell it was forced. “I called my mom to tell her that my friend Abigail was going to give me a ride home after practice and that she didn’t need to rush to get me.”
Charlie looked back down at her lap, and even though I wanted her looking at me, I could tell she needed this to get through the memories running around in her mind.
“I’d been home maybe twenty minutes when I heard the garage door raising. I knew it had to be my mother because my dad was out of town on business and wasn’t due back until the next day.” She took a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling a few times as I waited in silence. “Corrine and me had convinced my mom to order pizza and stay in to watch a marathon of reruns on the Lifetime channel. It was supposed to be a girl’s night with junk food and boxes of tissues.”
Another deep breath, only this time I heard a shudder as she released a long breath. Instinctively, I began rubbing my palm over her back in a soothing manner. Or at least I’d hoped she’d find it soothing.