All You Could Ask For

by Angeline Fortin

  Kitty doubted that either Richard or Francis were that type either. Indeed, if Francis hadn’t beaten his ex-wife for her indiscretions, as many as they were, it just wasn’t in him to do it at all. She had seen loving relationships enough to know that her marriage wasn’t the norm.

  So, despite it all, men in general still held a general appeal to Kitty and unfortunately Jack Merrill held the strongest one she had ever known. He captured her interest, heart and mind, not only with his good looks but also with his clever conversation, humor and caring. Somehow, she knew he would be appalled to be considered a compassionate person by anyone, but there it was. She had never imagined a man who might offer such comfort as he had done for her that afternoon, one who challenged her intellectually as well. His charms were devastatingly undeniable.

  That was a problem. Especially to a woman such as herself.

  The entire first part of the opera had gone by unnoticed, but for the hum of amusement and bursts of laughter around her, as she tried to determine what course to take against the temptation he represented…or for it. She didn’t want to turn him away. He was entertaining company, witty and intelligent. His handsome face and broad shoulders were enough to make any woman shiver with desire or basic lust. Jack had offered his friendship as well and she was glad for it. Being in his company made her feel alive in ways she had never imagined. He made her forget her problems and tempted her in ways unspeakable.

  There lay the bigger part of the temptation. While having an affair of the heart, a flirtation, was all well and good, Kitty could not imagine taking that flirtation to the next level while she was still bound to Freddie. As much as she hated him, he was her husband and adultery simply wasn’t part of her moral constitution. However, she had seen in Jack’s eyes that friendship wasn’t all he was offering. It was in that fragile kiss. In those molten eyes. No, he wanted her as a man wants a woman, she was certain of it. He desired her body and wanted her in his bed. His seduction—oh, he might try to deny it—was subtle, skilled and very effective. She had been aware of it from the moment they met but hadn’t been able to fight it. For God help her, she wanted to be in his bed.

  How long might he pursue her in that oh-so subtle seduction before moving on to more promising pastures? She eyed the groups of willing women across the gallery. Not long, she supposed, when it was apparently so easy for him to find another lover. He wasn’t going to tag along after her for any protracted length of time. He would move on to more promising pastures. She knew the target was of little importance to him. From all that Abby had ever written, one woman was much like another to Jack Merrill.

  Ugh! She didn’t want that to be true! She wanted to be unique to him. Irreplaceable, not just an easily exchangeable body. Kitty wanted his seduction of her to be focused on her because he wanted her individual person. Kitty Hayes, specifically. Just the thought of him bedding another woman to satisfy his general lust was enough to set her blood boiling and teeth grinding.

  Well, if he wasn’t patient enough to wait then she needed nothing to do with him, she decided. If he couldn’t be patient then so be it! Let him shag whom he wanted. Let him vent his generic lust on whatever body was available! Once her marriage was dissolved, there would be any number of men available for her to take for a lover if she wanted. She would find one who desired only her. Who could only be satisfied by her! It needn’t be him at all!

  The lights came up for the intermission and Kitty blinked in surprise against the sudden change in atmosphere. She sat, stunned by her raging thoughts, as the other ladies stood to greet and mingle with the visitors arriving at their box, including the Earl of Haddington, who had finally chosen to make an appearance. Consumed by her new resolve, Kitty determined to give him the cold shoulder and let him see that she cared little for his amorous thoughts and bevy of lovers.

  She turned away from him as he smiled hesitantly across the box while Fiona chatted his ear off with her impressions of Captain Billy. It seemed Jack only spared the girl a brief moment of attention for, within minutes, he was pulling a chair close to Kitty’s side and waiting for her to acknowledge him. Stubbornly, she stared unseeing over the crowd, willing him to go away.

  What is going on here? Jack wondered when she only passed him a cool glance and turned her head away. He’d had a surprisingly pleasant afternoon with her and her daughter today. He had driven her to her confession, true, but knowing what he did of her didn’t feel that she would hold that against him. Indeed, he rather thought she would feel the need to apologize for dismissing him so abruptly. It was her way. More likely she was embarrassed to have confessed so much to him, but surely, she understood he cared about her.

  Surprising in that after a few days’ acquaintance he wanted only more of her company rather than less of it. Granted, she was a stunning lass and he was intensely attracted to her, but that wasn’t all. She was merry, quick to smile, despite all that she had been served at the hands of her husband. Her agile mind kept his attention focused as much as her lush body kept his blood hot with want.

  Damn, but he liked the lass, he admitted to himself once more. It was a rare thing, this actual liking of a female, but he did. And he had thought she liked him as well, but this cold shoulder she was giving him was more akin to Evelyn than to Kitty. Ah, that was probably it! Eve had decided to come along and left Kitty at home. “Uh, Evelyn?”

  She turned and leveled him with a frigid look. “No, you dolt. Can’t you tell us apart by now?”

  Jack was a bit taken aback by her cold tone. “I thought I could. My apologies, Kitty, I did think it was you, but when I wasn’t greeted with your customary smile, I assumed I must be mistaken.” When she offered nothing further, Jack reached out once more, trying to break the mysterious ice that surrounded her. “Are you enjoying the opera, lass?”

  “Were it not for your presence here, I’m sure I would be having a grand time,” she snapped in annoyance.

  That much was true anyway. Kitty loved the opera and had missed the whole of Captain Billy because of her overwhelming awareness of him, whom he was with and what he had been doing. That alone was enough to take her irritation to the next level.

  Confused, Jack plowed on smoothly, “I am having a grand time simply being in your presence, my love.”

  “Why don’t you just go away?” she hissed without looking at him.

  Jack’s confusion cleared as quickly as a spring rain and he laughed aloud throwing back his head, unaware of the heads that turned to watch their interplay. “I see what you are doing. You are your sister this evening so of course you treat me with disdain as is Evelyn’s habit. She likes me on the inside though, you do know that?”

  “My current disdain for you has nothing to do with my sister, it has to do with you.”

  She gathered her anger about her, lest his charm and humor chisel through the irritation that had built over the last hour. She wouldn’t be the girl making a cake of herself for whatever crumbs of attention he might cast her way. No, he had spent the entire first part of the opera over there rather than with her and that told her clearly how much she mattered to his fickle attentions.

  “You’re upset about this afternoon? I did not mean to distress you.”

  “I do not need or desire your company, Jack.”

  “Then leave,” he snapped back, her prickly demeanor finally getting the best of him.

  “Fine,” she bit out, and rose gracefully to her feet, gathering her reticule while her party looked on curiously, though they nodded when she told them she just needed a moment of privacy. Moira offered to accompany her, but Kitty shook her head since the curtain was coming up for the main performance, their visitors departing now as the lights dimmed.

  “Are you all right, Kitty?” Abby asked with some concern as she made her way to the back of the box where Abby lingered on Richard’s arm.

  “I’m fine, Abby,” she assured her softly. “I just need a moment.”

  Leaving her friend behind, she ducked by
the heavy curtains at the back of the box. The hall was now nearly empty. With a heavy sigh, she leaned back against the wall next to the door and pressed her palms against the wall while trying to calm the turmoil of emotions churning inside of her.

  Damn, Jack Merrill! How was she to avoid him when he knew nothing of her inner struggles? When he couldn’t comprehend how she was vacillating between wanting his friendship and wanting him in her bed? When she was so struck by jealousy she couldn’t even see straight? He knew nothing about it! He hadn’t changed a thing regarding his behavior to her and yet she snapped his head clean off because of her own issues and uncertainties. It was most unlike her! She needed to get away and clear her head.

  “What was that all about?” Jack growled as he came into the hallway as well, closing the door to the box firmly behind him. She should have known that he would be unable to just let her leave even when he had told her to. “You don’t desire my presence now? My attentions? What am I now, my love? Just a bloody shoulder to cry on?”

  That was enough to set her blood back up to boiling point as she gawked at him in disbelief. “I didn’t ask for any of that, Jack Merrill! You came into my home and prodded me into confessing secrets I haven’t even told my own sister, I didn’t ask you for that, I humiliated myself by bawling all over you,” She poked his chest, pointedly. “Then you stroll in here, straight from your latest conquest, as if nothing is at all amiss. You might have my secrets, but you don’t know me at all, my love.” These last words were sarcastically drawled as she poked him once more. “You might think that every woman you meet is just dying of love for you, Jack Merrill, but I am not!”

  “Do you truly believe…” he began in astonishment, only to be cut off.

  “Yes, I believe you try to seduce every woman you meet,” she finished loudly, causing heads down the hall to turn in their direction. “Just as you are trying to seduce me.”

  Jack crossed his arms over his wide chest and stared down at her flushed, bonny face. Ah, what a lass this was! How she set him on fire with wanting. He longed for the day when he might take her in his arms and possess her luscious body. “Aye, fine, I’ll admit it, but I seem to be doing a damned poor job of it.”

  “So very poor, you’d be a fool to continue,” she hissed back at him hotly. “So just turn your attentions elsewhere and leave me alone. That shouldn’t be too difficult for you.”

  Jack stared down at her in disbelief, not understanding her irrational anger or what he had done to have it directed at him, but he’d be damned if he hung about after such a curt dismissal. He might be used to calling the shots with his conquests, but he didn’t tread where he wasn’t invited. He was a man, not some bloody hound to trail pitifully after her. He had his pride.

  “You want me to leave you alone? Fine,” he ground out angrily, ire and desire warring inside of him as his blood boiled, “I’ll not bother you any longer, but only if you can deny this.”

  And with only that warning, his head dipped and caught her lips in a fiery kiss that cut off her initial squeal of protest and turned it instantaneously into a moan deep in her throat. Her palms remained flattened against the wall behind her but her head did press up to increase the pressure of the kiss as her lips parted invitingly, rousing a corresponding groan in Jack before he pulled away.

  “Think on that, my love,” he shot back before turning and stalking down the hall, leaving Kitty to stare after him in dumbfounded shock, her fingers pressed to her tingling lips.

  One brief kiss and all her resolve was torn asunder. She’d been a fool to try to deny it and he had called her on it. She was nearly dying of love for him and wanted him in her bed. She only hoped he would not give up on her before she could allow it to happen. She stared at the wall across from her as she waited for her breathing and heartbeat to return to normal.

  It was a long while before she collected herself enough to make her way back into the Glenrothes box. Before she could contain the urge to chase after him and beg him to forgive her for her rash accusations, and to admit that she couldn’t deny the raging desire that burned for him, deep within her. She took her seat, waving aside Moira’s questioning glance and, clasping her hands to still the trembling inside, focused her gaze steadfastly on the stage below.

  But all she saw was the anger churning in Jack’s molten eyes, the grim line of determination his lips had settled into after that shocking kiss. The remainder of the opera was lost to her as much as the first portion.

  Chapter 18

  It was the old New York way…

  the way of people who dreaded scandal more than disease,

  who placed decency above courage,

  and who considered that nothing was more ill-bred than ‘scenes’,

  except the behavior of those who gave rise to them.

  ~ Edith Wharton from The Age of Innocence

  Glenrothes House

  The next morning

  “It seems,” Francis drawled the next morning to the three women seated with him at the breakfast table, “there have been some rumors flying about town recently that I must admit I find most disturbing.”

  “Really?” Eve cast a curious glance to her sister and Moira, who had moved into the house on Carlton Terrace with them the previous day. “What sort of rumors?”

  Glenrothes chewed his bread slowly as he considered the three of them before his gaze settled dispassionately on his toast and jam. “It has been brought to my attention that my new bride has been seen kissing my best friend, not only on our own front steps but at the Royal Theater last evening as well.”

  Kitty spat out the mouthful of food she just forked in her mouth while Eve choked on hers and met her sister’s shocked gaze with one of her own. Moira, the dear girl, could do nothing more than choke on her laughter.

  “According to Lord Roxburghe, whom I had the pleasure of encountering on my morning ride,” he went on smoothly, as if he hadn’t just stunned them all into silence, “I should have known better than to wed again so quickly, if at all. In his words, the old adage ‘marry in haste, repent in leisure’ about sums it up.” He raised a brow calmly to the ladies as he spread jam on his toast, before settling his steady gaze upon his wife. “What say you, wife?”

  After all the rumors and scandal that her brother-in-law had suffered at the hands of his first wife, rumor of a wife’s infidelity would be the very last thing he would find amusing. Kitty was aghast as she stared at him even as her sister ignored her husband to stare back at Kitty with amazement.

  “Francis, I…” Kitty stammered with genuine regret, twisting her napkin in her lap.

  It had been a horrid evening for her. When the curtain had finally dropped on the performance, she had wanted nothing more than to come home and crawl into the depths of her feather bed and sleep for a week, so exhausted was she by the despair and chaos that riddled her mind. But she hadn’t slept a wink. Instead, she had risen with the sun that morning, eyes sandy with fatigue, but apparently that punishment wasn’t enough for the Fates. That disturbing kiss had been witnessed and gossiped upon sufficiently enough to blossom fully and fall ripely into Glenrothes lap before dawn. Misery descended upon her, compounding all else.

  “I’m so sorry!” she cried, waiting for the reprimand she clearly deserved.

  “You kissed him?” Eve finally choked out. “Haddington?”

  The disgust in Eve’s voice was much greater than the shock she expected. It seemed her sister wasn’t appalled so much by the fact Kitty had kissed a man in public, when she was supposed to be posing as Eve, as she was that Kitty had kissed Jack. She could almost see the eewww! forming on Eve’s lips. It might have been amusing if she hadn’t been so worried about the damage she had inadvertently caused to her sister’s reputation. As it was, Moira was nearly choking trying to contain her amusement.

  “Perhaps I might draw your attention more definitively to the other pertinent detail, my Eden,” Francis cut in, drawing Eve’s attention back to him. “Rumors a
re abounding this morning that you are having an affair with Haddington. Such rumors will bring still more scandal down on both of us, especially if I continue to receive my friend in this house.”

  “Perhaps we can simply stop receiving him?” Eve asked hopefully, and for a moment Kitty could almost see a bit of humor in the situation.

  To her surprise, the earl sat back with a chuckle. “I’m afraid not.” He reached out and took her hand, raising it to his lips before turning to Kitty. “What say you then, sister?”

  “Francis, I am so incredibly sorry! I never meant…”

  “Nay!” He waved his hand, dismissing her regrets. “I do not want or need your apologies, dear lass. I am more curious what relationship you are developing with Jack that he would kiss you in public, as I am very certain of my wife’s devotion and fidelity.”

  “You are not worried about the scandal?” she asked in disbelief.

  “Scandals come and scandals go. My family has a tendency to be at the heart of many of them. Eve and I created more talk than you can imagine when we wed. I must say, though,” he added archly, as if a new thought had just occurred to him, “it doesn’t speak well to my more amorous skills if my newly wedded wife is already seeking another lover.”

  Eve blushed while Moira set off in gales of laughter.

  Leaning closer to her husband, Eve whispered something in Francis’s ear the other two women couldn’t hear, but the look that came over his face, combined with Eve’s increased blush, spoke volumes. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her as tenderly as Kitty had ever imagined a man might embrace a woman. Her chest squeezed with feeling.

  Turning back to his guests, Francis beamed from ear to ear. “Ah, I’ve just learned that my skills as a lover are no longer to be doubted! It seems my lovely bride is to bear the fruit of our labors!”