I Am the Night (The Night Firm Book 3)

by Karpov Kinrade

  I'm still chuckling at her childlike enthusiasm for war as I blink and send myself back to the castle.

  No one is downstairs, so I venture out back to check on Ana. She's curled in a corner playing with her doll.

  "Hey there, honey. How are you?" I ask.

  She shrugs, not speaking.

  Gods I feel like such an ass.

  "Are you hungry? I can get you some food."

  She shakes her head.

  "Do you want me to read you a story?" I ask, though I don't have time for that, but I'll make it work for this poor kid.

  She shakes her head again.

  I sigh. "Okay, I'll come check on you soon."

  I glance at the bushes on my way back in and see that Racul's body has been removed. The memory of him throwing himself in front of me to take the blow sends shivers up my spine, and I still don't know how to factor that Dath'Racul against the giant ass from court. People—and dragons—aren't always what you think.

  I head upstairs, hoping there's not more bad news awaiting me. I fear the worst as I approach Matilda's room, but when I push open the door, my heart warms to see all four brothers sitting around her bed as they talk. She has tears running down her weathered cheeks, and Liam holds her hand. The babies are in a crib in the corner napping.

  I don't want to interrupt, so I pull the door closed behind me and head to my room to take a bath and have a minute alone before reality sets in too hard and we must make our next plan.

  Moon is excited to see me, and curls around my ankles purring as I prepare my bath. I pick him up and hold him against my chest, enjoying the velvety softness of his fur.

  He takes his customary spot at the edge of my tub as I heat the water with my magic and step in.

  I try to pause my mind for just a few minutes. To forget about the end of the world and the dead dragons, and the monster killer who's just a child. I push it all away and meditate on just the present moment. The bubbles tickling my skin. The heat of the water soaking away my weariness. The scent of lavender oil. The sound of Moon purring.

  "You look like a goddess," a familiar voice says, startling me out of my meditative state.

  I sit up with a jerk, splashing water over the sides of the tub as Cole Night saunters over and takes a seat next to me, my bathrobe in his hands.

  "What are you doing here?" I ask, my heart palpitating at his presence. And even though I really don't want to want him. I totally want him. Damn this man and the effects he has on me.

  "I heard you have a problem with a queen. I'm here to help."

  I sigh. "It truly is impossible to keep secrets around here."

  I stand and grab my robe from his hands, slipping into it as I climb out of the tub.

  Then I realize there's other news he may or may not know. "Matilda… " I say, unsure how to proceed.

  "I know she was attacked," he says softly.

  "Yes, but she's okay now I think. But that's not all," I say, struggling to find the right words.

  Understanding dawns on his face and he nods. "So, she finally told you?" he asks.

  I narrow my eyes. "Told me what?"

  "That she's a Fate."

  "No! She didn't tell me, but yes, I did find out. I had a memory of it. But how the hell did you know?" I ask, confused.

  We walk back into my bedroom, and I take a seat in front of the fire as Moon makes a spot on my lap. Cole takes the chair next to me. "I didn't know for sure, but I've suspected for some time. She's always had visions and known things she shouldn't. She's been around forever but no one has ever really known what she is, or where her power comes from. It just made sense."

  "Why didn't you tell your brothers? Or me?"

  "For one, it wasn't my secret to tell. Matilda had her reasons for keeping her identity to herself and I wasn't going to betray that. And two, I didn't know for sure. Also, it's not like my brothers and I have been close," he says.

  "Why aren't you angry with her if you've stayed angry with your brothers for so long?"

  "Because I don't know what her direct role was in what happened to me. I know what theirs was."

  "Oh Cole," I say, my heart breaking for him all over again. "They aren't the same men they were back then. They weren't strong enough to fight the powers that controlled your lives."

  "And they are now?" he asks bitterly.

  "We're all stronger," I say. "Together." I look pointedly at him. "I'm working on a plan to stop the Mother of Dragons, but I'll need everyone's help. Including yours. We can't do this without you. Can I count on you to help?"

  Cole looks at me, his dark eyes hypnotizing and full of so much pain. "I'll do what I can. But this isn't a battle that will be easily won. What's your plan?" he asks.

  "Like I said, I'm still working on it." Sheesh, doesn't anyone listen? "But I'm open to suggestions."

  The Goodbyes

  “Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”

  Rumi

  Cole joins his brothers, spending time with Matilda, and when they are done, we all meet in the library and spend hours brainstorming ways to defeat the queen, but the fact is we just don't know enough. We only know one way to kill her—the unicorn dagger—but no one has a solid plan for how to get it into her heart, which seems to be the sure fire way to get the job done. Ra'Terr was simply injured with a horn, and his death is coming slowly, too slowly to stop the queen.

  It's a tedious back and forth that ends with Cole jumping up in frustration. "We should all just leave. Get out of here. Get as many people off this world as possible, sure, but then we leave. We can't win this."

  "He doesn't know?" Liam asks.

  I shake my head. I really don't want to have this conversation. Again. But it seems I must.

  And so I tell Cole what everyone else now knows. That I won't survive the destruction of this world.

  That silences him, and without saying another word, he storms out of the library.

  I lean back in the couch and close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose to alleviate a headache. The fire crackles and candles are lit around the room creating an ambiance I don't feel. I'm tired of arguing. Of planning. Of worrying.

  Standing, I pick up Alina from the crib and hold her against my chest. Her baby fists reach for anything they can grab, settling for a bit of my shirt that she tries to shove into her mouth.

  "I'm going for a walk," I say.

  Sebastian stands. "I'll join you, if that's all right?"

  I nod. "Only if you promise not to mention anything related to end of the world shit. I need a mental break."

  "Agreed."

  Elijah stands and stretches. "I think you're right. We're talking in circles. I'll keep researching and see if I can find anything in my books. But there might not be an easy solution to this."

  "There might not be any solution to this," Liam says, his brow creased in worry.

  "Then we do what we can," I say. "And we keep on living until then. What else is there?"

  Derek frowns but doesn't say what I know he's thinking. That we could at least try and turn over Ana. It might work.

  But I know it won't. I feel it so deeply within me that it's more than just a hunch, or even a flash. It's a Fate premonition, or whatever that is.

  The evening is chilly, and I wear a cloak and wrap Alina in a blanket before putting her in the stroller.

  Moon joins us as we head to the gardens and stroll over the cobbled paths that wind around the property.

  Sebastian pushes the baby and I loop my arm into his as we walk slowly, enjoying the stillness of the night. While there is no sun and moon in this world, and the shift from day to night is much more subtle, I've lived here long enough to understand the different shades of color and light in the Dragon's Breath.

  We stop beneath a weeping willow near a pond and I take Ana out and spread a blanket for her so she can stretch, then Sebastian and I lean against th
e tree and I tuck myself into his arms and try to clear my mind of everything but this moment.

  It occurs to me we are never guaranteed a future, whether it's measured in minutes, years or lifetimes. Anything could happen, and so all we can do is stay as present as we can in the moments we are assured.

  So I take it all in. The baby playing at our feet. The black cat curled up next to me. The beautiful man at my side. The fish swimming in the pond. The birds flying overhead.

  All of it is a miracle.

  "What are you thinking about?" Sebastian asks after a time.

  I tilt my head up to him to look into his gorgeous green eyes. "You. Us. The wonder of it all. I've been given more than I ever thought possible. No matter how long it lasts, I can't complain."

  A flood of emotions fills us both and he kisses me, drawing out my love for him, his love for me, in that one intimate exchange.

  Then Alina begins to cry and we pull away from each other and laugh.

  Sebastian checks her diaper and crinkles his nose. "I'll take her back to the house and give her a bath before putting her to bed."

  I nod. "I'll be back in a bit."

  I watch them walk away, then I head towards the ocean, Moon still at my heels. He seems to know something's up and hasn't wanted to leave my side lately.

  Despite not wanting to dwell on what could be, I know I need to make plans if the worst-case scenario happens. So, I make a list in my mind of what that will look like. People I need to talk to. Letters I need to write. People I want to draw before my time might be up.

  Was this how Adam felt as he was contemplating the end of his life? Did he look at his life lived and weigh what he would need to do to close out the final chapter?

  The ocean air invigorates me, and I slip my shoes off and stand at the shore, letting the water lap over my toes as Moon dashes back and forth, dodging the tide, then chasing it when it flees.

  "Are you really so connected to this world that your life will end if it does?" Cole asks from behind me.

  I should be used to him just turning up randomly, but the man still startles me.

  I turn around, frowning. "I wouldn't lie about this."

  He shrugs. "It would be a good way to motivate my brothers to stay and help."

  I huff at that. "They don't need my potential demise to want to save thousands of others," I say. "They are good men with good hearts."

  "Unlike me," he says softly.

  I consider him a moment before replying. "Our goodness lies in our choices, which means we are, each moment, given opportunities to reinvent ourselves. You can be whoever you choose to be."

  "I wish I believed that," he says, staring into the ocean.

  "Have you come to say goodbye again?" I ask, my heart hurting.

  "I don't know why I'm here, except that whenever I'm away from you too long, a heaviness grows in me that I cannot carry."

  "Then stay," I say simply, but I know he will not. It is not yet who he is choosing to be.

  "Can I kiss you?" he asks, and I'm surprised, not by the fact that he wants this, but that he asked permission.

  I answer by turning to him and tilting my head up.

  His arms encircle my waist, landing low on my hips as he steps closer to me, so that our bodies are pressed together.

  My darkness reaches for his, my light as well, the two mingling with his dual magic, and the completion I feel at his closeness is a bittersweet balm that soothes even as it burns. I feel my heart breaking again, just a little, as he teases at my lips, tasting me. I slide my arms over his shoulders, through his thick black hair, deeming the kiss he began, tasting him in all his darkness and light.

  And I feel the moment he begins to dematerialize, disintegrating like mist in my arms. When I open my eyes, he is gone, and I wonder if I will ever see Cole Night again.

  Over the next few days, I bury myself in my art. I feel a compulsion to draw, to create portraits of the people I love most in the world. I try not to view it as saying goodbye, but there's no denying there is an element of that in all that I do.

  Still, I'd like to think that I would have come to this place eventually, that space within myself where I see how important it is to show people how you feel about them before it's too late.

  I still haven't heard from Lilith, and none of the brothers have found anything new, so our plan basically relies on luck.

  With that in mind, I teleport myself to Kaya's grove where I know Lily will be.

  I find the two of them leaning against Kaya's massive tree, arms intertwined, love glowing in them both.

  When Lily sees me, she frowns and stands. "Eve! Is everything okay? Did something happen?"

  "No, everyone is fine. I just… " I pause. This is harder to do than I'd imagined. "Can we talk? All three of us," I ask, glancing at Kaya.

  They invite me to join them and I take a seat on the soft mossy earth and pull out the drawing I have for them. "I made this for the two of you," I say, handing it to them.

  It's one of my most unique drawings, done on a large dried leaf using only pigments made from natural sources. I've secured it to a piece of wood that was donated by one of the trees I worked with in the new world. It's a portrait of both of them, their more human forms in front, with their trees behind them.

  Lily's eyes fill with tears. "This is amazing. Thank you!" She leans over to hug me and I squeeze her tight, then pull away.

  "There's something else," I say. "I need you to promise me something."

  She nods, and Kaya holds her hand.

  "If this showdown with the queen goes south, as it very well could, I need you to get our family and our friends out of this world as quickly as possible. The Nights, the kids, the Ifrits, the Gargoyles, Lilith and her household, everyone. Can you do that?"

  "You mean if the world ends and you die?" she asks softly.

  "Yes. That's what I mean."

  Tears fill her eyes and she looks to Kaya, who nods. "We will," Kaya says as Lily swipes at a tear. "You have our word."

  Relief floods me. Knowing my loved ones will be safe makes this a little easier, though I wish there was a way I could save everyone in this world, not just the ones I know personally. It's not fair or right, but I'm doing my best. This is all just a shit situation however you look at it.

  I take Lily's hand. "I'm so glad to know you," I say. "You are full of life and love and laughter, and you have become one of the best friends I have ever had. Thank you."

  We spend the afternoon visiting, walking through the groves and talking about our lives, then I head to the Mausoleum and repeat this all with my friends there.

  Okura and Akuro greet me first, landing before me when I materialize at the entrance. The baby is with them and I show them the portrait I created for the three of them. This one is etched into stone, which seemed fitting.

  I don't know if Gargoyles decorate or enjoy this kind of thing, but I wanted to do something for them.

  They are speechless. "I've never seen a likeness made of our family like this," Okura admits, her deep voice thick with emotion. "Our kind doesn't really get gifts. Ever."

  "I hope I haven't offended you with this," I say, wondering if I should have checked the protocol first.

  "Not at all," Akuro says. "We are pleased."

  I take the baby when Okura offers her to me and cuddle her. Well, as much as you can cuddle animated stone.

  I also hand them a Memory Catcher. "Please do not watch this unless something happens to me."

  Okura frowns. "Is something meant to happen to you?"

  I give a sad smile. "None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. But if the worst happens, watch it and you'll know what to do."

  I swear I see a tear slide down Okura's stony cheek as I enter the Mausoleum.

  Ifi and Elal aren't in the morgue, so I head to their apartment, and there I find them cooking dinner.

  Their door is left open, likely to air out the smoke building in their home.

  "What are you
two doing?" I ask, choking as I use a bit of air magic to help clear out the kitchen.

  "Oh thank the gods you are here," Elal says, sounding more like Ifi than himself. "My husband has decided to take up cooking. That's normally my job but he insisted he wants to be more helpful in the kitchen." Elal waves a hand as if to say, 'look how helpful he's being.'

  I chuckle. "At least he's trying."

  Ifi huffs as he stirs a large pot. "I am creating a masterpiece. Both of you take a seat at the table and stop your whining. A little smoke never hurt anyone."

  I could cite studies that would disagree with that, but instead I follow Elal to the table and we both sit, eyeing the Ifrit nervously as he serves up whatever is in the pot into large bowls that he places before us with a flourish.

  "Now, dine on the most magnificent food you will ever experience in your lives," he says.

  Whatever is in the bowl… and I really do mean whatever… is green and slimy, and my stomach flops over at the thought of introducing it to this substance of questionable edibility.

  "Um, Ifi," I say, not quite sure how to phrase this. "You know that though I'm a Fate, I'm still in a mostly human body, right? So, I have to be careful what I put inside it, lest I end up on your table prematurely."

  He cocks his hip and rolls his eyes. "I know, I know. Rude. I assure you, this is safe for human consumption."

  Elal moves the gelatinous sludge around with a spoon, not looking the least bit convinced by his husband's encouragement.

  He looks up at me. "Ladies first?"

  I fall back on my standard line in this world. "Age before beauty."

  "How about we do this together?" Elal proposes as a compromise. "On three?"

  "Fine."

  "One. Two. Three."

  I take the smallest taste I can, while still managing to get some on the spoon. I'm definitely expecting to gag. Possibly die.

  The flavor takes a moment to hit, and when it does, I see Elal's eyes widen just as mine do.

  I take another bite just to make sure I'm not hallucinating, and yep, I was right. "Ifi, this truly is amazing."

  Elal nods his head. "The key is not looking at it while eating it, I think," he says, patting his husband on the hand.