Hell Hath No Fury

by Annabel Chase

  “Maybe not, but sometimes I get the sense that she can feel me.” Alice shuddered. “It’s creepy.”

  Leave it to my grandmother to creep out a ghost.

  “Alice, please. Chief Fox has been turned into an actual fox and I need to know if my family is responsible and how to reverse the spell.”

  Alice gasped. “A fox? You don’t say. Why would they do that?”

  “Revenge for dating a human behind their backs.”

  “I haven’t heard them talk about magic in the past few days,” Alice said. “It’s been mostly Little Critters this and Little Critters that. And your mother was obsessing about which lingerie to wear on her date with Rudy.”

  I pressed my hands against my ears. “That’s enough of that.”

  Alice hovered by the wall. “I’ll take a quick look and see if there’s any remnants of a spell lying around. Will that suffice?”

  “Yes, thanks.” While I waited, I stripped out of my clothes and into shorts and a T-shirt for bed.

  Alice returned a few minutes later, her head poking up from the floorboards and startling me. “Nothing.”

  “Nothing at all? No spell book? No herbs?”

  The ghost shook her head. “The only evidence of magic was your mother’s cosmetic collection on her vanity.”

  “That’s not magic, that’s a miracle,” I said.

  Alice smiled. “What will you do about the chief?”

  “Nothing tonight. He’s safe at home for now. I just need to think.” I sat on my mattress and rested my elbows on my thighs, trying to drum up theories. “He’s too new to have enemies in town, don’t you think?”

  “From the sound of it, everyone adores him.”

  “What’s not to adore?” He was charming, funny, hot as hell. My cheeks warmed as I remembered our date—the part before he turned into a woodland creature.

  “Careful, Eden,” Alice said. “You walk around with a dreamy expression like that and your family will definitely suspect something.”

  I rubbed my cheeks. “I’ll go brush my teeth. I want to be up bright and early to figure this out.”

  By the time I returned to the attic, my yawns were genuine. I climbed under the sheet and hoped that the chief wasn’t too frightened. I’d left him food and water and would go back to check on him in the morning. Beyond that, there was nothing else I could do.

  “Good night, Sawyer,” I whispered into the darkness. “Sleep well.” I licked my lips and was pleased to discover that I could still taste him. I found this fact oddly reassuring as I drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Three

  “Sorry I’m late.” I hurried toward our usual booth in Gouda Nuff, the diner where I regularly congregated with my best friend Clara Riley and my frenemy, Sassy. To be fair, Sassy had grown on me since my return to Chipping Cheddar. Her friendship with Clara had opened my eyes to another side of the superficial beauty and, now that I knew the truth about Tanner, it made me feel more disposed to like her. I shouldn’t, given that the spell was done to Tanner and not Sassy. She exercised free will when she got down and dirty with my boyfriend. Still, she’d changed in the years since high school and so had I.

  “Your omelette should still be hot,” Sassy said.

  I slid into the booth beside Clara and set my napkin on my lap. “Ooh, you got me spinach and feta. Thanks.”

  Clara winked at me. “I think I know you well enough to order for you.”

  “I have complete faith in you.” I sucked down iced tea through a metal straw, just one of the diner’s efforts to become more environmentally friendly.

  “I’m going out on a limb and blaming your family for your tardiness,” Clara said. Not only was she a human gifted with the Sight, she was also an empath with the ability to feel others’ emotions. As much as I disliked my fury powers, I thought Clara’s ability was worse in many ways. She found it difficult to get too close to people. The resulting emotions were sometimes too overwhelming, so the best method of protection was limited involvement.

  “You wouldn’t be wrong. Anton dropped off Ryan on his way to an appointment, and then decided to linger. He wasn’t in much of a hurry.” I’d debated telling my brother about Chief Fox’s transformation to get his insight. Ultimately, I decided against it. If my family wasn’t behind the change, I needed to keep it quiet. I couldn’t risk the entire town discovering that their head of law enforcement was now a furry creature.

  “I saw you and Chief Fox last night,” Sassy said with a sly smile. “Working late on a Sunday, were you?”

  “Did you know that Scoop de Ville hosts senior citizens on Sundays?” I asked. I snatched a fry off the plate in the middle of the table and swiped it with ketchup before popping it into my mouth.

  Sassy wagged a finger. “Don’t try to change the subject.”

  “Is Tanner traveling this week?” I asked, ignoring her directive. I desperately wanted to confide in Clara about what happened to the chief, but there was no way I could manage it while Sassy was with us. The realization that I was keeping another secret from Sassy triggered my guilt complex. It was bad enough that the secret involving Tanner was such a doozy. Unfortunately, I couldn’t spill those magic beans without telling Sassy more than she was equipped to handle. It was best to keep her ignorance of the supernatural world firmly in place.

  “He’s back on Wednesday evening,” Sassy said. “I scheduled most of my appointments for the next three days, so that I can be around on Thursday and Friday when he’s home.” As an advertising salesperson for The Buttermilk Bugle, the local newspaper, Sassy used her considerable charm to land advertising contracts for an otherwise dying institution.

  “You’re more accommodating than I’d be,” Clara said. “That schedule interferes with binge-watching my favorite shows.”

  Sassy nibbled on the end of a fry. “Gee, I can’t imagine why you’re still single.” She swiveled her head in my direction. “The question is—are you?”

  “Nice try,” I said.

  “Where’d you sleep last night?” Sassy eyed my purple top. “You weren’t wearing that when I saw you yesterday, so you must’ve changed.” She gripped my arm. “Unless you’re already keeping clothes at his place. Are you?”

  “That’s a no.” The only thing I was keeping at his place was a bowl of food and water. I’d gone by earlier to check on him. He’d looked so mournful that I couldn’t bear to stay very long. I promised him that I was doing everything in my power to turn him back. He’d curled up in a ball and tucked his head underneath the fluff of his tail.

  “Well, if you’re not getting it on by now, you should be,” Sassy said. “As much as it pains me to admit it, you two have incredible chemistry.”

  “Thank you for your support,” I said.

  “Seriously,” Sassy persisted. “You’re both single. He’s hot and you’re vaguely attractive. What’s the problem?”

  “You know what the problem is,” I said. “FBI regulations. I can’t date the chief of police. It’s a conflict of interest.”

  “Like they’ll come and check on your love life,” Sassy said with a halfhearted roll of her eyes. “They have more important things to do like…” She trailed off. “What does the FBI do again?”

  “Arrest people that annoy us,” I said, flashing a bright smile.

  “I’ve got a meeting with the mayor in half an hour to ask for access to the town archives,” Clara said, in an effort to change the subject.

  “Big story?” I asked. Clara was a reporter for the paper, which is how she and Sassy became friends during my absence. Although I’d reacted poorly to the change at first, we were all in a much better place now.

  “I convinced Cal to let me write a story about the secret club for Puritan families,” Clara said. “Ever since you mentioned it, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.”

  “I can ask…” I nearly said ‘Alice,’ but quickly stopped myself. Sassy had no idea that I could communicate with our resident ghost. “Grandma. Sh
e’s as old as the hills. She might know something.”

  Clara suppressed a smile. She knew perfectly well that I meant Alice. “Any help you can offer would be great. I figure town records are a good starting point.”

  “It helps that Mayor Whitehead isn’t from here originally,” I said. “She won’t have the same desire to keep the club secret.” Wilhelmina Whitehead moved from Sarasota for her husband’s job and fell in love with our idyllic town, so much so that she decided to run for mayor.

  “Who would want to belong to a stuffy old club for Puritans anyway?” Sassy asked. “What do they do—sit around judging people for their loose morals?”

  “That’s pretty much half my neighborhood,” Clara said. “No club required.”

  “It’s probably a status symbol,” I said. “A way of feeling superior to others.” I’d learned about the club from Farley Twisse, a descendant of one of the original Puritan settlers of Chipping Cheddar. His family had once owned acres of waterfront land and Farley now owned the miniature golf course with a view of the bay. He’d told me that other descendants of the Puritan families were in a secret club. Farley wasn’t a member because, like his father, he was more interested in being a good businessman, which meant inclusivity over exclusivity.

  “I want to know why it’s a secret,” Clara said. “What do they do in their meetings that it has to stay private? Is there a secret handshake?”

  “I’m surprised Cal didn’t know more about it,” I said. The owner of The Buttermilk Bugle, Calybute Danforth, also hailed from a founding family and he and Gilbert Twisse had been friends.

  “You know Cal,” Clara said. “He did that thing with his eyebrows, but otherwise seemed disinterested.”

  “At least he doesn’t have you covering the middle school soccer game,” I said.

  Clara gnawed on a fry. “That’s why I suggested the story. If he’s not going to assign me interesting ones, then I figure I’d better start rooting them out for myself.”

  “Good for you,” Sassy said. “Spoken like a true witch.”

  Clara and I exchanged panicked looks. “Excuse me?” I said. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Sassy flicked a dismissive finger. “It’s not an insult. It’s a feminist thing. Being a witch means hexing the patriarchy and refusing to be marginalized. It’s totally a compliment.”

  The relief in Clara’s eyes reflected my own. “Cheers to that,” Clara said, and raised her glass of iced tea. Sassy and I tapped our glasses to hers.

  “We’re all witches,” Sassy said. Her smile quickly turned into a frown. “I can’t say it in front of Gale though. She got an attitude when I mentioned it to her.”

  I laughed. “Tanner’s mom is definitely not someone willing to embrace her witchy side. She worships Tanner too much to want to overthrow the patriarchy.” According to Gale Hughes, Tanner could walk on water, turn water into wine, and bring home the bacon.

  Sassy played with the coleslaw on her plate. “I worry that I’ve fallen into the same trap. I need to be more of a witch.”

  “You don’t worship Tanner,” Clara said.

  “No, but I do have a tendency to let him have his way all the time,” she said. “I’m much tougher when it comes to other people. When it’s Tanner, I sort of cave.”

  “It’s different when you love someone,” Clara said.

  “Maybe, but should it be?” Sassy gulped down the rest of her water. “I mean, everything’s fine. I’m not trying to act like it isn’t.” She wiped her hands on her napkin. “Forget I said anything.”

  “I like the witch idea,” I said. As long as there was no black magic involved, I was fully on board with witches of any and all varieties.

  “We could start our own secret coven,” Sassy said. I could tell by her tone that she meant it as a joke. If only she knew.

  The door opened and a familiar sight entered the diner. “And now I wish I hadn’t eaten so much because I want to hurl,” I said.

  Deputy Sean Guthrie immediately zeroed in on our booth and he sauntered over. “How’s it going, ladies?”

  “How’s it going with you, Sean?” Sassy greeted him. She and Sean had remained friendly since high school, whereas the red-headed deputy and I were barely tolerant of each other.

  “Had to order my lunch to go,” he said. “Calls are keeping me busy and the chief is MIA.”

  Clara shot me a quizzical look. “MIA?”

  I snapped my fingers. “Oh, right. I should’ve told you.”

  Sean narrowed his eyes. “Told me what?”

  “Chief Fox was in to see my sister-in-law,” I said. “He’s pretty sick and Verity said it’s highly contagious so he needs to be left alone until he recovers.”

  Sean scratched the back of his head. “What does he have?”

  “That’s confidential,” I said. “Can’t breach privacy laws, Deputy Guthrie. You should know better than that.”

  “You just told me he was sick and it’s contagious,” he shot back.

  “There are exceptions for emergencies and this qualifies,” I said. When it came to Sean, the more authoritative you sounded, the more likely he was to back down. One of several reasons he’d never become chief.

  He grimaced. “Well, I hope he gets better fast because this job definitely requires more than one person.” His phone buzzed and he groaned. “It’s been nonstop.” He clicked the screen and held the phone to his ear. “Deputy Guthrie.”

  Clara pressed on my foot under the table and I knew she was dying to know what was going on.

  “Later,” I mouthed.

  Sean tucked away the phone. “Looks like I’ll be eating in the car. Some woman’s hysterical about an enormous snake on the loose in her yard.”

  I froze. “How enormous?”

  “She said she, her cat, and her refrigerator were likely in danger.”

  I wiped my mouth with a napkin. “I’m coming with you,” I said. Charlemagne was big enough to strike the fear of the gods into anyone. Given that they’d recently moved in to their renovated home, it was possible that the snake had escaped and was trying to find his way back to my mother’s house.

  “I don’t need a federal agent to accompany me on official calls,” he said. “I’m not the chief.”

  “No, you’re definitely not,” I said, “but if this snake is Charlemagne, you’re going to want me there. He won’t answer to you.”

  “I don’t need him to answer to me. I’ll call Animal Control and let them kill it.”

  “On second thought, he likes the taste of gingers,” I said. “Maybe I’ll leave you to hunt him down on your own.”

  Sean didn’t seem to know whether I was joking. I decided to put him out of his misery. No matter how much I wanted to torture him, I needed the deputy in good condition while the chief was indisposed.

  I tossed cash on the table. “Sorry to eat and run, girls, but I’m clearly needed. We’ll catch up later.”

  Clara gave me a pointed look. “We’d better.”

  I stood and faced the deputy. “Do you have any Cheez-Its?”

  Sean scrunched his face. “Do I look like I’m twelve?”

  “More like fourteen because of the acne.” I paused. “I didn’t realize snack foods had an age limit.”

  “Why do you care?”

  “Charlemagne loves Cheez-Its. I thought we could leave a trail like breadcrumbs and see if it’s him.”

  “We can stop at the store on the way,” Sean said. He aimed a finger at me. “But you’re paying.”

  I held up my hands. “Relax, Deputy Huckleberry. I’ll fork over the big bucks for the bait.”

  Clara leaned on her elbows and regarded us. “You know, there are a lot of odd couple, buddy cop movies I’d pay good money to watch, but this pairing isn’t one of them.”

  Sean took a step away from me. “No need to worry about that. This is official business only. If it goes smoothly, I won’t issue a citation for the rampaging snake.”

  “Charlemagn
e doesn’t rampage,” I said indignantly. “He’s more of a smooth operator. He can sneak up on you better than a ninja. He likes to steal my niece’s butterscotch candies.”

  Sean stared at me. “The snake likes candy?”

  “He’s also partial to the strawberry ones with the jelly center,” I continued. The more horrified he looked, the more I wanted to keep talking. “They crunch just like a cockroach but with a strawberry flavor. What’s not to love?”

  “Remember that time he got into your grandmother’s laxatives?” Clara threw her head back and laughed. “What a disaster!”

  My stomach turned at the memory. “I hadn’t seen my mother that angry since she and my father’s fight over their divorce settlement.”

  “Your grandmother wasn’t happy either,” Clara said gleefully. “She was still constipated.”

  The seat vibrated and I realized that Sassy was shaking with laughter. “Now I want a pet snake,” she said.

  Sean cringed. “None of that is encouraging. We should probably hurry.”

  Chapter Four

  Sean took the lead and knocked on the door of the hysterical middle-aged woman. Half a face appeared in the opening crack. “Ms. Worthington, I’m Deputy Sean Guthrie. You called about a snake.”

  “It’s Eloise. Calling me Ms. Worthington makes me sound old, which I’m not. A few extra pounds and mood swings are totally normal for a woman of any age.” The gap widened as she yanked the door open the rest of the way. “Come in. Hurry.” She peered around us. “I think it’s lurking.” She ushered us inside and slammed the door in a hurry.

  “Can you describe the snake?” I asked.

  She looked me up and down. Her blond, chin-length hair had a slight wave to it and her green eyes were so pale they reminded me of a stained-glass window.

  “Who are you? Animal control?”

  “Eden might be the owner of the snake,” Sean said. “I thought it best to have her with me.”

  “Technically, my niece is the owner.”

  “How old is your niece?” Eloise asked.