Trials

by Sadie Moss

  “Uh, okay.”

  There’s rustling, and then the door opens a crack and Asher hands me the dress—and my phone. “You’ve got a few texts. From your sister.”

  “Oh, thanks.”

  I can’t text while my hands are busy doing my hair and makeup, so I just call Maddy. Maybe this’ll be good timing. She can calm me down.

  I hope.

  “Hey, Mads!” I say, infusing as much false cheer into my voice as I can.

  There’s a pause on the other end, and then Maddy says, “You’re flipping out about something.”

  “What? What would make you think that?”

  “Your voice gets all high-pitched when you’re panicking.”

  Maddy hasn’t seen me panic often. I recall freaking out once when I couldn’t find the three-day-late rent check—it turned out to be underneath a plate on the coffee table, of all places. And there was another time when I lost my phone on the train. We crisscrossed all over town searching for it, and I still can’t believe we actually found it. I don’t really do panic—or at least, I never used to. Not when I had a younger sister around and wanted to be a good example for her. But we’re all human, so despite my best efforts, she has seen me lose it once or twice. And Maddy hasn’t gotten this far in life by being stupid.

  “It’s this fucking competition,” I admit, stripping down to my underwear and grabbing the razor. “I flunked the second trial like an idiot, and now I have to make a good impression at this damn ball, and you know those aren’t my thing—”

  “Um, maybe breathe or something, Ellie?”

  Only Maddy can get away with calling me Ellie. Other people have tried and paid for it dearly.

  I take a deep breath. Having my sister on the line helps. I’m used to keeping it together for her, and even though miles separate us right now, her voice in my ear helps me put on my game face.

  “Look, don’t worry about me, Mads. I know it’s going to be fine. It’s just… a lot. I didn’t expect to care this much about it. But I’m representing the whole school, and I’d like to remind the world we’re not freaks.”

  “You’ve never let anyone look down on you,” Maddy points out. “People treat Unpredictables like they’re liabilities, right? You never liked it when people treated you like that because you were taking care of me. And you hated when people would pity us. This is kind of the same thing.”

  That’s fair. I hadn’t thought of it that way.

  “Maybe if I get permission from my professors, I can come watch one of the competitions?” she asks hopefully. “Cheer you on?”

  “I’d love that. Don’t you have schoolwork and stuff though?”

  “Yeah, but I can make up my classes. I’ve been doing really well, and I won’t let myself fall behind in my homework. I promise.”

  It’s so weird to be in school at the same time as Maddy. Ever since our mom died, I’ve been doing adult things like paying bills while she’s been in school, and now we’re having the same experience with classes and finals and study groups. It’s kind of crazy.

  “Then, yeah. If you can… I’d love to see you. Of course I would.” After spending so much time with her—practically every spare moment—in our tiny one-bedroom apartment, not seeing her every day still feels odd and unsettling. I miss her like crazy.

  “I’ll do whatever I can,” she promises. “But hey, even if I’m not there, you’re not alone, right? You’ve got people. Cam and Dmitri and Asher and that teacher you’re hot for.”

  “Please don’t sing the…”

  “I’m hot for teacher!” Mads sings, off key on purpose.

  “You’re a real laugh riot.”

  She chuckles evilly. “I’m serious though. How are they doing, anyway? Has Dmitri warmed up to you?”

  Jesus. You could say that. He practically incinerated my panties, does that count?

  “He’s… uh, I don’t know. We’re working things out.”

  There’s a long silence on the other end of the line as I struggle to get my damn eyeliner right, then she asks, “Umm, how are you working those things out?”

  “I’m not sure that’s any of your business, missy,” I tell her with a hefty dose of sass.

  “And what about the teacher?”

  “Roman?”

  “Yeah, is he okay with you… hooking up with other people?”

  “He’s actually the one who brought it up. He seems… I don’t know, he seems cool with it. He told me straight out that he wouldn’t mind sharing me.”

  “Holy shit, that’s great!”

  I pause, mascara halfway to my eyelashes. “Uh. What?”

  “That’s so amazing! I mean… clearly you care about them.”

  “What gave you that idea?”

  Her eye roll is practically audible over the phone. “I saw you with all of them when I visited right before break. You can’t fool me, Ellie. You like them.”

  My cheeks flush. “I… sure, we’re close, yeah, but it’s not…” I take a deep breath and try again. “Asher and Cam have been really supportive of me. They have. And we’ve had some good heart to hearts.” And crazy-hot make-out sessions. “But it’s just—we’re friends.”

  “Doesn’t sound like it,” my little sis says softly.

  I give a snort of laughter. “Maddy. Come on. Me, dating four men? That’s insane.”

  “Is it? Plenty of people are polyamorous. I read up on it; there’s a whole community in Portland…”

  The eyeliner slips from my hand as my jaw drops. “You’ve been reading up on this!?”

  “Well, yeah, gotta read up on my sister’s interests, right? But seriously, Elliot. You’ve never let what other people think stop you from being yourself before. You do what you want.” There’s a beat, then she adds, “Or who you want.”

  Oh. My. God.

  Since when has she been the wild and crazy one? Between the two of us, I’ve always been the one more likely to take risks, to blow off steam, to have one-night stands. Maddy’s very cautious, and maybe that’s a result of our mom dying or of my protectiveness toward her, but she’s the last person I’d expect to be telling me to date four guys.

  “Mads…”

  “Hey, listen, Ellie. Just think about it. You guys seem to be getting really close, and they all like you. I bet even Dmitri does, even if he doesn’t like to show it.”

  Yeah, if only she knew.

  “I’ll think about it,” I concede, partly because I’m not sure how much longer I can have this conversation without freaking out. “And you think about coming to see me, okay?”

  “Okay. I love you.”

  “Love you too, Mads. Bunches and bunches.”

  I hang up and finish doing my makeup, then stare at myself in the mirror.

  Did that conversation really just happen?

  Am I the crazy one here, or is it everyone else? Why are the guys—and my sister—acting like it’s all so simple, like I’m the one who’s lost her mind for resisting this? Can it really be possible for me to get everyone I want, to not have to choose just one of these men and shove down my feelings for the others?

  I’m almost scared to find out.

  But now definitely isn’t the time to think about it.

  I have a ball to go to.

  Chapter 15

  When I step out of the bathroom, Dmitri and Cam have joined the party. All three of the guys changed into suits while I was hogging the bathroom and having a mini nervous breakdown, and they look… wow.

  Dmitri’s in a black suit, because of course he is. Asher’s in a dark green suit, with a slightly brighter green tie. It goes perfectly with his eyes, and it’ll get people’s attention for sure, since it’s outside of the normal colors. Cam’s wearing a dark charcoal suit that highlights the lines of his broad shoulders and lean waist and makes his golden-blond hair seem to shine even brighter.

  I stop short and gawp a little, unable to stop myself.

  They always look good, but they’ve definitely kicked it
up a notch tonight. And I like how well each of their outfit choices reflect who they are. Dmitri’s classic and sharp, Cam looks like a blond Clark Kent, and Asher is stylish with a hint of fun. Damn. I hate to admit it, but all three of them… I want them to have their way with me in those suits.

  Maybe it’s because I’m too busy staring and dreaming up dirty scenarios, but it takes me a full minute to realize the guys are staring right back at me.

  “Holy shit,” Cam croaks, never one to hide his emotions.

  I don’t have a lot of money, or a real reason to go out, which means I don’t have a lot of clothes. I have one dress on standby in case I ever need to go to a wedding or something, and then another dress for going out to a club or a dance like this. I’m not a fan of the barely thigh-length, tight, strapless, saran wrap style club dress. I like a bit of flair if I’m gonna go to the trouble of getting dressed up.

  So the dress I have on this evening is a deep blue-green. It falls nearly to the floor but has a leg slit that goes up to my thigh, and a corset bodice with straps. I think I look pretty good in it, if I do say so myself, but not good enough to warrant the absolutely saucer-eyed looks the guys are sporting right now.

  “You look like you’re about to have a heart attack,” I point out to Asher, my brow wrinkling.

  “And you look… amazing,” he murmurs back, his gaze warm and appreciative.

  I blush, feeling my face heat up. I’m not really used to genuine compliments. Men drunkenly hitting on me at the bar where I work, yeah, sure. But something like this? Not so much.

  “You guys don’t look so bad yourselves.”

  “We should get going,” Dmitri says brusquely, always one to ruin the fun. His gaze is hot on me, though, and I feel like I’m burning from it. He might not say it, but he showed his hand the other day with Roman. I know he’s attracted to me, even if our personalities still clash.

  Cam offers me his arm with a playful bow, and I laugh, taking it. Asher leads the way, with Dmitri in the rear, like he’s making sure nobody’s going to sneak up on us or anything. Which is sweet, I can appreciate it, but Dmitri’s paranoia ever since Raul’s attack kind of makes me want to get in his face and remind him that I don’t need protecting, thanks. I’m perfectly capable of handling myself.

  When we reach the ball, I’m immediately relieved that I futzed over my hair and makeup for so long. Everyone is dressed to the nines, clearly hoping to impress the professionals who are here—and who could get them jobs once they graduate. And also probably hoping to score a hot hook-up for the night.

  It’s all out on the quad, where a massive white tent has been erected. Inside, it’s like stepping into another world. The Academy of Unpredictable Magic admins clearly want to prove we’re just as good as anyone else, and Hardwick must have given orders for the staff to decorate to impress, because there are fountains of flowing chocolate, magical bubbles that chime like bells when you pop them, and softly glowing jeweled candles that float in the air over our heads.

  It’s the fanciest party I’ve ever been to, that’s for certain. For a moment, I’m speechless, just staring, and I wonder if this is how you’re supposed to feel at prom, or at your bat mitzvah, or some other special event that says hey, you’re growing up now. One of those nights you’re supposed to look back on with a fond smile as you recall all the crazy things you got up to and how magical it all felt.

  I never had anything like that. I was a loner in high school and never went to prom, and birthdays were a small affair at home since we never had much in the way of friends or money.

  For a single moment, I’m a kid all over again. Just standing in awe, wondering if fairies could possibly be real.

  Cam gently nudges me. “C’mon, Sin, it’s time to party.” His words are joking but his tone is soft.

  Asher squeezes my hand. “I’ll go get us some drinks.”

  Dmitri just rolls his eyes and stalks off. Huh.

  “Don’t mind him,” Cam says. “He hates stuff like this, but he has to come because everyone knows his family. It’d look bad if he didn’t put in an appearance.”

  I admit, at this point, I’m dying of curiosity about Dmitri’s family. They seem to be the reason for so many of his moods, for his determination, for his hard edges, and I can’t help but want to understand. But it’s none of my business unless Dmitri wants to tell me, and while he seems like he’d be perfectly happy to sleep with me—and trust me, I’m not complaining about that—he’s sure as hell showing no interest in opening up to me.

  Which, hey, is just fine by me. Last thing I need is to develop pesky feelings for Dmitri as well as the other three. My damn head is in a whirl enough as it is.

  “Wanna dance?” Cam waggles his eyebrows, gesturing toward the dance floor.

  I shake my head vigorously. Nope. Not yet. Or maybe not at all. I should probably put in some kind of effort, since I’m representing the school at this celebration as much as in any of the challenges. And that means I should… talk to people and mingle and stuff. But I need one or two doses of very strong liquid courage before I can even think about that.

  “I’ll wait for Asher to bring a drink,” I tell him. “You go on, though, if you want.”

  Cam looks doubtful, but then Professor Hartley comes up and asks if she can borrow him from me to introduce him to some colleagues, and I say of course. This is all about connections, right? I want Cam to make good ones; he needs them.

  I find a spot off to the side a bit where I can watch everyone else. That’s one of the things you get good at as a bartender: reading people.

  The professors are kind of hanging out on one end and the students on the other end. It makes me chuckle, reminding me of those middle school dances where the parents and teachers got roped into chaperoning.

  Some people are already dancing, getting into the mood, while others are breaking off into groups in order to chat—or network, more like.

  Over in one corner by the food table, I see Roman. He’s chatting with someone I don’t recognize, probably an administrator from another academy. I run my hands down the front of my dress, wondering if I should go up to them or not. I’d feel more comfortable talking—or schmoozing, let’s be honest—with someone I don’t know if Roman’s there too. I feel safe with him, just like with the other guys, and I know he’ll step in and guide the conversation if it’s needed.

  But before I can make up my mind one way or another, I notice Tamlin walking over to Roman.

  Ah, great. I’ll just stay here, then.

  I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help the twinge in my gut, the hot, guilty feeling of jealousy as she walks over. Tamlin’s a great person, and I wouldn’t blame Roman or anyone else for dating her. And I know I’ve been keeping Roman at a bit of a distance while I figure out my shit. If he were to decide I’m not worth the wait and go back to Tamlin…

  The rest of that awful, stomach-churning thought is cut off as the other school representative wanders away, leaving Tamlin and Roman alone. She’s clearly flirting with him, smiling, touching his arm, and she gestures toward the dancers.

  Oh fuck. She’s asking him to dance.

  My heart starts to sink, but then Roman shakes his head. He gently but firmly takes Tamlin’s hand off his arm and says something that makes her face fall. I can see hurt in her expression, but because she’s classy and put together and a way better person than I am, she just smiles sadly and nods.

  I feel bad for her. I can’t help myself. I want to hate her, sure, it would make my damn life easier, but I can’t. She’s a good person, and I just wish she had feelings for someone other than Roman so I could root for her instead of feeling this awful combination of elation and guilt as I watch her walk away.

  Damn it, I wish I could go up and say something to him. Show him just how much I appreciate him turning Tamlin down. Tell him how much I like him and promise I’m really working on not being so… so me. But there’s no way I could get away with that in such a public sett
ing. So I just watch him until my stare draws his attention, and when he turns to look at me, I try to put everything I’m feeling into my eyes.

  I don’t think I’m entirely successful—I’m feeling a lot.

  But maybe he picks up on some of my emotions, because his cobalt gaze softens, and an expression crosses his face that makes me think if we weren’t surrounded by people, he’d wrap me up in his arms and kiss me until we both drowned in the sweetness of it.

  Then another visiting professor claps him on the back boisterously, and the moment breaks.

  I sigh and turn around to look for the rest of the guys. Dmitri’s in a literal corner, brooding like he’s Batman or something. Seriously, what the hell? But before I can move toward him, I hear a woman’s voice saying, “So, is Cam short for something? Like Cameron?”

  Spinning in place, I spot Asher and Cam a few yards away from me, the former holding the drinks he promised, surrounded by about five girls from Zephyr Academy—the air elementalist school. Cam’s a charmer by nature, and Asher is polite, so none of the girls can tell the guys want nothing to do with them.

  Well, too bad for you, ladies. I can tell. Because I actually spend time with these guys and I know them pretty well by now. They’re not interested.

  Asher’s shoulders are stiff and he’s got his head lowered, and Cam’s smile is too wide, too fake.

  I can’t do anything about Roman. I can’t tell him how much I appreciate him choosing me, even if I’m not sure what it means yet or how to handle it. I can’t go over and request a dance with my professor.

  But I can do something about these two men.

  Something hot and possessive rises up in me before I can stop it—before I can even name it—and next thing I know, I’m striding toward them.

  Chapter 16

  The girls don’t notice me at first, but Cam and Asher do as I slide between them. I can feel both men relaxing, which tells me how stiff and uncomfortable they were until I showed up.

  “Hey!” I take Cam’s hand and slip an arm through Asher’s, tugging them both a little closer. “I’ve been looking for you two!”