Brogan: Cowboy Pride: The Kavanagh Brothers Book Three

by Ball, Kathleen

  “Oh, no!” Ciara had tried to hide the fact she was crying, but there was no hiding it now. “Brogan, we need to go after her!”

  He squeezed her hand. “She’s going to the barn. She was so happy and now… I’m so sorry, Ciara. Everything that I think is right is wrong, and I had no business trying to help you when I can’t even help myself.” He gave his head a little disparaging shake. “I’m too jaded to be around people.”

  Gemma stood. “You could marry Ciara.” Her pretty eyes were damp. If only she and her husband had never come over to Brogan’s place.

  “As nice as that suggestion sounds,” began Ciara sadly. “Brogan will tell you he has no love to give. He wants to be alone, and I won’t turn his life upside down because of gossip. It was nice to be off the trail for a while, but Orla and I need to push on.” Ciara slipped her hand out of his grasp. She had known they wouldn’t be staying indefinitely, and Brogan wanted nothing to do with her and Orla. He’d been very generous to them, but it was time to go. She stood straight and tall. “Thank you for coming to see us. It was very nice to meet you both.” She hurried from the room. A sob bubbled up, and when she closed the back door, she slid down it and let that sob and the others that followed come.

  She allowed herself a few minutes of crying before she picked herself back up and headed to the wagon. She’d have to take a good many crates out to repack the wagon. The weight needed to be even on all sides, and she had to be sure they were secure and wouldn’t fly around while she drove. It was far too late to wish she’d allowed Brogan to buy the cloaks for them, but wish she did.

  The wind picked up, and leaves drifted down from a few of the trees in a cascade of gold and orange. The rest of their belongings were in the house, and she had no wish to go inside just now. Brogan could take the pies she’d finished and sell them. After all, he had purchased the ingredients to make them. Hopefully he’d make a bit of a profit.

  It was time to get Orla. Ciara’s body tensed. It would be hard, and Orla would hate her. Lord, help me explain so she understands. Help me maintain my dignity when I say goodbye and please keep us safe as we travel.

  Standing outside the barn, she heard Brogan explaining things to her, and he was giving her hope of building a horse ranch for herself. Ciara grit her teeth; there would be no more crying. She stepped inside. “Here you are, Orla. I have the wagon almost ready to go. I still have a few things we brought into the house to pack.” She slightly turned her head to gaze at Brogan but it hurt too much, so she stared at some tack hanging on the wall behind him. “I’m hoping you can sell the pies. I didn’t mean to leave with… I don’t like leaving a job undone.” The catch in her voice wasn’t dignified, but it was the best she could muster. “Thank you.”

  She turned toward her sister. “Orla, it’s time to go.”

  Orla ran to Brogan and wrapped her arms around him. “I’ll miss you forever.” Then she pulled back, turned and ran out of the barn. Ciara followed; she had no words to add.

  They climbed onto their seats. Brogan didn’t say a word; he just stared at her. This time she stared back, wanting to memorize his face. She cared for him, and her heart was tearing. The pain was almost too much to bear. Why had she let her guard down? Her dismay knew no bounds. She turned the horses and drove the wagon. She had the map he’d given her. When she got to the road her tears made rivulets down her face. There would never be another. She never wanted another. There simply couldn’t be another.

  The foolish hope she’d held in her heart that he’d stop them died when they halted to make camp. If he was going to come, he would have by now.

  “Ciara, was he your young man?”

  Taking a deep breath she gazed at Orla. “Now is not the time for anything like that. Brogan is a good friend. It seems unexpected things happened on this trip.”

  “Like Mama and Papa?”

  “Yes, like that, but we made it through then and we’ll make it through now. Let’s get a fire built. It will be a cold night.”

  Later that evening the sound of horse hooves broke the silence. Ciara’s heart leaped, and joy filled her. He was coming to get them after all! She stood and waited by the fire with a smile on her face.

  The rider wasn’t Brogan instead it was John O’Rourke from the general store. “Howdy!” He swung down and tipped his hat to both her and Orla. “I have supplies for you. Brogan was insistent you get them.” John took a big burlap sack off the giant bay along with his saddle bags. He placed the sack on their wagon’s tailgate, and then he unloaded his saddle bags.

  “He wanted you to have this too.” He pulled an envelope from the front pocket of his coat and handed it to her.

  Ciara looked inside and her heart dropped. It was money. She handed it back to John. “Please give this back to him. We were just travelers who happened upon his land, nothing more. Thank him for the supplies. Tell him that when I’m able to, I will pass along his lesson in generosity. It was nice to see you again, John.”

  “Best of luck to you both.” He took his saddle bag and put it on his horse before he mounted up. She watched him ride away.

  Her knees threatened to buckle and she quickly grabbed the tailgate and held on. She hadn’t seen that coming. Her hopes were so crushed, she just stood there unable to think of what to do next. Orla stood next to her and started to put the items away.

  “That was so nice of him, wasn’t it?” Orla smiled.

  “I’m tired. I guess it’s time to go to bed,” Ciara told her as she climbed into the wagon.

  Soon enough Ciara stared at the canvas overhead. Sleep would have been a blessing, but it didn’t seem to be coming. She hated to think of Brogan all alone until she remembered that he could have asked them to stay. He wasn’t interested in a relationship, and he certainly didn’t want her. She’d have to marry once they got to St. Louis. It was insane to think she’d find a job to support them. The weight of her situation dropped on her shoulders, and she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to stand up straight and free again.

  The only thing she had to hold on to was her faith. God was watching and keeping them safe. It had been more than a month since she buried her parents. She’d spent most of the time they traveled after that reassuring Orla. Brogan’s place had given her time to fill her soul again. She’d been right about him. He was a nice man who never intended to allow anyone to get close to him.

  But they had become close, and he must have known she cared for him. Well, he’d gotten his wish to be alone. But he’d also done right by them. The supplies were heaven sent, and she was grateful.

  A shiver rippled through her. Brr, it was cold. She snuggled closer to Orla and felt warmer. She needed to rest. She needed to fall asleep.

  * * *

  Brogan thought he’d be alone with the women gone, but it was quite the opposite. His brothers Sullivan and Donnell had taken it upon themselves to help him. He didn’t need help. He wanted to work so hard and long that he’d fall asleep without thoughts of Ciara crowding his mind. He tried ordering them off the ranch, but they refused to go. He told them he had no brothers, and they ignored him.

  Now he was reluctantly going to the Kavanagh ranch by order of Dolly. She had helped to raise them all, and with his parents dead, she was more of a mother to him. If Dolly wanted him to eat with the family, he’d go. It wouldn’t bury the hurt that haunted his every day. The feeling of being betrayed would never leave.

  He slowed Prince to a walk. The ranch land was in sight, and he needed a moment. He didn’t want to talk about who his parents were. Didn’t even want to think of them. His feelings were still too raw. Then the house came into view, and he winced. You’d think it was a Sunday with everyone looking nice and hanging around the front porch. The beautiful blonde must be Quinn’s wife. He’d missed a lot. Sullivan had told Brogan about her.

  He swung down, and the youngest brother, Shea hugged him and took the horse to the barn. He said nothing. What was he supposed to say? They would never understand
anyway.

  Dolly raced down the steps and hugged him tight as she laughed and cried. “My boy. Brogan, I missed you something awful.” She took a step back. “Let me see you. What a handsome man you are!”

  He grinned at her. He’d been gone months, not years. “I’ve missed you too, Dolly. Now I understand just how hard the work is you do. Laundry was the worst.”

  She laughed and took his hand then guided him up the stairs where he was hugged by Murphy, Fitzpatrick, Angus, and Rafferty. Gemma gave him a kiss on his cheek, and then Quinn squeezed the air out of him. He felt too stiff to hug them back.

  “I’d like you to meet my wife Heaven and our children.” Quinn’s smile was the proudest he’d ever seen.

  Heaven hugged him quickly. “This is Tim, Daisy, and Owen.”

  Brogan cocked his brow at Quinn for a second. “It’s a pleasure to meet you all. Tim, don’t let them work you too hard. Daisy, you are a delight. Owen, I bet Dolly just can’t wait to get her hands on you each day.”

  “I’m a de… I’m a light,” Daisy proudly informed everyone. She signaled with her finger for Brogan to bend down close and before he knew it she’d kissed his cheek. It was by far the most surprising and sweetest kiss of his life.

  “Thank you, Daisy. Your kiss put a bit of joy in my heart. Very magical.”

  Daisy smiled widely and took his hand. “You can sit next to me.”

  “I thought it was my turn to sit next to you, Daisy,” Donnell protested.

  She giggled, but her attention remained on Brogan. “What games do you like to play? I like tag the best.”

  Tim took his other hand. “Do you fish? Fishing is my favorite.

  Quinn was blessed. It was funny, because the last time he’d seen Quinn, his brother had hated women and now he had a wife and family.

  They all took seats around the big dining table, and the women brought in the food. Teagan whispered something to Gemma, and she blushed.

  They all held hands and Dolly thanked the Lord for bringing back all her lost lambs.

  Brogan was mostly quiet during supper. He didn’t want to be here. They never understood how hard it had been for him growing up.

  “Unca Bro, can we see the lambs?” Daisy asked.

  “I think you need to ask your pa.”

  She tilted her head. “You mean Dada?”

  Brogan exchanged a smile with Quinn. “I mean Dada.”

  “It’s good to see you smiling,” Sullivan commented.

  “I smile.”

  “Nope.”

  “Nope,” Donnell echoed.

  “Y’all need to see the horses Brogan has,” Teagan told them. “He has a good eye for horseflesh, and he’s great with them. Well, we already knew he had a knack for horses, but he’s done a job he can be proud of.”

  Teagan’s words chiseled away a piece of Brogan’s frozen heart. No one had ever said they were proud of him before.

  It had already been getting too sappy and uncomfortable in the house, and now the brother he looked up to the most had said he was proud.

  “Horsies like me too,” Daisy announced and then stared at Teagan. She started to stand up on her chair when Brogan took her and put her on his lap. She still stared at Teagan.

  “Horsies do like you, Daisy. But we do remember that horses can be dangerous, right?”

  She shook her head, her blond curls bobbing up and down.

  “Daddy takes me with him. I ride on the horse with him,” Tim boasted.

  “That’s why being the big brother is good. You’re first in line,” Brogan told him.

  Teagan studied him, a thoughtful expression on his face, and Brogan immediately felt bad. “Teagan, I meant nothing by it. I got to ride before Sullivan and the other youngsters.”

  “If anyone should feel bad, it should be me. I had to wait until all of you wore our father out before I got a turn.” Shae chuckled as he nodded his head.

  Rafferty reached over and patted Shea’s shoulder. “Poor baby.”

  After the plates had been cleared, Fitzpatrick and Angus volunteered to take the kids outside. Coffee was poured for the rest.

  “Can I count on you for supper from now on?” Dolly asked Brogan.

  He stiffened. When had one supper turned into all suppers? “I’m afraid not, Dolly. I can’t make any promises.”

  She gave him an understanding smile. “But I can come there with food, can’t I?” Her eyes widened as she stared at him.

  “Sure, but I’m not there often. I’m out working with the horses. I have a few pregnant mares close to the barn, so don’t anyone ride them.” He turned his gaze on Quinn. “And I don’t babysit, just so you know.” He smiled what he hoped looked like a normal smile. Why wouldn’t anyone let him be?

  “Now, we must talk about the two women that lived with you. Your reputation has taken a bit of a downturn. Those poor women. You should have sent them to us,” Dolly gently lectured.

  He gaped at her and ran his fingers through his hair. “What exactly does a downturn mean?”

  “Scoundrel and cad are being bandied around.”

  “That’s just ridiculous. I did nothing wrong.” He offered a half-hearted shrug. “Don’t worry, it’ll all die down.”

  Dolly looked skeptical. “Perhaps you’re right. I just hope those poor girls aren’t freezing to death.”

  Sullivan gave a slight nod in Dolly’s direction. “It has been unseasonably cold out. I’m hoping it gets warmer for their sake.”

  Brogan’s heart dropped. He’d sent supplies, but what good were supplies when people were freezing? He should have insisted that they stay or, like Dolly had said, he should’ve sent them over to the ranch. Why had he let them go? He’d missed Orla milking cows with him.

  “I was thinking about that too. Ciara is very independent. I don’t think she’d turn around and come back, even if I asked.” He ran his hand over his jaw.

  Gemma stood up and walked to Brogan. She put her hand lightly on the shoulder, and at her touch he gazed up at her. “Ciara cares for you. You didn’t know that?”

  “Sure, we got along, but that was the extent of it. No matter what, her plan is to go to St. Louis.”

  “If St. Louis is her dream, I hope they get there safely. It was nice of you to take them in.” She let her hand drop and then sat back down next to her husband.

  There was a long silence, and Brogan felt the need to squirm. He pushed back from the table and nodded to them all. “I need to get going. I have horses that need my attention.” He stopped next to Dolly and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  It felt strange to leave, knowing he was going to his own place. He still couldn’t get over the fact that Quinn was married and had three kids. He wanted to know the whole story, but if Quinn wanted him to know he’d tell him at some point.

  The moon was bright as he rode home, and only Prince’s footfalls broke the hush of the night. Ciara would be looking at the same moon. How far in their journey would they be? Part of him wanted to say just forget it, and another part of him desperately wanted to go after them.

  “Tarnation,” he muttered as he reached home and reined Prince in.

  He tied the horse to the hitching post in front of his house and hurried inside. This wasn’t about what he wanted or didn’t want. This was about them being safe and not freezing. He packed a few supplies and left a note on the table if anyone from the Kavanagh ranch came by. He went out and mounted Prince.

  “I think we can make a good start. That moon is sure is bright, so we should be able to see at least for a few more hours.”

  Chapter Ten

  Orla and Ciara stood off to the side of the wagon, both wearing hopeless frowns. It had never occurred to Ciara that she’d need to know how to fix a wagon wheel. There’d been people on the wagon train that fixed wheels for others. Tears filled her eyes as she stared at the broken wheel.

  She’d need to fix it and fast.

  “That was the biggest rock ever. How could you not
have seen it?” Orla crossed her arms in front of her and made a tsking noise.

  “I have no idea, Orla, I just didn’t see it. I hadn’t been taking proper care of the wagon while it was sitting on Brogan’s place. I should’ve known better, and I’m sorry. Oh honey, I just don’t know what to do. Even if I knew how to fix or make a wheel, we wouldn’t be able to lift the wagon to put the new wheel on.” Ciara sank to the ground and looked up into the sky. Please, Lord show me the way. Keep Orla safe. Thank you, God.

  “We could leave the wagon and take the two horses and ride them. We’re almost there, aren’t we?” Orla sounded hopeful.

  It was just as well she didn’t know how dire their circumstances were. Maybe Orla was right, they could put some supplies on the horses and make their way back but instead of going to Brogan’s they could go just a little farther and talk to Gemma. She seemed like a very nice woman, and she probably had good advice, at least Ciara hoped so. This whole trip from the very start had been doomed. Her pa had only wanted a better life for them, and now he and Mama were dead. If she didn’t do something, if she didn’t decide, she and Orla would be dead too.

  “Orla, that was a great idea you had. I think we can put some supplies into smaller bags so we could load them up on the horses and make our way back the way we came.”

  Orla jumped up and down. “I knew we’d see Brogan again! I just knew it.”

  Ciara stood and went to the back of the wagon to see how to best consolidate what they would need. She had enough small flour sacks to pour supplies such as flour, sugar, and cornmeal each into their own sacks, and she would sew them up. She’d have to sew the bigger bags to keep the bugs out. They’d need water and everything they had that would keep them warm. Her heart sank. They didn’t have saddles for the horses, and that was a big concern.

  It took a bit of doing but Ciara had everything set to go. “Orla, could you please tell these two horses to be gentle? Explain to them we don’t have saddles and I don’t want to end up on the ground.”