I Am the Night (The Night Firm Book 3)

by Karpov Kinrade

  "She's stunning, is she not? I tried to capture her essence."

  I turn to see Dath'Racul leaning against the stone wall studying me, his long red wing-cape draped over his broad shoulders, his eyes hooded in shadows.

  "You sculpted this?"

  "I did," he says, stepping forward, into the flicking candlelight. "She was my lover. When she died, a piece of me died with her."

  The Forbidden

  “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

  ~Rumi

  His words leave me stunned. "Lover?"

  "Does that surprise you, Miss Oliver? That I would be capable of love?" He steps closer, now standing inches from me, his massive form towering over me, his golden dragon eyes studying me with a penetrating intelligence that is unnerving. The candlelight plays off his deep burnt red skin, giving him a demonic quality that actually seems to amplify his attractiveness.

  "We are, all of us, capable of love. The depth of that love is determined by the depth of our own souls," I say.

  He tilts his head, studying me. "I was surprised to learn you were one of the Fates," he says in a non-sequitur. "But the more I study you, the more I see the wisdom of your past bleeding through the frailness of your small human life."

  "That almost sounded like a compliment," I say. "If you keep working at it, I think you'll nail it one of these days."

  His lips twitch as if he's tempted to smile, but he resists the impulse. "I wasn't sure you would attend this meeting."

  "Why wouldn't I?" I ask. "I'm committed to solving this murder. I want to see the Light Dragon's killer brought to justice, and I obviously don't want to see your mother destroy the Otherworld."

  "Yes. You are an altruist through and through. Tell me, do you share the ruthlessness of the Maiden Fate of the past? Will you cross lines drawn in blood to do what you think is right?"

  His gaze bores into me as if he's trying to pillage my soul of all its secrets. Secrets even I'm not privy to.

  "Whatever choices we make, whatever actions we take to protect, to guide, to lead, to bring justice, they should not and cannot undermine our basic goodness and decency, otherwise what is it all for?"

  He steps back from me, half his face falling into shadows as he does. "So you would let the innocent die if the alternative required acting in a way against your conscious?"

  I glance up at the sculpture, letting my hand study the delicate artistry of it. "This is the first representation I've seen of a Fate where her face is shown," I say, changing the subject. "Why is that?"

  I've noticed he's studiously avoided looking at the image of his lover, but now that he does, his eyes soften briefly. "The Fates never showed their faces. Not to the dragons, not to my mother, not to anyone. They were more myth than anything." He turns his attention back to me. "Which is why no one knew who you were," he says.

  "Do you mean I would have looked like this in my past life?" I ask. "I thought with reincarnation you come back in a new body, new look and all that?"

  "Perhaps under normal circumstances. But you are not normal. You are not reincarnated. You are a fate reborn. You'd do well to remember that. You may not wish to face your past deeds, but they remain part of you regardless." He looks away, his face showing a moment of brokenness that surprises me. "We all must deal with the consequences of who we were, whether we recognize that person now or not."

  "And who were you, once upon a time?" I ask in a whisper.

  The air around us feels heavy with the weight of the past, with ghosts that still haunt us both, even if I can no longer remember them.

  "A man in love," he says without looking at me. "Who didn't want to see what my choices would do to the one I loved."

  I look back at Landal, who looks suspended in time, mid-dance, her body twirling, the sheer dress she wears flowing around her, her head turned to glance over her shoulder at someone, her face lit up with joy and love.

  "What was she like?" I ask.

  "Do you not remember anything?" he asks with a frown.

  "Not really. It hasn't been that long that I really knew who I was. And I've only had flashes of memory. Nothing I can hold onto. But I feel her inside me, writhing like a living thing trying to escape. Sometimes I don't know where I begin and she ends," I admit, surprising even me. I haven't articulated these thoughts to myself, let alone anyone else. I never imagined Dath'Racul would be the one I could confess to.

  By the look on his face, he didn't either.

  I expect a sharp retort, a biting insult, a cutting jibe. But instead, he walks over to a bench I didn't notice before. One in the shadows, but that has a perfect view of the Landal.

  He sits, and gestures that I should join him.

  There is barely enough room for both of us, and our thighs press together as I take my seat, sending a jolt of electricity through my skin. My fire magic flares, being this close to the Fire Dragon, and his eyes widen, suggesting he feels it too.

  "Your powers have grown substantially since we met at the Collector's party," he says. "I was a bit distracted that day with my mother that I didn't feel the full weight of it then, despite your rather impressive grandstanding."

  I ignore the grandstanding comment, because I can be a bigger person. "The spell with Ava'Kara seems to have unlocked what was trapped in me."

  I swear his eyes seem to mist over when I mention her name.

  "I wish she would have talked to us before sacrificing herself. We could have found another way."

  I turn to him, my face hardening. "I think she didn't go to you because you seemed determined to use your power and position to take advantage of the fear that people lived in. You stoked that fear and used it to make yourself stronger. She wanted to help. But you wanted control."

  "I know it may seem that way in your minuscule and insignificant human life of what? Twenty or thirty years?" he says, his voice hardening. "But I created a world for the people you say I just want to control. It was Landal and I who talked my brothers and sisters as well as the other Fates into forming the foundation of the Otherworld. You cannot possibly know what that entails. What responsibility that involves."

  There was a lot to unpack in his little speech, but my tolerance for his dismissive attitude had worn thin.

  "Listen up, Racul, can I call you Racul?" I say, not waiting for him to answer. "Things will go a lot better between us if you drop this bullshit about my age, okay? You think because you've been around a few more years you're so much wiser? So much better? And yet here we are, dealing with dead dragons and a world apocalypse because you and your sibs can't find a way to get along." His eyes narrow at that, but I don't give him time to respond. I'm too pissed. "You keep this world stuck in the dark age. You prohibit advancement. You don't take care of the most vulnerable of your population. You disparage anyone who disagrees with you. You don't listen to anyone but yourself. You've become so myopic you don't even see that you are destroying the very thing you created."

  When I finish, I'm nearly out of breath. My cheeks are flushed and I'm riled up.

  I wait expectantly for him to say something.

  But instead, he leans over and kisses me.

  What the hell?

  His lips are hot, searing, and burn straight through me, and I respond to him for a moment, drawn into his fire and power, but then I regain my senses, pull back and slap him across the face.

  I think it hurts my hand more than his face. And he doesn't look at all phased or apologetic.

  "What the hell was that!"

  My body is tingling, and I don't even know what to do with all the emotions roiling through me like lava.

  "It has been a long time since a woman spoke to me like that," he says, glancing at the statue again.

  "That doesn't entitle you to my lips," I say, slightly softening but still low key pissed.

  "Forgive me. I am too accustomed to getting what I want." He doesn't look s
orry, though. Just arrogant.

  "No shit. That's abundantly clear, and part of the problem. You created this world, but you don't own the people in it," I say. "You have to change with the times. Learn and grow. I'm always so stunned at how little self-development you long-lived beings accomplish. Humans have got you beat in that, for your information. For all that you criticize our puny mortal life spans, most of us bust our asses to grow, and learn, and accomplish as much as we can in that time. You, for all your lofty greatness, have done what in the last thousand years? How have you changed? Grown? What have you learned?"

  He looks lost in thought, and then his lips twitch into a smile. "I was about to say that Landal would have liked you, and then I realized you two were close once. She shared your zeal for the downtrodden and abused. This world was actually her idea. She was tired of seeing so many of the magical community hunted and killed just for being different. She had a vision of a world where all could live in safety."

  His words give me pause. "Did… did you know me… the me back then?"

  "Only casually. I never saw your face, as I said. Or the Crone Fate. She spoke about the two of you from time to time, but Fate business and Dragon business were things we didn't share with each other freely. When we were together, we tried to let go of that and just be us."

  "How did she die?" I ask, recalling what Ifi said before I came here.

  Racul looks at Landal's statue, his expression almost heartbreaking. It is the look of a man trying hard to control emotions that he's suppressed for too many years. Emotions of love, pain, loss, betrayal, anger.

  On impulse, I take his hand. It burns hot in my own but doesn't hurt me. He looks down at our hands, and I think he's about to pull away, but instead he squeezes mine and turns his gaze back to me.

  "The truth of her death has never been uncovered," he says. "But I know what happened."

  I bite my tongue to keep from asking more questions. I have a feeling if I wait, he'll speak more freely than if I interrogate him. He looks as if he's standing on the edge of his past, waiting to fall into it.

  The silence lingers between us. Something scurries in the shadows across the room, disturbing the cobwebs. Dust mites dance in the fractals of light cast by the candles. The stagnant air settles around us. Still I wait.

  When he finally speaks, his words are hushed, his deep voice laden with pain.

  "My mother is a formidable being, as you have seen."

  I can't help but snort at that. Understatement of the year.

  "She did not support the formation of this world. She feels that dragons are the only pure bloods, and any other beings of magic are bastards, weakened by lesser blood. Not worth our time or energy. Certainly not worth creating an entire world for, abandoning our own in the process."

  He pauses, swallowing, lost in thought. "She did not know about my relationship with Landal. Just that we had worked together to convince the others to join our quest. She was livid, but what could she do? We outnumbered her, and she knew if she pushed too hard, she would lose us entirely. So she relented."

  He shifts in his seat, pulling my hand closer to him, still holding it tightly as if it's a lifeline for him. On instinct, I send a thread of my magic, the blend of all the elements, to him and I see his skin glow at the contact for just a moment before it fades.

  He gapes at me, astonished. "Thank you."

  I nod.

  He clears his throat. "We celebrated when the world formed. We rejoiced when beings entered here, forming towns, homes, lives. We did our best to set up a fair and just system to manage the growing population. The Fates did not take an active role here, as they still had commitments on your world, but Landal came as frequently as she could to be with me."

  I can feel the story shift, feel the tale turn dark as his eyes themselves darken in the telling. "My mother discovered our relationship a few thousand years ago. It all came to a head at a very unfortunate time in our world. There was already a… war with the unicorns. Strange things happening. And then… "

  My breath hitches. "Did you mother kill Landal?" I ask.

  His golden eyes fill with tears that turn to steam before they can find release. "I've never had proof. But yes, she did."

  "Racul," I say, my voice more tender than it was. "Why did you ask me to come here?"

  "When I built this memorial for Landal, I had it spelled. My mother does not know of it, and cannot hear or see anything that goes on within these walls. She will not even see that it exists. She will only see a vacant stretch of cemetery land," he says.

  "Why?" I ask.

  "Because I needed one place in the universe where I was free from her. I am the eldest of my siblings, and until I met Landal and we decided to create the Otherworld, I was in line to succeed my mother in our own world, where only dragons live. We are not the only dragons that exist, but we are the only dragons of the royal line. I was to be king. When I relinquished that to come here, my mother disowned me, and I have never lived up to her expectations since. Similarly, Lyx has always defied her. Lyx had a big heart, too big. I feared for her. I was angry at her for leaving the Council, for becoming the Beggar Queen as they called her. Not because she was helping the poor, as many think. But because I knew she was putting herself at risk with our mother."

  "Are you saying…. "

  "I'm saying, I think my mother killed Lyx for defying her, just as she killed Landal for my defiance. And I think you were never meant to solve this murder. I'm saying, the world is going to end in less than a fortnight, and you should leave now."

  Shit. Double triple shit.

  "Racul, I can't. The spell… it made me a part of this world. I will die if it is destroyed."

  His face shifts subtly, and I'm surprised to see that he actually cares about my fate.

  "Then you need to find a way to stop my mother. I will help. But first, we need to go to the Ancient Library. It might hold information, or at least some sort of evidence that could help us take her down."

  "What's the Ancient Library?" I ask, my pulse quickening.

  "It is a secret place my mother built to hide all her secrets," he says simply.

  "Why haven't you already gone?" I ask, my heart fluttering at the thought that we might have a new lead.

  "Because only the Fates and my mother are able to open it. I need your help."

  I can see how hard it is for him to admit this. "Okay, I'm in. When?"

  "Tomorrow morning," he says. "I will pick you up."

  "I'll be ready," I say, knowing the Night brothers are going to looooove this. Not.

  "We will find a way to defeat my mother and save this world. Together."

  The Library

  “I said to the night,

  “If you are in love with the moon,

  it is because you never stay for long.”

  The night turned to me and said,

  “It is not my fault. I never see the Sun,

  how can I know that love is endless?”

  ~Rumi

  Dath and I leave the tomb together and he takes my hand once more as we stand outside. "Apologies for stealing a kiss. You reminded me so much of her, it was… well, it doesn't matter. You're right. You're not mine to claim."

  My heart feels a pang of regret that his relationship ended the way it did. It seems he's not found love again since. "It's not too late to find companionship once more," I say. "You have a long life ahead of you. Let yourself open up to something new again. I think she would want that for you."

  He tilts his head. "Is that from memory?"

  "No," I say. "But it's what I would want for someone that I loved. It's what I would want for you."

  "Be safe, Miss Oliver. I will see you tomorrow."

  He pulls away from me and transforms into a giant red dragon, fire sparking from his mouth. He gives me a brief nod and flies away, disappearing into the Dragon's Breath covering sky.

  I glance back at the mausoleum where I know Sebastian is sitting in Ifi and El
al's home, worried sick. Poor guy. I close my eyes and teleport to their apartment.

  I rematerialize… awkwardly, landing in Sebastian's lap, who is still sitting on the couch where I left him.

  He grunts, catching me and preventing me from hitting my head on the edge of the metal and glass coffee table.

  "I'm so sorry," I say, my arms wrapped around his neck to keep from falling.

  He tightens his grip on me rather than letting me go. "I'm not," he says softly, his forest green eyes locked on mine.

  "We have not stopped talking about you," Ifi says, with an excited clap of his hands. "Your powers are on fleek!"

  I laugh and scoot off Sebastian to stand and stretch. "Thanks."

  I give the Earth Druid a meaningful glance. "We should head home. There's a lot to discuss."

  He raises an eyebrow and stands while I hug the guys and thank them for everything. "Any luck on the baby front?" I ask, knowing they are trying to adopt.

  Ifi grins. "We might have a lead. But it's too soon to tell. Crossing fingers and toes. The need is real. My biological clock is ticking."

  "Calm yourself, love. We are immortal. There is no clock," Elal says.

  "Okay, Boomer," Ifi says, and I nearly die.

  "Ifi, love, that's not quite what that means," I say, through fits of giggles. "But solid effort."

  We leave and I'm still laughing as we head back to the carriage. "He's a crack up."

  "They are quite entertaining," Sebastian agrees. "Now, tell me, what happened."

  "First off, you're not going to like a lot of what I say, but I need you to chill, okay?"

  He glares at me.

  "Sebastian, I need your word."

  With a huff he relents. "Fine. Tell me."

  We climb into the carriage and Mable spurs the horses into movement.

  Once we are on our way, I tell him everything. Including the kiss.

  Sebastian clutches his fist but doesn't say anything until I'm done.

  "I know if I forbid you to go to the Ancient Library tomorrow, you'll just do it anyways," he says after a moment of silence.