The Burden of Endurance

by R. L. Blalock

  I pushed through the bushes, and my breath caught in my chest. Arzus lay slumped against the tree. His head hanging forward. Blood covered his face like a mask from a large gash at his hairline. And his eyes were open. Open and unblinking.

  For a moment, I could only blink in surprise. I had been sure I would find Ilex in the bush. Finally, I dropped down onto the ground and felt for a pulse. There was none. I took a deep shuddering breath, trying to steady the emotions that roiled through my brain. I wanted to do something—anything—but there was nothing to be done. He was gone.

  “Someone help me get him to the ATV. We at least need to take him back to the Endurance to be buried with the others.” Kolton jumped forward, grabbing Arzus around the chest as I grabbed his feet. Together, we hauled him back to the ATV. Harvel ran ahead of us, laying a plastic tarp on the ground. Brinden gently wrapped the edges around Arzus, and we lifted him into the back of the ATV. I stood there for a moment, looking at the gray tarp.

  I hadn’t been fast enough to protect him. And I couldn’t protect the others. I had been a fool to think I could facilitate a connection with the Chroin. My foolishness meant someone else was dead.

  It’s not your fault, Kuna said gently.

  Of course, it is. I promised the commanders I could do this.

  I heaved a sigh and turned to the others. I looked over each of them carefully. Their eyes were wide with fear as they looked back at me. The recruits looked around nervously, waiting for one of the wild to attack at any moment. Brinden had a gash across his shoulder. It would need some attention, but it didn’t look like it was too deep. Blood trickled down Reegan’s face from a small cut on her forehead. The others were dirty, bruised, and a bit bloody but in one piece.

  In one piece.

  How long would they remain that way if we continued on this path? How long would it take for each of them to get ripped to shreds? It hadn’t been easy for us to fight off the waves of Chroin that had descended upon the wreckage of the Endurance. We had cut them down en masse from the shuttles. Except, we weren’t trying to kill them now. We were trying to tame them. We needed them alive, which meant we couldn’t use the deadly force that had saved us before.

  I took a deep breath, trying to think of what to say to rally the recruits. Rally them to what? To keep trying to do something that we weren’t even sure was possible? To keep dying?

  “We’ve all seen what the Chroin can do. We saw it at the Endurance. Unless they are bonded, they are wild beasts, and they are deadly.” I cast one last glance at the tarp. “Arzus wasn’t the first to be killed by them, and he won’t be the last.” I slammed the back hatch of the ATV closed. “What we are doing here is different. We aren’t just defending ourselves. We are willfully placing ourselves in danger. We are trying to get the wild to come to us. More than likely, this will happen again. I don’t know who will return to the ship—if any of us will.” I looked at each of the recruits in turn. “What I do know is that our fellow colonists need us to push onward. They need us to figure this out. They need us to come back successful. Our survival depends on it. The human race depends on it.”

  The recruits stared back at me for a moment.

  “Let’s push onward,” Brinden said resolutely. The others nodded their agreement from beside him. I couldn’t help but smile. Brinden was probably the closest thing I had to a friend, and even that was a stretch. I was glad he wanted to stick with me, but the thought also made my gut churn. Sticking with me could get him killed.

  Parsons motioned with his head for me to follow him. Immediately, I felt my hackles rise. Throughout the whole speech he had held back, watching us as though we were something vile.

  Us. Not just me, but the recruits as well. The realization that he despised them as much as me, even though they were unbonded, slammed into me. They had volunteered to undergo the bonding. To him, they were just as bad. Maybe even worse. They chose this path. I hadn’t.

  “Can’t this wait?” I hissed, making sure my voice was low enough that the others wouldn’t hear.

  “Wait?” The muscles in his neck stood out as he spoke. “No, it can’t wait.” He pointed back at the ATV “We now have another body to bury, and the other commanders are going to want to know how this happened.”

  “How this happened?” I parroted, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “This was bound to happen.” I snarled. “You’re getting people up close and personal with wild animals—”

  “Aliens,” Parsons snapped.

  I ground my teeth together. “We are the aliens on this planet.”

  “There is no we. I am not an alien.” Parsons stepped forward. “You are an alien. You and those wannabe freaks.”

  My blood boiled as I clenched and unclenched my fists. For a long moment, I was silent. I didn’t know what to say. If I opened my mouth, I wasn’t sure anything more than a feral shriek would come out. Every fiber of my being screamed at me to beat him into submission, to knock the idiocy straight out of his brain.

  All the anger drained from his face and was replaced with a smug smile. “Make no mistake. I’m not the least bit heartbroken that one of you is gone. We’re better off.” He knew he had gotten under my skin. He knew I was close to losing my cool. He wanted me to lose it again. He wanted me to do something stupid.

  With a concerted effort, I took a deep breath, my hands shaking from the effort. “Should we head back then?”

  “Not on your life,” he growled, his face coming within inches of mine. “I’d rather stay out here until all of you are dead.” He stepped back, shaking himself out and regaining his composure. “But Aldone wants an army of hybrids.” The last word dripped from his lips as an insult. “So, I’ll make sure we bring him back at least one more. If the recruits keep dying off, it won’t be much longer before the others pull their support from Aldone’s plan.” He gave me a wicked smile.

  “I won’t let them die.”

  “You already have.” He smiled. “The wild are dangerous. You can try as hard as you like, but there is nothing you can do to protect them. Not if they are going to try to bond with those monsters.”

  I glanced back at the recruits. Their heads still hung in defeat. Brinden sat on the ground, his back against the ATV. His head in his hands.

  I wouldn’t let them die.

  “They are going to be just fine,” I said again. “Besides, what makes you so sure I won’t tell Aldone what you’ve just told me?”

  “You can.” Parsons shrugged nonchalantly. “He won’t believe you.” The smug smile was back in place, and I wanted nothing more than to wipe it right off his face. “You seem to forget. I’ve worked with these people all my life. They know me. They respect me. You are nothing to them. Whose side do you think they will choose?”

  My chest tightened. He was right. If I went to Aldone, I’d look crazy. It would be another reason to believe I was an unwanted burden.

  I set my shoulders and straightened my clothes. “Aldone will have his hybrid army, even if I have to kill myself doing it.”

  “One can only dream.”

  Chapter 5

  The sunlight had begun to fade. It had been hours since our last encounter with the wild. Though I was relieved that we hadn’t had to face another one, the lack of them made me just as anxious. The coming dark was no help, either. They came at night before. They had flowed toward the wreckage of the Endurance like a tidal wave.

  I shook my head.

  We should head back. Kuna was tense underneath me. His gait was stiff as we loped ahead of the ATV. Others will come with the darkness. We shouldn’t stay out here.

  Others?

  The wild, Kuna stated simply.

  I rolled my eyes and signaled for the ATV to stop.

  “What’s up?” Harvel leaned out of the passenger side window.

  “The sun is setting. We should head back and try again tomorrow,” I said.

  “Absolutely not.” Parsons threw open his door and jumped out.

  “We shou
ldn’t stay out here,” I argued. “The wild are stronger at night. They can see better than us. Hunt better than us. We’ll be sitting ducks out here in the open.”

  “We have a duty to the commanders and the rest of the colonists back at the Endurance to do everything we can to complete our mission. They are waiting for us to return with more of the Chroin to fight for us, to protect us as we create a home here on Iotova. We cannot let them down.”

  He lies, Kuna hissed.

  Of course, he does. Kuna knew what had been said earlier. I had been too angry to keep Parsons’s words from swirling around in my brain. To my surprise, Kuna had been relatively restrained in his reaction. He hadn’t been angry about Parsons’s utter disregard for our safety. Instead, the beast had taken his words as a direct challenge. Since then, he had been dutifully watching for any signs of the wild, constantly alert for any attack, but he was getting tired. He doesn’t care about us or the recruits, but if we say what we know, he will ruin us. He could probably even get us killed and come out of it the hero.

  “We should camp here tonight,” Parsons concluded. The recruits exchanged nervous glances.

  “As you wish,” I sang, unable to keep the sarcastic twinge out of my voice.

  “Do you disagree?” Parsons snapped.

  I bit the inside of my cheek. Of course, I did. “I don’t think it’s wise to stay out here. No.” I turned my attention to the recruits. I was tired of playing nice with Parsons. If he didn’t at least want to pretend to play nice, then neither would I. “All right! We need to find someplace to stay the night. Some of the Chroin are more active in the dark, so we need to find someplace that’s defensible. High walls, narrow openings. Better than that would be to find someplace where we could stay hidden. We’ll follow the river for a while longer, looking for something that will work. If we can’t find it, we’ll venture into the woods. Got it?”

  Some of the recruits nodded slowly.

  “I said, got it?” I bellowed.

  “Yes, ma’am,” they replied in unison.

  I gave them a genuine smile. “Good. Now, stay sharp. We’re looking for shelter, but we need to keep our eyes out for the wild, as well.”

  ***

  We needed to turn away from the river. We hadn’t found anywhere that would allow us to bed down safely for the night. I didn’t want to. I didn’t know what would be waiting for us in the woods. We might not find anything there either.

  Maybe we should just bed down at the river. We can keep our back to it. At least they can’t come at us from the water, I suggested.

  We’ll be completely in the open.

  I nibbled my lip. I knew that. I didn’t like it, but I disliked the idea of being surrounded by trees in the dark with the wild waiting to pounce on us, as well.

  A thrum filled the air, and I tensed. Kuna stumbled, his massive head swiveling back and forth.

  What was that? I asked.

  I…I don’t know, Kuna said unsteadily. There’s something out there.

  I nodded. I can feel it too. Do you think it’s the wild? Perhaps a herd?

  He shook his head. No. It feels too…calm to be wild.

  I leaned over and signaled the ATV to stop.

  “What?” Parsons snapped as he leaned out the window.

  “Something is ahead of us. I’m not sure what it is, but we should prepare for the worst. Get someone in the turret. Have the others ready. We’ll take the lead. Stay behind us. Whatever is ahead is big, so we may need to run,” I told him.

  Instead of his usual rude retorts, Parsons simply nodded and ducked back into the ATV. I heard him barking orders at the others.

  Ready? I asked.

  Do you think we should connect? Kuna asked in reply.

  I reached for the thrumming with my mind. Kuna was right. It was chaotic but not like the wild. It wasn’t overbearing. Just present.

  Not yet but be ready.

  Kuna moved forward more slowly as we approached a large outcropping of rock. The sound of running water grew from the constant hum we had become accustomed to throughout the day to a roar. We rounded the corner, and our gazes immediately landed on an enormous cliff hundreds of feet above us. The water fell over the edge, cascading down the rocks until it hit a pool at the bottom. The large pool fed out into the river we had been following all day.

  In the pool, dozens of large white orbs floated on the water’s surface. In the dying light, they almost glowed as they bobbed in the turbulent waters.

  “What are they?” I breathed.

  Kuna’s emotions were a mixture of confusion and hope. Eggs. It was barely a whisper. They’re eggs.

  Chroin eggs? I asked in alarm.

  He nodded.

  We need to leave now. My eyes darted from egg to egg. There were so many. They cluttered the pool. How large is the herd that these belong to? They could come back at any moment.

  I don’t think they belong to a herd, Kuna said.

  Are you sure? I asked, eyeing the trees suspiciously. We wouldn’t be able to defend against a herd this large.

  No, but my first memories are alone…near the river.

  Instantly, the world around me vanished. I was surrounded by water. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. It was swirling around me, and I didn’t know which way was up or down. I kicked as hard as I could.

  For a moment, my head broke through the surface, but as soon as I tried to take a breath, I was sucked back down. Instead of air, I sucked in more water. It was cold. So cold. My legs were going numb, but I couldn’t stop kicking. I’d drown if I did.

  Pain exploded through me as I was slammed against some rocks. With all my might, I scrabbled at them, pulling myself above the surface. I coughed and spluttered as the water pulled at me, trying to whisk me away again. A quiet, mewling cry escaped my lips. No one answered. Only the sound of the water.

  Suddenly, that world disappeared, and I was once again standing at the base of the waterfall. I blinked, shaken by what had just happened. My lungs still ached. They still burned for more oxygen.

  Oh, Kuna. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

  There is no one waiting for them, he whispered.

  Why? I asked, nuzzling his neck as I tried to force away the memory.

  He shook his head. The herd doesn’t come this far upstream, at least not my herd. I don’t know where we come from, but we are not born of each other.

  The bright floodlights of the ATV cut through the falling darkness as it pulled up to the waterfall.

  “What are those?” Brinden shouted from the turret.

  “Eggs,” I told him, my eyes moving across each egg. “Chroin eggs.”

  Confused, he asked, “They hatch?”

  I shrugged as I slid off Kuna’s back. I wanted a closer look.

  Kuna followed in my shadow as I waded into the water. Goosebumps rippled across my flesh. The water was just as icy as before, just like Kuna’s memory.

  As the water rose up past my waist, I reached for the closest egg and pulled it in to get a better look. Despite its large size, it glided easily across the water’s surface. The sphere was opalescent, with veins of red dancing across its surface. As I pulled the egg closer to the shore, I caught sight of a snout with a row of sharp teeth that protruded from under the lips and jumped back.

  I hurried to snatch the egg back before it floated back out into the basin and dragged it in until it caught on the shore. I quickly pulled out my heavy-duty flashlight, flicked it on, and knelt down to examine the egg. The shell wasn’t entirely translucent, but here and there, I glimpsed part of a leg or a tail.

  “What’s in there?”

  I jumped at Brinden’s voice. “A Chroin of some sort.” I shook my head. “It’s not one we’ve seen yet, though.”

  “I wonder how many different types of Chroin there are,” Brinden mused.

  I shrugged. “There were a lot of different animals on Earth. The Chroin must be like this planet’s animals.”

  Brind
en sidled up next to me, bending in to get a closer look. The creature inside suddenly twisted, causing the egg to shudder. Brinden and I both jumped back, ready for the wild to burst forth with claws swinging. When that didn’t happen, we cautiously approached the egg again.

  “What did Kuna have to say about all this?” Brinden asked, shifting this way and that as he stared intently at the egg.

  “He doesn’t remember much.” I shook my head. “He just remembers the river and being alone.”

  Brinden’s shrug was almost imperceptible in the waning light. “Can’t say that I remember my birth either.”

  As Brinden leaned in close to the egg, he placed his hand against it to steady himself. Suddenly, the egg shook, and a crack resonated through the air. The fine red lines on the egg split, spider web cracks rippling across the egg.

  Get back, Kuna growled.

  The egg shuddered again, a shriek resonating from inside. Brinden and I jumped back, and the wild thrashed and twisted, pieces of the egg flecking off to reveal the creature’s ruby-colored leathery hide. Another crack split the air. It was quickly followed by another and another until it sounded like dozens of guns all being fired together.

  They’re all hatching at once. My heart was racing as I looked out over the pond. The water was filled with undulating waves as the eggs twitched to life.

  They must be responding to the sentience of the recruits. Once one sensed it, the chain reaction started.

  The egg before us finally split open, and the Chroin spilled out into the water. Brinden raced past me, lunging for the creature.

  “Stop,” I screamed, my heart thundering in my ears as I envisioned him getting ripped to shreds by the newborn. Water splashed up around Brinden as he waded in after the creature.

  Save him, I screamed to Kuna.

  “We have to help them.” Brinden’s eyes were pleading as he looked to me. “They’re going to drown.”

  Time seemed to slow. It was happening. He had felt the connection. I could see it in his eyes. The fear of losing his bonded was there. The desperation. The loneliness.