The Right Moment

by Heatherly Bell

  “Daddy? No,” Joanne said. “It’s more about you.”

  “Me?”

  “When he died, it nearly destroyed you. You struggled as a single mom, and then I struggled as a single mom. And I refuse to do that again.”

  “Honey, it wasn’t your father’s choice to leave us, any more than it was Matt’s fault that you wouldn’t marry him.”

  “It would have been a disservice to marry him when I still loved Hud.”

  But it was true that Joanne had been given a choice between being a single mother and married to a man she didn’t love. She’d chosen to be alone.

  “A firefighter did get hurt yesterday, but not killed. He was a friend of Hud’s.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  “It could have been Hud. And I keep seeing that. After the fire, I keep thinking that I could lose him. It’s one thing to lose the man I love but another for his children to lose him. And I want more children. Hunter at least will always have Matt.”

  “Excuse me, but have you been given access to a crystal ball that I’m not aware of? How do you know Hunter will always have Matt? No one is guaranteed tomorrow.”

  “That’s true, but with a dangerous job like Hud’s...”

  “Matt is a pilot, honey.”

  “It’s true what they say about flying. Safer than driving,” Joanne argued.

  “And your father was a software engineer. It doesn’t get much safer than that. I’m just sorry that your strongest memory is the one of me falling apart. Maybe I did in the beginning, but it didn’t take me long before I realized that I’d been given a gift. All the years I had with him. A beautiful daughter with his eyes. His smile. His honor and strength. I chose a man with great character, and I’m proud that I had a child with him. I think that’s some pretty choice DNA. Frankly, the genes of a hero might not be so bad, either. Besides, just think how beautiful your children would be.”

  “I wish I were stronger. I wish I were more like my young bride, Leah. She’s not afraid to love a man in a war zone.”

  “Honey, you are strong. Indomitable. You need to remember that. Having a child as a teenager could have ruined your life. But you finished school, went on to study more and always put Hunter first. Single mothers are some of the toughest and bravest people in the world. You’re just forgetting that because he makes you feel vulnerable.”

  “I love him so much.”

  “Then don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, sweetie. Just pull up your big girl panties and let yourself love him. Risk it. It’s always worth it, no question.”

  * * *

  As expected, Hunter came home on Monday after school. Joanne was ready for him, and the talk she’d put off for so long. Too long.

  “Hey, Mom.” Hunter threw his car keys willy-nilly and they landed somewhere on the couch.

  He was driving himself to school now, using his father’s old truck. Nothing she could do about that. Kids grew up. It started the minute they left the womb and could no longer be protected. Not completely. Sometimes they made bad choices like drugs or smoking. She’d been lucky with her son in that respect.

  Other times kids made honorable choices like joining the military. And her job was to support Hunter’s choices, not fear them.

  “You’re going to lose those keys in the couch.”

  “Huh?” Hunter crunched into a crisp apple he’d picked up from the fruit basket on the coffee table.

  “Never mind.” He’d learn the hard way, when he couldn’t find his keys and was late to class.

  She was going to have to let go.

  “What’s for dinner?” This he asked between crunches, and due to dumb luck and being biologically connected, she was able to decipher it. Somehow.

  “I ordered us a pizza.”

  He cocked his head. “Really? Cool!”

  “Once a week we’re going to splurge and eat all of the calories.”

  “Yeah, right.” He plopped down on the couch, doubt heavy in his words.

  She sat beside him. “I mean it. We should have a little fun here and there. It won’t kill us.”

  “Yeah? Hey, where’s Hud?” He looked around the room. It was the first time in a month he’d come over and not seen Hud. No wonder he’d ask about him.

  “He’s...probably at work.” She took a deep breath and wished she could read from her prepared statement. She’d written everything down on paper but she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to deliver it well. “Can we talk?”

  “About what?” His eyes narrowed.

  “You and me. I’m sorry if I didn’t seem to care what you thought about Chuck. I should have paid more attention to the fact that you didn’t like him. Somehow I thought you wouldn’t like anyone I decided to get serious about.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “I like Hud.”

  She briefly closed her eyes against the ache just hearing his name caused. “Yes. I should have dated Hud.”

  How she would ever fix things between them, she still didn’t know. But she was working on a plan and had a list started.

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “That’s kind of complicated. Hud didn’t want to settle down for years and that’s what I wanted. We also have a difficult past.”

  “Yeah, I know. Hud told me.”

  “I should have been the one to tell you, and I’m sorry.”

  “That’s okay.” He continued to crunch on his apple.

  “I think I was afraid he’d hurt me again. So, I chose the safe way. Pretending I didn’t still love him, but I always have. I never stopped.”

  He made a face. “Geesh. It’s getting real sappy in here.”

  Joanne laughed and patted his knee. “This is the most important part for you to hear. If you still want to be a Marine, I’ll support you.”

  At this, he set down the apple. “For real?”

  “I know you can join with or without my approval, but I want you to know that it’s your decision. I realize that I can’t protect you. Nor is that my job anymore. You’re a man and I’m going to treat you that way.” She cleared her throat. “Well, at least I’ll try.”

  “Hey, thanks, Mom.” Hunter threw an arm around her shoulder.

  Joanne pulled her son in the rest of the way for a hug.

  She’d probably wear out her knees in another year or so, because her son was going to be a Marine.

  * * *

  Two days later, the fire on Wildfire Ridge had been contained. Only a small section of Sam and Jill’s house had been destroyed and repairs would start soon. All the trailers were dust, however, but at least no others had exploded. No civilian had been injured. At a conservative estimate, hundreds of acres were taken. But the idea of destruction didn’t really exist in nature. It would all come back given time.

  Unlike buildings, some which were destroyed and never rebuilt. Rebuilding took more than the passage of time. It took hard work and money. Determination. Relationships, too, could die for a hundred different reasons, not the least of them being a man’s pride. He hadn’t spoken to or texted Jo in days and missed her like his right arm. Jo was his best and closest friend, and besides his parents, the only person who had loved him through careless and poor decisions.

  What surprised him most was the anger he’d directed at himself. Anger and frustration that after promising himself he would fight to be with her, he’d walked out on their first serious argument. He should have turned around, gone back inside, and washed every fear away with logic. Made his case. But, tired of Jo finding reasons for them not to be together, he gave up. Which said a lot about his state of mind. Or maybe he was simply tired.

  “Beer at the Silver Saddle?” Ty asked as they left the station.

  “Nah, I’m not up for it.”

  He’d been a sad sack lately and was quite frankly getting sick of himself.

/>   “Come on, man, I need a wingman tonight.” Ty clasped his hands together, prayer-like.

  “Not happening.”

  Ty gave up, hands tossed up. Good. Hud wouldn’t need to make conversation with anyone tonight. He was in no mood for small talk.

  He didn’t need to be reminded that he’d had his first real date with Jo at the Silver Saddle. They’d started over that night. He’d made her wait, though that hadn’t lasted long. Her pale blond hair had smelled like coconuts. She’d worn the short white dress he loved. His longing for her hadn’t dissipated, and if it hadn’t in ten years, he doubted it would in a few days.

  What happens if I never get over her? The thought speared him; he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life. He wanted children. A family. But he only wanted that with Jo.

  He drove home, noting that in his quiet family neighborhood the Halloween decorations were already up. Lots of red, burnt orange and yellow. Pumpkins and gourds sat on porches and balconies. Witches and goblins were lawn decorations. The night was cold and crisp.

  Mrs. Suarez sat in the rocking chair on her porch.

  “Hey.” Hud climbed out of his truck, shut the door and used the keyfob to lock it. “Everything okay with the thermostat?”

  She sat with a serene smile curving her lips, nodding her head as she rocked. “Everything’s fine, mijo. No te preocupa. Ella te amo. Mucho.”

  Hud nodded and wished once again that he’d had a passing grade in high school Spanish. All he got out of that sentence was “amo” meaning “love.” He had to assume she loved the way her new thermostat was working. The magic of batteries.

  “Yeah,” he said, and went to unlock his front door, which was...already unlocked.

  He cocked his head toward Mrs. Suarez, who was the only one other than Jo who had a spare key to his home.

  Mrs. Suarez covered her mouth and giggled.

  Hud swung open the door, and that’s when he saw her. She sat in the middle of the living room floor, Rachel on her lap. She’d created a picnic similar to the one he’d made for her the day she jumped in the lake after Rachel.

  She wore the same short white dress he loved her in. Cowgirl boots with blue inlays. Her hair was down around her shoulders, loose and wild. She looked every bit like the beautiful girl he’d fallen for all those years ago but lost due to his own stupidity. And no matter how many gray hairs and wrinkles she would one day have, he would always see her that way.

  “What’s going on?” he asked.

  “These are some of your favorite things.” Her hand swept across the blanket.

  There were two bottles of his favorite ale, a basket of oily looking French Fries from his favorite fast food place, and the king-sized cheesesteak sandwich that he loved.

  She thought everything there was bad for his health.

  “Does this mean...you’re trying to kill me slowly?”

  “No!” She laughed. “It means that you’ve always done so many nice gestures for me. The Bahamas re-creation. The picnic. And that’s just a couple from over the years. You never forget my birthday. You never forget the anniversary that my father died. From now on, I want you to have everything you want.”

  “Everything I want?” He grinned.

  “Moderation is the key.” She stood and set Rachel down to the side.

  “Hud, you have to understand. I’m a single mother and I’ve been stretched thin for years. I’m both strong and scared. Powerful and weak. But I recently discovered I don’t really need a man in my life.”

  “Um, okay.”

  She fanned her hands. “This is coming out all wrong. What I meant to say is, I don’t need a man in my life. Not just any man. I need you, Hud, because I love you. I don’t love you because I need you. Am I making sense?”

  “Yeah,” he said, taking a step toward her. “Perfect sense.”

  “Oh, whew.” She made a show of wiping at her brow. “I’m not very good at this.”

  “Eating crow is usually my job, so I’m going to cut you some slack.” Closing the small distance between them, he took her hand, raised it to his lips.

  “Actually, Jo, this goes both ways. I shouldn’t have walked away that night. I said no one could or would scare me away, and then I let you do it. My mistake.”

  “I forgive you. Now would you please forgive me and let me be your girlfriend again? I mean, I know that I’m a handful.” She kept talking as if she had to make her case. “I can be neurotic and—”

  That’s when he shut down the rest of her words with a kiss. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

  Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears, but he knew enough to know these were the “good tears.”

  “You’re a good man. I love that you were always such a good friend to me, I love how you help others, like Mrs. Suarez. And I love that you’re a real life hero.” She took a breath.

  “Do you want to know how long it took me to get over you?” Her voice broke. “Never. I never got over you.”

  She’d had his heart long ago. Hud tugged her into his arms. Yeah, it was official. He was never going to let her go again.

  Joanne gazed up at him, her green eyes shimmering. “I used to call you the fun in my life. But you’re the love of my life, Hudson Decker, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Relief flooded through him, knowing he now had everything he’d ever wanted right in his arms. He kissed the woman it seemed he’d always loved.

  In his grasp he held both his past and his future rolled into one.

  Epilogue

  Eight months later

  Joanne clutched Hud’s hand as he drove them up the hill to Wildfire Ridge. It was the first time she’d been here since the wildfire, but it was for a very good reason. There would be a wedding here today.

  A cause for celebration on the ridge.

  “Man, it looks almost spooky up here,” Hunter said from the back seat. “Bummer.”

  “Don’t worry. It’s all coming back,” Hud said, and squeezed her hand.

  In the distance, parts of the ridge were barren and battered. Desolate. Trees were missing or torn in half, black and charred. But here and there, nature was rallying. Sprigs of fresh green grass pushed through the damp earth. The early spring weather was mild after the blessedly long rainy season they’d desperately needed.

  Thankfully, J.P. would make a full recovery. Only later had Joanne found out that Hud would receive a commendation. He’d pulled J.P. away from the blast at great risk to himself. After the initial sharp pull of shock and dismay that Hud would risk his own life to save another, Joanne had moved swiftly to pride in her fiancé. She continued to work hard every day at choosing love over fear. She’d been with Hud to see J.P. several times after the fire and he’d joked about how soon he could get back to work and kick everyone’s butt at fireman’s poker. Hud told him to take it easy and enjoy the rest because when he got back, he’d be working his ass off.

  For now, weddings were in the air. Leah and her husband, David, had been married outside at Fortune Valley Family Ranch only a month ago. The dress had turned out beautifully, if Joanne said so herself. Both bride and groom were beautiful, young, and wearing matching blue. David, soldier rigid, holding his head high, proud to be marrying such a wonderful girl. She’d become very special to Joanne, too. They’d had long talks every time Leah had dropped by just to see how the dress was coming along. She’d started working part-time at The Drip and Joanne would see her there, too, every time she picked up a decaf soy latte.

  And even though Joanne had once thought she’d be married outside too, she and Hud would be married in her mother’s church. The same place her parents had married forty years ago. Hud’s parents were coming out and it was going to be a big wedding. Big enough that they’d booked the hall in town to fit everyone at the reception. She was sewing her dress, too, this
time. The “dream” dress. Everything seemed to take her a little longer these days, and even with Nora’s help, the dress would take a few months, which was fine.

  She wouldn’t need it until after the baby was born.

  Hud parked and came around the passenger side to open the door. He put down the stool they’d been using lately and offered Joanne his hand.

  “Can you make it up the rest of the way?”

  She hefted her rather large body out of the truck with Hud’s assistance, stepping on the stool and then the solid ground. Good Lord, she was huge this time. Somehow unable to break with tradition, Joanne was again pregnant before marriage. It was a little embarrassing at her age, but on the other hand, good to know all parts were still present and accounted for. Still working. When she’d found out and done the math, she estimated that she’d become pregnant the night she and Hud had reconciled. In their hurry, they’d forgotten about protection. It only took once.

  It was a happy surprise.

  Hud was ecstatic, especially when the ultrasound had revealed a girl. He’d actually proposed to Joanne before she’d even missed her period. He’d dropped to a knee on a picnic blanket in the middle of his living room. They did love their traditions. He’d given up his house and all three of them were now living together in hers. Both he and Hunter were working on the baby’s room, painting the walls pink and putting together the crib. Hunter had adjusted well, too, and was just as excited about the baby as they were. He’d been hoping for a brother, but he might still actually get one. Matt’s wife, Sarah, was newly pregnant. Plus, of course, Joanne didn’t think she wanted to stop at just one child with Hudson. She wanted at least one more.

  Joanne lumbered up the hill toward the row of outdoor seats, Hud holding one arm, Hunter the other one. Between the two of them they nearly carried her up the hill.

  “I’m good,” she protested, but neither one of them gave up until she was safely seated in a chair.

  Hunter went off to find a friend and Hud sat next to her, holding her hand. He carefully brushed a stray hair from her face, making her smile. Her best friend had turned out to be such a romantic. He claimed she brought it out of him, but he was so good at tender words and thoughtful gestures with her that it almost seemed like he’d been planning it all. Once she’d laughingly accused him of that, and he’d simply met her gaze, eyes deep and penetrating.