by Leddy Harper
Then she said, “Over my dead body,” and I felt justified.
But first, I had to make sure the nails were fully set in the coffin. “I don’t trust him, especially after reading over the contract he gave her. They had agreed on certain terms, yet he hadn’t changed any of them before trying to get her to sign it. Luckily, she didn’t do anything before letting me go through it.”
She shook her head, and I knew we were getting somewhere.
“Now, from what he told her, it was an oversight. But if you ask me, I don’t believe it. I wasn’t at dinner with them, but I wouldn’t put it past him to have pressured her into signing it right then and there. Again, this is only my take on what she told me when she gave me the contract to look over.”
“They had dinner together? Like a date?”
At least it didn’t appear that she suspected us of dating. “As far as I’m aware, she didn’t see it that way, but with how forward he is with her, I wouldn’t doubt that’s what he’s expecting. But don’t worry, I spoke to her after she left, so I know nothing transpired between them. Although, I worry that he might’ve asked her to join him in L.A. in the hopes of arranging something.”
Watching her lips purse and her cheeks turn red, I knew, without a doubt, that I’d gone too far with that last bit. If Mady found out that I’d been the one who told her mom all of this—and really, there was no way she wouldn’t find out—then, at the very least, I could kiss our relationship goodbye. Possibly that and my job.
But before I could pull her back from the brink of territorial-parent mode, she smiled and said, “Thank you, Finn. There’s no way Madelynn would’ve ever told me any of that, so really, I appreciate your insight on the situation.”
“Please, whatever you do, don’t let her know that it came from me,” I begged. “I’m only trying to look out for her, and if she thinks she can’t trust me, then she’ll let me go. I don’t want that to happen.”
She leaned closer and whispered, “Neither do I.”
After offering me a wink, she rounded the small island I sat at and disappeared behind me.
There was a good chance I wouldn’t live to see how this would end.
19
Mady
I wished I could’ve said that L.A. was a lot of fun.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t.
When my mom stopped by on Monday—like I knew she would—she was very adamant that I not go alone. Since Finn couldn’t reschedule his landscaping project, and none of my friends could take off with such short notice, I was left with Gia tagging along.
Luckily, Gia had spent most of the time doing her own thing, so at least I didn’t feel like I had a babysitter, which was exactly what my mom had intended when she’d forced me to bring her. All in all, the trip was successful—albeit, really short—and I couldn’t wait to get home.
It was after ten by the time I landed, but I was eager to see Finn. So I’d sent him a couple texts to see if he was home. However, he hadn’t returned either message. He’d done the same thing while I was away, though he used the excuse that he’d been busy with the landscapers, and at night, he apparently fell asleep early. At least, that was what he’d told me when I questioned his lack of texts and calls. While it didn’t feel right, I’d refused to allow myself to overthink it.
Since it was late, I’d decided to head home, rather than drive out of my way to discover he was asleep. He planned to come over Friday morning, so I didn’t have to worry about going another day without seeing him. Although, the hours between getting home and waking up the next morning dragged, making it feel like forever.
Finally, at ten to nine the next morning, he showed up at my house.
I whipped open the door and jumped into his arms without bothering to check if he was ready for me. I put my nose into the crook of his neck and hung on. I’d missed him more than I thought I would. I never wanted to take another trip without him, which scared me. It had only been a couple of days, yet it felt like an eternity.
“Hey, Mads. How are you?”
“I’m good. I missed you.” I pulled away while keeping my hands on his forearms, and that’s when I saw it. The unmistakable look in his eyes. While I was away, I’d concluded that he hadn’t answered my texts because he was busy, but his gaze told a different story.
“Yup. Me too.” He pulled away and went inside.
I was left on my front porch, confused at what had just happened. I didn’t expect our reunion to be textbook perfect, but what the fuck was that?
“Finn, you okay?” I closed the door behind me and met him in the living room, where I found him standing in front of the couch, stock still.
“Yup. Fine.”
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. He was not fine. I knew him well enough to know better. And as a woman, I also knew the full meaning of the word fine—which was anything but. I stared at him with my arms crossed, daring him to make the first move, because I wasn’t going to. I didn’t even know what this was about. But after what felt like a hundred years, I couldn’t take it any longer.
I always lost in standoffs, because my patience meter had been depleted upon birth.
“I missed you,” I tried again. “In fact, I learned something about myself on this trip. I don’t want to travel without you ever again.” I walked to him and clasped his hands in mine, something he’d always done to me when he needed to feel connected. Yet, it didn’t work this time. The vacant look was still very evident in his eyes.
“Sounds good.” He pulled away, which felt like a slap in the face.
Just the prickle in my nose meant that tears were on the horizon, so I took a deep breath and readied myself for what was coming.
“What’s on the docket today? I didn’t see any new agenda items added, so I’m hopeful it will be a short day. I need to head home early. I’m beat after the week I’ve had.”
“Head home early?” The tears threatened to spill over now. He didn’t want to spend time with me.
“Yeah. You’re probably tired, too, since your plane got in so late last night.” He headed to the kitchen table and popped open his laptop, but he stood standing as if waiting for me to follow his lead.
Except I couldn’t. I didn’t want to follow this lead. I wanted the Finn who would throw caution to the wind and take me to bed where we’d have sex all day. Or the Finn who was flirty and coy, playing footsies with me under the table while trying to accomplish our task list. And then, when two in the afternoon hit, he’d throw me over his shoulder and run to the bedroom. I didn’t know this Finn, the one who currently stood at my kitchen table, but something drastic had happened.
“Finn…” My voice wavered, so I took a steadying breath before I continued. “Please talk to me. What’s going on? I missed you so much that I actually contemplated driving over to your house last night, even if I woke you. But the lack of responses to my texts and phone calls held me back. Tell me what’s happening. Please!”
My pleading words seemed to fall upon deaf ears. He’d closed himself off, and I couldn’t see a way to penetrate the hard exterior he’d set in place.
“Do you really want to know what’s wrong? Because I don’t think you can handle it, Mady. I suggest you think for a second before you ask me that again.” His gruff tone made me think twice, but nothing he had to say could be that bad. I trusted that we could overcome almost anything.
“Yes. I want to know.” My chin jutted out in defiance, yet it didn’t prepare me for what came out of his mouth next.
“You fly off to meet another guy and spend two nights with him. How am I supposed to feel about that?” The inferno that blazed in his eyes lit mine on fire.
“You’re seriously bringing up Mickey again?” I tossed my hands in the air and then slapped them on the table for added effect, if only to show him that I wouldn’t be intimidated by his anger or jealousy. “We’ve been over this! And I took Gia! I was never alone with him, not that you have any reason to question that. You said you trusted
me.”
“I do. I trust you implicitly.”
“Obviously not.”
He sighed, and for a split second, I started to believe he was backing down. That was, until he said, “He has experience, Mady. You don’t understand what a shark he is. You’re just a minnow, who he’ll snap up in one bite. Then, once he’s done with you, he’ll spit you out.”
I shrugged, not understanding where this was all coming from. There was no way it could be about Mickey. We’d discussed this ad nauseum and decided to squash it before the trip. It had to be about something else, something he’d disguised with his disdain for Mickey.
“Why are you so convinced that I can’t take care of myself?”
“Because, Mady, if it wasn’t for me, you would’ve entered a contract that would’ve fucked you over.” He huffed and puffed, like the big bad wolf. Only, I knew this wasn’t him. Something must’ve happened while I was away, but no matter how hard I racked my brain, I couldn’t come up with anything.
“That’s not true.” I let out a sigh before continuing. “Let’s both sit down and discuss this rationally.” I was determined not to lose my cool, since he already had. I needed to remain levelheaded if I had any hope of getting this sorted.
“Fine. Let’s discuss it.” Without taking a seat, he typed on his computer and then turned the screen around. There was a picture of me giggling, while wearing three different sunglasses all over my head. But the clincher was where I sat, which was smackdab on Mickey’s lap. The picture wasn’t bad, per se, but he did have his hand on my thigh. It hadn’t felt like it was inappropriate in the moment.
“Okay.” At first, I felt defenseless. That picture definitely looked inappropriate, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I became. “You said you trusted me.”
“I do. But if the situation was reversed, how would you feel? Put yourself in my shoes. Your boyfriend is at home while you flirt the night away with a man who’s twice your age—a man who would more than likely do anything to get into your pants.”
“Whoa!” I held up my hand. “If the roles were reversed, and I saw a picture of you and a woman in that position, I would think there’s a good explanation for it. Period. I’d ask you about it, not just pop off with my own unfounded assumptions.”
“You and I both know that isn’t true. What was the first thought that raced through your mind when you found Marissa at my house wearing my shirt?”
My cheeks flushed at the thought, because I did jump to the wrong conclusion. But that was different. “Did I accuse you of anything? Did I accuse her of anything? No. I could’ve left as soon as I saw her—or hell, even just her car in your driveway—and then blown up at you the next day. But I didn’t. I stayed, Finn. To find out what was going on.”
“You posted a picture of you with another guy, Mady!” he blurted out.
I laughed. Hard. I couldn’t help it. “Seriously? This was a publicity thing. Nothing more! And I didn’t post it. Gia did. She was assisting me, remember? Because my assistant couldn’t make it.” I dropped my head back and released a growl of frustration. “This is ridiculous! I can’t believe we’re fighting over a meaningless picture.”
“I know that my jealousy has something to do with why this bothers me, but it’s also wrong. You shouldn’t post pictures like this when you’re in a relationship with someone else.” He kept his finger pointed to the screen, as if I’d forgotten what picture he was referring to.
So I stepped closer, and not only pointed to it as well, but actually touched the screen so there would be no confusion over my explanation. “His hand was on my thigh because it was a windy day, and my skirt kept flying up.”
“Oh! That makes this so much better. Thank you, Mady, for clarifying things.” Finn stomped off toward the living room, which wasn’t a good sign.
I threw my hands up, which was an accurate depiction of how I felt about this conversation. I was done. But I followed him anyway.
“People take advantage of you, Mady. And that’s exactly what this asshat is doing. Why can’t you see that?”
I took a seat on the couch and dropped my head into my hands, unable to keep this up for much longer. I hated arguing, almost as much as I imagine I’d hate a root canal. But I wasn’t about to concede on this. I’d done nothing wrong, and if he couldn’t accept that, then it was his problem. Not mine.
“This whole time, have you not once stopped and asked yourself what he could possibly want with you? Did it never cross your mind that he was using your age to his advantage? Seriously, Mady…think about it. How many other designers—or whatever the hell he is—have taken you out to dinner, or invited you out of town…and paid for it!”
By this point, my hands had already fallen to my lap, my stare set on him. He couldn’t be serious, and if he was, then we had much bigger problems than his jealousy. “Are you trying to tell me that there’s no possible reason he’d want to work with me? That I have absolutely nothing to offer him or his company? Really, Finn…think about it for a second before answering.”
After a long sigh, he finally took a seat on the couch, except on the other side so that we weren’t anywhere near each other. “I’m not saying that you don’t have anything to offer. You know I’d never think that.”
“Then I’m confused. What are you saying exactly?”
“That he’s taking advantage of you. He’s a smart guy; you have to know this about him. Which means, everything he does is probably very calculated, all done with one goal in mind—to benefit himself. Bringing you to L.A. wouldn’t help his business, but it would be personally beneficial to him.”
I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. “He didn’t bring me out there for him, Finn. He did it to help my brand. Why can’t you just push aside your own feelings about him and see where I’m coming from? If anything, his invitation to appear at his pop-up was basically his way of thanking me for promoting him. Being there brought my name a shit-ton of attention.”
“That’s what he wants you to think.”
“No! That’s what it is!” I took a deep breath to try to calm myself, but nothing seemed to be working. I was so angry I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get through this without strangling him. “If he wanted to try something, why didn’t he?”
“How do I know he didn’t? It’s not like you tell me everything anyway.”
Baffled, I shook my head and studied him for a moment. “What haven’t I told you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said and pushed himself off the couch, as if to head back to the kitchen.
But I beat him to it. I grabbed his wrist and kept him from walking away. “No, tell me, Finn. What is it you think I haven’t told you?”
“I don’t know.”
“You can’t accuse me of something and then dismiss me when I ask you about it.” Defeated, I released his hand and then fell back onto the couch. “Never mind. I give up. I can’t keep doing this with you; it’s too exhausting. Your jealousy is too exhausting.”
“I knew this would happen.” His shoulders slumped forward, and his voice was filled with a sadness I’d never heard from him before. “Go ahead, Mady…give up like everyone else has.”
That was enough to get me on my feet, practically in his face. “Don’t stand here and put this on me. You’re the one making accusations with absolutely no evidence to back them up. It’s not my fault if you can’t control that green-eyed monster inside you.”
“At least I can admit my imperfections.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He lowered his face until it was close enough to mine that I could feel the heat of his breath when he said, “You can’t even admit to your own assistant that you have dyslexia.”
The world stopped and failed to continue spinning on its axis. My palms grew sweaty and my mind went blank. I couldn’t form a single, solitary word, no matter how hard I tried. My mind whirled at who in my inner circle would’ve told him something so personal, which brought
forth an entirely different emotion—betrayal.
“H-how did you find out about that?”
Regret flashed in his eyes, yet at least he didn’t try to backtrack. “I overheard your mom and someone else talking about it at your uncle’s party.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I tried.” Finn huffed beneath his breath. “I was going to discuss it with you after the party, but then…well, you know what happened after that.”
“But what about the next day or the day after? Why didn’t you tell me then?”
“This shouldn’t be about me not telling you. It should be about you telling me. You asked me to do a job, yet didn’t disclose all the necessary information.”
“That’s my prerogative. Whether or not I want to share personal information about myself with someone isn’t anyone else’s decision.” I couldn’t believe I had to tell him that. “Who are you to judge me for that, anyway?”
“I’m not judging, Mady. But don’t you think I should’ve known?”
“No. I don’t. Because my disability doesn’t define me.”
He balked and shook his head. “Then why hide it? Why not own it?”
My head began to hurt, and I couldn’t seem to form sentences any longer. This conversation was just going in circles, like water swirling down the drain. It was apparent that this was the end, so why not just rip off the bandage?
“You’re right, Finn. I wasn’t honest with you, and you weren’t honest with me. But that doesn’t give you the right to come in here and throw around accusations and call me a liar. All of this is fueled by your jealousy—not Mickey or some photo or even my dyslexia—and I cannot do it anymore. I think you should leave.”
Finn’s eyes pleaded with mine, but my decision was made. I refused to be with a guy who couldn’t keep his emotions in check. Period. I’d dealt with betrayal, due to my disability, and jealousy, due to my bubbly personality, my entire life, never letting it break me.