Ruthless Heart

by Eve L Mitchell

  Derrick moved from the counter where he’d been resting his elbows.

  “Ava?” He looked her over in concern, and then his face hardened when he noted my jersey.

  “Hi, Derrick.” I saw her smile at him as she smoothed her hands over her shorts. “Um, hey, team.” Her face was on fire, but she stood firm.

  I felt her relax slightly as my arm wound itself around her waist, and she leaned into me. “You want some pancakes?” I asked her softly.

  “Is that okay?” Ava asked, looking at Jamie. “If I have some?”

  “Aren’t you a Lions fan?” Jamie asked her with a scowl as he flipped his pancakes.

  “I’ve been persuaded to consider my options,” Ava said to him with an easy smile and a twinkle in her eye and the guys laughed. It was as if all the tension in the room dissipated as Ava visibly relaxed.

  Jamie smiled widely and poured more batter into the pan. “How many you want?”

  “You okay there?” I asked Derrick, who was still watching Ava.

  “Yeah, I wasn’t expecting…never mind.”

  Ava caught his tone and playfully punched his shoulder. “Why so glum? I haven’t seen you since the party at Oakwood a few weeks ago.”

  “I think you’re mistaken.”

  Why was he acting like a dick? My eyes flicked to my brother, who was already giving our corner his full attention.

  “No, I’m not,” Ava said as she accepted some bacon from Jamie. “Remember, you’d lost your keys.” I saw her frown as if she was remembering something. “No, not keys,” she murmured to herself.

  “You’re mistaken,” he snapped at her.

  Ava shook her head, and I watched it happen. “You were going to walk me home,” she whispered, the bacon falling from her fingers. “You gave me a bottle of…” Her eyes flew to mine, and my eyes snapped to Derrick’s.

  “Water,” I growled as I surged forward, my fist scrunching his shirt as I hauled him towards me.

  “It was you.”

  “Easy, brother,” Gray said calmly behind me.

  “You fucking piece of shit,” I grated out through my teeth. “You drugged me?”

  Derrick’s eyes glanced to Ava, and I banged his head off the wall. “Her? It was for Ava?” My fist connected with his jaw, but I kept him standing, and I punched him again and again and again.

  “Jett!” Ash’s hand was on my arm, and I shook him off. “Your hand,” he warned me quietly as he made me take a step back.

  “Talk.” Shoving him into the wall, I stepped back and watched as he wiped the blood from his nose.

  “Why are we listening to the little slut?” He tried to laugh it off. I leaped forward again, but Gray was there, his arm across Derrick’s throat, pinning him to the wall.

  “I suggest you speak fast,” he said, his voice low and steady.

  “Who was the water for?” I asked Derrick. I needed him to say it, and I felt Ash clasp firmly onto my shoulder, holding me back.

  He licked his lips, and I was sure he was going to say nothing, and then Ava moved in front of me, her eyes wide with unshed tears as she looked at him.

  “Why?” she whispered. “I’m nobody, I’ve spoken to you maybe three, four times?” Shaky hands pushed her hair back, and if my cousin wasn’t holding me back, I would have gone to her.

  “You’re not nobody,” Derrick said. The change in his demeanour was quietly terrifying. “You’re beautiful. You’re kind. But you have shit choices in friends.” Scorn curled his lip upwards, and he looked at me. “And guys. I could have shown you.”

  It was his look that was the trigger for my memory, and I remembered. He’d been in my ear for too long at the party, and the guy I was looking for wasn’t there. I said as much to Derrick, and he told me the person he was looking for wasn’t there either. His tone had caused me to look at him, and I remembered asking who he was looking for. He had laughed it off and said he’d see me later.

  He had gone to the kitchen and studied the bottles of water so long I asked him if he was okay. He’d jumped like he’d been caught doing something, and then he asked if I was going back to the house. I said yes, and he had handed me a bottle of water for the walk home. He’d told me he’d be back soon—he needed to find his keys—and then picked two bottles of water up and hurried out the door.

  The whole situation was weird, and sensing something was off, I followed him. He didn’t head back to the dorm house, and curious, I stayed back and then felt like a paranoid dick when I heard the music coming from Oakwood. He was going to another party, no big deal. It was probably to get his keys that he’d mentioned. I opened the water and drank as I turned to head back to the house.

  I saw her at the same time he did. Blonde, pretty, wearing simple jeans and a T-shirt, and at first, I thought she was hammered. Her feet tripped over themselves, and Derrick launched forward and caught her.

  Her voice and hand movements were completely contradictory to a drunk person, and I realised she was maybe just clumsy. She sounded clear, but the more I watched her, her body started to tell a different story. Moving closer, I saw him cop a feel of her ass as she spoke to him animatedly, she didn’t seem to notice he’d just felt her ass. It didn’t sit right with me, his hands on her body, and I moved into the light so he knew I was there.

  “Ava recognised me,” I told him. “She gave me some shit about fluffing up three of my passes against Kentucky.” I looked at her, and she wiped her eyes hurriedly. “I remember now, I couldn’t figure out if you were drunk, high or just annoying.” I scoffed a laugh. “You spoke so clearly.”

  “I told you that,” Ava whispered with a sad smile.

  “You couldn’t keep your hands off her.” My attention went back to Derrick. “I didn’t like it, it wasn’t right.”

  He said nothing as he stared at me, only wiping his nose every now and then when the blood from his busted nose trickled into his mouth.

  “You offered us both a bottle of water,” Ava said to him sadly. “For the heat.”

  “You were dehydrated,” he grumbled.

  “I was about to be more than fucking thirsty though, if you got your way,” she yelled, suddenly stepping forward in her anger. “You piece of shit, you were going to what? Wait until I passed out?”

  Derrick’s eyes snapped in anger. He must have forgotten Gray was at his throat. “Slut!” he screamed at her. “The whole fucking house heard you screaming like a whore. Don’t stand there and act like you’re innocent. You make me sick, you’re just another whore.”

  Ava lunged for him and thank fuck Gray remembered her speed and saw it coming as he stepped back before she elbowed Derrick in the face and then brought her knee to his balls, dropping him to the floor.

  “I’m not a whore, I was a virgin, you sick fuck.” Her foot slammed into his ribs. “You fucking bastard.” She shook her head in disgust. “You have no fucking right to judge me.”

  My arms circled her as I pulled her back. “It’s okay. I’m here.” Turning her in my arms, I wrapped my arms around her when I saw the tears spill over, and I looked to my brother and Ash. “Call Coach.”

  “I already did,” Jamie said as he stepped forward, and I turned to him cautiously. Ava must have felt me tense, as she stopped crying.

  “Who for?” I asked Jamie, and I felt Ash and Gray move behind me.

  “For him.” He spat on Derrick’s prone form. “I suggest you clean your hands; he’ll go fucking nuts when he sees them.”

  I looked at the rest of the team in the kitchen as they stood stoically. “You’re not going to say anything?”

  “Didn’t see anything,” the safety said. “You see anything?” he asked his friend, and he shook his head.

  “And me?” Ava said quietly.

  “I saw self-defence,” Jamie answered her gently. Ava nodded once and leaned back into my chest. “I reckon you have ten minutes,” Jamie said. “Clean up and be ready.”

  “Got it.”

  Gray and Ash stayed behind t
o watch Derrick, and I pulled Ava into my bathroom. Silently, I washed my hands, and when I winced at the cuts on them, she took over drying them and asked me where the alcohol wipes were.

  Pointing to the cabinet under the sink, I sat on the counter as she cleaned my scrapes. “I offered to walk you home,” I said quietly. “I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.” Ava said nothing as she cleaned my hands. “You saw Wade, you didn’t want him to see you with me.” I huffed out a disgruntled laugh. “You ducked out of sight, and I had no idea what to say to him, so I said I lost my keys.” I pushed her away from me as I remembered. “All I wanted was him gone.” I watched her as she shuffled on her feet. “I walked you home, you drank all your water and were still thirsty. I shared mine with you.” Shaking my head, I remembered her standing outside her dorm, her boldness and no shits attitude had intrigued me. “You gave me so much shit about my game, you weren’t like any other girl who was interested in my football career. You actually cared about the game, it was a nice change.” Her eyes flicked to mine before she gave a half-hearted shrug. “I wanted to fuck you.”

  Ava inhaled sharply at my words but she didn’t flinch. “I wanted it too,” she admitted. “I wanted to know what it felt like to be kissed by Jett Santo.”

  “You told me you lived with a roommate, I suggested we go to my place. And then, well, we have our hazy memories.” I couldn’t hide my disgust at myself.

  Finally, skittish green eyes lifted to meet mine. “I’m sorry.”

  I blinked. “Why are you sorry?”

  “I really was the reason you got suspended,” she whispered as a tear slipped over.

  Was she kidding me? “Ava? You were…assaulted.” I couldn’t look at her, I felt like scum.

  Cool hands clasped my cheeks. “No,” she whispered as she rose onto her tiptoes and brushed her lips over mine. “I told you, it wasn’t like that. My body knew you, I wanted you. I want you.”

  “And how do you know?” I asked as I pushed her away. “How do you know if I hadn’t come along, you wouldn’t have wanted Derrick?”

  Ava bit her lip as she shook her head. “I don’t know—”

  I snorted in disgust before she stepped back into my space.

  “I don’t know how to make you believe me,” she continued. “I need you to trust me, I would know the difference. I know how you touched me, I know you didn’t force me, I know you took your time with me, I know what you made me feel.” Her hands reached for me. “Jett, please listen to me.”

  My head dropped into my hands as I ran them through my hair in frustration. “You can’t know.” I sighed. “You’ll probably never know.”

  “So that’s it?” Ava asked me tiredly. “You’ll always think this?”

  I met her look, and I shrugged. “What else can I think? I’m no better than him.”

  I heard the knock on the door as Ash told me Coach was here. With a sad smile, I left her in my bathroom. I didn’t know how I could ever look at her again, as the guilt was already weighing me down.

  Derrick was taken by Coach and campus police to the real police. I had no idea how the school’s PR team would handle this, but my dad phoned and insisted all three of us come home, which meant the board already knew.

  The drive home was silent, and I had to fight the urge to turn around and see if Ava was okay. I shouldn’t have left her, but I didn’t want to be there when she realised that I was no better than Derrick. Coach told me that the school would reach out to her and see what she needed but he agreed that I needed to give her space.

  Space I could give her.

  In the kitchen at home, my parents and my aunt and uncle demanded all the details. I hadn’t really wanted to talk about it, so Gray and Ash filled them in as I sat and stared at the wall. Every touch with her, every smile, every captured gasp replayed in my head as I analysed every moment with her.

  Now that Derrick had been revealed as the missing piece, I remembered mostly everything and I was sure that Ava would too.

  “Jett,” my mom spoke softly to me. “Jett, honey, can we talk?”

  I looked around the kitchen. Everyone was gone except mom. “Where are they?”

  She sighed as she reached out to stroke my arm. “I think Gray is punching the shit out of something in the gym, and your dad is waiting to pick him up, and then I guess the two of them will run on the treadmill until they collapse.” She tried to smile. “You know, Santo men shit.”

  I snorted out a laugh. “And Ash?”

  “Kage will be punching the shit out of something, and Ash will be waiting to pick him up, then they’ll swim laps until Aunt Charlotte needs to rescue them,” mom said dryly. “Same Santo, same man shit.” She lost her smile as she looked back at me. “I hate that this happened to you.”

  “Ava, it happened to Ava, mom.”

  “I know, I know that, sweetie…but it happened to you too.”

  “I still don’t remember it like I should, I didn’t think I drank that much of the second bottle,” I told her quietly.

  “But you must have.” She answered me gently. “You don’t remember the night at all?” she asked me curiously.

  “Now I do.” I stood from the table. “Now I have it in full Imax surround sound in my head.”

  “And what does it tell you?” she asked me as she gave me her full attention.

  “That she was as willing as I was.”

  Mom nodded and plucked at her sleeve. “So, what we need to know is if you both would have been that way if you weren’t drugged.”

  I shrugged. I didn’t know.

  “And your brother and cousin tell me that you and Ava are a very hands-on couple.”

  Couple?

  “They do?” I asked cautiously.

  “Yes, Gray says you’re drawn to her like a moth to the flame, and Ash says he’s never seen you happier than you were this morning with her.” Her smile was full of love. “Drugged water or not, Jett, you and Ava would have ended up together.”

  “She’s an Alabama Lions fan,” I blurted out.

  My mom laughed. “And now we know how you were attracted to each other: she poked your QB ego.”

  I grinned despite myself. She probably did. Ava was definitely ballsy enough to spike my interest.

  “She sounds nice,” mom said.

  “She is,” I agreed.

  “We could send you both to couples therapy?”

  “I think that’s too soon, mom,” I replied as I rolled my eyes.

  “Quinn is extending the invitation to Ava,” mom said as she stood.

  “What invitation?” I asked in alarm. “Quinn is not exactly friendly towards her.”

  “She needs to talk to someone about this, a professional. We’re sending you to one too.” Mom poured me a glass of water from the fridge. “Don’t bullshit me, you need to talk about this. Either together or separately, I don’t mind, but it is happening.”

  “I’m not going,” I told her adamantly. “But I think it’s good if Ava does, thank you.”

  “Your father can speak to you about it.”

  I wisely said nothing. My mom was sweet and kind but stubborn as an ox when she wanted something. I already knew dad would agree with me, and then I would have an appointment anyway. Sable Santo was very protective of her children. Whether I went or not was a battle for another day.

  “Should we check on them?” I said instead.

  “No, your hand’s already a mess, you don’t need to hit anything else,” mom scolded. “You will eat.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  Dark blue eyes met mine. “You’ll eat the sandwich I made for you, and then you will complain to me that you shouldn’t have had so many carbs the week of the Alabama game.” She tossed her black hair over her shoulder. “You will then proceed to tease me that I didn’t make the sandwich and that cook did, and you will then heckle me until I confess.”

  I felt myself smile despite the horrible day. “Is that right?” I asked her.

&nbs
p; “Yes, that, my dear boy, is right.” Her eyes twinkled as she took a plate out of the fridge, placing it down beside me and then putting a small dish of pasta salad beside it. I saw her bite her cheek thoughtfully as my fork dug into the pasta. “I did make that.”

  My fork froze.

  Mom looked at me and then the dish. “Yeah, don’t eat it. It’s horrible.” She patted my shoulder as she took it off me. “Eat your sandwich.”

  Later, when Gray and my dad both looked like they’d gone ten rounds in the boxing ring, I had the same conversation with dad about a therapist.

  I was happy to let him fight that battle for me with my mom. Not tonight though, we really weren’t masochists.

  My phone was beside me, a heavy presence in the room, and giving up the pretence of ignoring it, I switched it on. I had several messages from Quinn, and I felt guilty all over again. I had two from Jamie, which surprised me, but he came through for me today. I had some other bullshit but nothing from Ava.

  Had such a short time away from me already made her hate me?

  Me: Are you okay?

  I waited. No reply.

  Gray came into the room, his eyes dark with concern.

  “You okay?” he asked as he lay down beside me.

  “Yeah.” I hesitated. “No? I don’t know.”

  “Shit sucks,” he said as we both stared at the ceiling.

  “Yes, it does.”

  “She’ll come around.” He sounded confident. “Or you will. You’ll realise you’re being a dick.”

  Turning my head, I looked at my brother. “Wow.”

  “You know what I mean, you’re spiting your nose for your face.” He frowned. “Or whatever they say.”

  “Cutting off my nose to spite my face,” I told him dryly.

  “That’s it.”

  “You’re very supportive,” I mocked him.

  “You like her, she likes you, a lot. This will pass, and it’ll work out.” He sat up and swung his legs off the bed. “What won’t pass is we need to win against Alabama, and we need to keep going on the other thing.”