(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5)

by Michelle Mankin

  “If you read her email tonight, you would get it. She went to the shop to do inventory. In the middle of the fucking night for who knows what. She found the deed of sale made out in her name on the counter. She was fucking ecstatic. She bought all the bullshit. She’s already making plans. Going on and on about the changes she’s going to make so the place will be more successful.” He let out an agonized sigh that cut me to the bone. “All that fucking money. I hope you choke on it, man. I truly do, the way I feel right now. But I can’t make her give it back. Because more than I want my next breath, I want to give her the things she wants to be happy. But it kills me, man, it positively kills, that you gave her that dream instead of me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  * * *

  Karen - September 2004

  “Put the rash guards over there,” I showed Simone. “I want the boards to all be in one place. Lowest price to highest.” I scraped the bandana back into place over my braid and swiped the sweat from my forehead before it could drip into my eyes. I forced myself not to waste headspace I couldn’t afford right now on my marriage. We were in a bad place. I was furious with Dominic for renewing his commitment early without even discussing it with me. It felt just like when he had enlisted the first time. He made unilateral decisions that left me feeling powerless and more alone than ever, yet he had no problem dressing me down for borrowing against our savings for the new inventory without his consent. “We’re never going to be ready to open in two hours,” I lifted my panic filled gaze to my longtime friend. “The caterer’s not even here yet.”

  “It’ll be ok.” Simone put her hands on my shoulders. “Take a deep breath. So what if there are no hot dogs. It’s ok if the boards aren’t exactly the way you want them. The changes you have made to the store since you took over kick ass. And this grand reopening party is a great idea. Everyone in town is talking about it.”

  “Only because the Dirt Dogs are doing a free show at the pier and a meet and greet over here afterward.”

  A slash of pain cut through Simone’s gaze.

  “I’m sorry. I thought with you and John dating that you would be ok with Linc being here.”

  “John and I are over. We were over before it even started. He told me there wasn’t enough room in my bed for three.”

  “Oh, Simone. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s ok.”

  “And you flew all the way out here to help me even knowing Linc would be around?”

  “I would do anything for you, honey. When is that going to sink into your head?”

  “I’d do anything for you, too.” I gathered her hands and pressed my forehead to hers. “I love you.”

  “Right back at ya times infinity,” she whispered.

  “You can take off if you need to. I’ll be ok.”

  “So will I. I’m not going anywhere. Not until the meet and greet. I’ll let your parents take over then. Just in case. This is your big dream. I want to be here. You’ve been out to New York to see all my sucky shows so far.”

  “You sent me plane and show tickets. And they weren’t sucky.”

  “They were. I don’t think any of them ran longer than two weeks.”

  “You were brilliant in each role.”

  “Spoken like the true friend of an artist.” She pulled back and straightened her Offshore shop t-shirt. “I’ll rearrange the boards. You call the caterer.”

  • • •

  “I just closed the front door. But we’ll have to reorder inventory in the morning.” I dropped the last trash sack into the dumpster and collapsed into a folding chair beside my dad. “But I’m too tired to do anything else right now.”

  “Offshore is a huge success, Sunshine.”

  “It is. Isn’t it?” I gave my dad a tired grin.

  “I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Daddy. I appreciate you and mom helping out.”

  “Anything for you.” He leaned back in his chair and took a long pull on his beer.

  I did the same with mine, enjoying the peace and solitude in the alleyway behind the shop after the insanity of the day. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, trying not to think about the only downside. But I failed because it was a big downside, one that had been nagging at me for a while.

  Ramon was avoiding me, like majorly avoiding me, and he had been doing it for the past six months ever since I took ownership of the shop. At first I had believed him when he claimed to be too busy to talk. After all, the Dogs had been swamped with endorsement and appearance requests ever since the Oscars. I had felt fortunate that they had been able to fit in my grand opening.

  But Ramon hadn’t been too busy today. He had been hanging around flirting with the girls from Hooter’s. Whenever I had tried to get his attention, he had shooed me away as if I were his personal assistant and he was sending me off to fetch him a bottled water.

  It pissed me off just thinking about it even hours later. If he didn’t want to be around me anymore, if our friendship was through, he should just tell me right to my face.

  “Daddy,” I called sitting up straight in my chair. “I think I’m gonna go for a walk. Can you lock up and set the alarm for me?”

  “Absolutely.” I could feel his speculative gaze on me as I took the bandana off my head and slid it into the back pocket of my cutoffs. “You heading to any place in particular?” he queried in an odd tone.

  “Yeah.” I turned to look at him.

  “Do you think that’s wise, honey?” He gave me along pointed look. “I think Ramon made it pretty clear more than a couple of times today that he wants you to leave him be. And you know since…” He trailed off, his leading statement making the fine hairs at the back of my neck stand on end.

  “No, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?” A little dose of Ramon’s no bullshit practicality seemed to be what was called for at the moment.

  “Well no one knows about the shop except for us and Dominic, but folks have been speculating about it and about you and Ramon and the nature of your friendship.”

  “Oh, they have, have they?” My cheeks flamed. I put my hands on my hips.

  He nodded somberly. “Don’t you think it would be best if you spent a little less time with him?”

  My stomach knotted on that thought. “He’s my friend, Daddy,” I whispered. “Nothing like what you’ve suggested has ever happened between us.”

  “I believe you.” He gave me along searching look in the encroaching darkness. “But you two are very close, and the way he looks at you sometimes, I wonder if maybe it’s only a matter of time before what’s between you harms your marriage.”

  Tears filled my eyes. Deep down in my heart, I wondered if he might be right.

  “I love you.” I stood, leaned over and kissed my father’s cheek, absolving him for speaking the unvarnished truth. “But I need to do this.” Needed to know what was going on. Needed to confront Ramon. To get everything out into the open. “Thanks for being the best dad in the world and thanks for locking up for me.”

  I wasn’t sure what was going to happen as I turned my feet in the direction of the OB Hotel where I knew Ramon and the rest of the guys were staying, but I was more determined than ever to figure things out.

  • • •

  I heard the loud music as soon as I ducked beneath the portico. The bass thumped against my chest as I climbed the stairs in the inner courtyard. I dodged women on the staircase I recognized from town, but I doubted they wanted me to acknowledge them since they were all naked from the waist up. It seemed the Dirt Dogs’ topless party policy lived on.

  When I reached his room, I rapped on the door. A brunette with a red Solo cup in her hand, her large boobs swinging unrestrained, answered it. She gave me the head to toe once over. “You’ll do. He digs blondes. But ditch the top and bra, sweetie. If your tits pass inspection, he might let you stay.”

  “I don’t,” I huffed. “I’m not.” I glanced over her shoulder, trying to locate Ramo
n through the thick haze that had that unpleasant though readily identifiable skunk odor. The Dirt Dogs’ guitarist lay sprawled on a small couch, his lips curved into a lazy grin, his heavy-lidded gaze focused on the two girls from Hooter’s that he’d had his arms around earlier in the day. They didn’t appear interested in him. They were completely nude and going after each other. Their orgasmic moaning had the attention of most of the other partiers packed inside the room.

  At any other time I might have turned around and left. But not tonight. Tonight he and I had unfinished business.

  “Hey, Romeo,” I called catching the attention of the sardonic king lounging on his ganja clouded throne. I snapped off my top and waved it in the air. “Your bouncer tells me you’re looking for blondes.” He came up and off of the couch with impressive speed, though he weaved as he stumbled toward me.

  “Put your shirt back on, Karen.” The wave of his dismissive hand made the defined muscles on his naked chest ripple.

  “Or what?” It hurt that he seemed to be rejecting me again like he had all those years ago at the first Dirt Dogs’ party. I tossed my Offshore shirt aside and reached backward between my shoulder blades to unclasp my bra. “I’m just playing along like all of the rest of your subjects.” The clasp came undone, the lacy cups drifted indecently low while the loosened straps slid to mid shoulder. “I’m tired of you ignoring me.”

  Like you have been doing for months, I thought to myself.

  His dark gaze dipped to my chest. I held the unfastened bra over my breasts, but it barely covered them. The nipples hardened to points beneath his rapt attention.

  “Everyone out!” he shouted abruptly, throwing one of his sculpted arms wide. His half-unbuttoned jeans slid lower on his narrow hips revealing an enticing arrow of dark hair. My mouth went dry. My pulse began to throb. I shifted from one restless leg to the other, but my eyes remained locked on his as people streamed by me on either side. More than a few glanced back and forth between Ramon and me before leaving.

  “Close the door,” he ordered gruffly after the last partygoer passed me. Holding my bra in place, I clicked it closed. When I turned around he had his back turned to me. It was as chiseled as his chest, and I couldn’t help but appreciate the way his jeans hugged his ass.

  “Put your clothes back on, Karen. You have my attention. What’s so important that you had to come here and disrobe in front of a room full of people?”

  “I don’t respond well to being ordered around. But I think you know that or maybe you don’t anymore since you haven’t said more than a few words to me in months.”

  “We’re not having this conversation until you have your shirt completely back on.” His long thick curls skimmed the top of his rigid spine. He turned his head slightly, but didn’t make direct eye contact with me over his shoulder.

  “Alright.” I managed to refasten the clasp and bent over to snag my shirt from the floor, but he turned around before I could pull it over my head. I held it in front of me, the fluttery feeling I got whenever he looked at me intensifying in that frozen moment with the bed so close and his eyes slowly running the length of me.

  Thoughts came rushing to the front of my mind, thoughts that I had buried, thoughts that probably should have sent me running for the door. I would wish I had later. But in the present moment, I acknowledged those secret thoughts, acknowledged that I wanted to touch him, acknowledged that I wanted to run my fingers all over his bronze skin. Was he warm? Was his body as hard as it looked, like heated copper over sinuous steel? I wanted to press my breasts to his chest. I wanted him to cradle them in his hands. I wanted him to press his sensuous lips to mine. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to know what so many other women knew. Would it be as good as I had imagined it…to be fucked by Ramon Martinez?

  Eyes locked on mine, Ramon took one step closer and then another. I held my breath. My heart practically pounded out of my chest. He stopped a foot away. I gripped the shirt tighter. Please, I pleaded silently as his eyes searched mine. Please set me free from the cage my life has become. Please tell me you feel the same way I do. I didn’t know what he was looking to find, but I latched onto his gaze and held tightly with everything I had in me, letting him see the emotions I had hidden away for years.

  “Say what you need to say, Karen.” His sharp voice sliced through me, leaving me feeling gravely wounded. “What are you waiting for? Let’s get this latest drama of yours over.” His eyes narrowed. “I’ve got more interesting things to occupy my time.”

  I dropped my gaze, my cheeks burning hot. He had totally humiliated me. Why had I let him see my desire? Stupid, stupid girl. He was right to reject me. Remember, I told myself. Never forget this. Never make the same mistake again.

  I poked my head through the opening in my shirt, wishing it were a shell I could crawl into and never come out. I avoided his gaze as I shrugged it back into place. He and I could never go back to the way things had been before. Our friendship had ended tonight. I knew it with a certainty that chilled my blood.

  “I just wanted to get things in the open.” I straightened my shoulders. “To let you know how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for me. The surf shop is a huge success.” My eyes filled. “I know about your part in it. That I wouldn’t have it if it weren’t for you.”

  “You’re making this out to be a big deal when it really isn’t.”

  “But…” I began.

  “Listen.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I made a promise a long time ago to Patch to look after you.” My chilled blood completely froze. “But the grind of that promise has gotten to be too much. The shop was a way to pay off that debt. An easy one, really.”

  “Oh, I…” I didn’t know what to say. I found myself completely alone and adrift, caught in a current in an unfamiliar sea.

  “I’m busy. I can’t be running back to OB all the time to sort you out anymore.” His accent was thick. “I thought if I bought the shop and put a little space between us you would take the hint and realize what a pain looking after you and all of this really is for me.”

  “So you’re telling me that our entire friendship was a lie?” I spat the accusation at him as if it were venom that needed to be quickly extracted before it could stop my heart.

  He wouldn’t meet my gaze. But he nodded.

  “You’re a liar.” I denounced, trembling with hurt, pain and rage.

  “Believe what you want to believe.”

  “I believe that you’re torpedoing our friendship because you’re chicken shit. You’re frightened of the way I make you feel. Scared of the power you think that gives me over you. Afraid that if you stick around you might act on those feelings.” I crossed my arms. “So you’re right to leave. It’s good for you to go. If you were a different man, a stronger man, a better man, you would stay, you would…”

  “That’s quite an elaborate friends-to-lovers fantasy,” he cut in looking at me coolly through his thick lashes. “Did it seem like any of that shit was true when you walked in here and started stripping?” I nearly rocked back on my heels from the force of the belligerence in his voice. “Fucking finally grow up, Karen. Why would I settle for you when I can have any pussy I want? I tell ‘em to spread, they spread. I tell ‘em to kneel, they kneel. Play they play, like those two were doing before you spoiled all my fun. I ever give you the impression I was baiting a hook I wanted you to bite?”

  I stared at him aghast, reeling from the ugliness in his twisted words.

  “I didn’t think so. I don’t need to poach off of my best friend. The kind of scenario you just dreamed up is exactly why we’re through. You have an active imagination and too much fucking time on your hands.”

  Tears flooding my eyes, I turned away, my movements so awkward that I nearly tripped over my own feet. I got myself in motion though my footsteps fell heavily like lead. I had a mountain of worry and hurt weighing me down. In the past he had helped me shoulder those burdens. From now on I was going to have to find the strength
to do it on my own.

  I yanked the handle on the door. He said something that I assumed was a final dismissal, but my pulse thundered too loudly inside my ears for me to hear the words.

  Out on the landing, the party was carrying on as enthusiastically as ever. The brunette that had let me in snickered as the door snapped open behind me. I didn’t have to look back to know he was beckoning her and the others back in.

  I straightened my spine and lifted my chin, pulling myself together the best I could, while gathering in the train of my tattered pride so that his legions didn’t trample it in their rush to return to him.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  * * *

  Ramon - September 2007

  “Leave me alone, man.” I groaned. “Let me fucking die in peace.”

  “No way, asshole. Come on. Get up.” I cracked open my eyes to a blurry world that I didn’t want to face, not since I had cut my own heart out trying to do the right thing. A dismal world that I had to confront every time I had a single moment of clarity.

  “Fuck. How much did he take?”

  “I dunno. The syringe and the bowl he used are empty. Keep those in case he loses consciousness again. If he does we’re gonna have to take him in.”

  “It’ll go on his record. He’ll have to do rehab.”

  “Maybe he needs to do rehab.”

  “Maybe we can get a group rate.”

  “Get his legs over the rim.”

  “Shit!” I shouted as the cold water hit me. I sputtered as they forced my face under the spray. Their faces came into focus. Linc. Ash. And Diesel.

  “What the fuck?” I managed, trying to sound belligerent.

  Ash shut off the water and tossed me a towel.

  “What the fuck is right,” Linc said it like an avowal of my own stupidity.

  “You trying to kill yourself, dude?” Diesel asked point blank.