Salt

by David Chambers

  ‘Please, I’m sorry, you’ve done enough.’ His voice broke into sobs again.

  ‘I haven’t done enough, I can never do enough to make up for everything you’ve done. You’re crying like a teenage girl is getting right on my nerves though. When I was a child and used to cry do you know what my Mum used to say to me? She used to tell me to shut up before she gave me a reason to cry. Imagine that. A kid hurt and crying and the person supposed to make me feel better responds with threats of more pain if I didn’t stop crying. That’s what I grew up with and now I am going to give you something to cry about before I go back to Emma.’ Dan said fastening the ball gag around Jaz’s head.

  CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO

  Dan turned to face Jaz, the bag of salt in his right hand. He hefted it, feeling the weight and letting Jaz see before putting it on the floor in front of him.

  Jaz mumbled confused and full of suffering.

  Dan ignored him and walked slowly behind him. Jaz twisted his head trying to see what Dan was doing, he picked up the dildo from the floor. It was covered in a mixture of shit and blood, the smell caused Dan to screw up his nose but he managed to avoid gagging. He carried it to Jaz and prodded him in the face with it, he flinched as the rubber tip smeared across his face

  ‘You know the funny thing about all of this?’ Dan said.

  There was no response other than a muffled sob.

  ‘I guess you can’t talk so I’ll tell you anyway. You see, most of me hates you passionately for what you did to her. You hurt her but more importantly you took something from her, it left a hole inside her that she filed with self-doubt and loathing. You made her hate herself for something you did to her, for that I hate you and that’s why we’re here now. That’s the part that made sense to me immediately. Someone hurts someone you love and you want to hurt them back but something has been circling around my brain all this time. You didn’t hurt her after I knew her, you hurt her long before I knew and loved her. It’s odd but by violating her like you did, you made her into the woman I love. Without you she would be living a different life. Without you she may have held down other relationships so I’d have never even met her.’

  Jaz was beyond anything now but free flowing tears.

  ‘The fucked-up thing is that maybe I wouldn’t have loved her if you hadn’t done that and she probably wouldn’t have loved me either. It’s a complete head fuck because by almost destroying her you created the woman I love and I should thank you for that but then I remember what you did and I hate you again. It’s been playing on my mind all the time I was planning this. If I had a time machine and could go back and stop you raping her, would I? Would I prevent it knowing that I would probably never meet her as a result? It’s selfish to think like that and I haven’t told her but, in the end, I think that I love her enough to lose her to save her that pain.’

  Dan opened the bag of salt and poured a small mound into the palm of his hand, he scattered it loosely over the floor in front of Jaz.

  ‘In the end though Jaz, I can’t undo what you did. What I can do is make sure you never do it again and make you suffer as much as possible.’ Dan poured more salt onto the plastic sheeted floor, making a small white mountain.

  Jaz’s crying intensified. Dan picked up the dildo and lay it across the salt mountain, he worked it around and rolled it, coating it. The salt stuck to the body fluids and he poured more onto the top of the sticky mess. When he was done the rubber had a layer of white salt covering the black. It reminded Dan of the sweets he used to love as a child, a stick of liquorice dipped into sherbet.

  ‘Jaz, look. I want you to see this’

  Jaz lifted his head. His eyes opened wide and then he closed them tight. It was the response of a child who thinks that by closing his eyes he becomes invisible. Dan picked the dildo up from the floor and walked behind him. Jaz squirmed and wriggled trying to avoid what was going to happen.

  ‘Now be quiet, I don’t want you disturbing Emma.’ Dan said.

  Jaz tried to scream something before Dan had even touched him but it was muffled by the ball gag. The pitch of his muffled scream leapt an octave as he felt the salty tip touch his raw anus. Dan pushed harder, forcing the length inside him. Even the gag couldn’t hide the scream, as the salt burned his bleeding, tattered flesh.

  CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE

  ‘Will you stop your fucking snivelling.’ Dan said coldly.

  Jaz ignored him and continued to drip tears onto the plastic sheeting.

  ‘If you don’t stop being such a pussy, things are going to get a lot worse for you. We need to have a talk to see if there’s a way out of this for you.’

  Jaz twisted his neck to Dan, he nodded slowly, every movement of his head agony.

  ‘If I take that off your head are you going to behave? No shouting or anything stupid?’

  Jaz nodded again, wincing with each nod. Dan reached behind Jaz’s head and unbuckled the strap holding the ball gag in place. It dropped away and Jaz moved his jaw up and down desperate to ease the ache spreading through his face and neck.

  ‘Are you thirsty?’ Dan asked.

  Jaz grunted. ‘Yes. Please.’ His cracked lips splitting with each syllable.

  Dan reached down and picked up a bottle of Evian from the floor and removed the top, he took a plastic straw from his pocket and dropped it into the water. Jaz licked his lips watching the water.

  ‘Here you go.’ Dan said lifting the straw to Jaz’s lips.

  He sucked hard on the straw, it was the best water he’d ever tasted and he didn’t want it to end.

  Dan pulled the bottle away. ‘Not too much, you’ll make yourself ill. We need to have a chat ok?’

  Jaz licked his lips again. ‘Yes. I’m sorry. Ask me whatever you want to. Please.’

  ‘Well I need to explain something to you first and I need you to listen and then I need you to be honest. If you lie I’m going to be angry and you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. Will you be honest with me?’ Dan asked.

  ‘Yes. I swear it. Ask me anything just let me go. Please.’

  ‘We’ll see about that, if you’re honest maybe I will. Now listen ok?’

  ‘Yes sorry.’ Jaz said.

  ‘Good. First things first. You’re in a lot of pain, aren’t you?’ Dan said.

  ‘Yes.’ Jaz said struggling to stop the tears flowing again. ‘A lot.’

  ‘I know and pain’s a funny thing. It takes over everything. It becomes the most important thing in your world pretty quickly and it stays with you forever. I can still remember how every scar was caused and which hurt the most. I know all that but what I need is for you to understand that your pain can get worse. It will get worse if you try to lie to me. Is that clear?’ Dan asked.

  ‘Yes. I won’t lie. I swear it. Just give me a little more water please.’ Jaz pleaded.

  ‘Ok.’ Dan raised the bottle to Jaz’s mouth again and watched the water disappear from the straw.

  ‘Thank you.’ Jaz said.

  ‘Here’s the thing, now it’s just us. I know you’ve seen us but I don’t think you could identify us and even if you could would you really want to tell the police why we did it and what we did? Imagine telling everyone what’s happened to you.’

  Jaz’s eyes filled with tears again, he hurt everywhere but the pain of humiliation was the worst. ‘I won’t, I mean I couldn’t tell anyone. I promise. I’d never tell a soul. On my Nan.’ Jaz said.

  ‘Good good. Then we can talk properly. I want you to tell me why you did it. Honestly this time.’

  ‘I.’ Jaz stopped himself before he denied it. ‘I just can’t help myself with them. It’s like an illness. You know?’

  ‘Not sure but carry on. Everyone’s looked at teenage girls but not like you did. Explain to me. If I understand then maybe we can end this.’ Dan reached into his pocket and pulled out a Stanley knife. He pushed the blade out, the small triangle glinted in the light.’

  ‘No. Wait what’s that for? Please. I’ve been honest. Don
’t’ Jaz struggled against the rope, shooting pain through his body.

  ‘This is because you aren’t telling me everything and I said if you didn’t then you would be in more pain. If I don’t understand why you did it, I can’t stop you doing it again, this will stop you doing it again.’ Dan spoke slowly, turning the knife in his hand, he wanted Jaz to see the sharply machined edge.

  ‘I am telling you just please don’t do anything. I’ll tell you everything just not that.’ The panic built in Jaz’s voice until he was almost shouting.

  ‘Tell me why then. Now.’ Dan said pulling the blade back into the handle like a cat’s claws.

  ‘Ok ok. Sorry. Look ok. I told you. You know how it is with these girls. They prance around in their little shorts and little crop tops. Flashing their bodies off and acting like whores. They’re asking for it and they want it. They always want to be with older men because we know what they want and how to give it to them. I never really raped any of them I swear it. They wanted it. It’s just that.’ Jaz spoke fast.

  ‘It’s just that what?’ Dan said fighting hard to control the temper building inside him.

  ‘It’s just that afterwards they pretend they don’t like it and blame me so they don’t feel naughty. It’s just guilt. That’s all it is. They say they’ve been raped so their parents don’t get angry at them. They get attention and pity and they just blame it all on me.’ Jaz said.

  ‘So, you’re sticking to these girls wanting to be fucked by you?’

  ‘Yeah well me or guys like me. They want it, they just don’t want to admit it. You’ve met them, right? Prick teases is what they’re called when they’re older. These are just a bit younger, but they’re the same. You know how it is.’ Jaz said, his voice filled with desperation.

  ‘Prick teases? They’re kids you dirty fuck.’ Dan said.

  ‘No no you know what I mean. Famous guys get it all the time, don’t they?

  ‘So, you’re like a famous guy just being accused of raping these kids? Is that what you’re telling me?’ Dan asked.

  ‘Yeah, well kind of yeah. Just sometimes maybe I get carried away a bit or something.’

  ‘Ok. Well yeah you do get carried away so now it’s my time to talk to you. You raped her. You raped others and you’ll rape more. You didn’t just rape her though, you left her hating herself. Remember what I said about pain? Well you left her hurting so much inside that she started to hurt herself outside. She thinks I haven’t noticed but she’s got scars, just feint little lines now but I know what they’re from. Maybe they’re from a knife just like this one. I didn’t know why she did it at first but I figured it out. Like I said before, pain takes over everything but she could control this pain. So, whenever the hurt inside took over you made her feel so bad that she took control of her pain with a little knife or blade or something.’ Dan said.

  ‘No no not from me, that’s.’ Jaz was cut short my Dan’s fist slamming into his temple. He staggered, groggy from the blow until the fire in his shoulders brought him back to reality. He screamed.

  ‘Shut the fuck up or I’m going to take this knife and cut your tiny little rapey cock off you cunt.’

  ‘Fuck yes I’m sorry. Just it’s not like that.’

  Dan punched him again. ‘Shut up. You hear me?’

  ‘Yes, fuck sorry, it just hurts.’ Jaz said.

  ‘Anyway. You left her feeling so bad, hating herself so much that she hurt herself. Probably alone in her room, crying and close to suicide. You made her hurt so much that she needed to hurt herself even more to distract herself from the pain, get some endorphins in some fucked up kind of mindfulness exercise. That’s what you did to her and I’m sure you did it to all those other little prick teases. Maybe some of them had it worse. You’re an animal, a fucking slug of a man and like a slug you needed covering in salt so you can’t spread your slime over any other poor girls. You disgust me and that’s why you’re never getting away with this.’

  CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR

  The two glasses stood on the kitchen worktop, Dan poured the Prosecco into them. The bottle was already covered in small beads of moisture, the glass almost too cold to hold. After pausing to let the bubbles calm, he continued pouring until both glasses were filled. He thought about putting the bottle back in the fridge but knew it wouldn’t stay full for long. Dan walked from the kitchen into the living room, Emma sat on the sofa. Her legs tucked underneath herself, it was cute to see her sitting like this but a part of him wanted to tell her it would ruin her knees.

  She turned her head and smiled a thank you as he put the two glasses down on the coffee table. A moment later Dan returned with the bottle and sat beside her. She snuggled into him as he lifted his arm around her shoulders.

  ‘How do you feel babe?’ Dan said.

  ‘I don’t know really.’ Emma said.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She turned her face to him ‘It’s weird, it’s like I’ve imagined something like this for so long but never expected it to ever happen.’

  ‘Well it is happening. Do you wish it wasn’t?’ Dan asked.

  ‘No, well I don’t know.’ She lowered her eyes again.

  ‘It’s too late to stop now babe, look at me.’ She lifted her eyes to Dan and he could see there was the start of tears in them ‘We can’t stop now otherwise he wins and we go to prison. You understand?’

  ‘I don’t want to stop but it just feels odd, like numb.’ She looked up. ‘It’s just that I’ve had all these years of it and even after this it won’t change what happened. Nothing can change that and nothing can really make him pay for what he did to me and whoever else he hurt.’

  ‘I know babe.’ He hugged her closer. ‘We’re doing it now so we can’t stop and we can’t ever give him the years of shit you’ve had but I can make him pay in the time we have. Then when he’s gone, he’s gone, that’s the end of him and he can’t come back.’ Dan said.

  ‘I love you, you know that don’t you.’ She smiled at him. Their eyes met but hers leaked crystal trails down her face. ‘I never thought I’d find a man I could trust let alone love and you’re doing this for me. I can never pay you back for this.’

  ‘I love you too but you don’t need to repay me, I told you before that when someone hurts you it’s like they’re hurting me but worse. I’d have done this without you if I could so there’s no need to thank me babe.’

  ‘Well thank you anyway, I love you.’ Emma said.

  She raised her head and closed her eyes, he lowered his mouth to meet hers. He pulled her tighter against him and they kissed again, their lips brushed against each other gently rather than sexually. Dan pulled away and she opened her eyes.

  They drained the glasses and put them back on the table, Dan filled them again with Prosecco. The bottle was still cold to the touch but now half empty or half full depending on how you viewed things.

  ‘If you don’t like how things are with him you can leave it to me, it probably isn’t easy for you.’ Dan said.

  ‘I don’t know. I just don’t think I can hurt him again. I want to but it’s just not me.’ Emma said.

  ‘You don’t have to go there again then. I’ll need you at the end but I can do everything else alone. It’ll be over soon anyway, the last thing I want is you getting more upset.’

  ‘Thank you, I love you.’ Emma said.

  ‘I know you do, I love you too and always will.’ Dan stroked her hair and pulled her head against his chest. ‘Do you want to watch some TV while I go look at his stuff?’

  ‘If you don’t mind, you spoil me sometimes you know.’ Emma said.

  ‘You’re worth it babe.’

  CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE

  Dan stepped inside the bedroom, Jaz squirmed when he heard him. He was going nowhere so all his movement did was hurt him more.

  ‘Calm down shit bag.’ Dan said. ‘I’m not here to hurt you. Not yet anyway.’

  Jaz looked up, he had the look of an abused puppy unsure
if he was going to be kicked or fed. Dan held up the bag they had filled in his house. He put it on the floor in front of him and unclipped the gag.

  ‘I’m here to see what kind of shit you keep in your special boxes.’ Dan said.

  Jaz watched as Dan unzipped the bag and emptied its contents onto the floor. Dan tossed the bag onto the floor behind him when he was sure it was empty.

  The shoeboxes lay open on the floor, the underwear scattered around in an explosion of colours. There were all different styles of knickers in every colour imaginable. Most were smaller in size, he obviously had a type or age he targeted. Dan picked up a teal thong and held it towards him, Jaz flinched at the sight.

  ‘How old was she?’ Dan asked.

  Jaz licked his lips, desperate to moisten them.

  ‘How fucking old was she? Don’t make me ask again.’

  ‘I, I, I don’t remember, they’re usually eighteen or nineteen.’ Jaz said.

  ‘They weren’t eighteen or nineteen though, were they? You know they are younger and you just go along with it, don’t you? The younger ones are easier to scare, aren’t they?’

  ‘It’s not like that, honestly. They want to have sex with me.’

  Dan slapped Jaz across the face. ‘Fuck you. Fuck you, you little cunt. Emma didn’t want to fuck you, she told you that and you ignored her and you raped her and she wasn’t eighteen. She wasn’t even sixteen.’

  ‘I didn’t know she was underage, I thought she was playing. Like a roleplay. Don’t hurt me. I’m sorry. Please.’ Jaz said.

  ‘You really are something else, aren’t you? You rape girls and ignore them when they plead with you but now you’re here begging like a little pussy just because its caught up with you.’

  ‘I’m sorry, just please let me go.’ Tears rolled down Jaz’s face now. ‘Please I won’t do it again’