When he touched Hailey, she giggled.
I didn’t make a sound until he kissed her shoulder. Last thing I wanted was a front row seat for a kitchen quickie. Not when I had just been over at Trev’s place. In the shower. His body against mine. His thrusts commanding me. His lips kissing me everywhere.
And I walked out.
Because something happened.
But this wasn’t just something. This was…
I watched the hunky jock nibble at Hailey’s shoulder and that’s when I started to cry. The second I made a noise, they both looked at me. I probably looked like hell. Standing there with my hair damp, tears rolling down my cheeks.
Hey! Look at me, Hailey! The fucked up roommate you’ve always wanted!
“Jesus, Sera,” Hailey said.
She ditched the jock like the good friend she was and rushed to me.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
I shook my head.
She glanced back at the jock. “Take that coffee into my room. And ditch the jeans. I’ll be there in a little bit. You can start without me.”
“Yeah, cool,” the jock said. “Uh, I hope everything is, like, okay here.”
I rolled my eyes.
Why did the pretty ones talk like high school girls?
Better yet, I didn’t understand why Hailey liked it. Maybe because it was totally mindless, meaning nobody could ever get hurt.
“Come on,” she said and guided me toward my room.
She sat me down on the bed and crouched before me. I could see right down the shirt and saw that she was naked underneath.
“I’m screwing up your day,” I whispered.
“Hardly,” Hailey said. “I’ve been wanting him for months now. We’ve already fooled around. Wasn’t that good. Hoping to get rid of him soon enough.”
“You just told him to take his pants off.”
“Yeah. I’ll give it another go and see. Why are you crying?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. Stupid stuff.”
“Your hair is wet. You smell like you just took a shower.”
I felt my cheeks burning red. “Yeah.”
“You were with the mystery man?”
“No. That didn’t work out.”
“Oh, so you’ve found yourself something new?”
“I fell in love with him,” I said.
“Who?”
“The something new. But he’s… we’re both messed up. Our lives are crazy. There are too many secrets.”
“Okay, okay,” Hailey said. She pulled me in for a hug. “I’m sorry.”
“No, Hailey, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For never letting you all the way in. You don’t know that much about me.” I broke away from her and stared into her beautiful eyes. “I want to tell you some stuff. I trust you.”
“I know I look like some party animal who likes to sleep around, but that’s not me,” Hailey said with a grin. “I know my limits and I know right from wrong. You can trust me with anything, Sera. I’ve never pressed at you because I respect you. But anything you need to tell me, I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“You’re a good friend. I want to tell you about my best friend. And about the mystery man. And about the guy I fell in love with. You might want to tell the jock to leave.”
“Screw that,” Hailey said. “Let him sit there and play with himself. Maybe if he plays with it enough he’ll learn how to actually use it.”
I laughed.
I choked back tears.
And I told Hailey everything.
* * *
I told Hailey almost everything.
The parts that were Trev’s secrets, I left as secrets.
She stared at me and nodded. “Max, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Sure,” I said.
“I’ve heard that rumor before.”
“What? Me? Him?”
“Him and other women,” Hailey said. “I’m sorry. Not to make you feel bad. And you shouldn’t feel bad.”
“If he’s engaged…”
“You didn’t know. Look, maybe that was you experimenting in life a little. We’re all different, Sera. The way we look at life and how we act. If you think for a second that I would call you a whore or something, you’re crazy. I mean, getting a professor is actually kind of wild. But I know now that the emotional side of it is taking control.”
I swallowed hard. “Aside from that, I don’t know what to do with the guy I fell in love with.”
“Well, here’s the thing… you feel like hell because of Max and that you think he’s engaged. If this other guy is playing the same game, fuck it. Fuck him. Fuck them both, Sera. You don’t need that. You deserve better.”
“But I’m in love.”
“In love enough to rip two other people apart? That’s dangerous.”
I bit my lip. It’s not that. At all. “It’s… not that simple. It’s more about the history than the present. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Well, you’re an adult. You do what you feel is right. Listen, I’m going to go and check on the jock as you keep calling him. I’m going to boot his fine ass out and then we’ll keep talking.”
“Hailey… no…”
She stood up and grabbed my hand. “That’s what best friends do.”
I smiled.
She left the room and I sat on the edge of the bed and finally had a chance to think alone. Nothing made sense to me. I couldn’t get involved with Trev. Not when he’d got someone else pregnant. It wasn’t a jealousy thing, even though it did make me jealous. It was a common sense thing. He would need to be there for her. Not to mention the fact that it was his dead stepbrother’s fiancée that he got pregnant. That was going to really raise hell for everyone. It actually hurt my chest thinking about it… for Trev. After all he’d been through. Getting blamed for Heath’s death. Now this.
I laughed, realizing I was putting Trev’s feelings before my own. I had fallen in love with him and now I was sitting alone in my room. I had lost everything. Even if I’d gained Hailey as a best friend I could trust, it didn’t do much for my heart.
My phone beeped with a text message.
I hoped it was Trev. I knew better though. I was the one that walked out of his apartment. That meant I would have to contact him.
The text message was from Max.
can we talk?
I bit my lip again and looked at the bedroom door. All I had to do was wait a few minutes for Hailey to come back.
But maybe… maybe I wasn’t done with Max just yet.
* * *
I walked two blocks like a dummy and saw Max’s fancy car parked in between two others along the street. I hesitated for a second, really questioning what I was doing. But I wasn’t going to back away. Believe me, I wasn’t going to get into that car and let anything happen. This was my turn now. My time. Nothing was going to stop me.
I opened the car door and sat down in the seat where I had seen that beautiful woman with the big diamond ring.
“Serafina,” Max said in that deep voice that once attracted me.
Now he looked old and pathetic. A man scrambling against time and against his own guilt and regret. Which he would have to live with for the rest of his life.
“Professor,” I said.
He raised an eyebrow. “Fine. We’re going to get right into this then. I know you saw me…”
“Yeah. You’d think you’d have a better hiding spot for your flings,” I said. “Then again, judging by the size of that diamond ring on her finger, that wasn’t exactly a fling, was it?”
Max pursed his lips tightly and swallowed hard. He slowly sighed. “We had an arrangement, Serafina. You and I. Together. There was nothing else outside of that arrangement that mattered. You crossed the line.”
“Actually, I didn’t cross anything,” I said. “I was walking. I saw what I saw.”
“And wha
t you saw was wrong.”
“Yeah? You’re engaged. And I was dumb enough to think it was okay. But the second I saw that, I was hurt. Not that you’d hurt me. But that I’d hurt myself. That I’d hurt someone else. Because eventually, all that catches up to you, Max.”
He chuckled. “Is this you threatening me?”
“Hardly,” I said. “I don’t have time for high school dramas. We’re both adults. We both knew what we wanted and we took it. That part is simple. I made that clear, didn’t I?”
“Well, look at this. A turn of events. Look at how grown up you sound.”
“You’re sick,” I said. “You’re a fucking pig too. I hope she finds out… after you’re married to her. So she gets half of everything. Or more. I hope she cleans you out. And you end up living like dirt somewhere, chasing college girls for the rest of your life.”
Max laughed again. “I’m not engaged, Serafina.”
“What?”
“I’m not engaged. I have no commitments to anyone.”
“But I saw you…”
“You did,” Max said. “I’m not engaged. She is.”
I gasped. “You’re…”
“Old high school flame,” he said. “She wanted to make sure it was real before she ties the knot.”
“And you’re the one to make sure of that, huh?”
“Believe it or not, I have a heart too. I have feelings.”
“I doubt that.”
“Look, we talked about crossing the line, Serafina, and maybe that’s what I’ve done…”
Max moved his right hand and touched my left hand. He tugged at my pinky and ring fingers, grinning as he did so.
What the fu…
“Serafina,” Max whispered. “There’s a way we can get through this.”
“We…”
I lost my words for a moment. I couldn’t believe for a second that he was serious right now. It was insane. Completely insane.
I curled my lip, ready to punch him.
But then I had the sudden feeling that we were being watched.
Chapter 34
Trev
“No way,” Becca said when she opened the door a few inches.
I put my hand to the door. “Way.”
“Go home, Trev.”
“No. Are you serious right now? You texted me…”
“I know what I did,” she said.
“What you did? Was that fake? Are you lying?”
“Fuck you.”
She pushed at the door, but I wasn’t letting her win this.
“Becca, what the hell is going on here?”
She looked at me, her eyes glossy. She backed away and let me inside. My eyes always did a quick scan of the apartment. Just to see if she had anything hanging around that suggested she was trying to hurt herself.
The first thing I noticed was a bottle of vodka on the coffee table.
I went to the bottle and grabbed it. “What the fuck is this?”
“Nothing,” she said.
I charged toward her. “Are you kidding me? What’s going on here?”
She snatched the bottle from my hand. “Mind your own business.”
“My business? You texted me that you’re pregnant.”
Becca started to cry. Instant tears.
She lowered her head and I stood there for a few seconds before hugging her. I reached down and forced the bottle of vodka out of her hand.
“Becca, tell me you’re not drinking.”
“I’m not drinking, Trev,” she whispered. “I promise.”
I put the bottle on the TV stand and broke the hug. “What the hell is going on?”
“Follow me,” she said.
Becca led the way to the bathroom and crouched, opening the cabinet. She took out a grocery shopping bag and handed it to me. I looked in the bag and saw boxes of pregnancy tests and the tests themselves. There had to be ten in the bag.
“They’re all positive,” she said.
I looked up from the bag and stared at her. My mind instantly began thinking about each time we were together. The first time. The last time. The times in between.
I knew that the worst thing I could do right then was question if this was my doing or not.
“We were safe,” I whispered. “I mean, each time… there wasn’t a time when I didn’t…”
“I didn’t,” Becca said. She started to pick at her fingernails. “I can’t tell you the last time I was correct with my stuff.”
“Jesus,” I whispered. “Even still… wait a second. I shouldn’t be saying this. I should be asking you how you’re feeling. If you’ve seen a doctor yet. If I can do anything.” I tossed the bag into the bathroom sink. I stepped toward Becca. “We need to talk about this. This entire thing here. Jesus, Becca. I… you must be terrified. I mean, all things considered. I’m not going to do anything stupid to you. I swear. I’ll be there for whatever…”
Becca put two fists to my chest and punched. “Shut up, Trev.”
“Shut up?”
“It’s not that simple,” she said.
“It’s not?”
“Shit, Trev, no. Nothing is ever that simple with us. With everything that happened.”
“Okay. What the hell are you trying to say, Becca? Those tests are yours, right?”
“Yes. I’m pregnant. Yes. That part is true. I haven’t seen a doctor yet. I am terrified. And I don’t want to lose you.”
“Lose me? You’re not going to lose me. I mean, we can’t…”
My head spun. She’s pregnant with my baby and she needs me. She needs more of me than I want to give. But her needs…
I thought about my father. What he did to me. To my mother. Chasing his own sense of pleasure instead of focusing on his family.
“Shit,” I said and rubbed my jaw.
I stepped out of the bathroom and walked away from Becca. I needed a second alone.
I understood why Serafina left. She did the right thing.
Because I couldn’t love her anymore.
* * *
Becca touched my arm. “Hey.”
“Sorry,” I said. I cleared my throat. “This is…”
“Trev, stop,” she said. “Stop right now. Dammit. You’re such a hard ass with so much, but with stuff like this you’re a big mush.”
“And that’s a bad thing? I’ve just found out that I’m going to be a father. I’m in love with someone else, Becca. And now…”
Becca reached up and put her hand to my mouth. “You were right.”
“What?” I said with her hand on my mouth.
She slid her hand away. “You were right. About us. When we were together. There was no… I mean, of course there’s always a chance, right? But us… you were always taken care of… and you never…”
“What are you saying?” I asked.
“She’s saying it’s not yours,” a voice said from somewhere else in the apartment.
I had this quick image of Heath standing there. That he didn’t actually die. And that he was back to claim Becca as his own. That they would be engaged, having a baby, and live a good life together. The way it was supposed to be.
But it wasn’t Heath. Heath was dead. That meant for forever. There was no coming back.
Instead, I watched as someone else stepped forward.
I looked at Becca. She bit her lip and started to tear up again.
I looked to the familiar face walking toward me.
“Holy shit,” I whispered. “Matt…”
You know, Matt, the other guy in the car that night of the accident.
Heath’s best friend.
* * *
I backed up toward the door and watched as Matt stood next to Becca. I thought for a second that they were going to start holding hands or something. Their body language was pretty intense and they looked really comfortable next to each other.
“What is this?” I asked.
“It’s not yours, man,” Matt said.
“What?”
&nbs
p; That’s when Matt took Becca’s hand.
“I’m sorry,” Becca said. Fresh tears lined her eyes.
I shook my head. “What the hell is happening right now?”
“Right after you and I…,” Becca said to me. “You know… when we got together. It was so intense between us. We were both grieving so badly. That’s what made it work. And anytime we were together, we were safe. You know that. I know that.”
I looked at Matt. “You… with her…”
“Yeah, man,” he said.
“One night after you left,” Becca said. “I called Matt. He was there too that night.”
“He was dead drunk,” I said. “He was passed out in the back seat of the car. He woke up in the hospital and thought he’d had to get his stomach pumped. He didn’t even know he’d been in an accident.”
“Hey, take it easy,” Matt said. “You’re off the hook here. This is on me.”
“Off the hook?” I asked. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“We love each other,” Becca said.
I ran a hand through my hair. “You love each other…”
“Listen, Trev,” Matt said. He stepped forward and let Becca’s hand go. “I knew everything all along. Okay? I came over the night she called me. She just wanted to talk. She was looking for a friend.”
I looked at Becca. “That’s what you wanted from me? But we let things go too far.”
Becca nodded. “I don’t regret it, Trev.”
I tried to wrap my head around this situation. I had been fooling around with Becca while she had been having a serious thing with Matt. And everyone but me knew about this.
“Wait a second,” I said. “If you were just talking to her, then how…”
Matt grinned. “Dude. You need me to give you an eighth grade health lesson?”
I felt my hand clench up tightly into a fist.
That’s when Becca hurried forward. She grabbed my fist. “No. You’re not going to do this.”
“Come on, man,” Matt said. “This is serious. We knew what we were doing.”
EVERYTHING WRONG WITH US_a novel by: Page 20