The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf

by Martin Millar

  Now this feels even weirder. There are three Fire Elementals at the table. What if they’re all talking about Fire Elemental stuff? I’ll be left out.

  Although, as Daniel studied his target, it didn’t seem as if Lady Gezinka was talking about anything. She was indeed stern-faced. She looked around thirty years old, though Daniel knew that looks were no real indication of an elemental’s age. When Daniel first met the Fire Queen, he’d thought she was in her twenties, but she was hundreds of years old, possibly thousands.

  I don’t like the way she’s sitting rigidly in that chair, thought Daniel. Nothing good ever comes from sitting as rigidly as that.

  Gezinka was not unattractive, though she had neither the youthful beauty of Agrivex nor the overwhelming glamour of the Fire Queen. There was nothing otherworldly about her. Here in the ballroom she appeared to be simply a thirty-year-old woman, Indian perhaps, or North African, who’d dressed properly for a formal dance but was rather bored with the proceedings.

  Daniel realized he’d come to a halt. He reprimanded himself. It’s time to stop dithering. I have a mission.

  He took a step forward. I’m not very good at talking to women I don’t know. And this is even worse. What am I meant to say?

  His nerve deserted him. He turned and walked rapidly in the opposite direction.

  “Is there a bar near here?” he asked one of the liveried attendants.

  “Waiters will come to your table, sir.”

  “I know. But is there a bar near anyway?”

  The attendant directed Daniel toward the nearest bar, of which there were several in the hotel. Close to the entrance, he almost bumped into Moonglow. He was relieved to see she wasn’t with her date.

  “Moonglow, I need help! I don’t know what to say to Gezinka.”

  “I’m in a hurry, I’ve got a mission. Just talk to her normally.”

  “What about?”

  “Anything.”

  “Like what? She won’t have seen any of my favorite TV programs, will she? And she’s probably never heard any death metal bands.”

  “Well, that’s never really been a good subject anyway,” said Moonglow. “Tell her you like her dress, that’ll get you started.”

  With that, Moonglow hurried off. Watching her go, Daniel was struck by how much he liked her dress. He wished he’d told her.

  This is hopeless. I can’t talk to Lady Gezinka. Dominil should have thought of that before sending me on such a difficult mission. Her planning is useless. Daniel gratefully ordered a bottle of beer, but winced when he learned the price. It seemed like a staggering sum for a small bottle. He drank it down quickly, and ordered another.

  CHAPTER 93

  Moonglow kept her head down as she approached Distikka’s room, hiding her face from the security cameras that, she feared, were recording her movements.

  I never had to hide from security cameras before I met werewolves.

  Moonglow knocked on the door of room 438. There was no reply. She produced the passkey but hesitated. Am I really about to burgle a hotel room? I’ve never committed a crime before.

  Moonglow steeled herself, then opened the door to Distikka’s hotel room. To her great relief, there was no one there.

  “Search the room and get out quickly,” she said to herself. Moonglow had no idea what she’d do if Distikka were to return while she was still in her hotel room. It didn’t bear thinking about.

  Dominil and Distikka were the last remaining couple in the west reception room.

  “Everyone has gone through to the ball,” said Distikka. “Perhaps you should join your companions?”

  “I’m content to remain here.”

  “Really? You find me such good company?” Distikka laughed. “I think you’re trying to detain me, Dominil. Probably because the Fire Queen is trying to study the contents of my room. You’re wasting your time. The Empress has protected all our rooms. They can’t be penetrated by sorcery.”

  “I do find you reasonable company,” said Dominil. “It’s a long time since I had a tolerable conversation about sculptures.”

  Distikka stood up. “Perhaps we can continue it later. But now I have a pressing engagement.”

  They bade each other a polite farewell. Dominil watched impassively as Distikka left the reception room. As soon as she was gone, Dominil took out her phone and composed a rapid text message to Moonglow, warning her that Distikka was coming. The Empress Kabachetka might have protected their rooms from sorcery but, as Dominil had anticipated, neither she nor her advisers were up to date with Earth’s technology. It had not occurred to them that Dominil might be able to duplicate hotel passkeys.

  On the fourth floor of the hotel, Moonglow was methodically searching Distikka’s room. Dominil had told her to look out for written material, any sort of note, diary and anything else of interest. Moonglow hurried through the small suite, checking cupboards, shelves and cabinets. She hadn’t found anything of interest, apart from some chain mail hanging in a wardrobe.

  Nothing so far, she thought. Where else might a diary be? What sort of secret place?

  Moonglow decided to check under the mattress. She was just bending down to search when she heard a passkey being inserted in the door. The door swung open. Moonglow did the only thing possible under the circumstances and dived under the bed. She held her breath. Could a Fire Elemental like Distikka sense the presence of a human being? Moonglow didn’t know. If she was discovered hiding under the bed, it was going to be the most embarrassing experience of her life.

  Distikka and a man, whose voice Moonglow didn’t recognize, were engaged in conversation as they entered the room. Beneath the bed, Moonglow could hear them quite clearly.

  “So I’m not going to be able to talk to the Empress?”

  “I’m afraid not. The Empress will not allow anything to distract her from the ball.”

  “Hardly worth me coming in that case.”

  “I wouldn’t say that, Mr. Eggers. I have full authority in all matters relating to the MacRinnalch werewolves. I can bring you up to date, and I can give you some information you weren’t expecting.”

  “What’s that?”

  “There are werewolves here tonight.”

  “What? Are you serious?”

  Moonglow was startled by the vehemence in the man’s voice.

  “I am. Queen Malveria decided to infiltrate the ball, for her own reasons. She came in the company of Thrix, Dominil and Kalix MacRinnalch.”

  “What’s the Empress doing about it?”

  “The Empress won’t risk causing trouble at her ball. Not with the editor of Vogue sitting beside her.”

  “So you’re just planning on doing nothing?”

  “The Empress has no obligation to do anything,” said Distikka. “Werewolves are your business, not hers. The Empress has agreed to help you if she can. That’s doesn’t mean she’s obliged to act every time a werewolf shows its face.”

  “So are you telling me the Guild can’t do anything either?”

  There was a pause. Moonglow held her breath.

  “Not exactly,” said Distikka. “But the Empress won’t appreciate anything happening that might cast her in a bad light. Violence in the hotel is out of the question.”

  “What about outside the hotel?

  “That would be up to you,” said Distikka.

  “I should talk to Mr. Carmichael.”

  “Again, that is up to you. Would you mind accompanying me to the next suite? I have to send a message to Alchet, the Empress’s handmaiden.”

  Moonglow heard them leaving. The moment they’d gone she rolled out from under the bed, intent on making a swift escape. She had a brief, rather irrelevant moment of worry about her evening gown.

  I hope I haven’t ruined it. But it seemed clean under the bed, she thought. Good cleaning staff.

  Moonglow peeped out of the door. Seeing no one in the corridor, she fled toward the elevator. Realizing that waiting for it to arrive might be too risky, she
hurried past and flung herself through the door that led to the stairs. Moonglow felt a sense of elation. Not only had she been spying, she’d encountered the enemy, evaded them and escaped with valuable information

  I knew I’d be a good spy, she thought, and hurried as quickly as she could to report her findings to Dominil.

  CHAPTER 94

  Kalix hurried into the gardens. They were empty, apart from two security men at the door and one young couple on a bench who were engaged in an embrace. Kalix avoided them. The grounds sloped down toward the river. Noticing that there were more security men at the perimeter, Kalix turned into the nearest clump of bushes. There she was sick, quite violently.

  She wiped her mouth and stood up. Kalix was often sick. Sometimes stress brought it on. Sometimes the feeling that she’d eaten too much, though that was less frequent these days. Now that it had happened, she felt better. She wondered if she might slip further into the darkness and change into her werewolf shape for a few minutes, to regain her strength.

  “You can never just act normally, can you?” came a voice, very unexpectedly.

  “Decembrius! What are you doing here? Are you following me?”

  “I knew you’d say that,” said Decembrius. Still as a werewolf, he remained in the shelter of the bushes. Kalix thrust herself into the bushes, changing into her own werewolf shape.

  “How dare you follow me?! Don’t spy on me!”

  “I wasn’t spying on you. Dominil asked me to keep guard out here.”

  Kalix looked at him suspiciously. “She didn’t tell us that.”

  “I can’t help that. What’s your problem? Too much wine already?”

  “No,” said Kalix angrily. “I just got nervous with so many people around.”

  “So you thought you’d be sick?”

  “What if I did? It’s none of your business.”

  “You really ought to sort yourself out,” said Decembrius. “Is that blood on your arm?”

  “Yes.”

  “You must have been a great model.”

  “I did all right.”

  They looked at each other quite hostilely.

  “So how’s the new boyfriend?” said Decembrius. “Good dancer?”

  “What do you mean ‘new boyfriend’?”

  “The pretty boy.”

  “He’s not here and it’s none of your business anyway. I knew you’d been following me.”

  “I wouldn’t waste my time,” said Decembrius. “If you want to go out with a painter who looks like a little girl, that’s your affair.”

  Kalix’s eyes flashed. “He doesn’t look like a little girl.”

  “Yes, he does.”

  “So what? Better than some stupid werewolf who just wants to fight all the time.”

  Decembrius laughed. “That’s rich, coming from you, Violent Werewolf of the Year.”

  “Leave me alone,” said Kalix. “And stop following me.”

  With that, Kalix retreated from the bushes, changing smoothly back to human. She felt refreshed from the brief change.

  I wish Manny was here, she thought as she made her way back toward the hotel. That would show that idiot Decembrius.

  They had an arrangement to meet tomorrow night. Kalix smiled. She still liked Manny a lot. She wanted this whole night to be over so she could forget about the MacRinnalchs and visit Manny in his small flat and watch television together. She already felt comfortable doing that.

  Kalix noticed some odd looks from the security guards at the door as she went back inside. Because of her outfit, she supposed. She did stand out from all the other women in ball gowns. While Kalix wasn’t all that keen on wandering round in her skimpy clothes, she was relieved that she hadn’t been obliged to wear a long dress. She’d probably have tripped over it, or ripped it somehow. She made her way back through the west reception room, arriving at the door to the ballroom at the same time as Moonglow.

  “Where’s Dominil?” said Moonglow.

  Kalix didn’t know. At that moment Daniel arrived.

  “Daniel, aren’t you meant to be being nice to Gezinka?” said Moonglow.

  “It took a short break to compose myself,” said Daniel.

  “And drink a few beers?”

  “That as well.”

  The three of them entered the ballroom. At that moment the lights went up and there was a loud public announcement.

  “The Princess Morozov.”

  Princess Morozov swept into the room, followed by several attendants. Younger and blonder than she had anticipated, she reminded Moonglow of William’s mother. Everyone in the ballroom stood up.

  “Time for the curtsey,” whispered Moonglow. She did the required motion, quite well. Kalix’s attempt was so hopeless that Daniel burst out laughing.

  “That was the worst curtsey ever.”

  “You can’t really do it wearing shorts,” Kalix defended herself.

  “Yours was good,” said Daniel to Moonglow. “Now where’s this Gezinka? I’ve got a handle on it now. It’s like she’s some lonely middle-aged lady and I’m just the sort of young man she needs to cheer her up. Why wouldn’t she be pleased to meet me? I’m a model. I expect I’ll just sweep her right off her feet.”

  “How many beers did you have?” asked Moonglow.

  “Five. You wouldn’t believe how expensive they were. Do you think Dominil will reimburse me?”

  “There’s Dominil,” said Moonglow, who’d spotted her white hair in the middle of the room. “I need to talk to her.”

  Daniel, Dominil and Moonglow advanced through the ballroom, ready to engage on the next part of their mission.

  CHAPTER 95

  Vex, by dint of her refusal to believe that anyone would be unwilling to talk to her, had succeeded in winning over Adviser Bakmer. Aided by liberal doses of champagne, they were now engaged in animated conversation, having bonded over the dullness of traditional Fire Elemental clothing.

  “Can you believe how terrible the fire wrap is?” said Vex. “I had to wear one for my adoption ceremony. What a stupid uncomfortable garment!”

  Bakmer, who had started his diplomatic career as a fashion adviser to Kabachetka, was sympathetic.

  “They’re so ugly! And what about the fire cloak? Terrible. I watched thirty young Hainusta receive their military commissions last week and all I could think was how ridiculous their cloaks were.”

  “I hate fire cloaks,” agreed Vex. “Malveria might be all fashionable here, but when it comes to palace officials, ladies-in-waiting and beloved nieces, she’s a real stick in the mud.”

  “The Empress is no better!” agreed Bakmer with feeling. “The antiquated outfits of her attendants are simply disgraceful.”

  Vex and Bakmer finished off the bottle of champagne and ordered another.

  “I do love your boots,” said Bakmer.

  “Thrix designed them. So when does this dance get started?”

  “Any moment,” said Bakmer. “Here comes the Princess now.”

  “It’s curtsey time,” cried Vex, and stood up to curtsey enthusiastically, though not very well. Beside them, Lady Gezinka performed the move perfectly. Since joining them at the table, Gezinka had hardly spoken a word. She plainly did not approve of Vex, or, by the look on her face, of anything else. As the Princess took her seat, the orchestra began to play. Couples stood up to dance.

  “There’s Daniel!” screamed Vex. “Daniel, over here!”

  Daniel was caught in the middle of the dance floor. He barged into several dancers as he made his way over, and sat down looking quite flustered.

  “Hi, Daniel,” cried Vex. “Gezinka, this is Daniel. He lives with me. He knows we’re elementals. Daniel, see if you can cheer Gezinka up, she’s looking a bit miserable.”

  Vex turned back to Bakmer. Daniel blushed. Lady Gezinka looked down her nose at him.

  “I have not seen a man blush for a long time. In my land, it is not done.”

  “It happens to me quite a lot,” admitted Daniel.
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  Unexpectedly, Lady Gezinka smiled. “You live with Agrivex?”

  Daniel nodded. “We’re flatmates. There are four of us.”

  “That must be . . . trying.”

  “It is, sometimes. And crowded. But it’s quite cheerful as well.”

  Lady Gezinka turned to examine Vex for a moment, then spoke again to Daniel. “I cannot imagine what your life is like. You say it is crowded?”

  “It’s quite a small flat.”

  “What is ‘flat’?”

  “Like a house. But smaller. We live above a shop.”

  “How strange. What does it sell?”

  “Nothing, it’s been boarded up since we got there. Where do you live?”

  “In the palace of the Empress Kabachetka.”

  “That sounds nice.”

  “It is,” said Lady Gezinka. “Although . . .” She paused. “It can be . . . Never mind. I saw you modeling clothes, is that something you normally do?”

  “No, I was just doing it as a favor. I’m a student.”

  Daniel wasn’t finding it nearly as difficult to talk to Lady Gezinka as he’d imagined. He seemed to have broken the ice by blushing. Which, he remembered without much pride, had also served him well the first time he’d encountered Queen Malveria. Elemental ladies seemed to find it amusing.

  Dominil and Thrix listened closely as Moonglow described the events in Distikka’s room.

  “So, Mr. Eggers is here,” said Dominil. “Thrix, it’s time for you to go into action. I wonder if he will indeed call for assistance?”

  Thrix and Dominil had both thought it unlikely that they’d encounter other hunters, knowing that the Empress wouldn’t want the ball to become a battleground. In the light of Moonglow’s report, they were no longer quite so sure.

  “I’ll find out if any more are on the way,” said Thrix. “And I’ll warn Decembrius to be alert.”

  “I wonder how Distikka intended to transmit a message to the handmaiden Alchet, given that she’s in the Empress’s palace?”