by Tara Brent
“When, today?” Damon questioned, taking a sip of his own soup.
”Yeah down by the lake," I said, my eyes still scanning the crowd for any sign of her. After she had left me in the car, she had vanished. I could see the family surrounding the Christmas tree waiting for it to be lit. But there was no sign of Trish
“Did you ask her if she overheard you?”
I shook my head, “No, why would I do that?”
“To tell her it was only your secretary man. Come on, you know how Trish gets sometimes. She gets inside her own head and loses herself there.
“I tried talking to her about it this morning but she snapped and then by the lake she said this weekend was a mistake and I know she only said that because she must have overheard me teasing Roxanne. The woman is old enough to be my mother but of course, Trish wouldn't know that. She just thinks I'm still going around being a man whore."
Damon chuckled and his blue eyes twinkled, “She’s not wrong.”
“I stopped.” I mumbled, “She said we should just stick to the present and stop trying to go recreate the past. That we both want different things out of a relationship
My eyes fell on my dad, his mouth practically inside a blonde girl’s ear as he whispered to her and my face twisted with disgust. I watched him give her his phone number and she began tapping at the screen as his eyes rolled up and down her body. I felt like punching something. Why am I related to a man like that?
The woman gave the phone back to him and kissed his cheek before walking away and I suddenly no longer had an appetite for my soup.
"There she is," Damon said.
I looked where he was pointing and watched as Trish approached my dad. Seeing that his back was to her he suddenly spun around as she called to him and my brow arched as she grabbed his phone out of his hand.
He said something to her and reached for the phone and she moved it out of his reach and pointed a finger at his face. Damon and I looked at each other before turning to watch the interaction.
My dad’s hand fell to his side as Trish advanced on him and even from the distance, I could see her mouth moving rapidly. He said something to her and she laughed. The laugh she reserved for when someone was trying to feed her bullshit. She pointed her finger at my dad’s face again and he stepped forward, his mouth moving just as rapidly.
He kept talking and then stopped when she cut him off his eyes opening wide as she spread her arms wide apart while speaking. She stopped talking and pressed a finger to her temple and then shoved his phone at his chest. She then shook her head as she started to speak slower.
I watched her spin on her heels to leave but then turned back to him, said something else and then left. A few people were now staring at my dad, giving him odd looks and I arched a brow as I watched his shoulders slump before he walked off.
“What was that?” Damon asked.
“No idea but whatever she said, it clearly made an impression him.”
Damon made a sound at the back of his throat, “Clearly.” He then chuckled, “Trish is like a bull, you have no idea when she’s going to charge so you just have to keep your eyes on her. As for the two of you, just tell her that you still love her. You know she’s just scared, that’s what all of this is about, her being scared of you hurting her.”
I turned to Damon and he turned to face me, “I’d never hurt her.”
He placed his hand on my shoulder, a solemn look on his face, “Are you sure about that? You have changed Steve and I’m telling you that as your best friend. If there’s a chance that you might hurt her, at all, leave her alone. Can you look at me now and answer this, do you want Trish or do you want what the two of you had before?”
I pulled a face, not understanding, “It’s the same thing, I want Trish and I want what the two of us had.”
He shook his head, “No they’re not Steve. That’s two different things.”
“Have you guys seen Trish?” Both of us turned to Katherine who was walking towards us with Nathan on her hip, “I wanna head to Rebecca’s party now.”
"She went that way, I'll go get her," Damon answered before I could and walked off.
As per usual, Katherine sensed the tension in the air, “What’s going on? You and Trish have been acting weird and now Damon. Not to mention I just saw William leaving like his tail was on fire and I literally just saw Diamond’s tongue down some guy’s throat. What is happening?” She pointed a finger at me and my brows touched my hairline, “What did you do?”
My eyes grew wide, Katherine had never accused me of anything before, “Ah, why are you blaming me?”
She stepped closer, her grey eyes stormy, “Because your dumb ass did something again to piss Trish off. I swear I need to stop fighting for you to be with my sister. I love you both, I swear it I do but the two of you really need to sort your shit out." She stepped closer, her voice low, "I know the two of you have been lying. Honestly, you're both back together and not even sleeping in the same room?"
“I spent the night by the lake.”
“Hush! Fix this! I mean it. You’re all driving me nuts and I just want everyone to be happy dammit it! Fix this!”
She stepped past me as Nathan spoke, "Mommy said a bad word."
“I’m sorry baby. Uncle Steve upset mommy. Never repeat that word okay and don’t tell your daddy.”
Chapter Seven
I bailed on Rebecca's Christmas party and went home. After speaking to Katherine my mood spiraled so I had no interest whatsoever in partying. In all honesty, giving up drinking right now is odd for me because nothing fixes my mood better than alcohol.
I glanced over at my passenger seat with longing, remembering Trish sitting there in her little black dress and laughing and I smiled sadly. There was one thing that could fix my mood effortlessly, one person to be exact.
I should have known Katherine would have realized Trish and I were lying about dating again. Damon had seen it the moment we had arrived because of the way Trish had grown tense when I had put my arm over her shoulder. I hadn’t realized just how awkward we act around each other until Katherine revealed she knew everything.
I pulled into the driveway and parked but stayed seated. Turns out my plan for a peaceful holiday only made things worse. Whatever was happening between my dad and Diamond, however, had nothing to do with me.
The front door opened then and my dad stepped out, pulling his suitcase behind him. I continued to watch him unlock his car as I got out of mine. He looked over his shoulder as I got out of my car and he proceeded with putting his suitcase into the trunk.
I exhaled through my mouth and my breath came out as a cloud of white smoke, “Where are you going?”
He turned to face me as I drew closer, his dark blue eyes meeting mine “It’s better if I leave.”
“Why?”
He closed his car trunk, "Steve, you and I both know you didn't want me here, to begin with. So, why the questions now I'm leaving?"
I laughed, my anger bubbling to the surface, “Drive safe. We wouldn’t want you to crash and remember to take your bright-eyed and bushy-tailed pick of the week with you.”
I turned away and went inside, yanking my scarf from around my neck. Asshole.
Having changed my mind about not drinking I made a beeline for the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine, not bothering to get a glass. Maybe he has the right idea I thought to myself, I should pack up and leave too. Katherine is mad at me, Trish is always mad at me and I’m not sure where Damon stands. Why should I stay?
I turned the bottle to my lips and took a huge gulp as I fell onto the sofa. My dad walked in at that moment and I continued to gulp down the wine before finally placing the bottle between my legs and throwing my hands over the back of the sofa.
“I thought you’d be in the Caribbean by now.”
“We should talk.” He said as he took his jacket off and sat down across from me.
I looked down at my watch, “Yeah it’s drink o’clock right
now so no can do pops and you’re literally years late for us to talk.”
“Fine,” he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, “I’ll talk and you can listen.”
I matched his action and leaned forward, “I’d rather have my dick cut off with a dull knife than listen to you. You said you were leaving so leave.”
We stared at each other for a moment until he closed his eyes and reclined in his chair. He looked exhausted, “I’m sorry.”
I blinked rapidly, “What?”
He opened his eyes and I was surprised to see the raw sadness there, "I'm sorry for everything and I owe you an explanation. When your mom-"
"Don't," I said through clenched teeth.
He ignored me, "When your mom died my world ended."
I turned the wine bottle to my mouth, taking another huge gulp and then another, “You and me both mister. Although I think that goes for me more than you.”
“Is that what you think?”
I gave him a flat look, “Are you kidding?”
"I started drinking after she died." He was staring at the bottle in my hand as if it would morph into a creature and attack him. I couldn't remember ever seeing him drunk, "It got worse and the company started to plummet. That's why your grandfather took the company back." He ran his hands down his cheeks, pulling the skin taut, "I tried to hide that from you, the drinking I mean but then I thought of another way to...to handle things."
He was silent for a moment, his glossy eyes blinking slowly, “I figured if I could just meet people - women, with traits that Viviane had it would feel like she’s not gone.”
A part of me wanted to hear what he had to say and another part of me wanted to hit him until there’s nothing left to hit. I placed the bottle of wine onto the floor as he continued.
"For a time it worked so I got addicted. One woman would have a similar smile to hers, another would have her hair color and another would have her humor." He laughed a sad laugh and looked to the ceiling, "I was building your mom from multiple people and soon it stopped working but I realized being with them numbed the pain so I continued."
“And where did that leave me huh?” I tilted my head as I asked, “While you were off fucking everything that walks to numb your pain, what did you think was happening to me?”
His eyes found mine and he sighed, “I couldn’t look at you because you had the one thing I didn’t try to look for in anyone else because it was too painful - her eyes. Those eyes were hers and hers alone.”
A tear slid down his cheek and my brows creased tightly. I tore my eyes away from his, fighting back my own tears.
“I don’t know. I just couldn’t be around you.” He cleared his throat and wiped the tear away, “You guys were always close and deep down, deep down a part of me was jealous of that. I loved you both b-”
“But you loved her more.” I finished the sentence for him, my eyes still looking elsewhere. I reached down for the bottle of wine to take another drink. “I get it.”
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do because it seems I got that from you. When Trish and I ended I tried to find her in other women and now, she hates me for it. Also, I'm not mad at you for loving her more than me. I loved her more than I loved you too.”
He started to laugh, a booming sound that echoed throughout the room, “Yeah, I know but you think Trish hates you? She cares about you, more than anyone.” I arched a brow, how would he know that?
“I saw what happened at the festival between the two of you. That’s why you’re leaving isn’t it?”
“Yes.” He scratched at his chin sheepishly, “She um, didn’t hold back with telling me how much I’m a piece of shit.”
I shrugged, “Well...”
He chuckled at my agreement, “Yeah, I agree with her but she doesn’t hate you, someone that hates you wouldn’t even speak to you. They wouldn’t want to be around you. I did a poor job of honoring your mom's memory but things are a bit worse for you because Trish is still here. So, are you going to keep fighting to get back with her or walk away?”
“Walk away.” I said under my breath and it pained me to even say the words, “I said I’d never hurt her but I’m hurting her right now. This back and forth between us...it’s not healthy.”
"Then stop trying to go backward. The past is the past. No matter how much you try you can't change it or replicate it in the future."
I pulled a face, “I can’t believe I’m taking advice from you right now.”
"Yeah, I can't believe it either." His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, "I didn't think we'd ever sit and talk like this. I really am sorry for the pain I've caused you Steve, but learn from my mistakes. Trish is only pushing you away because she’s scared, not because she hates you.”
“Damon said the same thing that she’s just scared, but what if you’re all wrong and I keep pushing to be with her and I really lose her? At least right now we’re still friends. I can live with that.”
He stood up and my eyes followed him as he did so, “You wanna know what she said to me at the festival? She said you deserved a better father than me and considering how I treat women you turned out to be the most caring person she knows. She said you’re a joker and a flirt and sometimes she feels like putting duct tape over your mouth but you go out of your way to make her happy and you deserve the same.”
He pulled his jacket on, “Do you really want to lose someone like that?”
***
I was lying in bed half asleep when something brushed against my cheek. I moved my face to the other side, trying to hold onto my dream as it started to drift away. Then I felt it again and as I opened my eyes my fist darted out to hit the man leaning over me in the dark.
“Jesus Christ!”
I blinked rapidly at the sound of Steve’s voice and rubbed at my eyes before dragging myself up into a sitting position, “Steve?” I leaned over and turned to switch the lamp on, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
"Have you been taking self-defense classes or something? Those reflexes are solid. An inch closer and my nose would be broken right now." He rubbed at his nose and I sighed with exasperation.
“Steve, what are you doing?”
He moved forward and sat at the foot of my bed, “Just checking on you my little ninja.” He patted my leg and threw his kilowatt smile my way, “How are you?”
I gave him a dirty look, "I was doing great before you woke me up." With my need to sleep now completely gone, I gave him my full attention, "So, what is it?"
His smile faded, “William told me what you said to him at the festival.”
My heart constricted, “You saw that?”
“Damon and I saw the whole thing. It was scary honestly; you’re a frightening woman sometimes.”
“You spoke to your dad?” That was surprising because I don’t think both men had spoken to each other in months.
“We talked for a while actually.” He responded, his voice low and my brows almost touched my hairline.
"Really?" He nodded and combed his hair back and the smell of alcohol slid up my nostrils, "You've been drinking."
“It was just one bottle. He apologized to me by the way.” My eyes widened in surprise and I sat up to hear more, “Yup, William. He explained why he did what he did too.”
“And?” I urged him on. Steve usually can’t stand seeing his father or worse, being in the same house as him and they had a whole conversation without arguing? That’s growth.
I had been pissed when I had seen William take that woman’s number at the festival. Steve’s mom, Viviane had been a sweet woman, a second mom to me even, but I had never seen William in action, playing his games and I snapped. It made me sick to my stomach.
It also made me realize just how different Steve was from his father. Despite what Steve had done after our breakup he didn’t disrespect the women he had dated, not like William.
While William had been taking that woman's phone number Diamond had been standing some
distance away, watching everything with tears rolling down her cheeks. Of course, I wasn't a fan of Diamond's and she should have known what she had signed up for but it triggered something in me because William knew she was standing there. My normal response would have been to ignore the whole mess and let them get on with their life but when I saw Diamond's face, it infuriated me and I had to get involved.
I continued to listen to Steve as he retold the conversation he had had with his father and I remained silent to the very end. We both sat in silence for a while once he was finished but I was busy chewing on my lip because his father had been right about me. I swallowed hard and released a breath through my mouth. This weekend has been nothing but a rollercoaster ride and it was time to get off. It was time for me to come clean.
“He was right.” Steve looked away from the lamp that had held his attention, “I’m scared. We ended because we knew we wouldn’t have worked out. It was a mutual breakup but it still stung. I really missed you.”
His chest rose and fell as he inhaled and exhaled heavily at my confession, “Trish-”
“I need to finish.” He nodded and moved further onto the bed so he wasn’t sitting on the edge, “Back then you hadn’t meant to hurt me and I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just how things had to be but you’re accustomed to the life of a filthy rich millionaire, you’re a bachelor. You’ve changed. You date models and celebrities now and I’ve learned to love being alone. We’re not the same people we were when we dated. What if we get back together and you end up disappointed?”
"Things would just end all over again you think?" I nodded at his question and he gave me a sad smile, "Trish, I told you, those models and celebs meant nothing to me. I was searching for you in them remember? Come on, you think you've changed so much? That you've just discovered that you like being alone?" He snorted and rolled his eyes, "Your mom used to drag you out the house at six years old to go trick or treating on Halloween. What six-year-old kid doesn't want free candy?"
I busted out laughing and he joined in, “Fine.” I agreed.