Choices

by Mercedes Lackey

  “That’s all the dressmakers think I need the costumes for,” Lena agreed, “but they’re overlooking one important fact. I also need to be able to run, hide, or both well enough to escape my suitors.” She made a disgusted face. “Have you had the misfortune to encounter Lord Repulsive?”

  Sofia blinked. “Not under that name, but I wouldn’t rule it out. What does he look like?”

  “The usual. Tall, blond, chiseled features, richly dressed, thinks the rest of the world exists to serve him . . .”

  “That describes all the highborn I’ve seen lately except for the ones who have dark hair,” Sofia commented. “Of course, it’s hard to judge height if I’m up in the rigging, but there are a lot of them who look at me as if I were a delicacy at a Midwinter Feast. My father is very cross about it. That’s why he’s having two of my brothers escort me everywhere I go.”

  Lena frowned. “Is he really worried for your safety?”

  Sofia shrugged. “You know my father.”

  Lena did, and “overprotective” was the first word that came to mind. “Strict” was the second. He had taken on the responsibility of chaperoning her last summer.

  “I knew you were highborn—well, I did by the time we got to Haven, anyway,” Sofia said, “but I hadn’t realized what a prize you were until now.”

  “Sad, but true,” Lena sighed. “Even before the King told me I couldn’t avoid taking my part in the Season this time, I’ve been avoiding prospective in-laws for years. Sven-August’s mother tried to get us together over a year ago. I had just turned sixteen, and he was thirteen. Fortunately, she doesn’t like animals.”

  “What did you do to the poor woman?” Sofia asked, clearly ready to be amused.

  “Not a thing,” Lena said with her best innocent look. “Maia and I were staying in her house for a project we were working on, and Lady Efanya thought Maia was my maid instead of a fellow Novice. So I asked Maia if her friend Dexter would be willing to help me.”

  “And Dexter is . . .”

  “A raccoon.” Lena grinned impishly. “He’s very good with hair, but when one of the servants came in while he was brushing mine, she screamed loudly enough to bring in not only the housekeeper but Lady Efanya as well. I’m afraid she was a bit shocked. Seeing with her own eyes how likely I was to have animals around me all the time made me much less attractive as a daughter-in-law. And Sven-August and I regard each other more as sister and brother than as potential spouses.” She sighed. “I was actually managing pretty well until the King decided it was time for me to participate in the social season. Now I just feel like a fox with a pack of hounds after me.”

  “You’ve been fox hunting?” Sofia was incredulous. “I wouldn’t think you’d enjoy that at all.”

  “I wouldn’t enjoy it, and I haven’t been. I don’t intend to in the future, either,” Lena said firmly. “Unfortunately, Lord Repulsive thinks he’s a mighty hunter just because he can stay on a horse’s back while his hounds kill a fox. The truth is he’s a really bad shot. When he comes home with a deer, it’s the servants with him who actually shot it.”

  “They must really despise him if they talk about it.”

  “Oh, they don’t talk. Either they’re scared of his father or they like their jobs—probably the former. What he doesn’t realize is that I can understand his ‘prize bitch’ just fine, and he takes her nearly everywhere he goes.”

  * * *

  • • •

  By the end of her fifth week at Court, Lena had sorted her suitors into three categories: annoying, obnoxious, and repulsive. The ones in the annoying category weren’t bad men; they simply had no interests in common with her. If she absolutely had to, Lena thought she could tolerate marrying one of them, but she prayed the King wouldn’t ask it of her. We’re talking about the rest of my life, and that could be a long time. But maybe I could marry someone who absolutely loved to live at Court while I lived in the country. The obnoxious ones were men she wouldn’t marry under any circumstances.

  Lord Repulsive was in a category of his own. She had expected to like him when they were first introduced, mostly because he had his dog with him. She thought that meant they had a love of animals in common. But the more time she spent time in his company, the less she listened to whatever he was bragging about—he had one subject, and it was himself—and the more she “talked” to his dog Greta. Even though Greta liked her master, watching her view of his actions made Lena’s feelings change from boredom to disgust.

  The most frightening things Greta witnessed were the reports of the courtship Lord Repulsive was giving to his father. As far as Lena knew—and she had made a point of talking to the Chronicler about all her suitors—the family was highborn, respected, well-off financially, and the father was on the King’s Council. They didn’t need her or her money, and listening to them talk about her made her feel like a trophy—before they started discussing tactics that made her feel like hunted prey and start sleeping in the clothing she had worn as a flyer. At least she could move in it, and it provided more protection than a night shift.

  * * *

  • • •

  It was late, after a long evening of dancing and mindless conversation. Lena crawled into bed wanting nothing more than to stay off her feet until morning. She was starting to fall asleep when she “heard” Greta nearby.

  It took Lena so long to realize that Greta and her master were approaching her bedroom that there wasn’t time for her to escape through the hallway. Thanking all the gods that she had spent the summer doing acrobatics—and was dressed for them now—Lena ran to her window, dove out, landed with a forward roll to her feet, and ran for the Companion’s Field.

  If I get in among them, I can buy enough time to call for help. Even Repulsive won’t dare harm a Companion. The first Companion she saw was Meri, who was coming toward her.

  :Up!: Meri ordered her. After their “trick rider” act last summer, Lena didn’t even have to think. She was on Meri’s back, and Meri ran. She didn’t slow down until they were outside the gate and into the streets of Haven. :Where are we going?: she asked, slowing down as she ghosted into the back alleys.

  :Home,: Lena replied, fighting back sudden tears. :Thank you for saving me.:

  :You’re welcome,: Meri replied. She didn’t ask where home was. She didn’t have to.

  * * *

  • • •

  Lena sighed with relief as they passed through the Temple gates, and the Peace of the God fell upon them. Even Meri seemed to appreciate it. Lena slid to the ground and led Meri into the stable.

  :You should go change into your robes,: Meri suggested. :The Prior would prefer that to what you are wearing now.:

  “I’ll change after you have water,” Lena replied aloud, not expecting anyone to be in the stable at this time of night.

  “What?” a young man’s voice came from the floor. Lena discovered that her expectations were wrong; there was someone here. The reason was obvious: there was a basket with a litter of very young puppies, well cushioned by towels, next to him, and he held a puppy in his lap, hand-feeding it milk through a cloth teat.

  When did we get these? wasn’t a question; they couldn’t be more than two days old. “Where did they come from?” she asked instead.

  “A sack someone threw in the river.” Firm lips tightened in a face that Lena found attractive in the light of the lantern hanging from a bracket next to him. He looked to be maybe five years older than she was, and a furrow between his brows suggested chronic pain. He was sitting propped against the side of a stall with his legs stretched out in front of him, and she noticed a wheeled chair sitting nearby. The puppy he was feeding fell asleep so suddenly that Lena could feel it, and he switched it for another one from the basket.

  “Why did you tell your horse that you would change your clothing after you cared for her?” he asked, sounding amused. “Was she s
uggesting that you change before?” He looked at her short tunic and tight leggings. “Not that she wouldn’t be right.”

  :Of course I’m right.:

  “Yes, of course you are,” Lena shot back. “Very well, if both of you are going to gang up on me, I’ll go change.” She ran to the quarters she shared with the other women who served at the Temple. It didn’t take long to throw on Novice robes. She was back in the stable in less than ten minutes.

  Meri stood right where she had left her, and Lena quickly got her a bucket of water. “Are you hungry?” she asked.

  “Do you expect her to answer you?” the young man asked. “And where did you find a Novice’s robe?”

  “I’m sorry,” Lena said. “I guess introductions are in order. I’m Lena. I live here—most of the time, at least. This is Meri. She’s an unpartnered Companion who was kind enough to help me escape from an overzealous suitor.”

  “You had to run all the way down here in the middle of the night?” He looked at Meri, and added, “From Court?”

  “Lord Repulsive is persistent,” Lena said dryly. “He wants what he wants when he wants it, and he doesn’t care a bit what anyone else might think—especially a mere woman. He thinks I should be honored that he wants me.”

  “I’m guessing you’re not as honored as he thinks you should be.”

  “I’m just as highborn as he is, so no. It’s not as if the animals I work with care who my ancestors were. And they’re all dead, anyway.” She sat across from him, picked up another nipple from the feeding kit, and asked, “Which puppy should be fed next? Are you doing them in some order?”

  He looked nonplussed. “I’m afraid I’ve lost track. I’m mostly trying to figure out which one is awake and hungry.”

  “Right.” Lena closed her eyes and reached out with her mind, followed by her hand. “This one is the hungriest.”

  “How can you tell?” he asked, as she filled the nipple with milk and started feeding the puppy.

  “Animal Mindspeech. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work with people, so I don’t know your name.”

  “I’m sorry. Didn’t I tell you?” She shook her head. “It’s Keven. Lord Keven Crane, actually, not that it matters anymore.”

  “Crane?” Lena gasped.

  Keven winced. “You were talking about my brother Ruven, weren’t you? You’re right. He is repulsive.” He sighed. “Unfortunately, he comes by it honestly.”

  “Yes, I’ve met your father, too. He really seems to want me for a daughter-in-law. He and Ruven were talking about resorting to rape if I didn’t agree to the marriage.”

  “They said that where you could hear them?” Keven sounded incredulous as well as horrified.

  “Of course not. They were in your father’s study at the house in Haven. Greta told me.”

  “My brother’s dog?”

  “The one he takes with him just about everywhere? Yes, that Greta. I get on much better with her than I do with your brother.”

  “Any sensible person would,” Keven muttered.

  “So how did you come to be here?” Lena asked. “I’ve been stuck at Court for the past two months, so I wasn’t here when you came.”

  “They aren’t gossiping at Court?”

  “Not that I’ve heard.” Lena said. She turned to look at Meri. “Any gossip in the Companion’s Field?”

  :No. And that’s odd. There should be at least a little bit. I’ll ask around.:

  “Is there?” Keven asked.

  “Nothing that Meri has heard.” Lena shrugged. “So unless you’re willing to tell me—”

  “Riding accident,” Keven said briefly. “The Healers say that I will walk again,” he tilted his head to indicate the chair, “just not anytime soon. And they said I’d probably always have a limp, and that was enough for Father to want me out of sight. He didn’t want anyone to think deformity ran in our family and spoil Repulsive’s chance to make a good marriage.” He gave her a somewhat twisted smile. “I think I like your name for him.”

  “I should think it more likely that he’d spoil your chances,” Lena said. “Given a choice, I would definitely marry you.”

  “Really?” Keven looked surprised.

  “Aside from your father, who is presumably blinded by pride in his son, does anyone like your brother better than they like you? Dogs? Horses? Servants? Neighbors?”

  “He does have friends.”

  “He buys them lots of drinks,” Lena pointed out. “I’ve seen that much. And I’d bet he pays for other things he wouldn’t be buying in front of me.”

  Keven looked at her in confusion.

  “Have you heard the phrase ‘wine, women, and song’?”

  “He doesn’t like music much,” Kevin remarked.

  “I don’t think he likes women much, either,” Lena said tartly, “but I’m sure it doesn’t stop him from buying their services for himself and his so-called friends.”

  “Of course he likes women!” Keven sounded horrified.

  “I’m not saying he’s shay’a’chern,” Lena replied. “I’m saying that he likes women the way he likes food, rather than liking any of us as actual people. My friend Sofia complains that he looks at her as if she were a delicacy at a Midwinter Feast.”

  Keven looked down at the puppy in his lap, who had fallen asleep. He carefully put it back into the basket, and asked, “Which one needs to be fed next?”

  Lena put her now-sleeping puppy in the basket and pulled out two more, handing one to him. “Here you go.”

  Keven took the puppy and started feeding it. “Do you really think my brother is going to try to rape you?”

  “That’s why I’m here now, instead of in my rooms in the palace.” Lena shuddered. “I don’t understand it. He doesn’t care about me as a person, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have debts that he needs my money to cover.”

  “He’s greedy,” Keven said. “He and Father both. They have plenty of money, but they always want more.” He took a deep breath. “If, all gods forbid, he does manage to rape you, and you would rather marry me, I would be honored to marry you. If we consummate the marriage immediately, then if you do get pregnant you won’t have to worry about who the baby’s father is. We would probably never be able to tell the difference.”

  “I’d still have your father for a father-in-law, but at least I wouldn’t have to live with him. You are willing to live here, are you not?”

  “Within the Peace of the God?” Keven smiled faintly. “Yes, definitely. Even being crippled, I’ve felt much happier here than I did at home.”

  “I know what you mean,” Lena said. “My home was horrible after my parents died, but even now I’d rather be here than anyplace else. It’s just that as long as I’m not married, the King has to have me at Court so people don’t claim he’s keeping me unwed for his own purposes. The Queen told me that several of the men on his council have sons of an age suitable for me to marry, so there’s a lot of pressure on him this year. That’s why I haven’t complained to him. That, and the fact that things I overheard through Animal Mindspeech are not considered sufficient evidence.” She fell silent, and they continued feeding the puppies until all of them were full and sound asleep.

  Lena took advantage of the silence to question all the animals awake within the Temple and ask them what they thought of Keven. From the owls in the rafters to the horses, mules, and dogs surfacing from asleep to half-awake as her mind touched theirs, there was general agreement. Keven was kind, patient (most of the time, except when his injuries frustrated him—and even then he didn’t lash out at living creatures around him), and gentle. The animals trusted him. And if the animals trusted him . . .

  I like him better than any of my suitors at Court. Even the ones who aren’t attracted by my money—or my looks—don’t share my interests. He likes animals and he’s willing to live here, which
is more important to me than anything else. He’s highborn, so the nobles can’t complain too much . . .

  She took a deep breath. “Are you really willing to marry me?”

  He looked down at his hands. “Yes, but there’s something I should tell you first.” He was silent for several seconds and then forced out the words. “My father disinherited me.”

  Lena blinked. “Why?”

  “Because I’m a cripple.”

  “That’s crazy,” she said in astonishment, and then something occurred to her. “You know, that’s actually a point in your favor.”

  “It is?”

  “You can become part of my family instead of me become part of yours. I’m the last member of my family, so the King should approve. We can reestablish it. And your father still has Repulsive—” She grinned at him. “He said that’s what he wants, so how can he complain?”

  “He will, you know.”

  “Of course he will. But we don’t have to be there to listen. If we ask the Prior to marry us in the morning, and then I send word to the King, your father can’t even blame him.”

  “Will he blame the Prior?” Keven asked anxiously. “It would be a poor return for all his kindness to get him in trouble.”

  “Don’t worry,” Lena assured him. “I will make very certain that any blame falls on me instead of him. The Prior has been a much better father to me than my own ever was.