by Tara Brent
"Well, I am," I replied, adding as much chill to my voice as possible.
“You’re trying to convince yourself of that, not me.”
I rolled my eyes, "Oh get over yourself, Steve." I took a gulp of my coffee and set the cup down again, "What happened last night, wasn't supposed to. That wasn't a part of our deal but it had happened and so be it, it's in the past now, where it will stay because it's never going to happen again. I'm not going to be your plaything."
"Jesus, we talked about that last night, Trish. I don't want you to be m-"
“Morning.”
I watched Steve's jaws clench as Damon walked into the kitchen and I mumbled good morning and used Damon's entry as my means of escape.
I knew what Steve was going to say and I didn’t want to hear it. I remembered everything from the previous night, which included the conversation we had had before swapping DNA. The feelings that had been ignited from us having sex stirred happily. But I tried to suppress these feelings as I needed to move forward with my life. Or I would just get hurt again.
On my way upstairs I ran into Diamond who was just heading back to her room.
"Oh hi!" Her high pitched voice was like a nail being dragged across a blackboard, "You're Trish right?"
“That’s me.” I replied, “What’s your real name?”
Diamond’s brows knitted with confusion but her dazzling smile remained, “What do you mean?”
“Is Diamond your real name?”
“Oh yeah, I was named after my grandma.”
Trish's brow arched, "Uh-huh. Well, that's nice. I'm gonna head to my room, I didn't get much sleep."
“I can imagine.” Diamond whispered with a wink as she flipped her hair over her shoulder, “Steve’s hot. I’d definitely tap that if I wasn’t dating his dad, oh and if he wasn’t with you of course.”
I squinted my eyes at her, “Of course.”
She waved and walked away. I watched her open the door to her and William’s room and vanished inside before shaking my head and turning away. She’s on drugs, I know it. I couldn’t help the random thought of what William’s funeral would be like if all the women he had hooked up with showed up. Not that I was wishing death on him, not at all, I was just certain a fight would break out with so many ex-girlfriends in one place and oh, there would be a lot of them.
Once inside my room, I slammed the door shut and slid down to the floor. I had been doing so well with handling my feelings for Steve, allowing them to slowly fade as I learned to find peace with being alone. I had finally gotten to a place where I was alone but not lonely and had found myself wanting nothing more than to remain single for however long. I had no desire to be with someone just to say I have someone.
There is a peace that comes with being single if you aren’t bitter and lonely, it’s liberating; for me at least.
Someone knocked on the door and I closed my eyes, “I’m busy!”
The person knocked again and then again and I saw red. I jumped to my feet and yanked the door open, “What!”
Nathan’s shocked eyes looked like they would fall out of his head and his bottom lip began to quiver.
“Oh my God, baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was you, I’m so sorry.” I scooped him up into my arms and carried him inside the room, “Don’t cry. I’m so sorry. Aunty didn’t mean to yell.”
“What I do?” His little voice broke as he wrapped his arms around my neck and hid his face in the crook of my neck.
“You didn’t do anything little prince, I swear. I’m so sorry. Aunty didn’t sleep well, so I’m grumpy.”
He moved back to look at me, his lip still quivering and I felt like punching myself in the face. Nathan was in first place for me and everyone came after. My name had been his first word, much to Katherine's annoyance and after that, for months it was the only word he wanted to say.
“I want ice cream.”
I chuckled and shook my head and his face broke out into a grin. The kid was a player already.
“It’s 6 in the morning Nathan but hey, how about I sneak some into your room later tonight after dinner?”
“Deal!” He squealed and hugged me again.
"You're going to be a businessman, I can tell. You like making deals huh?" He nodded against me and I placed him onto the bed, "What do you want to do?"
“Movie.”
“Have you eaten breakfast as yet?” I squinted my eyes at him with my hands on his hips and he nodded his head vigorously.
Someone knocked on the door and Katherine’s head peeped in, “Nathan, time for breakfast, morning sis.”
I gasped and spun around but Nathan had already slipped from the bed and was making a dash for the door, “You lied to me! Get back here!”
He darted past his mom screaming and we both shook our heads and laughed, “You’re raising a little monster.” I teased.
“Am I? Well, he takes after his aunt. Where’s Steve?”
I cocked my head in the direction Nathan had run, doing my best to keep my true feelings off my face, "In the kitchen with Damon I think."
"Okay let's go, I'm making breakfast for everyone."
I panicked, “Oh no, I already ate, thanks I’m just going to get some more sleep.”
“No no.” She tsked at me and grabbed my arm, "Sleep when you're dead if you already ate you can sit with us and watch us all eat."
“That doesn’t sound like fun and I can hear my bed moaning in pain from my absence.”
Katherine shrugged and turned away, feigning nonchalance, "Well, then you shouldn't have eaten knowing I always make breakfast for everyone. I was even thinking about making chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes. You know, with them being mixed into one."
My mouth fell open as she continued to strut away from me, “You wouldn’t.”
“Oh yes.” She called over her shoulder and I closed my room door to follow her.
"That's low Kat, that's a really low blow. You can't make my favorite now, I'm not hungry, do it tomorrow.”
She spun around suddenly, a Cheshire’s grin on her face and my eyes lowered into slits, “You want something.” I said.
She rolled her eyes, her grin still in place as she did a seesaw motion with her shoulders, “Oh you know-”
"Spit it out, woman."
She grew serious, “I bought Damon a ring.”
My eyes darted from left to right with confusion, “So? What kind of ring?”
“I want to be the one to ask him to marry me. So this time around I want to propose to him.”
If I was drinking something right now, Katherine would have been drenched in it, “Oh.” I said, my eyes wide, “That’s great.”
Her eyes wandered over my face at my reaction, "Be honest Trish. You're the only person I know that'll be brutally honest about this. This doesn't happen often like I mean, women don't propose often and I'm nervous as shit."
“Kat, you’re literally already married to the man.”
“Yes but you’re missing the point, I meant-”
I held my hand up to stop her rambling, “Just do it.”
She pulled a face, “Really?”
“Yeah. Why not? Damon loves you and you’re the mother of his child, an amazing child. He’ll be blown away hearing you propose to him.” I held onto her shoulder and her smile returned, “He’ll love the gesture. Trust me.”
She sighed with relief and placed her hand on her chest, “Okay good because I already bought the rings.”
“So, you were going to bribe me with pancakes just to get my opinion on something?” She nodded and I frowned, “Am I really that bad?”
She nodded again, “Sometimes.”
Wow, I thought to myself, somewhat wounded and ashamed. I knew I was more than capable of being cold at times and some might even go as far as to say I can be a bitch but for my sister to feel the need to bribe me just to speak to me was a painful stab in the gut. We've had our differences but at the end of the day, she's my one and only sist
er.
My mind wandered back to the harsh words I had said to Steve in the kitchen and I realized how immature I had been. I had been a bitch to him. I'm a grown woman, not a teen unable to speak about her feelings.
We walked into the kitchen to find Nathan entertaining Damon, William and Diamond with a very animated story.
“Where’s Steve?” I asked and Damon pointed to the door.
“Down by the lake house I think.” He said with an odd look on his face.
I nodded my thanks and went upstairs for my jacket. There are a few things I need to get off my chest.
***
I made my way down to the lake house but when I reached there I found it empty. I spotted Steve through the window, standing by the lake’s edge so I made my way back outside. My anxiety was spiking and it was ridiculous because all I was going to do was apologize for snapping at him. It had been uncalled for. So here I am, trudging my way through the snow with my heart lodged in my throat.
The opportunity had been there to stop what had happened and I didn't stop it, I had wanted everything he had done to me but he was right, we needed to talk about it. I hated fighting with Steve whether we are together or apart.
The snow crunched beneath my feet until I stepped onto the concrete pathway surrounded the house that had less snow covering it.
“Aw come on, I know you miss me.” I heard Steve say and I skid to a halt. Who is he talking to?
“Don’t worry, I’ll be back on Monday and you’ll have me all to yourself again,”
I clenched my fists and bit down on my lip. A tiger never changes its stripes. A player can never stop playing games.
I turned around to make my way back to the main house and the cold from the air seeped into my heart. I shook my head and the wind picked up strands of my hair, causing them to dance around me. Why was I hurt? Why was I furious? Why did I want to turn around, march back down to the lake and kick him in the nuts? The entire weekend was a lie of course but his words to me last night had been too. I had walked right into this when I agreed to fake being back with him.
“Trish?”
I spun around, “Yes?”
He placed his phone into his pocket, “What are you doing out here?”
I used my tongue to poke my cheek out, fighting to not say the expletives on the tip of my tongue, “Damon said you were out here.”
He had the audacity to smirk at me and I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets, I wanted to break his face, “Ready to say you’re sorry?”
“Oh fuck you, you piece of shit!”
I turned around, not missing the way his smirk fell and continued with my march back to the main house. I’m leaving, fuck this holiday and him. I’m going back to the city, to my condo and plastic plates.
I could hear him running to catch up to me and I started to walk more briskly, “Why do I feel like you meant all that just now and it wasn’t, you know, our usual banter?”
“Well, aren’t you a perceptive one.”
He held onto my arm and I stopped, turning to face him slowly. I looked down at his hand holding mine as if I could make it catch fire and he released me, “What’s going on Trish? You know you can talk to me. Are you really so upset about what happened last night? If you are then I’m sorry, I thought,” he swallowed, “I thought you wanted what happened.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, “Yeah, I wanted what happened and I am sorry about snapping at you earlier.” He started to smile and I held my hand up, “This entire weekend was a mistake.”
“Yeah so you had me and then you lost me.”
“I think we should leave the past in the past. You’ve changed and so have I”
“Yes, what we had back then was great but there was a reason we couldn’t carry on Steve. I’m not interested in casual relationships. And you’re still the same”.
He stepped closer to me, “I've changed Trish, give me a chance.”
I stepped back because his conversation on the phone had been all the proof I needed, “It won’t work. Let sleeping dogs lie, Steve, let's just get through this weekend and go back to our lives. Please."
I walked away from him and this time he didn’t follow. I heard him curse under his breath, frustration clear in his voice and I dug my nails into my palms. I returned to the kitchen, took the pancakes Katherine made for me and was about to leave when she stopped me.
“Hey, wait, where’s Steve?”
"He's still outside," I said, biting into one of the pancakes in hopes that it would save my mood that was rapidly going downhill.
Katherine looked behind her at the back door and then at me, her eyes sad, “Are you guys fighting?” I said nothing and her face fell even more, “I thought you guys were good again?”
I could feel an oncoming headache, “Everything is okay Kat, let’s just enjoy the holidays okay. I really didn’t sleep well last night so I’m going to eat these delicious babies you made for me, thank you by the way and then get some sleep okay?”
Steve walked in, took one look at William and Diamond and left the room. Katherine looked over at Damon who gave her the same pitiful look and I sighed and walked away.
Chapter Six
I woke up as the sun was saying goodbye to make way for the night. Rolling onto my side I found a note from Katherine saying she had already left with Nathan who wanted to enjoy the Christmas festivities before nightfall.
I groaned at the rest of the note that said Steve had offered to stay back to drive me to the festival once I wake up. I crumbled the note in my hand and threw it across the room.
“Great.” I murmured to myself and got out of bed.
I picked out a black sweater dress and stockings to wear and took a shower. I washed and dried my hair, applied mascara and then applied some blush to my pale cheeks. I stared at myself in the mirror, turning my head from side to side before pulling my hair up into a slick high ponytail before picking out gold hoop earrings.
"You look good, bitch, real good. Now, put a smile on."
I did as the woman in the mirror said and smiled and after a second my fake smile became genuine. Having gotten more sleep I felt refreshed so after applying more blush, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and found a note on the microwave with my name. My smile grew wider and I turned the microwave on to reheat the dinner Katherine had left for me while humming a tune.
I’ve always been a food lover. As a child Katherine watched what she was eating because of competing in pageants and wanting to keep a slim figure, I would pretty much be the only one eating the groceries our mom would buy. For a time I had been chubby.
I frowned at a memory of my first day at high school when a boy in my homeroom pointed out that I was repulsive because I was overweight. Of course, Steve punched him in the face but after my first year of high school, I started to shed that weight. My waist got smaller and my hips had a nice curve to them and that same boy ended up asking me to prom.
I turned him down of course.
Taking my dinner to the living room I devoured it within minutes. I finished my glass of wine and rubbed my tummy, “You’re a darling Kat. I should be nicer to you.”
“Yes, you should.” I heard Steve say and I looked behind me to find him leaning against the wall.
“One of these days you’re going to sneak up on me and I’m going to punch you, accidentally of course.”
“Of course.” He said but I could hear the laughter in his voice. “Are you ready to go?”
I picked up my plate, “Yeah, just give me a minute.”
A few minutes later we were on our way into town but neither of us was speaking. I tried to lose myself in the Christmas carol that was playing but from time to time I would look at Steve from the corner of my eye.
“So,” He drawled, “you’re going to Rebecca’s party tonight right?”
“Yeah, Katherine said she invited us both and you know Rebecca is worse than Katherine.”
He chuckled and cleared his throat, "
Trish darling, I didn't see you at my party." I looked over at him who was busy trying to make his voice sound feminine, "Did you come? Oh, you didn't, shame, well now you owe me lunch so we can catch up. That's tomorrow at six, later gorgeous."
I held my head back and laughed, long and hard, “That’s literally something she’d say.”
“She’d throw in a fake kiss too at the end.” He added as he turned onto the road that would lead to where the festival is. “I hate when people do that.”
"Tell me about it," I said, my laugh slowly dying away but a smile remained on my face.
“You look great by the way.”
I was flattered, “Oh, ah, thanks. It’s not too Goth for Christmas?”
“Katherine might have a stroke when she sees you but I think you look great. I like your hair up like that.” His fists tightened on the steering wheel as we got to the entrance for the festival and joined a small line of traffic going in.
"Thanks," I said again, my voice lower this time and I grew uncomfortable. Awkwardness, I couldn’t stand it.
The car crawled forward an inch at a time and I checked the time on my phone. It was already 6:45pm and the Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony was going to take place at 7pm. It felt like ants were crawling under my skin as I locked my phone and slipped it back into my purse, I hate awkwardness. I removed my seatbelt, not being able to handle the silence any longer, “I think I’ll just get out here and find Kat and Nathan.”
“Oh, will you be driving with me to the party or...?”
I pulled on my jacket and wrapped my scarf around my neck, “I’ll just go with Kat, thanks though.”
I opened the door, got out and wrapped my arms around my midsection as I made my way to the entrance. I didn’t look back although I wanted to. I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed, I’m such a fool. Leaving like that had only made things more awkward.
“Idiot.” I cursed myself as I made my way through the crowd, praying that the ground would open up and swallow me, putting me out of my misery.
***
Damon handed me a cup with soup and I blew on it, watching the steam dance before taking a sip, “I think Trish heard me talking to Roxanne.”