Salt

by David Chambers

  ‘Nothing. I’m fine. Why?’

  ‘Because that’s the fourth time you’ve walked from the bed to the bathroom and you aren’t doing anything when you get in there.’ Dan said.

  ‘I just feel like moving. Emma said walking back to the chair. ‘I can go for a walk outside if its bothering you.’ She paced as she spoke.

  ‘I don’t want you to go outside. I’d like you to come and lie in bed with me or tell me what’s wrong.’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong. I’ve told you that. I just don’t want to be still.’ Emma said still pacing.

  ‘Well come get in bed and we can move around together.’

  ‘I don’t feel like sex.’ She said.

  ‘Ok well what do you feel like doing?’

  ‘I feel like walking. That’s why I’m walking. I’ll go out and get some fresh air.’ Emma said sharply.

  ‘No. I really don’t want you to go outside. It’s pitch black and I don’t want you walking around in the dark alone.’ Dan said.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because all the time you’re out there I’ll be worried wondering when you’re due back and why you aren’t already back. I don’t want you going outside.’

  ‘I’ll be fine. Nobody will be bothering me at this time of night.’ Emma said.

  ‘I don’t want you to go outside. I’ll be worried so you’re staying here. Just tell me what’s wrong.’

  ‘I don’t know. I just know that if I sit still I’ll start thinking and if I start thinking I’ll get upset. So, I want to walk.’

  ‘Upset about what though? Have I done something?’ Dan asked.

  ‘No of course you haven’t done anything. I just get like it sometimes and I don’t know why. It’ll go soon enough, I’m just being silly.’ Emma said.

  ‘No babe, it’s not silly. If something is getting to you then I want to help. I hate it when you’re stressed.’

  ‘I’m not stressed, that’s why I’m walking. If I stop walking I’ll get stressed. That’s why I’m walking.’ Emma said with frustration in her voice.

  ‘Ok but what are you stressed about? If I haven’t done anything then what is it?’

  ‘It’s just stuff my head gets filled with. That’s all. Just stuff.’

  ‘It’s about what happened isn’t it?’ Dan asked.

  ‘What happened when?’ Emma asked.

  ‘You know. What happened with the guy.’

  ‘You mean when I was raped?’ Emma said.

  ‘Yes. I don’t like it being said but yes.’

  ‘Well that’s what happened. I was stupid and I got raped and nothing will change that. There’s no point calling it anything else.’ Emma said stopping to look at Dan.

  ‘I know it won’t change anything but it just sounds so, I don’t know, so aggressive.’

  ‘Well it was aggressive. That’s the point, isn’t it? If it wasn’t aggressive I’d have been able to walk away and not get raped.’ She said.

  ‘Yes. I know I’m sorry. I know it must have been horrible. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. I’m sorry babe, just come here.’

  ‘I don’t want to, I just need to walk. Mentioning it’s fine. It happened and it was horrible. Just sometimes I need to clear my head a little.’

  ‘I know babe, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?’ Dan asked.

  ‘You can let me go for a walk.’ Emma said.

  ‘Ok. I just don’t want you going outside though.’

  ‘It’ll be fine. I’m sorry I snapped. I know you’re being nice and stuff and I’m being a snappy bitch.’

  ‘No you aren’t, you’re upset. Shit. Look will you promise me something?’ Dan asked.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Will you let me use the find my iPhone thing if you go outside and promise to text me if anything slightly bad happens or looks like it will happen?’

  ‘You want to track me?’ She asked.

  ‘I don’t want to but I’ll be on edge all the time you are gone if I don’t. Sorry if that sounds a bit stalkerish.’

  ‘It isn’t really. I just don’t know why you’re so bothered. You can track me if you like. I don’t mind.’ Emma said.

  ‘I’m bothered because I love you and I don’t want to be lay here in bed snoozing while something bad could be happening to you. Let’s set up the apps and then you can go walk.’

  The two changed the settings on their iPhones and Dan checked to see if it worked.

  ‘There you go. I can see you now.’ Dan said.

  ‘Cool. So, you’re ok if I go out for a walk?’ Emma asked.

  ‘Yeah. I can stalk you properly now. Just don’t go too far, do a loop around the road or something like that. Ok?’

  ‘Ok.’ Emma said pulling Dan’s shirt over her head and putting on her bra. She slipped her jeans on and pulled on her socks and shoes. ‘Do you want anything while I’m out?’

  ‘No babe. Just a text if you need me.’ Dan said.

  ‘Ok super stalker. I’ll text.’ Emma walked towards the door.

  ‘Hold on. I want a kiss.’ Dan said.

  ‘You just want everything don’t you?’ Emma said walking over to Dan and bending down to kiss him.

  Dan kissed her and brushed her hip with his fingers as she turned to leave. ‘Enjoy your walk babe.’

  ‘Will do. See you soon.’ She said stepping through the door into the hall.

  Dan lay back down on the bed. He thought about getting dressed and waiting but he knew when Emma came back she would think he had taken it a little far. He decided to put his socks and underwear on though so getting dressed wouldn’t take too long.

  He hadn’t been like this with girls before and he didn’t know why he was with Emma. She was the only woman he had ever loved. He thought he’d loved girls before but if this was really what love is then she was the only one. Dan closed his eyes. He knew nothing would happen to her really but it was always at the back of his mind, the streets were lit and Oxford was hardly the crime capital of the world but he just couldn’t shake the bad thoughts from his mind.

  It could be her rape had made him more aware of her vulnerability. Rape only happened to other people but now he loved one of those other people.

  He pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, blocking out the last traces of light leaking through his eye lids. He lay there in complete blackness and silence. His mind free from external distractions, he realised that one thing had made him feel like this and had made her need the walk in the first place. He could hear the voice again. Taunting him and laughing at what he’d done. He opened his eyes and walked to the bathroom, the cold water splashing on his face washed the voice away. He stood arched over the sink, water dripping from his face into the basin.

  The voice stopped but when he stood upright and saw himself in the mirror he couldn’t look himself in the eye. What kind of man would let someone rape the girl you love and get away with it? He forced himself to look into his own eyes. He couldn’t be the kind of man to let anyone hurt her or get away with hurting her. He knew that if he ever wanted to be able to look into himself again he needed to do what they said they wouldn’t. He needed revenge, he needed it with or without her. He needed it even if it meant losing her.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

  Dan ended the call on his iPhone and checked the time, one forty-three. Time zones and full diaries had conspired to mean he was well past tired but wide awake. He sighed, the call wasn’t even likely to deliver a new client but you never knew that until it ended. It was too late to call Emma, he wanted to but didn’t want to wake her up so he closed the lid of his MacBook and walked from the desk to the bathroom. He splashed his face with water and pulled his skin tight. His eyes were bloodshot and no amount of L’Oréal Eye Roll On could hide the darkness around them. It was days like this when he had to look into the future, a day when he could sell his share of the business or take a lesser role, maybe one involving a new boat somewhere hot with a monthly dividend cheque.

  Right now, he needed
to relax his brain or at least entertain it enough to distract it from ruminating on the mixture of stupid statements and ridiculous questions he’d just heard in a thick Texan accent. In his imagination he responded by telling them exactly how stupid they were and just where they could stick their phone. He’d forgotten his running clothes so the only option he had was television, his suite had two. One at the bottom of the bed and one in the living room area, he opted for the living room and took an overpriced beer from the mini bar before slumping onto the sofa. He wore only shorts and tried to ignore the thought that countless numbers of sweaty business men had sat in the same seat, possibly naked and possibly enjoying the hotels pay per view porn or free Wi-Fi. It was a worse thought than how many people had fucked in the bed he was about to sleep in, he didn’t know why but it just felt seedier and sofas have no sheets to change.

  The television flicked to life and he skipped through the menus, there wasn’t much on. Sports were usually easy viewing but other than watching old NFL games there was nothing to see. He stopped at the documentaries, the Crime and Criminology channel was showing an all-night marathon of something called Murder Forensics. That would do nicely, involving enough to distract but not exciting enough to stop him relaxing. He clicked on it and took a sip of his beer and joined an episode Dennis Rader, a serial killer also known as BTK. Rader had killed ten victims over a sixteen-year period, Dan had heard of him as he was one of the famous killers who was always covered in documentaries and films. The show explained how he had sent letters to the police and press boasting of his exploits, Dan never understood why killers did this. It seemed crazy to help the police catch you but then sanity wasn’t a requirement of becoming a serial killer.

  Dan continued watching as the narrator explained that traditional forensics played a small part in catching Rader. He was clever enough to leave a relatively clean crime scene and his mundane real-life kept suspicion away from him. He hadn’t been clever enough to believe the police when they told him via the classified adverts they used to communicate that a floppy disk was untraceable. Rader had taken the bait and decided to take advantage of modern technology by sending his letter by disk rather than paper. The computer forensics team had quickly traced the floppy to his church and then a DNA test on his daughter confirmed he was the killer. The fact that he drove the same car as the police were searching for sealed the deal and when questioned his biggest issue seemed to be how his trust had been betrayed.

  Dan took a sip of beer and shook his head at how naivety had ended his murderous career, in a time where every electronic communication is intercepted in the name of freedom it seemed plain stupid to send a floppy disk to the police. He emptied the beer as the show ended and used the commercial break to fetch another.

  The next episode began and would be looking at David Berkowitz, Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer. All killers Dan knew about. He had no interest in the gore people searched for online but for some reason he was drawn to listening to them and what made them tick. He remembered now that Berkowitz was unusual because he didn’t torture or rape his victims, he just walked up and shot them. As he watched the episode he remembered that wasn’t the only unusual thing as Berkowitz had killed under order of a demonically possessed neighbourhood dog.

  He continued watching and wondered how many serial killers had started as rapists, his knuckles turned white as he squeezed his beer bottle. Emma could have been killed. Jaz could have become a killer now and maybe he lured new girls to his house to rape and kill them. He didn’t have to roam the streets looking for victims, he just hung around chat rooms grooming kids and then telling them to hide their tracks when they visited. He used the web like a spider tricking his victims into keeping secrets. How many teenage girls kept secrets from their parents? They hid his tracks for him and then the kids could just vanish with their own lies hiding their fate.

  The episode continued to explain that Berkowitz had been another killer to send letters to the police but had eventually been caught when a witness spotted someone carrying a gun and then a parking ticket linked him to crimes. He’d confessed and again forensics didn’t play a part in catching the killer, only in securing the conviction.

  The channel turned to adverts once again and Dan stood, he had an idea and he needed to write. He took a new black Moleskine from his briefcase and picked up the free hotel pen. It seemed that the police never caught serial killers, they caught themselves by making mistakes. He opened the Moleskine to the second page and wrote at the top in small block capitals ‘FORENSICS’. He sat back down on the sofa as it began to talk about Jeffrey Dahmer, he recognised the image on screen. It showed sombre looking policemen wheeling a fridge and carrying plastic boxes down a flight of steps outside an apartment building. The remains of grown men reduced to little more than the Tupperware people take leftovers to work with.

  Over thirteen years Dahmer had got away with killing over fifteen men in his small apartment where he also managed to dismember and eat them with none of his neighbours becoming suspicious. He was finally caught when he made the mistake of letting a victim escape. Dan continued to write in his Moleskine, flicking to the next blank page he wrote ‘BODY’ in the same small block capitals.

  Dan got the last beer from the minibar. He had given up on the idea of sleeping, he had a murder marathon to watch.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

  The water was flat and dark, the white hull of the boat bobbed, floating in a pool of ink. They sat in total silence apart from the rhythmic slap of water against the fibreglass. The lights on the boat stood out like a candle in a black room.

  ‘It’s really dark out here isn’t it?’ Emma said.

  ‘Yeah, no street lights for a long way. We’re pretty much alone out here. Don’t you like it?’ Dan asked.

  ‘No I like it. It’s just an odd feeling. It’s like it feels safe on here but dangerous out there. Do you know what I mean?’

  ‘Yeah, I think so, I’ve just always felt safe on the water. I like it because it’s isolated and if anyone comes near you can see them miles away. It’s just really peaceful and private.’ Dan said.

  ‘It is peaceful but it just feels like it’s almost dangerous, like if something goes wrong there’s no help.’ Emma said.

  ‘We’ve got life jackets and a radio so if something happens we’ll be fine, the sea is nice and quiet so it’s cool. Do you want to head back to the dock? It’s no problem if you do.’

  ‘No I don’t want to head back. It’s just new for me really. How deep is the water here?’ She said taking a sip from her glass.

  ‘It’s about three hundred foot but I can check if you want to know exactly.’

  ‘Wow. No, it’s ok, I don’t need to know accurately. That’s just really deep.’ Emma said

  ‘Yeah, it’s pretty deep although there’s much deeper parts of the sea, this is relatively shallow. There’s probably loads of stuff on the bottom too.’

  ‘What kind of stuff?’ Emma asked.

  ‘Ship wrecks and planes and stuff. From the war. The D-Day landings probably came near here so there could be all sorts down there. I think you can go wreck diving but I’ve never fancied it.’ Dan said.

  ‘Why not? I think it’d be cool. Scary though. Are there bodies down there do you think?’ Emma asked.

  ‘Hundreds I guess or more. Thousands of years of history.’ Dan paused. ‘There must be a load of bodies down there.’

  ‘That’s sad, can’t they get them back up?’ Emma asked.

  ‘Probably not. There’s too many and the bottoms all covered in silt and the fish will have eaten them or the tides washed them around. They just end up in Davy Jones’ Locker. We should probably change the subject though.’ Dan said.

  ‘Yeah probably. It’s just amazing that there’s stuff down there that gets lost. Just vanishes.’

  ‘I know, it’s kind of why I brought you here.’ Dan said.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Emma asked nervously.

  ‘It’s a goo
d place to dump something you don’t want people to find. Something like a body.’

  ‘Should I be scared?’ Emma said already feeling concerned.

  ‘No, no not you silly. Him, Jaz, the guy.’ Dan said smiling.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean about what we spoke about before. Getting rid of him. You know.’

  ‘Oh right, silly me. For a minute I thought you were going to throw me overboard.’ Emma said laughing.

  ‘No God no, I love you. I don’t want to drown you. It’s just that the other night I was watching TV in the hotel.’

  ‘Right ok.’ Emma said.

  ‘It was a murder documentary, well a few of them and the biggest problem with it seemed to be disposing of the body. Most of the serial killers only get caught when they make a stupid mistake and they then convict them from evidence on the body or they simply can’t get rid of the body.’

  ‘So, you were thinking about him while you watched this?’ Emma asked.

  ‘Not at first but then I got thinking. What were the chances of me and you being on the same flight? Then being seated next to each other and then being snowed in?’

  ‘I don’t know, just a coincidence. I don’t know.’ Emma said.

  ‘Neither do I but it’s got to be small, really small. Then you had that happen to you and he deserves to die for it but for anyone else how would they get rid of the body and get away with it?’ Dan asked.

  ‘I don’t know, I guess, I haven’t really thought about it.’

  ‘Neither had I until recently. But I read something else online about how a lot of serial killers are sexually motivated and start as rapists. They rape women and then it escalates or one does something to annoy them or almost gets away or something. Then they kill them and decide they like killing.’ Dan said.

  ‘You think he’s a serial killer now?’ Emma asked.

  ‘I don’t know. What I do know is that eight years ago he was a rapist, a child grooming rapist and he won’t stop, maybe he’s graduated onto something worse. Maybe one of the girls bit him or something and he strangled her, like in a temper. You said he choked you, well what if he went too far?’ Dan asked