Delusional

by Terri Breneman

  “I don’t think I understand what that means,” Patty said.

  “Well, they realize that hours or most likely days have passed and they have no recollection,” Toni said. “And they haven’t been drinking, so it’s not an alcoholic blackout. For example, they remember being at work in the morning and the next thing they know, they’re at the grocery store and it’s two days later. Imagine just sitting here, closing your eyes and opening them a moment later and you’re driving somewhere in your car. To you it’s only been a second, but in reality a day or more has passed.”

  “Oh, my, God,” Vicky said. “That has to be absolutely frightening.”

  “I can’t even imagine,” Toni said. “And they may be wearing clothing that they don’t remember buying, their hair styled differently and they could be eating something they don’t even like. And when they go home, things are in different places than they remember putting them. They might even talk to a friend who describes their evening out the night before and they have absolutely no memory of anything.They usually come to therapy as a last resort.”

  “A last resort, how?” Patty asked.

  “Well, the lost time has probably increased,” Toni said. “Especially as they get older and have a better concept of time. Young children don’t have that understanding, so it’s not as frightening to them. But as you get older, missing an hour might be understandable, but not days. And when your friends tell you things that you’re clueless about, that makes it worse. They come for therapy because basically they think they’re crazy.”

  “What’s the psychological explanation behind it? I mean after the trauma is over,” Boggs asked. “Why do these other people or personalities come out?”

  “There’s a lot that the experts don’t know and I only know a little myself. But what seems to happen is that another personality takes over when the birth person is stressed. The stress doesn’t have to be something big either. Or sometimes it might just be that someone else wants to do something or go somewhere. The other personalities all know about each other and some are much stronger than others. The only one that’s clueless is the birth person.”

  “Have you seen someone switch from one personality to another?” Johnnie asked. “I mean right in front of you?”

  “Yes, we did and it was incredible. They even looked a bit different, right before our eyes.” Toni took another drink of her soda. “And I always say ‘they’ when referring to them, because that’s what they are. The strangest concept for me was when I asked them how they came out to talk. They told me that they all lived in separate rooms along a long hallway and there was a large overhead light at the end of the hall. Whoever stood under the light was out. It was amazing.”

  “That’s hard for me to wrap my brain around,” Vicky said.

  “Me, too,” Toni replied. “But the one thing most of them had in common was their desire to protect the birth person. The stronger personalities were the ones that were out the most, but after a while, it seemed like they focused more on themselves than on their original job of protection. I think that over the year that we spent with them, we only spoke to the birth person about ten times. We usually worked with the two main personalities that were both thirteen-year-old boys.”

  “How old was the birth person?” Patty asked.

  “She was twenty years old when we started. No one was older than that and there were some that were youngsters.”

  “How did that work when a thirteen-year-old boy was out? Especially since it was in the body of a twenty-year-old woman?” Johnnie asked.

  “This person was lucky in a way,” Toni said. “She was rather androgynous looking, so that helped. Her name was Daniella and the two boys were called Danny and D. After a while we could tell who was who by the way they talked and acted.”

  “Do they all have names?” Patty asked.

  “Yes. A lot were variations of the birth person’s name, but some had completely unrelated names. And they were all distinctly different.”

  “So how do you help someone like that?” Boggs asked.

  “Well, the goal is to integrate them all back into one person, the birth person. That’s not an easy task. As Danny told me once, he was afraid to integrate because that would mean that he would no longer exist.”

  “What did you say?” Vicky was now leaning forward, as were all the others.

  “I tried to tell him that the essence of him would always be there, but it was a hard sell. I could understand where he was coming from.” Toni sighed. “We worked with them for over a year. By the time I left that job, we had gotten them down to about twelve.”

  “Did the birth person know?” Vicky asked.

  “Yes, by then she did and she was doing better. Just knowing that she wasn’t crazy helped a lot because she now knew the reason for her gaps in memory.”

  “And can a person like this lead a somewhat normal life?” Johnnie lit another cigarette. “Or not exactly normal, but be able to function in society?”

  “Sure, it’s possible and more than likely. Very few are institutionalized, in fact. Most are just in outpatient therapy. People around them might not know and just think they’re moody,” Toni said. “The family would probably know, or maybe just refer to one personality as Happy Jane when the person is in a good mood. Not that they’d understand it all, just be able to recognize the different moods of Jane.”

  “Do you think it’s possible that our guy is a multiple and that one of his personalities is the killer?” Vicky retrieved another Coke from the bar refrigerator.

  “I think anything is possible,” Toni said. “Especially if you’re talking about the human mind. And although it’s rare in men, I surely wouldn’t rule anything out.”

  “Okay,” Vicky said. “Now that we’ve got some ideas for the different types of people we might be looking for, which appears to be everyone including my Uncle Herman, let’s go over what we know so far, fact wise.”

  Patty flipped her pad back to the beginning. “Okay, what we know so far is the possible last two numbers on the plates of a vehicle seen at the second scene. Um, six, six. Also, it’s maybe on a dark color, older model Ford van. No prints at either scene. Um, let’s see.” She turned to the next page. “We know the guy used massive amounts of insulin and myrrh oil. That’s it.”

  “What about the Bibles?” Boggs said. “Can we trace those? Maybe they’re only available at certain places. Same with the myrrh oil.”

  “That’s a possibility,” Vicky said. “I’ll check on that. The Bibles are at the lab and the guys didn’t find any trace evidence on them. We don’t have much to go on right now, so at least that’s something.”

  “And I’ll keep working on the DMV list,” Patty said. “Maybe we can whittle it down to a manageable number. I’ll throw out any that are registered to people under twenty-five or over eighty. How does that sound?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Vicky said. “I’ve got the humongous list of assaults over the past six months or so to go through. I’m looking for anything that involves a Bible or a rock. That should be interesting.”

  “And I’m still looking for similar M O s across the nation,” Johnnie said. “So far I haven’t had any luck, but I’ll run it through a couple more databases once I get back to my office. I’m sure I can squeeze that into my day.”

  “I’ll check the Internet and chat rooms for insulin stuff,” Boggs said. “Maybe someone’s talking. If he’s on a mission from God, maybe he wants people to know about it. Hell, there’s probably a Web site for delusional people who like to kill with insulin and put myrrh oil on their foreheads. There’s everything else you can imagine out there.”

  Toni laughed. “Sick, but true. I’m not sure what I can do. I guess I can do some research on the psych side of things. I’ve been out of the field for a while.”

  “I really appreciate the help, you guys.” Vicky drained the rest of her Coke. “As soon as I get any more info I’ll pass it along. We’ve got to catch a break soo
ner or later.”

  After everyone left, Toni and Boggs sat in their living room in front of the fire. Mr. Rupert was curled up in Toni’s lap and Little Tuffy was draped once again across Boggs’s arm.

  “Do you think it’s possible that this nut job only planned on killing two people?” Boggs asked.

  “I guess it’s possible, but I don’t think it’s likely,” Toni replied. “I think he’ll do it again, and soon. There were only three days between the killings and it’s already been three more days. My hope is that he’ll be so delusional that he’ll feel invincible and make a mistake. Unfortunately, for that to happen, he’ll have to kill again. Or at least make an attempt.”

  As they sat next to each other in front of their beautiful fireplace, Toni felt the warmth and comfort of being next to her girl. But that feeling was short-lived as she realized that no one could be shielded from a killer like this one. It’s like a suicide bomber, she thought. They didn’t care if they were killed in the process as long as their message was heard. And that type of person didn’t worry about the risks. It was nearly impossible to protect yourself from a crazy person. She tried to push those thoughts from her mind. Our home is safe, she told herself. We’ve got cameras and a security system. It didn’t help. She felt frightened as the images of Maggie flooded her mind.

  “Is your gun still in the nightstand?” she whispered.

  Boggs smiled and kissed her cheek. “Yes, and my other one is in the study. We’ll be okay, babe. Where’s your gun? Still in your nightstand?”

  Toni nodded.

  “The alarm is set, babe, and I double-checked all the doors after everyone left. We’re okay. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

  Hearing Boggs say that, Toni immediately felt better. “You’re right,” she said. “We’ll be fine.” She rubbed Mr. Rupert’s head. “And we’ve got two good guard cats. Let’s head upstairs.”

  It’s amazing what you can convince yourself of if you try hard enough.

  Chapter 8

  The man glanced at his watch. He had at least two hours to pass before his next sermon. He twisted his ring. Since it was Thursday night, he figured he might as well stick to his routine and go to the gym. It was important to be physically fit because your body was your temple. He’d eaten a late lunch so working out right after work would be perfect. He could run on the treadmill for thirty minutes, lift some weights, shower and then grab a quick bite for dinner. He knew a small run-down diner that would be an ideal place to eat. The food was cheap and no one would bother him while he ate and read his Bible.

  A little over an hour later, he sat by himself in a back booth. He ordered a tuna sandwich with a side of cole slaw and a glass of iced tea. The waitress left his check when she delivered his food and never returned. He was grateful because she looked like a prostitute to him. He said an extra prayer before taking his first bite.

  After finishing his meal, he bowed his head again and prayed. This was going to be another extraordinary night. He’d been blessed with another message from God the night before. The messages were more frequent now. It was time. He was thrilled that God was asking him to perform once again. He’d spent a large portion of his evening last night making sure that he was familiar with the next person on the list. He knew his habits, where he worked and where he lived. He was pretty sure he’d open the door to him, but of course it wasn’t a foolproof plan. He prayed again, asking God to help him execute his mission. He wondered if the insulin was a good idea. Maybe God wanted these people to suffer and be aware of their sins. No, that can’t be right. The insulin came to him in a miraculous way, so it must be God’s way of saying this was the right method. He smiled faintly and thanked his Lord for this wonderful blessing. He felt strong and invincible because he was on the side of his Lord. He had a mission and nothing was going to get in his way.

  He counted out his money for his meal, leaving an exact ten percent tip, put on his baseball cap, slipped his Bible inside his real gym bag and headed out the door.

  Chapter 9

  “He hit again,” Vicky said after Toni answered the phone early Saturday morning. “He’s been dead a while. The M.E. thinks maybe Thursday night. Son of a bitch.”

  “Oh, Vicky, are you doing okay?” Toni had barely started her first cup of coffee. The images of Maggie again flooded her mind and she went from barely awake to fully alert in a flash. She noticed her hand shaking as she brought the steaming mug to her lips.

  “Yeah, I’m as okay as I can be. Hang on.”

  Toni heard Vicky give assignments to what Toni assumed were uniformed cops. After several minutes, she heard a loud sigh.

  “Sorry, I’m trying to make sure the entire neighborhood is canvassed. I’m going to be here at the scene for a bit, but I’d like us to meet again. A neighbor thinks he saw a dark van parked in front on Thursday night. He remembered the last three of the plate, so I gave that info to Patty. She thinks she’ll have a list of possible hits by tonight. Is that okay with you guys?”

  “Absolutely,” Toni said. “We were going to make burgers on the grill for dinner, so I’ll just get a few more out. How does that sound? Are you asking Johnnie also?”

  “You don’t need to feed us,” Vicky said. “And who grills in November?”

  “That’s what gas grills are for,” Toni laughed. “How about coming over at six?”

  “Perfect. I’ll let Patty and Johnnie know,” Vicky said. “I know Patty is working with me, but I don’t know if Johnnie has a date or not.” She chuckled. “Oh, who cares? This is more important. See ya tonight.” She hung up without saying more.

  “Who was that?” Boggs asked as she came into the kitchen. Her hair was sticking straight up and it was obvious she just rolled out of bed. Toni filled her in while pouring her a cup of coffee.

  “The last three on the license plate, that will really narrow it down for us.” Boggs sipped her coffee. “Unless it has nothing to do with the crime.” She grabbed a bottle of Kahluá and poured a generous amount in her mug. “And the theory that it was just something personal to the first two victims is down the drain,” she said as she stirred.

  “Yeah,”Toni said as she took the bottle from Boggs and added some to her own mug. “I think I’ll go online and see if I can find out anything more on profiling for this guy.”

  “Good idea. After we eat a little something, I’m going to refill the extra propane tank for the grill and hit the liquor store.”

  “How do scrambled eggs with gouda cheese sound?” Toni asked.

  “Oh, I would love that,” Boggs replied. Mr. Rupert hopped up beside her on the kitchen island. “And it’s one of his favorite things, too. Can we have extra, please?”

  Toni laughed. “I suppose so. And I’m assuming you want your very own plate, buddy?”

  Mr. Rupert meowed in response.

  Toni put plates on the counter and got the ingredients out of the refrigerator. The eggs were in the skillet and the cheese grated when she turned back around. Mr. Rupert was actually sitting in front of one of the plates. “You know, hon, most people would freak out if they knew we let the cats on the counter.”

  Boggs chuckled. “I know. The other day when Aunt Francie stopped by, Mr. Rupert was sitting here on the counter. I acted all shocked and shit, claiming he never does that normally and that he must be showing off for company.”

  “Did she buy it?” Toni asked.

  “I don’t think she cared one way or the other,” Boggs said, “but I cracked myself up when I said it.”

  Toni finished the eggs and made some toast. She put a small amount on Mr. Rupert’s plate after blowing on them to cool his breakfast and he promptly inhaled every bit.

  “I’m surprised that Little Tuffy isn’t up here,” Toni said, looking over to the living room. “Where is he?”

  “He’s on the loveseat,” Boggs said as she put another forkful of eggs in her mouth. “He likes to be served. I’ll take him some of mine when I’m done.”

  “Gee, you
don’t think we spoil these guys, do you?” Toni asked, shaking her head.

  “Not at all. They’re our boys, that’s all.” Boggs finished all but a few bites and scraped those on Mr. Rupert’s now empty plate. He had moved to the far end of the island and was washing his face.

  Boggs returned with an empty plate from the living room. She put it and the rest of the plates and frying pan in the dishwasher and refilled their coffee cups. “Is there anything else we need while I’m out?”

  “I don’t think so,” Toni said. “We’ve got everything we need for dinner. The burgers are thawing and we’ve got fries in the freezer.”She rummaged through the refrigerator.“There’s plenty of lettuce, mayo and ketchup. I bought buns on the way home last night, so we’re good to go. Hmm.”

  “What? Did you think of something?”

  “I’m in the mood for Hefeweizen. Would you pick some up?”

  “That does sound good,” Boggs said. “I’ll get enough for everyone. I know Vicky likes it.”

  “Then that’s all we need unless you want something for dessert,” Toni said.

  “We’ve still got some of the birthday cake left,” Boggs said.

  “Boggs! I told you to throw that out days ago.” Toni shook her head. “It’s got to be hard as a brickbat by now.”

  “You think?” Boggs retrieved it from one of the cabinets and unwrapped the foil. She poked the icing with her finger. “You’re right.” She began picking the icing off in large chunks and tossing it in the trash can.

  “Now what are you doing?” Toni asked.

  “I’m going to give the dried cake part to the critters outside,” Boggs said. “It’s cold out there, and I’m sure the birds and squirrels would love it.”

  “Great idea,” Toni said. “There’s some stale bread in the pantry, why don’t you give them that too?” She went over and kissed Boggs passionately.

  “Wow. What was that for?”

  “Just letting you know I love you,” Toni said as she walked away. “And to remind you there’s more where that came from.” She left Boggs in the kitchen with a smile on her face.