by Hana Blue
“You can’t just leave it like that!” I barked at him. How dare he just leave it like that. How did he expect me to learn what I have, then patiently wait for the rest of the story? That’s not fair. You can’t just come to explain, then leave the person with more questions than they had before.
I shook my head angrily, frustrated that he wouldn’t continue. That’s when I finally noticed that the skies had grown dark, and evening was setting in quickly. He was right. Well, at least I hoped he was when he said Aine would worry. I can’t say that I was sure she even noticed I was still gone. It wasn’t like she was a very caring woman, except to her sister. Which I admired, but had no hopes it would ever be directed to me, not like that.
She seemed to have such a large, pure heart. Unless it came down to me. Whereas I opened my heart to her, she kept hers under lock and key. Maybe it was because it belonged to someone else, or she just was unwilling to share it with me. Either way, I didn’t receive the beauty from it I’d see her show to others.
For me she was strong and stubborn. Bitter. Those qualities that I still found very attractive, and sometimes very sexy. It showed how powerful she was, but I ached to have her open her heart and let me see the gold in it.
“Fine.” I muttered, shoving my hands into my front pockets. “Let’s go.”
* * *
AINE ~
“Look, just drop it Daniel.” I muttered in frustration, rubbing circles on my temples. Trying to rub out the irritation.
“I will not drop it.” Daniel responded gruffly. Crossing his arms tightly across his chest. Every vein on his arms showing from how tense he held his stance. “What part of him trying to kill you have you so easily forgotten? What? He’s easy to look at so you just forget what he’s done?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“Did you forget it was more or less a mutual quest for murder?” I added plainly, cupping my hands over my face. Growing tired of this conversation quickly. I never thought I day would come where I would feel such irritation and annoyance towards him, it here we were. I didn’t owe him any explanation, at the end of the day, it wasn’t his business. Either way.
I couldn’t understand how people thought I had forgotten. Who in their right mind would forget being attacked and hunted down? Being thrown into a tree and hiding, fearing for your life? Not I, that I could confidently say. What I found was, I couldn’t blame him. He was in fear for his own life, even if there wasn’t any reason to. It was something I could understand. It’s amazing what fear and self preservation will drive you to do. What kind of strength it gives.
Even though I hadn’t completely forgiven Dominic. I understood, and for as long as he was willing to halt the battle, I would be too. If for no other reason then to experience what our bond could really be, even for just a little while. Maybe that made me a masochist, but I didn’t care.
“You know what I just don’t get Aine? After everything he has done, and the fact I can tell that you get anxious and fearful around him, you still marked him. Slept with him. Then when you were in actual danger and we came looking for you, you ran right into his arms. The same arms that would have gladly snapped your neck only months ago.” Daniel sighed honestly.
Shaking his head from side to side slowly in disbelief. “I’m not trying to call you stupid, but this isn’t the smartest thing you’ve ever done.”
Lifting my face from my palms, I looked at him, sighing roughly. “Look. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Then explain it to me. Explain to me how the woman I love can just forget who I am and run off with someone who could kill her, and probably will!” Daniel spat back. The tone of his voice now violent.
He took a step forward to me, his arms now reaching out, grabbing at my own roughly. With one hand, I placed it on his chest, signaling for him not to come any closer. Showing a barrier between us he should not cross. Not if he knew what was good for him.
“Daniel, let go of me. Now.” I commanded seriously. The touch that used to bring me such comfort now enraging me.
It showed me something that I had been ignoring. He was no longer the one I wanted to touch me. That somehow, within a few days, the man that I had feared and hated was the one I wanted there. Was the one I wanted to touch me. Not Daniel. You would think that thought alone would make me sick, but strangely it didn’t. It all made sense in some strange way.
Ignoring my command, Daniel kept his hands on my upper arms, holding me to face him, pleading with me to give him an explanation. Swallowing hard, I looked into his eyes, preparing myself to finally admit what I was thinking, what I was feeling. Not only to him, but to myself as well.
“Dominic is my mate. Until you have your own, you can never understand how powerful that really is. It’s more than just being bonded to someone forever. It is a person who was created as your perfect match. Where that is actually terrifying, especially when you look at him. He isn’t really an agreeable man from what I can tell, but since he came here, he’s been good to me, and as much as I hate to admit it, I truly believe he is exactly what I need.” I sighed, lowering my gaze, a speckling of tears forming over my vision.
“I’ve come to care for him deeply, Daniel. With that, I want to respect him, and that means being faithful and open to the rightful claim he has on me, and I on him. I want this, I want him. Yes, I’m terrified. He scares the shit out of me, but not the way you think.”
“So, you want him, not me?” Daniel muttered out, his voice cracking from the pain pooling in his heart.
I knew that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. I know, just like I had before, he thought that one day we would have been together, that maybe there was a mixup somewhere along the line. That we were supposed to be mates. That’s not how it worked, though. His mate it out there somewhere, and one day he will understand. Maybe then the broken heart will heal. Until then, I knew I had to hurt him.
Foolishly, I thought I could just ignore this. Keep moving forward and he would eventually move on. Then he could just be my best friend again, but now that seemed to be nothing but a foolish dream. I would now lose my best friend. In return, I gain a future. Why did that make me feel guilty?
“Say the word, and I’ll back off for good. If you want him. Tell me. I’ll go away.” Daniel regretfully murmured, looking deeply into my eyes. Pain glossed over his own as they begged me not to give the answer he knew was coming. The answer I knew was coming.
“I’m sorry.”
* * *
DOMINIC ~
“So what makes you think she doesn’t care about you?” Damien asked me calmly. I ignored his question, making my way into the house.
“Come on son, you can talk to me.” He added, following behind me.
I stopped, turning to look at him and rolled my eyes. “I forgive you dad, but we aren’t to that point yet. Thanks. Now I need a drink.”
Damien shrugged a shoulder and followed as I went to the kitchen. From the hallway just outside I heard muffled voices, one of them being Aine’s. She sounded sad, or pissed. To be honest, I couldn’t really tell the difference yet. She seemed to associate the two together quite often, so it was hard to tell. I really hope that one day I could figure it out, to know the difference. Hell, maybe even know what she sounds like being joyful.
The kitchen came into view from the hallway, and my blood ran cold. The sight of that damn ginger, holding Aine’s arms, looking at her the way he was made me sick. That she was allowing it was worse. I felt foolish. To think I had just believed that she could give a damn about me, I find her like this. I swallowed and clenched my jaw.
“That son of a bitch.” I growled under my breath.
My father came to stand slightly behind me. “Who’s that?” He questioned, looking in on the sight that I was glaring down.
“The man she really wants to be with.” I muttered to myself. Fighting back the rage.
“I don’t think so.” Damien noted. “She doesn’t look too happy.”
“Yeah,
she won’t be too happy when I rip his heart out with my bare hands either, but it looks like it’s come to that point.” I responded harshly.
I felt my father’s hand on my shoulder. “Take a minute, son. Don’t do anything rash.” I shrugged my shoulder to pull it away, but he kept his hand there, holding me back. “Listen to what they are saying first.”
I turned my head to look at him in disbelief. Was he serious right now? How would listening in on their sweet nothings be a better alternative to ending his pathetic, worthless life.
“Just do it.” He commanded, and I rolled my eyes.
I looked back to them and watched as Aine reached up to grab his forearms and my stomach grew sick.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered to him, lowering her head. She looked like she was about ready to cry.
“The man I want is standing in that doorway. Just out of sight. How amazing is it? That I can feel him here, even when I can’t see him. How no matter where I go, or what I do, I never feel truly alone because I feel him. He’s not what I expected Daniel, and maybe your right. Maybe one day, he will kill me. Ive thought of that, I really have. What I’ve figured out, though, is I don’t care. He can kill me. If that’s what would make him happy, then I’d let him. I wouldn’t even put up a fight this time, just as long as I got the chance to know what it feels like to be one with someone else.”
Her words rocked my entire soul. The woman I love wanted me, and she said it. How I wish she could say it to me. Speak to me that way, stead of fighting back left and right. To let down her walls completely and talk to me the way she was with him, but maybe in time that’d come.
“So, that’s it. You’d rather be with the damn killer.” Daniel remarked to her angrily.
She pulled his arms down, taking his hands from her arms and pushed them back to his sides. I chewed my lip nervously as I waited for her answer, watching her take a step back and straighten her shoulders.
“Yes. I choose the killer. Because I am a killer. Who better to be with, then someone like me.” She let out a soft smile. “You and I would never be the same, we never were. My future is held by someone who can understand. One who never refers to me as a killer, one I would never see as a killer. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. All that you showed me, but now, the universe gave me the man that I need.”
She took in a deep breath, looking out to the opening to the hallway where she knew I was, and smiled. A beautiful, hopeful smile. “I want him.”
As her answer flowed from her lips, I smiled, unable to stay in the shadows any longer. Marching into the kitchen where she stood like she was waiting for me, I pulled her into my arms. My heart beating erratically as I held her.
“Aine.” I muttered into her hair. “Do you mean all of that?”
She pulled her head back to look up at me, looking at me in a way I’d never seen before. An emotion I couldn’t read for the life of me, but I loved it.
“Yeah. I meant it.”
“Well, good luck getting beaten and mistreated for the rest of all eternity.” I heard Daniel remark arrogantly.
“Shut up, kid. Just let them have their moment.” Damien replied walking around us in Daniels direction. “Now run along.”
Begrudgingly Daniel left the room, looking incredibly intimidated by my father, who I was grateful that stepped in. I was in no position to scare him off because that would mean letting go of her. Something I wasn’t quite ready to do. I could have stood right here in this kitchen till the day I died holding her, and would have no regrets.
“Dominic?” She whispered softly, her voice saying my name being the most glorious sound to ever be heard. “Is it time to stop fighting? Just see where this goes?”
* * *
AINE~
I lowered my eyes from him, now feeling foolish for asking, but I couldn’t help it. I needed to know. I wanted to know if he was ready. I know he said he was trying; I knew that I was what was holding the wedge between us, but I felt uncertain.
Dominic slowly removed one of his arms from around me, his hand finding my chin, bringing my gaze back to him and I shuttered. Stroking my chin with his thumb, he smiled at me, a thing of such beauty.
“If that’s what you want.”
I nodded my head way too quickly in excitement, biting on my lower lip like a nervous little girl talking to her crush.
“What my mate wants, she gets.” He replied softly.
“For fuck sakes, just kiss her.” Damien called out in annoyance, popping the top of a beer and walking away. I giggled, and Dominic looked down at me, smiling wildly. Looking like he had just won the lottery.
“You heard the man.” He chuckled, grabbing the sides of my face, pulling me into him. Kissing me with such dominant passion, like he was thanking me for choosing him. For the first time since the day I met him, the past faded away. The fear of him, the dark memories, all the reservation of what we were, or who we were, completely gone. Like there was no difference between us, no wall was ever built.
No aggression or irritation. Just us. One soul, together and complete. Open and bare, vulnerable.
As his lips moved with mine, I felt something I had felt none other time he had kissed me. A feeling I hadn’t felt in so long long. One that I was sure would easily be the end of me.
Twenty One
Seeing Her
AINE~
I giggled to myself as I watched Allea. She was up on her toes, stretching her arms beyond their natural limits, trying to help hang the lights outside. Poor girl was way too short for that job. I set down the case of beer I had been carrying in the cooler and came to stand next to her. Observing her valiant attempt. Gently I plucked the string of fairy lights from her hands and tacked them up, barely even exerting any energy.
My whole life I had been much taller, it was just how I was built. It often came in handy when helping around here. Most of the women I had come into contact with were dwarfed by my size. It made me self conscious when I was younger, but now, not so much.
“Oh my god, thank you.” She huffed out, coming to stand flat on her feet again. I shrugged and laughed lightly. “No problem.”
She awkwardly dusted off her shirt and straightened out her hair. “So, you guys sure like to celebrate, huh?” She questioned, waving her arm around signaling the back area yet again being set up in an elaborate party fashion. Much like it was when they threw a celebration for Dominic and I.
Tables were set up around the patio area and they strung fairy lights from trees and the gazebo, giving the area a soft glow when the sky went dark. Food was staring to fill the tables, and a heat resonated off of the few grills that had been set up.
“Yeah.” I chuckled. “Micheal is a fan of gatherings. He says there is too much cruelty and hate in the world, so when something joyful happens, you need to celebrate it too the fullest with those you love.” I added confidently.
It didn’t matter how small of an event. If it warrants celebrating, we celebrate. This occasion being the reunion of Dominic and his father, and partially a thank you to Damien from Micheal for saving my life all those years ago. Micheal wanted to acknowledge the growth and repair of our family, and I thought it was a marvellous idea. Of course I’d never turn down an opportunity to dance and drink with my family.
Every time one of these occasions came around, all the women of the pack would get busy with decorations, cooking, and preparing. It was nice to see the women Dominic brought from his pack joining in the effort. It made it easier for me to remember that they were now a part of my pack, part of my family. They fit in so easily too.
“So Aine.” Allea cleared her throat tentatively. “Since you are our Luna and all…” She trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck. “Will you be coming back to Sitka with us?” She completed her question nervously, leaning her head back like she was preparing for me to scream at her. Like it would in some way be offended by her asking.
Her reaction paining me, making me feel like she was afraid of m
e somehow. I knew that she respected me; she made that clear from our first meeting. However, I wasn’t sure if she truly trusted me not to be a danger to them.
I reached down into my pockets and fished out my cigarettes. I lit one slowly, watching as she stood there shifting her weight, looking rather antsy. Finally, once the pack was back in my pocket and I pulled the lit smoke from my lips, I shook my head at her, smiling playfully.
“I guess I am.” I replied curtly and she let out a dramatic breath then smiled ear to ear. “Oh, thank goodness!” She exclaimed, clutching her chest like the largest weight in the world had just been pulled from her shoulders.
“I was so afraid because you two haven’t really been handling this mate thing well that you would stay here. I know that’s your choice and all, but Dominic really seems to be doing better since being here with you, and we need a luna. I just… I guess I don’t want to see you go.” She rambled on frantically, justifying why she asked the question.
I couldn’t help but just stand there awkwardly smiling at her as I smoked my cigarette. Watching as she trailed off with her explanation. I found myself relieved that she wasn’t afraid of me, but rather afraid that I would go away. It was comforting. Not to mention she was absolutely adorable as she went on and on, leaving me no space to get a word in edge wise.
“Well, I plan to go back to Sitka, as long as Dominic wants me there.” I added to her ramblings, and she beamed.
“She’s coming?!?” I heard the other wolf Ciri squeal out in excitement as she sprinted in our direction. Coming to stand in between us, she wrapped one arm around Allea and the surrounding other. Almost like we were old friends.
“I told you, Allea. She’s his mate, of course she’d come.” She mused, pulling us both into her sides.
“Well, excuse the fuck out of me. It’s not like they are really getting along, I had all the right to wonder.” She replied to Ciri with sass, rolling her eyes tauntingly at her as she spoke.