by Tiya Rayne
“Why would you think they are bad people?”
“Why else would you lie about them?”
I stutter out a response. “I… didn’t lie.” Even I could hear how lame that excuse was.
Peyton looks at me with her eyebrows raised and head tilted to the side, the same way her father use to do when I’d say something crazy.
“A lie by omission is still a lie, mommy.”
Where the hell did she hear that from? She has to stop watching those grown up shows with Maria.
With a heavy sigh I reply. “You’re right.” I rake a hand through my hair pushing my wild curls behind my ear. “Look, Peyton,” I say placing my hands on her shoulders and meeting her hazel eyes. “My family isn’t bad. They are good people.”
“So why did you leave them?”
“We had a disagreement and we could never work it out. But that is my problem. I don’t want you worrying about that. I want you to enjoy this time getting to know your grandparents, aunts and uncles. Can you do that for me?”
She smiles, showing the replica of my dimples. “Yes, Mommy!”
I place a kiss on her head then let her go to turn back to my shopping.
“Umm, Mommy.” Peyton calls out hesitantly. “Since you want me to give Grandma Vanessa a chance, can we start by letting her buy the cereal? I really hate that kind.” She points to the off brand cereal in my buggy.
As much as I hate to relent, I give my daughter this one thing.
“Ok! You can go tell her that she can buy the grocery. But only a few things, Peyton.” My daughter is already rushing towards my mom with the good news.
My mom is overly excited about shopping. “Oh this is going to be great, Peyton.” She announces as she comes to take the shopping cart from me. “We’ll put back those horrible cereal and then you and I will get some real shopping done. Have your mother ever made you my famous rainbow pancakes?”
“No!”
My mother gasp as if I’ve just committed the greatest crime against humanity. “Well, Grandma Vanessa is going to make them for you.”
Seeing my mother interact so lovingly towards Peyton has my emotions all over the place. I suddenly feel a little too hot to be trapped inside this grocery store.
“Mama I have to run next door to the drugstore. I’ll be back.”
Mama nods as she ushers Peyton to the next aisle telling her of all the things they are going to bake. I quickly make my exit out of the grocery store. In my hurry, I nearly collide with a wall. At least I thought it was a wall.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
Even after eight long years I can pick that voice out of a room full of people. I look up into the hazel eyes of the man that owns my heart and……nothing. I say absolutely nothing. Apparently my brain has ran out of oxygen and decided to quit it’s day job. My Lord this man is fine. Brown stubble coats his chin and jaw. His skin looks to have darkened a shade or two giving it a warm golden bronze. His hair isn’t as long as when he was in High School, but he is still my Luke.
“Zora?” I notice he says my name like a question. As if he is questioning his own sanity.
My mouth moves but nothing comes out. Never in a thousand years would I think I would run into Luke Trent. I mean, yes I know this is Luke’s hometown too, but I assumed he was living his life out in California.
I finally coerce my brain to come back off break and respond. “Hi Luke!”
Admittedly, I’m not looking my best. I not too long came off of a 20 hour bus trip. My twist out has probably seen better days and I won’t even think about what I must smell like. Of all the times to run into Luke, this is the worse.
“Zora.” This time when he says my name it comes out in a whisper. “You’re…. Wow… You look….”
I look down at myself, my scuffed up ballerina flats, worn skinny jeans, and faded off the shoulder top looks even more cheap than before. I pull at one of my springy curls, stretching it out to the center of my chest and then letting it spring back up to over my shoulders.
Shrinkage is a bitch!
“Yeah….. it was a long…”
Before I could finish my excuse as to why I looked a hot mess, the words beautiful leaves his mouth and I’m stunned into silence again. I would have called him a liar if I didn’t watch his eyes rake over my body in slow succession. The hazel orbs start at my face and moves down taking in each feature as if he had never seen it before. By the time he looks back up to my face, I’m pretty sure he could recall in full detail every part of my body.
“Are you done?” I ask jokingly. Our old relationship coming back as easily as it started 20 years ago. “I could always turn around.”
His deep chuckle erupts into the night like fireworks lighting up the sky and my heart. Once the quiet surrounds us again I find myself staring back at him. It isn’t until someone walks in between us that we realize we are standing in the door of Kroger.
“It’s been awhile.” He finally says. “How’ve you been?”
Lonely, stressed, hurting, missing you. I had quite a few things I could say that was more accurate than what I chose to reply.
“Good. How about you, Mr. Heisman winner and Super bowl cahmp?” I’m trying to go for casual, but I’m not sure if it’s coming off that way. Lord knows my hands are sweating so bad I have to slyly wipe them on my pants leg.
“I’m good.” He replies and once again we are stuck in silence.
I won’t call the mood awkward, I mean it is very awkward, but there is so much packed in between us. From the first time I met Luke I felt this pull towards him. It’s an inner connection that made us fast friends that remained all through our school years. At the time, neither of us knew what that powerful draw was, but now I know it is our souls connecting. Seeing him again, though awkward, gives me the peace that I have missed for far too long. I wish seeing him again would change things. I wish that this could be the happily ever after to our story, but unfortunately our book is not a romance.
*************
I can’t believe my eyes. I’ve had these episodes before where I’ve thought I saw Zora, and it turned out to be someone else. But this is her. This is my Zora. I’m finally face to face with the girl that broke my heart, and all that stuff I wanted to say to her went out the window. Holy Shit! She is beautiful. I’ve always thought she was gorgeous, but looking at her now is like looking at the hotter older version of my dream girl. I don’t know what I thought she would look like, but it wasn’t this. Her dark ebony skin is flawless. Those chocolate almond shaped eyes are draped with her unbelievably long lashes. And those lips. The most beautiful full lips, and I knew for a fact they were pillowy soft. Some things were a bigger change. Her breasts look fuller and though she has always had a remarkable ass, her hips are wider. There was no mistaking she had put on a little weight, but damn if she didn’t put it in all the right places. Her body had an amazing hourglass shape. Even her hair was different. I was a fan of her long straight hair when we were younger, but seeing it like this—so thick and wild—it fit her so much better.
“You changed your hair.” I point to the black and brown curls.
She looks down bashfully and tugs down on one of the spiral curls. When she lets it go it shoots back up to her shoulder.
“Yeah, you know how crazy I was about my weave.” She laughs briefly giving me a glance of those heart stopping dimples.
I can’t help but laugh with her as I think back. “You remember the time I took you to the lake? I thought you would never talk to me again when I got your hair wet.”
This time she throws her head back and laughs, and for the first time I am saddened by seeing her. I’m sad because I’ve missed these laughs. I had envisioned sharing millions of laughs with her. I had planned my future with this girl. One that I didn’t think was even possible until that rainy day. The day that started our whirlwind relationship. Although I’d been secretly in love with Zora Henderson since first grade, I
didn’t get up the balls to ask her out until fate intervened.
We had only been in school for a week. It was a Tuesday and I had just got out of practice. I stayed later than everyone else in order to ice my shoulder with the trainer. By the time I left, it was pouring down raining, the parking lot was empty except for a few scattered cars, and my busted truck had decided not to start. I had just climbed out the cabin, figuring I was going to have to walk home, when her brand new Lexus pulled up beside me. She let the window down, and her beauty struck me as it always did, leaving me speechless. Her long black hair was on the top of her head in a messy bun. Her face was clear of make-up which was a lot different from other girls at the school. Her full pouty lips stood out with a sheen of some type of gloss. Without even trying, Zora was gorgeous.
“Need a ride, super star?” her lyrical voice called out as she punctuated her sentence with her dimples.
At that point I wanted to kiss my old rust bucket truck, it got me a ride with Zora.
“That would be great.” I turned back to the truck to get my book bag, gym bag, football and my keys before climbing into her car. I tossed my bags at my feet and placed my favorite football in my lap. I always knew Zora was out of my league, but climbing into the heated leather seats of her expensive newer model car had me feeling really inferior. I felt like I was too filthy to touch any of her butterscotch and wood interior. I absently rubbed my hands on my old jeans trying to wipe away the dirty feeling I was having.
She noticed my movements and asked, “Cold?” before adjusting the vents in her car to blow warm air on me.
“Thanks for giving me a ride. I’ll try not to get my sweat all over your nice seats.” I said with a forced laugh.
She cut her eyes over to me briefly before she turned back to the road.
“Don’t worry about it, it’s just a car. I’ve already spilled two lattes in my seat.” She explained with a shrug.
That is what I’ve always loved about Zora. She has always had more than me, hell she’s always had more than most people at our school, but she never rubbed it in anyone’s face. She was humble, and kind, and I knew people with much less that was not.
The car is quiet for a moment, just the soft sound of some R&B song played through the speakers. In order to keep from staring at her like a stalker, or reaching out and touching those wonderful dark chocolate thighs that are exposed by her shorts, I tried to look around her car while keeping my hands busy by spinning my football around in them. The car was fairly clean. Her book bag was on the back seat along with a jacket and her camera bag.
I laughed and once again she glanced over at me.
“What?” She asked sporting a faint smile.
“I was just thinking, this is the first time I’ve ever seen you without a camera either around your neck or in your hands. I always wondered if you slept with that thing.”
She laughed and I got the side view of those breathtaking dimples.
“It’s hard to believe, but occasionally I put the camera down. Although, I can’t say the same about you and that football.” She glanced down at the football in my hands and we both laughed.
“I can’t believe that is the same ball from 3rd grade.” She giggled, but I didn’t join her this time.
“How did you know this was the same football?” I was dumbfounded that she remembered that. My own parents hadn’t even realized that.
She looked uncomfortable for a moment, taking one hand off the wheel to push an imaginary stray hair behind her ear.
“Ummm, the signature.” She stated sheepishly. “It’s the same ball you got when you went to go see your first college football game.”
I looked down at the faded signature of my favorite college player. My uncle had gotten tickets to a University of Eastern Carolina game and decided to take me. It was that day that my dreams of playing football set in. After the game, the quarterback handed me the game ball right after signing it. It had been my greatest treasure up to that point. The fact that Zora remembered that ball made my head spin.
“I can’t believe you remember that.” I laughed.
“How could I not?” Another dimpled smile. “Every show and tell, Luke Trent brought his football.”
“Remember in 4th grade when Bobby Taylor stood up during my show and tell and said he was sick and tired of hearing about my stupid football?” I asked, thinking back to that day fondly.
She chuckled and nodded her head.
“Then you told him to sit down, because if you had to listen to him go on and on about a stupid new toy he brought, that he could listen to me talk about something with meaning.”
That day is the day I fell head over heels in love with Zora. She was always doing little things; like being nice to me, offering smiles whenever she saw me, pretending my filthy clothes didn’t bother her, and even sharing her things with me. However that day, when she came to my defense, I felt so proud. My head could have exploded.
“I hated Bobby Taylor.” She admitted and again laughed.
“And here I thought you were just feeling sorry for the lame kid with the football.” I half joked.
“I never thought you were lame. Cute, but not lame.” Her words were said jokingly, but I didn’t laugh. My throat was dry and my heart was beating so rapidly in my chest I was sure she could hear it.
“You thought I was cute?”
The mood in the car went from playful to serious. I couldn’t turn away from her, I watched her chew on her bottom lip.
“Yeah, I did. I had the biggest crush on you back then.”
Again her words rendered me speechless. I realized we had just pulled up to my beat-up trailer in the middle of the run down trailer park. But not even the sight of my depressing home could have dampened the mood. The girl I secretly loved had just told me she once had a crush on me.
I swallowed and then licked my lips before admitting. “Funny, I had a crush on you too.”
Her head swung to me and we locked eyes for a brief moment before she broke contact. Zora looked down at her lap with a blush that had me wanting to kiss those lips I’d dreamed about for years.
“I guess….” She started shyly playing with the hem of her shirt. “You can say I never really….. grew out of my crush.”
I remember, at the time, thinking I was dreaming. Maybe I had hit my head at practice today and I’m really laid out on the football field in a coma. Even still, I refused to let that moment pass without taking full advantage of the situation.
“Go out with me!” I blurted out the demand like an idiot, but I couldn’t think straight. Before I’d ever dreamed of going to college and playing football or playing for the NFL, I dreamed of the girl that sat beside me that day. Every time I thought of my future she was there. Until this moment, I thought that that dream would be unobtainable. Like hell would I let the opportunity slip away.
She looked up at me stunned and for a brief moment I thought she was going to say no. That she would tell me she was just kidding, but then that smile lit up her face and she said.
“Ok!”
“Shit, this is real.” I pulled off my baseball cap to run my hands through my hair.
Zora laughed at my outburst.
“Do you want my number?” I didn’t even think of asking for it.
“Hell yeah!” I replied.
She reached in the back seat and pulled out one of those expensive smartphones. I handed her my flip phone. She added her number into my phone and I did the same with hers making sure I added my home phone number also. When I handed her phone back to her, I sat in the car and just stared at her for a moment. I was still in shock.
“What?” She smiled bashfully.
“Nothing.” I replied and decided to get out the car before she came to her senses.
“Oh, Luke, wait!” She called out to me. I stopped gathering my things and turned back to her. “Do you need a ride to school tomorrow?”
I’d forgot all about my truck. Even though I would love
to spend more time with Zora, I didn’t want her going out of her way for me.
I grinned. “Don’t worry about it, Darlin’! I’ll have my uncle pick up my truck, it probably just needed a boost.”
She nodded. “Alright then.”
“Thanks for the offer, and thanks again for the ride, Zora. Can I call you tonight?”
“Of course.”
I grabbed my things and quickly got out the car, closing the door behind me. I watched as she backed out of my cracked driveway and didn’t turn away until I could no longer see her tail lights.
“What was that all about, boy?”
I turned to the sound of my dad’s voice. He’d been sitting on our front porch with his best friend, doing what he did best—drinking. I was so wrapped up in Zora I hadn’t even noticed them.
“Nothing.” I said slinging my book bag over my back and heading up the steps to the front door.
“You better be careful with their kind,” Ted, my pop’s best friend said nodding towards the road where Zora had left. His use of the words “their kind” made the hairs on my arm stand up. “They ain’t nothing but a bunch of hustlers and crooks. If you ain’t careful, they will rob you for everything you got.”
Yeah, I’m sure Zora was plotting a way to put our piece of shit trailer in her brand new Lexus. I thought those words, but didn’t waste my breath on Ted. The alcohol and lack of knowledge will only block my words anyway. I slipped into my house, despite the encounter I’d just had with the two idiots on the porch, I was still the happiest man alive. That day started the rest of my life. Once I had the girl of my dreams, I had planned to never let her go.
As the memory starts to fade and I’m brought back to the here and now, I’m reminded that she took my dream away from me. And as much as I want to be angry with her. As much as I want to rub my success in her face and tell her how well I’m doing without her, I can’t.
So instead, I find myself saying, “Do you want to go somewhere and catch up?”
Once again I am rendered just as anxious as I was sitting in her car after I asked her to go out with me. That time she took me out of my misery fairly quickly by saying yes, but this time I could tell by the way her eyes kept glancing back into the grocery store that she was going to say no. It was then that I realized that maybe Zora was seeing someone.