Guts & Glory: Brick (In the Shadows Security Book 6)

by Jeanne St. James

  Steel gave him a cocky grin.

  “He gets off on his woman kicking his ass every fucking night,” Hunter said with his own grin. “Fucked up foreplay.”

  Steel shrugged. “Don’t be a hater.”

  “I’ll take soft over hard any day,” Walker said under his breath.

  “That’s not what Ellie told me,” Steel said, his toothpick bouncing from one corner of his mouth to the other.

  “Shame havin’ a woman in your bed who actually likes you hasn’t changed you from bein’ an asshole,” Ryder said.

  “We’re all assholes,” Steel reminded him.

  “Won’t fuckin’ argue that.” Diesel shook his head and lumbered away, leaving them to get back to their game.

  “Whose turn was it to bet?” Walker asked.

  “Yours,” Mercy grunted.

  “I call.” Walker tossed a couple chips into the center pile, then shot a look at Mercy who gave him the slightest chin lift.

  What the fuck was that about?

  But it was Steel who asked Mercy, “Now that the assignment’s complete, Londyn going back to New York?”

  Mercy’s scarred face twisted, making his face scarier than ever. “Fuck no. I swear we ain’t ever gonna scrape her the fuck off.” He grabbed the bottle of Jack sitting in the middle of the table and filled his lowball glass halfway. He downed it, wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and said, “Only hope I got is if she finds another man online and moves across the country again. Hopefully to California. Or Australia. Know any Aussies?”

  Brick’s ears perked up.

  Ryder stole the question right out of his mouth before he could ask it. “She’s lookin’ online again? She didn’t learn her lesson the last fuckin’ time?”

  “Guess not.”

  Steel elbowed Brick. “You should’ve given her some pointers during that month you spent together. Swipe right, wrap it tight and escape in the middle of the night. Keep it simple, right?” He sat back in his chair and grinned.

  “Right,” Brick growled.

  “Rissa wants her to stay in the Valley. Don’t give a shit where she lands, long as it’s not in my house.”

  “The Sergeant Major still finding it hard to launch his missile with her in the next room?” Steel’s toothpick bounced up and down as he smirked.

  “I’m not missing hearing that shit since I live next door,” Walker griped and took a long pull from his beer.

  “That’s one good thing ‘bout winter, y’all keepin’ your windows fuckin’ closed,” Ryder said, the smoke from his cigar rising in a thin white line toward the dark ceiling of the warehouse.

  “Like you and Kelsea don’t make your own fucking ruckus,” Walker growled. “Damn, I’m in the fucking middle and some nights it’s like hearing it in stereo. How many headboards have you two broken?”

  As Ryder opened his mouth, Mercy interrupted him. “Any-fucking-way, she must’ve learned some hookup pointers from dickhead since she’s got a date tonight. Thank fuck.”

  Brick didn’t miss all eyes landing on him. He picked up his beer and took a long swallow. And then another. Once the brew cooled off the burn in his gut, he wiped his mouth and said, “Can we get back to this fucking game and stop chatting like a bunch of women? If I wanted that shit, I’d have worn a dress and gone to Frankie’s baby shower.” Exactly where Londyn should be, not on a fucking date with a stranger.

  Steel grunted his agreement, but when Brick glanced at him, he noticed the man had his head down and wore a sly smile.

  Fuck them all for fucking with him.

  But for the rest of the night he couldn’t concentrate on poker. So much so, he lost all his fucking money and Steel had to spot him a fifty.

  Instead of the game, all he could concentrate on was the fact that Londyn had a goddamn date.

  And if she used a hookup app, it could be just for sex.

  Thinking about someone else lying between her soft thighs, someone else sinking into her wet heat, some asshole having her lips around his cock, some bastard spanking her fucking ass while watching it ripple with each smack and then turn red...

  Fuck no.

  Just fuck no.

  Sleeping next to her had become a strange addiction. Surprisingly, something he’d gotten used to. Comfortable with.

  In Florida it had become expected, a habit.

  Since returning to Shadow Valley, something had been missing.

  It was Londyn in his bed. By his side.

  No, it was more than her just being in his bed.

  So much fucking more.

  She was so much fucking more.

  He couldn’t let her date other men. He couldn’t let other men touch her.

  She couldn’t make cookies without dead grapes for anyone but him.

  Nobody else could eat raw brownie batter off her body but him.

  She was his.

  Fuck the promise.

  Fuck the secret.

  Fuck breathing.

  Because if he couldn’t have Londyn, he didn’t want to breathe.

  He shot up from his seat, almost knocking everything off the wobbly, second-hand poker table. “I fucked Londyn,” he shouted and winced when it echoed through the cavernous warehouse.

  Dead silence around the table greeted him.

  His heart thumped furiously in his chest as he slowly turned to face Mercy at the end of the table. His asshole might have even puckered a little.

  The man’s chin was tipped down and his silver eyes bore into him. “You think I don’t know that, dumbass?”

  “I didn’t mean to. It just happened,” he said quickly.

  “Yeah, right. Oops, my fucking dick accidentally slipped into your future sister-in-law,” Steel said with a smothered chuckle.

  Brick shot him a frown before facing Mercy again.

  “You promised me you wouldn’t touch her and you broke that fucking promise. Which means you broke my trust, brother.”

  Brick filled his lungs with air and then choked when he inhaled cigar smoke.

  “I’m thinkin’ this poker game’s over,” Ryder mumbled, grounding out his cigar into an ashtray.

  “I’m thinking Brick’s life might be over,” Walker said, counting his chips stacked in front of him. “Anyone wanna make a bet on that?”

  “Yeah? Well, fuck it. It was worth it,” Brick said.

  “Was it?” Mercy growled, rising to his feet and jabbing a finger in his direction. “Is it you who has her fucking moping like a kicked puppy around your house? Fuck no. I knew that shit would happen if you stuck your dick in her. I was right because I’m always fucking right. Bad enough that asshole fucked with her head. Then you had to follow up and fuck with it some more. Somehow I got stuck dealing with it all. I got all the fucking headaches without getting the fucking benefit.”

  “What did you expect when we had to live together for a fucking month?”

  “I expected you to keep your dick in your pants. I expected you to keep your fucking word.”

  “You’re only as good as your word,” Steel mumbled under his breath.

  Brick twisted his head toward Steel and shot him a glare. “This shit isn’t funny.”

  Steel lifted his palms and pressed his lips together.

  “No, what’s funny is, Mercy expected Brick to keep his dick in his pants,” Hunter muttered next to him, also rising to his feet. “So really, it’s not Brick’s fuck up, but Mercy’s.”

  “Did you fuck her because she reminded you of Rissa?” Mercy asked, his voice as sharp as broken glass.

  A whole lot of groans and “oh fucks” circled the table and everyone was now on their feet. Though, Brick managed to contain his “oh fuck.” Barely.

  “Brother,” Ryder murmured to Mercy, reaching out for him.

  Mercy jerked his arm away, his ice-cold eyes not leaving Brick. “Answer.”

  Brick pulled his shoulders back, inhaled a deep breath and cocked his head to the left and then to the right, flexing his neck. “Is t
hat an order, Sarge?”

  “That’s a fucking order.”

  “No. I didn’t fuck her because of that.”

  “Because you were bored? Because she was convenient?”

  “No.”

  “Then why?”

  Brick’s nostrils flared as he sucked in another breath and as his world teetered before him, he tried to explain. And, fuck him, if he wasn’t forced to admit things he didn’t want to think about. Forced to see what he’d tried to ignore.

  And at the end of it all, he survived to live another day, with a now empty wallet, and the truth striking him directly between the eyes like the kill shot that took out Kramer...

  That truth being, he’d messed up not by fucking Londyn, but by letting her walk away.

  Londyn swung her gaze from the new-to-her Lexus minivan in the driveway back to the door as she knocked again. Yes, Mercy probably thought it was funny that she’d be driving a minivan, simultaneously being generous but also sticking it to her at the same time.

  Well, the last laugh was on him. Because here she was, standing on Brick’s doorstep, with plans on being in Mercy’s life forever.

  Living close enough to visit Parris all the time. Being close enough to sit at his table for Christmas dinner. And Easter. And Thanksgiving. And bringing a damn crockpot full of pork and sauerkraut over to ring in the new year.

  Even better, being close enough to drop her future kids off for them to babysit.

  She huffed out a breath, wiped her damp palms down her snug black pencil skirt, wiggled her aching toes in her obscenely high red heels and ran a hand over her perfectly styled hair.

  It was too bad the weather was cold and she had to don a coat, otherwise she’d be able to show off her cleavage, which was framed perfectly by the red, deep V-neck angora sweater she had squeezed into.

  The man would see it, just not right away... As long as he didn’t slam the door in her face.

  Her heart pounded a crazy beat as she heard footsteps, a pause, a longer pause, an even longer pause and a muffled curse before the door swung open.

  She dropped her gaze from his mouth, which was sagging open to the beer hooked between two fingers. She snagged it, downed the remainder, not caring if it had his backwash, and then tossed the empty bottle over her shoulder into the yard behind her.

  His eyes followed the arc of the bottle’s path until it thumped in the dead grass, then swung back to her.

  She planted her hands on her hips and announced, “I want a divorce.”

  His gaped mouth snapped shut and his eyebrows pinned together. “We aren’t even fucking married!”

  “Then why does it feel like we are and I can’t move forward until we get a divorce.”

  Brick shook his head. “You’re crazy.”

  “I must be. It’s the only good excuse for why I’m here.”

  His blue eyes narrowed and his jaw shifted like he was grinding his molars as he raked his gaze from her loose hair, over her faux fur coat and then he took his time letting it slide over her skirt before settling on her shoes. The ones he insisted she wore in bed that one night. “I thought you had a date.”

  So, Mercy had set the bait. “I do.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. “Are you that dense?”

  Didn’t he realize the date was him?

  His lips twitched as he grabbed her wrist and yanked her inside, almost pulling her off her feet. He peered out over her shoulder toward the driveway. “Why is there a minivan parked out there? Fuuuck. Is that the mom mobile Mercy bought? Is he here with you?”

  “What? No.” She sighed. “Close the door, Ramsey W.—whatever that stands for—Briggs.”

  “Damn. You used my full name. Am I in trouble?”

  “Do you want to be?”

  He tilted his head and smirked. “Depends on the trouble.” He reached behind her, slammed the door shut and twisted the lock. “Will your skirt slide up?”

  “Over these hips? Nope, that would be a miracle. But that’s not why I’m here.”

  “It isn’t?”

  “Okay, it is, but we need to talk first.”

  Brick groaned.

  She opened her coat and slipped it off her shoulders.

  He pursed his lips at the bounty she just revealed. “Okay, we can talk first.”

  “That’s what I thought.”

  “You know how to bring out the big guns.”

  “If anyone knows about guns, it’s you.” With a hand to his chest, she pushed him out of the way and headed into his open concept living room which clearly proved his place was a bachelor pad. Black leather sectional, enormous flat screen hanging from the wall and large speakers flanking it. A video game console sat in the center of the coffee table with a stack of what looked like shoot-em-up war games.

  Empty beer bottles riddled the room as well as dirty cups, open snack bags, a pizza box with one slice of pizza remaining, and free weights scattered on the floor. Londyn imagined him curling a dumbbell in one hand while lifting a piece of pizza to his pie hole with the other.

  Holy smokes, he was a pig. She saw no sign of that in Florida. She might have to rethink her plan.

  At the center of the room, she turned on her heels to face him where he was still standing by the front door. She waved her hand around, indicating the trash dump. “Seriously? You bring women here?”

  He didn’t look embarrassed at all. “I don’t give them any reason to stay.”

  Fair enough. “Then I can only imagine what your bathrooms look like.” She cringed. “I can only imagine what your sheets look like. Yuck.”

  He gave her a crooked, but hot as hell, smile. “I change them often.”

  “As often as your women?”

  That smile slipped and slowly turned upside down as he made his way to her. He didn’t stop until he stood toe to toe with her. Until his intense blue eyes held hers. Not letting her go.

  In her heels they were almost eye to eye, but he still had a couple inches on her.

  “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

  “For what?”

  “For being a stupid fuck.”

  “About what?”

  “About us.”

  They were close, but he wasn’t touching her at all. Maybe that was a good thing right now. They had things to work out first.

  Before she could respond, he continued. “But there’s shit I haven’t told you and it’s shit I don’t want spread on you. I didn’t want to dirty you with it. And... and... Fuck.” He closed his eyes and shook his head before opening them again, showing a pain so deep that it even hurt her.

  “So tell me. I can handle it.”

  “There are things I’ll never be able to forget, no matter how hard I try. Things that will haunt me for the rest of my life.”

  She fisted her hand in his T-shirt, the warmth of his skin touching her even through the worn cotton.

  “We need to get one thing out of the way first... Kevin was a piece of shit. He didn’t appreciate you, baby.”

  “And you did?”

  And you did?

  He deserved that.

  “You don’t know how much I fucking appreciated you. How much I appreciate you. And that’s my fault. At the airport, when you asked if we fucked up, I agreed we did. But really, it was me who fucked up. And not because we broke our promises to my brother and your sister. I fucked up by thinking I could just walk away and let you go. That you meant nothing more to me than any other women I’d had in the past. I was wrong. I knew I was wrong. I just didn’t want to admit it.”

  “Are you admitting it now?”

  She was so goddamn beautiful. So smart. So funny. So fucking perfect.

  She had done it. She had slayed him.

  “That day... Christ... I almost lost my mind. It scared the living hell out of me.”

  “The one from your night terrors?”

  “No, the day you almost died, Londyn. That day. If I hadn
’t been able to revive you...” He tried to swallow down the lump, but he couldn’t. Because her blue face, her cold skin, her lifeless eyes... That would haunt him for the rest of his life, just like that day in Pakistan.

  “When you began breathing again. When the life came back to your face, when your heart began to beat again...”

  It was when he was holding her he realized he’d gotten caught up in something he never should have. The mistake he made by allowing it.

  He realized losing her might have destroyed what piece of sanity he had left.

  He realized how invested he’d become in her.

  How much he cared.

  How much he needed her.

  How much he... fucking loved her.

  He never even thought it would be possible.

  It had been hard to wrap his head around it. And, at the time, he didn’t want to.

  But he needed to deal with it now.

  This last week without her had been so fucking empty.

  He never cared about finding what his teammates had found. He thought he could live without it.

  Until it became clear, he couldn’t.

  “I realized that moment... When I pulled you from that fucking pool. When I thought you... when I thought he had taken you from me. When I thought I might have lost you forever...”

  “What?” she whispered, shaking her fistful of his shirt. “What did you realize?”

  He wrapped his fingers around hers, holding her hand against his chest. “You feel that?”

  Her palm flattened over his heart and he knew his heart was beating furiously because he could feel it all the way up his neck.

  “Yes.”

  “That belongs to you.”

  “That’s my trophy.” She tilted her head, and stared up at him with blue eyes that held tears. “Are you going to say it?”

  “Are you?”

  “I love you, Ramsey W.—whatever that stands for—Briggs.”

  “And that’s my trophy.”

  “Why did you make me fall in love with you?”

  He wiped away the single tear that hovered at the corner of her eye. “Because I didn’t promise not to. Why did you make me fall in love with you?”

  He grinned when she echoed, “Because I didn’t promise not to. But you still haven’t said it.”

  “I love you, Londyn...” He whacked his forehead with his palm. “I don’t know the rest of your fucking name.” He groaned. “Fuck me.”