Fishers of Men

by Gerald N. Lund

  VI

  Livia turned on her side so that her face was close to Miriam’s. “Are you still awake?” she whispered.

  Miriam’s eyes opened immediately, and she nodded. “I’m far too excited to sleep.”

  “Me, too.” Livia went up on one elbow. They were lying on the only bed in one of the back sleeping rooms of Jephunah’s house. Leah and Deborah were on a straw mattress on the floor across from them. The two of them had insisted on taking the floor and giving the bed to the two who were carrying children, even though both Livia and Miriam had tried to protest. As Livia studied the two figures, she could see that their breathing was deep and even.

  The previous night all of the women of the family had been in the room together, but once there was no need for further burial preparations many of the group had returned to be with their families. Thus, it was no longer necessary to crowd so many people into each room. Rachel and Hava were in the next room with some of the others. That was good, for Livia had been hoping for a chance to be alone with her friend.

  “Tell me again, Miriam. Tell me everything.”

  Miriam smiled, not minding it at all. She found reliving the whole experience to be rejuvenating. And besides that, as the other women had gathered in around Mary and the seven of them, eagerly pressing for details, Miriam had realized that this was a special trust the eight of them had received. It was only right that they share it with the others.

  So she began, speaking in soft whispers so she wouldn’t awaken the other two. Livia listened quietly, not interrupting once until Miriam reached the point where she had backed out of the tomb and dropped to her knees at the sight of two angels.

  “So they were angels,” Livia said.

  Miriam was a little surprised. “Of course.”

  “Before, you just talked about two personages, or two men dressed in white.”

  “They were standing in the air, Livia.”

  Livia’s eyebrows shot up. “Really? You didn’t say that before.”

  “I didn’t? Well, they were. I remembered looking at their feet. That’s when I knew they weren’t beings who lived on this earth.”

  Livia blushed a little. “I’ve always thought the Jewish concept of angels to be a little strange. I guess I never really could picture them as being real.”

  “Well, these were real. They were glorious, Livia. It was like . . .” She stopped, looking for some way to express it adequately. “It was like being ushered into a room filled with the softest, most beautiful music, the most exquisite perfumes, the most elegant tapestries and furniture.” Then she shook her head. “That doesn’t describe it either. But it was marvelous. Even now, just thinking of being in their presence makes me shiver with pleasure.”

  “And they told you that Jesus was risen?”

  “Actually, only one of them ever spoke to us, but yes. And he told us to hurry back and tell the rest of you.”

  “Oh, Miriam,” she exclaimed softly. “Do you think there is any chance that I might see him too?”

  “Why not?” she said, not sure if she should be making such a promise.

  “Go on. The angels disappeared, and then what happened?”

  Miriam paused, struggling with her emotions. It stirred her deeply to even try to put what had happened into words. But she managed to keep her voice steady as she told Livia about seeing the stranger standing near the path in front of them, about their initial fear, and then how they had recognized him as he stepped into the light. At that point, she couldn’t hold back, and she had to tell her the rest of it through her tears.

  For a long time, Livia lay there, staring up at the ceiling, her own eyes glistening. “Thank you,” she finally murmured.

  Miriam reached out and squeezed her hand, guessing at her thoughts. “You will see Yehuda again, Livia. And he will be the Yehuda you know, the Yehuda you love. He will get to meet this child, and someday your child will get to meet his or her father.”

  “I know,” she whispered huskily. “I know.”

  Again the silence stretched on for some time as Livia lay back and closed her eyes, trying to picture what Miriam had described for her.

  “Tell me,” Miriam asked after several moments had passed. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  Livia’s eyes opened, then closed again as she chose her words with care. “Since Yehuda died, I have dreaded the rest of my life. Yes, I knew that some part of Yehuda was still alive, but I never pictured him still being there, not the Yehuda I knew. He was, in my mind, like some cosmic angel, some being I might not even recognize when I finally saw him. Now, life holds no more fear for me. Even if I live another fifty or sixty years, I can bear it, for I know that someday I will see him again. And he will have a body, just as I will have a body.”

  Her voice choked for a moment. She fought it back, then finished very quietly. “When we meet again, I know that he will take me into his arms and hold me tight. And that makes everything all right now.”

  VII

  The house of Jephunah was mostly quiet. David ben Joseph stood beneath the deep shade of a fig tree and looked around. Many of the disciples had left once it became clear that they were not needed any longer. Benjamin and Esther returned to Bethlehem. John had taken Mary, the mother of Jesus, and her sons to where he and James were staying so she could rest. Others had simply returned to their families to complete the Passover holy days.

  With all of that, the numbers were now less than half of what they had been the previous night. The women were inside the house resting. The men were outside doing the same. Most of them had found places in the shade and were sound asleep. Aaron had finally been able to lay aside his questions about Jesus for the moment and was snoring softly. The events of the day had not been enough to keep Simeon and Ephraim awake, but they were too much for David. He had tried to sleep but had quickly given up on the idea. He stood in the shade and idly gazed forward, his mind repeating all that he had heard.

  Once the report of the women had been heard, Peter and the rest of the apostles called a hurried meeting of the brethren to determine what their next course of action would be. Any thoughts of immediately leaving Jerusalem had been put aside. They would stay in the area for at least a few more days, until they knew for sure what was going on. Could it be that Jesus had really risen from the dead? That was the central question, and it was vigorously discussed. Aaron was not the only one struggling with what he had heard. Several others were also trying to sort it out. And even if it was true, then what? What did it mean for Peter and the other apostles? Was their work over? Had it just begun?

  The whole experience had left David with a dozen questions too, and he wasn’t sure what course of action he should take. He longed to return to Capernaum and let life settle back to normal, but if Peter and John and Andrew were—

  A movement caught his eye, and he turned to see Peter appear out of nowhere. He was rubbing at his eyes. He stretched, then quietly found a secluded bench and sat down. So he had not been able to sleep either, David thought. Glad for an opportunity to speak with his longtime friend, David left the shade and walked over.

  “Quite a day,” he said as he sat down beside him.

  Peter nodded but said nothing. He seemed pensive, almost melancholy.

  “It will work itself out,” David suggested. “Things have happened pretty fast this morning. We all need some time to let it ruminate.”

  “Do you believe it?” Peter asked abruptly.

  David didn’t hesitate. “I do. Deborah is the most honest person I know. If she says it happened, then I know it happened.”

  “Yes, Anna too.”

  “And Miriam. If there was even a question in their minds. If only one had seen it. If any of them expressed even one tiny sliver of doubt about what they saw, then . . .” He shrugged. “No, I believe them. I can’t fully comprehend all that it means, but I believe them.”

  “As do I.” Peter’s mouth pulled down. “But I fully empathize with what Aaron is
going through. He can’t disbelieve—not when his own sister and niece are so adamant about their experience—and yet he can’t bring himself to fully accept it either. It is too . . . too—” He threw up his hands.

  “Too unbelievable,” David finished for him.

  “Yes! It is too joyous, too wonderful, too perfect to be true. Life doesn’t turn out like this, David. Tragedies don’t turn into triumphs. Loss doesn’t become gain. One moment I’m saying, ‘It has to be true,’ and the next, I’m shaking my head and saying, ‘How could such a thing be?’”

  “We cannot believe for the joy of it,” David suggested. “That’s it, isn’t it.”

  When Peter only nodded, David added another thought that had been troubling him all afternoon. “And because of that,” he said wistfully, “we are all a little envious of these women, aren’t we.”

  Peter grunted. “What makes you say that?”

  David was taken aback by the dismay he saw on his friend’s face. “Well, aren’t you? Doesn’t it make you just ache to have been there too?”

  “I was there,” Peter replied softly.

  Now it was David who was surprised. “You were?”

  “At the tomb,” Peter explained. “John and I were at the tomb.” He sighed, and it was a sound of pain. “So why didn’t Jesus appear to us? Why didn’t John and I see those angels? It couldn’t have been but a few minutes difference between our being there and Mary and the women. Did we simply have the misfortune of bad timing?”

  His hands came up, and his fingers began to massage his temples. “We are his apostles, David. Supposedly, we are his leaders . . .” His voice trailed off. Then almost to himself, he added, “I can’t speak for John and the others, but I think I know why I wasn’t privileged to see him. I think I know exactly why.”

  “Peter, I—”

  But Peter stood up abruptly. “Luke and Cleopas are going to Emmaus. I promised I would see them off. Then I’m going for a long walk.” He managed a smile as he looked down at David. “Don’t fret about me, old friend. Jesus is alive. That’s all that matters. He is alive again.”

  Chapter Notes

  John gives us the detailed account of Mary’s experience with Jesus (John 20:11–18), and Matthew records the appearance of Jesus to several women after their experience with the angels at the tomb (Matthew 28:9–10).

  There are a number of discrepancies among the Gospel writers about the events on Resurrection day. For example, Matthew and Mark report only one angel present at the Garden Tomb, but Luke and John specify two angels. Likewise, Matthew places the angel outside of the tomb, while Mark, Luke, and John indicate the angels were inside the tomb (Matthew 28:2; Mark 16:5; Luke 24:4; John 20:12). As noted in the novel, Jesus instructs Mary Magdalene, “Touch me not” (John 20:17), yet shortly after, other women are permitted to touch Jesus (Matthew 28:9). Such minor discrepancies often occur in eyewitness accounts of an event and do not lessen the testimony of the Gospel writers about the miracle of the Resurrection.

  Chapter 39

  In the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.

  —Hosea 6:2

  I

  Jerusalem, Upper City, House of Jephunah ben Asa 6 April, a.d. 33

  By the time the sun had fully set, the upper chamber of Jephunah ben Asa’s house was shut up tightly again. John had received a report from his contact at the palace of Caiaphas. Now they understood about the Roman guards and what had happened to make them flee. Knowing the Sanhedrin was eager to squelch any rumors of Jesus rising from the dead, Peter had once again ordered all doors closed and the windows shuttered.

  They had decided not to set tables in the room, even though it was large enough to accommodate the group. Instead, serving tables were set up on one end of the room, and they were just waiting for the last of those downstairs to trickle in. When Peter came in, he looked around and spotted David sitting with his family against the far wall. He beckoned with his finger, and David immediately went over to join him.

  Any sign of the earlier melancholy was gone. Peter was confident now, joyous, greeting people with a firm grip and infectious grin. David wondered what had brought about the remarkable change.

  To his surprise, the apostle took him to one side and spoke in low tones. “Do you remember our conversation earlier today?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well,” he said, looking around. “I haven’t told anyone other than the apostles yet, but I wanted you to know first.”

  “Know what?” And then David reeled back. “Are you saying . . . ?”

  Peter laughed softly. “Yes, David. I went for a walk, to be alone.” He bent his head down until it nearly touched David’s. “I saw him, David. Jesus appeared to me.”

  David just gaped at him, feeling that familiar tingle he had experienced as Deborah had recounted in detail the experience she and the others had had that morning. “What did he say to you?”

  Peter shook his head. “Many things. Wonderful things.” He took a quick breath. “Sobering things.” He gripped David’s shoulder. “I just wanted you to know. I plan to tell the others once we get started.” His grip tightened. “It’s all right now, David. Everything is all right now.”

  II

  To the family’s surprise, Aaron came through the door about ten minutes later. Hava was on her feet immediately and rushed to him. When she and the other women had come out following their afternoon rest, Aaron was nowhere to be found, which set the whole family to worrying. Aaron was not some little-known disciple. His former seat on the Great Council made him vulnerable to identification and possible arrest. Hava had twice started out to look for him, but David and Deborah had prevailed upon her to be patient.

  David waited until he was settled, then simply said, “We’re glad you’re back safely, Aaron.”

  Aaron nodded absently, looking around the room.

  “Peter saw him,” David said, after a moment.

  That startled them all, for he had said nothing after Peter had spoken with him.

  Aaron’s face registered momentary astonishment, then fell dejectedly. “Him, too?”

  Then before David could answer, he went on. “Good. If anyone should see him, it would be Peter.”

  Hava leaned forward. “Does that mean you believe now, Aaron?”

  He sighed wearily. “How can I not believe?” he asked. He looked at Deborah. “Otherwise, I must call you a liar.” He turned to Miriam. “And you a deluded fool. I can’t do that.”

  “But you are still troubled, aren’t you,” Livia said, not making it a question.

  “Aren’t you?” he asked.

  “No,” came the quiet reply. “I have many questions, many things I don’t understand yet, but I have never been more at peace.”

  “May I have your attention, please.”

  The family turned. Peter was standing at the head of the room.

  “Everything is in readiness, thanks to Jephunah and you women who have worked so hard. We shall return thanks for the food; then if you will fill your plates as quickly as possible, we shall begin. We have much to talk about tonight.”

  III

  Peter was right. Jephunah had not spared any expense in preparing the meal. The tables groaned beneath the bounty upon them: broiled fish, roasted lamb, bowls of olives, round loaves of bread, pocket bread that could be opened on one end and stuffed with meat or vegetables, various kinds of cheeses, pieces of honeycomb, dried dates, shelled almonds. Once everyone had their food, the people spread out across the room, mostly sitting on the floor and using the numerous stools, benches, and wooden chairs as their tables.

  The mood in the room was dramatically different from the night before. There was still much perplexity—the various reports of the day had left many filled with questions—but the pall of gloom had lifted. The conversations were still subdued, but they were now filled with hope and excitement, with anticipation of a future that no longer looked totally bleak.

  David and hi
s family had been near the front of the line, and so they had time to talk while the others were still getting their food. Aaron, who was carefully stripping the flesh off the bones of the fish he was eating, looked up. “Can I ask a question?”

  “Of course,” Deborah said.

  Simeon frowned. He was not in a mood for any more of Aaron’s skepticism. Miriam, seeing that, poked at him, signaling for him to not be so critical.

  Aaron noticed none of that. He sat back, putting his plate on the floor for a moment. “Why do you think Deborah and Miriam were allowed to see Jesus, and not John or Andrew?”

  Miriam was startled by Aaron’s bluntness, though she had been pondering that very question earlier.

  “How do you suppose Jesus chooses to whom he shows himself? Is it simply at random? Those who happened to go to the tomb at the right time were the privileged ones, and the rest of us were not so fortunate. Is that it?”

  Leah looked at the floor. “I wanted to go,” she whispered. “If I had, then I would have been there too.”

  To her surprise, Aaron went up on his knees, leaned over, and kissed her on the top of her head. “I thought about that, in fact,” he said. “It can’t just be based on righteousness, can it? They don’t come any purer or any sweeter than our Leah.”

  She stared at him, completely taken aback. Coming from Aaron, that was perhaps the most touching compliment she had ever received.

  But Aaron was only momentarily deflected. “It seems obvious why Jesus would come to Peter. But why not the others? Is it because some don’t need it as much as others? Or maybe because they have less faith?”

  “I’ve thought it strange that he should first appear only to women,” Rachel said. “That is especially remarkable to me.”

  Livia had a pretty good idea what was behind this line of questioning. She wiped her fingers on a small towel, then looked at Aaron. “What you really want to know, Aaron, is why didn’t he appear to you, right?”

  Aaron had just started to take another bite of fish and nearly choked on it.

  She went on quickly. “That’s my question too. When I say, why not Simeon or why not David, what I’m really asking is, why not me?”