The Librarian's Vampire Assistant, Book 4

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “I’m hungry,” Stella says, bouncing in her seat as the pilot prepares for takeoff.

  “Too bad. I gave you the chance to eat, and you did not—”

  “Michael Vanderhorst!” a sharp female voice calls out. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

  I lift my eyes. Standing before me in the doorway is a woman with long blonde hair straightened to perfection. Her smoky eye makeup matches her dark gray pantsuit.

  “Miriam?”

  She marches toward me and snatches up Stella from her seat while her disapproving eyes drill into me.

  “Mommy!” Stella throws her tiny arms around Miriam’s neck while I reason with myself. I saw her die.

  “That’s right, honey. I am here now.” Miriam pets the back of her head. “And I won’t ever leave you again.”

  “Are you real?” Logic says this is an illusion.

  “Yeah. Are you?” she bites back. “Who talks to a child like that? Their child!”

  “How are you here right now?”

  “Figure it out, genius.”

  “I saw Nice break your neck,” I mutter aloud, confused more than anything.

  “We’ll be at my house when you get your head out of your ass. Until then, don’t come near us. I mean it.” She turns to leave and disappears in the blink of an eye.

  Hold on. Miriam is a vampire? Miriam is a vampire. Once again, I reach for my emotions, only to find a vacuous space. I know I should feel like the luckiest man in the world. I should be down on my knees, screaming to the heavens. Stella is safe. Miriam, the love of my life, is alive. We can be a family.

  The only problem is I feel nothing. I push with my mind against that steel door where I have locked it all away, but it does not give. And I do not care. Not even enough to appreciate the irony. I won. Yet, I somehow realize I have lost everything.

  I shrug. Oh well. Still have a kingdom to rule.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Miriam

  When I woke an hour after having my neck snapped, I knew exactly what had happened. Nice made me drink from him the morning before the big meeting and said if I gave him one wrong look, he would turn me and I would never see Stella again. “Choo will live an eternity not knowing where she is.”

  But seeing Michael holding that little girl’s hand in the meeting hall—whoever the heck she was—made me realize I couldn’t continue like this, separated from the people I feel connected to most: Stella and Michael. Because I was wrong when I told him I’d rather stay with Nice and see my baby girl once a week than have nothing at all. The truth is I’d rather die than live one more day without them both. I figured that turning into a vampire was a step up from there. A compromise. Give up my human life for a real life. So I rolled the dice, told the truth, and let Nice take his revenge.

  So yeah. I’m a vampire. There’s some irony for ya. I was trained to hunt vampires, as were my parents and their parents and so on. Now I am one.

  Frankly, I’m almost relieved. After five years of torment and being threatened by Nice, he can’t hold my humanity over my head any longer. No one can.

  I’m free.

  Also, bonus point, I can go back to reading anything I want instead of Nice’s strange poetry and rhymes. The only good thing he ever read was Fanged Love.

  Thank God he can’t stand having sex with humans. Apparently, he has some hang-up after a human broke his heart seven hundred years ago. He’s a strictly vampires or blow-up dolls only guy.

  Anyway, when I finally woke, knowing he still had Stella, I went after him. I thought about calling Michael, but something deep inside kept screaming that this was my fight and I needed to make him pay. If I called Michael, he would just let his emotions get in the way.

  Boy, was I wrong…

  I got word from a few new friends at the funeral home, who’d been kind enough to set me up with basic supplies to go hunting for Nice, that something was wrong with Michael. Wrong being my own word, because apparently the entire vampire nation is in a celebratory tizzy over the return of the “Executioner,” the ruthless Michael Vanderhorst of legends. And apparently the inspiration for a few roller-coaster rides, too? Vampires are so weird.

  Then I heard Stella had been found and brought to him. Panicked and excited, I flew straight here from Toronto, only to find my worst fear and my biggest relief both come true.

  Stella is safe, free, and in my arms. But what’s the matter with Michael? And is it true what they say about him? That he’s back to his old self? No mercy, no remorse, just honor, duty, and lots and lots of killing. From what I saw just now, I’m getting the feeling that there was no embellishment in those stories.

  “Mommy, you smell different,” Stella says as I carry her out of the plane to the waiting car.

  “I know, baby. I smell like you now. Only you will grow older, and I will not.”

  “What happened to Daddy?”

  Every time I saw Stella during our weekly visits, I would tell her about Michael. I wanted her to feel like she knew him in case something happened to me. At least she wouldn’t think of him as a stranger.

  “I don’t know, honey, but we’ll get to the bottom of it.” Mystery, mystery, mystery!

  Stop it. I don’t even like mysteries, I tell myself.

  We slide in the back of the waiting car, and I close the door. I tell the driver where to go next.

  “How did Daddy find you?” I ask Stella.

  “He didn’t. That woman Lula found us and told Mr. Nice she would be his fanged love forever if he let me go.”

  Oh, Jesus. I’m beyond grateful, because if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be with Stella right now, but Lula has no idea what she’s just signed up for. So many ruffles and so much bad poetry. Then there are all of his dietary quirks.

  Stella adds, “He made her swear, Mommy, to never leave him. Or else.”

  “Or else what?”

  “He will come back for us.”

  I see the fear in my daughter’s eyes, and while I don’t want to lie to her, the truth isn’t an option. She needs a normal life and to feel safe.

  No. She needs to be safe.

  “Don’t you worry about Mr. Nice, sweetheart. You and I are going home. We’re going to have the best Christmas ever, and you’ll never have to see him.” Because Mommy is going to hunt him down. Lula found him, and so can I. The only thing is, I can’t kill him. Not alone. Nice is cunning, fast, and strong. To end him once and for all, I’ll need help.

  We pull up to my house, a sprawling secure home in the hills of Phoenix.

  After five long years, it’s good to be back. I’ve missed my books, my bed, the memories of my family all around to give me comfort.

  “This is our home, Mommy?” Stella asks.

  “Yes, sweetie pie. And we’re going to be safe here.” I unlock the door with a key I have hidden away under one of the many rocks in my cactus garden, and we go inside. I’m expecting dust and cobwebs and lights that don’t work since I haven’t been paying the electric bill. But when I flip the switch in the foyer, everything comes on, including bright lights from my living room.

  What in the world? With Stella’s hand in mine, I approach cautiously. “I don’t believe it.” In the center of my living room is a massive sparkling Christmas tree. Gifts wrapped in every color, tied with shiny golden bows, are piled high beneath it.

  “Mommy! Look!” Stella runs to a giant teddy bear with a red bow around its neck.

  I can’t take my eyes off the note stuck to the tree. I walk over and read it. Every word brings tears to my eyes. Michael arranged all of this with one of those personal Christmas-decorating companies for my homecoming.

  Oh, God. I hold my hand over my heart. He must’ve arranged it before Nice turned me. He thought he’d be bringing me home. Bringing us home. A home I want to protect. A home Nice will always be a threat to.

  My dilemma suddenly becomes crystal clear. The kind man I love, the vampire with a beautiful, loyal heart, is the man I want—f
or me and to be a father to Stella. But the vampire I need is someone who knows how to kill the toughest of the tough. He’s ruthless. He’s a legend. He’s the Executioner.

  And I need him to be my assistant…

  THE END (of this episode)

  Keep reading for a note from Mr. Nice, instructions on how to score a free signed bookmark (that my readers helped with), and for a SNEAK PEEK of the super HOOOOOOOT cover for Book #5, which, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, is told by our “super duper” librarian extraordinaire, Miriam.

  Looking for more? Head on over to www.mimijean.net/lva5

  NOTE FROM MR. NICE

  Hello, my human snacks-in-waiting! (Yes, I am speaking to you! Those whose names start with the letter T—Tanya, Tashia, Thuy, Trudy, Tracy, and Tina.) I understand zat some of you are wondering what my plans are. The Nice can only tell you that I have found a new plaything, Lula. But she is not as delicious as my librarian. Lula says she is good and kind, but I have looked deep into her eyes. I know an evil sticky treat when I see one. The Nice can only eat so many sweets, so I am afraid I will have to rethink my plans.

  As for the author, this inventor of lies Mimi Jean person, she spread rumors that the Nice held her in his basement and forced her to write more books. Not true! Clearly, she got away. I would never allow her and her co-writing friend, Kylie Gilmore, to take zi Fanged Love story in such a despicable direction. I speet on happy-ever-afters! Phewy!

  Anyway, I am now relaxing in my luxurious cabin, thinking about zi librarian, who has so many delicious secrets of her own. Vanderhorst believes he knows her, but he does not. As my mother once told me, women who read cannot be trusted. That goes double for librarians.

  With fangs and love,

  Mr. Nice

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Hello, my fang lovers!

  I hope you enjoyed the fourth episode of the Librarian’s Vampire Assistant! I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I decided to write at least one more book, because I felt hearing from Miriam was long overdue. And now…she’s a vampire! (This’ll get interesting.)

  So will she find the key to bringing Michael back from his emotional abyss? And if she uses it, what will it mean for Stella’s safety? I mean, having the Executioner and vampire king as your assistant is pretty badass. And what about Mr. Nice? Now that Michael has stashed away his soft side, he seems to think he’s the deadliest vampire on the planet. But how will he stack up against Nice? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

  Anyway, if you’d like to speculate, commiserate, or just check out some of the giveaways, I invite you to come on over to my Facebook group, facebook.com/groups/MimiJeansJunkies

  And…moving on!

  If you’re looking for a FREE signed bookmark, you know the drill! (But just in case you don’t, here are the steps…)

  1. Email me at mimi@mimijean.net

  2. Give the important deets! (I.e., your full name and shipping info. Please include the country if you’re not in the US.)

  3. Please consider writing a review if you love the book/series. It’s always appreciated and helps me figure out what my readers really want.

  4. If you DO take the time to review, share a link or screenshot in your email. If I have extra goodies, like the coveted fridge magnet, I’ll include one. I do run out, but at the very least, you’ll get a thank-you from me!

  5. Before you go to bed each night, say a prayer to the swag gods, requesting that they provide me with lots of energy to sign all those bookmarks. Also, sometimes my kids help me stuff envelopes, so it wouldn’t hurt to ask the gods to make sure my kids don’t screw up. It happens. LOL.

  6. If you don’t hear back from me in 2–4 weeks (I do mail-outs about 1–2 times per month), then assume the swag gods are dicks and I didn’t get your request. Email me again.

  Okay! That’s all for now! KEEP GOING FOR A SNEAK PEEK of the cover for The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant, Book 5.

  With Love,

  Mimi

  P.S. → PLAYLIST or just search “mimijeanpamfiloff” on Spotify to see all of my playlists.

  Sign up for Mimi’s mailing list for giveaways and new release news!

  STALK MIMI:

  www.mimijean.net

  twitter.com/MimiJeanRomance

  pinterest.com/mimijeanromance

  instagram.com/mimijeanpamfiloff

  facebook.com/MimiJeanPamfiloff

  Acknowledgments

  So she doesn’t kill me (because I accidentally forgot to thank her in the last book), thank you, DALI!!! DALI! DALI! Thank you for all of the book love, patience, and support! You rock!

  And another cheer goes out to Kylie Gilmore and J. Nathan, two awesome authors who put up with my crappy drafts and still manage to provide helpful feedback despite the mountain of typos.

  Thank you to Latoya for the awesome developmental edits. (Book #42! Can you believe it?)

  Pauline, thank you for the flexibility and your eagle eye. And NO, I’m never ever going to get my hyphens straight. LOL.

  Paul, I don’t even know if you ever read these, but thank you for always doing such a professional job!

  Thank you Little Devil for keeping the wheels on the bus! LOL.

  And finally, to my three guys! I KNOW you never read my acknowledgments, like EVER, but I still have to thank you. Coffee, help with dishes and cooking, folding clothes, hugs, doggy potty breaks—I appreciate every bit of it.

  With Love,

  Mimi

  COMING SOON!

  Lookie! Lookie! It’s mean Michael.

  But who is that woman next to him?

  Miriam? Gretta? Lula? (Mystery! Mystery! Mystery!)

  FOR MORE INFO:

  www.mimijean.net/lva5

  WISH

  Coming MARCH 10, 2020!

  EVERYTHING SHE’S EVER WISHED FOR IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.

  One unplanned stop at a garage sale.

  A forgotten bottle with a message and a mysterious man.

  A whole helluva lot of sexy, crazy fun.

  FOR MORE INFO, GO TO:

  www.mimijean.net/wish.html

  WINE HARD, BABY

  OHELLNO, Book 6

  Coming May 26, 2020!

  He’s country.

  She’s wine country.

  It’s a sweet love-hate relationship in the making.

  FOR MORE INFO, GO TO:

  www.mimijean.net/winehard.html

  LOOKING FOR MORE PARANORMAL ROM-COMS?

  Read an excerpt from THE IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC.

  WARNING:

  This book contains F-bombs, unicorns, leather pants, vampires, insane deities, hot assassins, and many references to extremely large penises. If you do not like F-bombs, unicorns, leather pants, vampires, insane deities, hot assassins, or large penises then this story is likely not for you.

  CHAPTER ONE

  “Godsdammit. I’m going to need a snack.” Zac, God of Temptation and the most awesome motherfucking badass deity on the planet, took his Bionic Man lunchbox from his black leather backpack, placed it on his desk, and went for his bologna sandwich.

  “Fuck. Me. This can’t be happening,” he whispered and tore off a big bite while staring at the computer screen. One hundred and fifty? They hadn’t even been open for a day.

  His computer made that strange little swoosh sound, indicating more of this “email” crap was flowing into his “inbox.”

  He took another bite and nearly choked. “What the bloody hell?” Now two hundred and eighty immortals had filled out the online request form.

  He looked over his shoulder, across the empty space of the twentieth floor, which they’d rented in downtown L.A. The big corner office remained empty.

  Traitor.

  It was well past noon, yet his crazy fucking redheaded mess of a sister Cimil, The Goddess of the Underworld, was nowhere to be found on their official first day of business. Of course, she’d insisted on getting the only office because she was “critical to mankind’s survival.”

  Wha
t a bunch of deity-crap. As far as he was concerned, they were both equally valuable to humanity and both in this mess for two reasons: One, she was bat-shit crazy. And two, he’d trusted her. Having to open this matchmaking agency for immortals was all her goddamned fault.

  That’s right. My only crime was falling in love with my brother’s woman. Yeah, so maybe he’d crossed a few lines, using his powers to try (and fail) to break them up. But banishment by the other gods to this hellhole of traffic, smog, and heat they called “Los Angeles”? Then having to come to this enormous, soul-sucking coffin of glass and steel—called an “office building”—every day to work like some lowly mortal slave to assist the unlaid immortal masses?

  No fucking gracias, amigos.

  His eyes darted around the empty space, taking note of its tragically undignified decorum of white walls, gray carpet, and artificial lighting. Maybe I can spruce up the place with some paintings of naked women and chocolate—tempting shit like that.

  He shoved the rest of his sandwich into his mouth, dusted off his hands on his black leather pants, and went back to his computer, toggling through the profiles. Vampire, vampire, demigod, my brother, my other brother, Uchben, immortal warrior…unicorn?

  “Hi. Are you Zac?” said a sweet, feminine voice.

  He looked up and found a short woman with a long blonde ponytail and big blue eyes, standing in the doorway, looking very nervous. Her petite body, though covered in a horribly unrevealing dress with disgusting flowers all over it, was cute and curvy.