Keeping 13: Boys of Tommen #2

by Chloe Walsh

  "Hi, Shannon." I heard his crutches clatter to the ground as his arms came around me and then I was enveloped in the warmth and security I felt like I had been chasing my whole life. "I promised I would."

  This isn't safe for you, my mind protested, you feel too much for this boy, too deeply. Getting attached to him is a bad idea…

  "Shan!" Claire's voice filled my ears and my head snapped up. It was only then that I noticed her and Gibsie standing slightly back from the door. She looked back at me, brown eyes filled with tears, and waved awkwardly. "Hi!"

  At the sight of her, something snapped inside of me and a sob tore from my throat. "Hi," I strangled out, as I detangled myself from Johnny and moved for her.

  "God!" She met me halfway, wrapping me up in a hug so tight, I flinched. "Are you okay?" she demanded. Sniffling loudly, she released me and stepped back, letting her gaze trail over my body. "Oh my god, Shan, what happened – I can't – I don't even know what to – girl, you better be okay!" Grabbing my hoodie, she dragged me back in for a monster hug. "I'm so mad at you," she hissed as tears dripped freely down her cheeks. "And I'm so mad at me – and him." She glared at Darren, who was still standing in the doorway. "He's not as nice as I remember."

  "I'm okay," I squeezed out, patting her back. "Just please be gentle."

  "Of course," she sobbed, loosening her hold once more. "Oh god –" her words broke off and her face contorted in pain. "Your face."

  "I'm okay, Claire," I gently reminded her. "I'm here." I'm alive.

  "I just love you so much," she cried. "You don't even get how important you are to me!"

  "Can I get in on this action?" Gibsie asked and then wrapped his arms around the both of us. "Group hugs," he mused, ruffling both our heads before stepping back and pulling out a box of cigarettes from his jeans pocket. "Good for the soul." Smiling to himself, he placed a cigarette between his lips and sparked up.

  "Hi, Gibsie," I sniffled, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

  "Little Shannon," he replied with a wink. "You good?"

  I nodded weakly.

  "Damn straight you are," he said, tone encouraging. "Little fighter."

  "You look like a panda bear," Claire croaked out, touching the dark circles under my eyes. "Are you sleeping?"

  Not a wink because I'm tortured with nightmares. "It's just bruising."

  She flinched. "I'm sorry."

  "It's okay," I whispered, offering her a watery smile. "I'll be okay."

  "Ask her now," Johnny barked, drawing all of our attention back to where he was still locked in a stare-down with my brother. "Ask your sister what she wants. Ask her if she wants us to leave. Go on. Fucking ask her!"

  "I've already told you," Darren growled. "She's not–"

  "I want to stay with my friends for a while," I mumbled, surprising everyone. I felt four pairs of eyes land on my face and my cheeks burned. Stiffening my spine, I looked at my brother and said, "I'm going to spend some time with my friends."

  Darren looked at me in defeat. "You shouldn't be outside after your procedure." He ran a hand through his hair and stifled a groan. "You shouldn't be going anywhere without me or Joey." He gave me a meaningful stare. "Think about this."

  I didn't need to think about it. I already knew what he was referring to.

  Dad.

  He was out there somewhere and Darren was terrified of him getting ahold of one of us.

  My old friend fear roared to life, sucker punching me in the gut, and I physically flinched.

  What if he finds you?

  What if he comes back?

  What if she takes him back while you're gone and he's in the house when you get home?

  What if –

  "I'll look after her," Johnny announced in a tone so sincere, there left no room for doubt. Darren didn't respond to him so Johnny turned his heated gaze on me. "I'll look after you," he repeated, blue eyes locked on mine. "I will."

  Exhaling a ragged breath, I nodded. "Okay."

  Relief flooded his features. "Okay?"

  "Yeah," I breathed, nervously clasping my hands together. "I want to go with you." I flicked my gaze back to Darren and saw the disappointment in his eyes, but held my nerve. "I'm going with him, Darren."

  Darren shook his head, muttered something unintelligible under his breath, and then stepped outside. Retrieving Johnny's crutches off the ground, Darren handed them to him and hissed, "You better mean that because this isn't a game, kid," before walking back inside. "Remember what I said, Shannon," he added.

  When the front door slammed shut behind him, I released the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

  Claire beamed at me. "Girl, my pride levels are so high right now they could not possibly be measured." She took my hands in hers and squeezed. "How does it feel to finally stick up for yourself and win?"

  I shrugged, feeling confused. "Unnerving?"

  "I know the appropriate song for this," Gibsie said, draping an arm over Claire's shoulder. Tossing his cigarette butt in the neighbor's garden, he waved a hand in front of them and said, "Bon Jovi – It's My Life."

  "Perfect!" Claire chirped, wrapping an arm around his waist as they strolled down the garden path towards his car. "You know what, Gerard? You can be pretty smart when you're not being pretty stupid."

  Laughing, he pulled her into his side. "I know, right?"

  "Shannon." Johnny's deep voice came from behind me, causing a shiver to roll through my body. "Are you okay?"

  "I'm not sure," I admitted quietly, resisting the urge to lean back and feel his body pressed to mine.

  "Do you still want to come with me?" he asked, standing so close to me that I could feel the heat emanating from his body. "It's okay if you don't. I'm just happy that I got to see you."

  Nodding, I turned to look up at him. "That's the one thing I am sure of."

  The sound of car tires screeching loudly caused me to startle and I stiffened, instantly panicked and on edge. Johnny shifted closer to me and I automatically burrowed into his side. "It's okay," he coaxed, frowning at something over my head. "I think it's your brother?"

  "My brother?" Frowning, I spun around to see Joey stumbling face-first out of the back of a moving car. "Joey?" I called out, hurrying towards him. "Joe!"

  The car that had deposited my brother beeped twice before speeding off down the terrace. I narrowed my eyes and glared at the black, souped-up Honda Civic as it tore off out of sight.

  Awareness dawned on me, cold and ugly, as I registered who that car belonged to and what said person represented to my brother.

  Nothing good.

  "Was that Shane Holland?" I demanded when I reached him, out of breath and panting. "What the hell, Joey! I thought you left that behind you."

  "Shan," Joey slurred, laughing to himself, as he rolled onto his back and sighed in contentment. "How's it going?"

  "Get off the road, you idiot," I growled, feeling a mixture of relief and terror course through me. "Joey, get up right now!"

  He mashed his lips together and sighed. "I missed ya."

  "You're going to get killed," I hissed, glaring down at my brother. "Get up before someone drives over you!"

  "Let them," he laughed. "I don't give a fuck anymore."

  "Clearly," I grumbled, dropping to my knees beside him. "Does Aoife know about this?"

  "Shh," he groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Don't."

  "No, of course she doesn't." Reaching over, I checked his pockets and groaned in despair. "Well, your wallet's gone," I informed him. "And your phone!"

  "I fucked up, Shan," he whispered then. "I'm always fucking up."

  My heart cracked in my chest.

  "Joe, just get up off the road and I'll help you, okay?"

  Groaning, he shook his head. "I'm done."

  "What did you take?" I asked in a hushed tone, leaning close to his ear. "What was it, Joe? What did they give you?"

  "He's high?" Johnny asked, standing over us.

  I debated den
ying it and lying, but then thought better of it. What was the point? My brother was lying in the middle of the road in broad daylight. I could hardly pass this off as an accident. "Yeah," I choked out, shoulders sagging in defeat.

  Sighing heavily, Johnny handed me his crutches and reached down. "You're going to have to help me out here, lad," he grumbled as he caught ahold of Joey's hand and pulled him into a sitting position. The movement caused Johnny to hiss loudly and release Joey's hand. The moment he did, Joey flopped back down on the tarmac. "Fuck."

  "Mister rugby," Joey slurred.

  "Joey the hurler," Johnny acknowledged as he reached for Joey's hand again.

  "Joey, get up!" I ordered, feeling flustered and embarrassed. I had tried so hard to keep our demons hidden and now here they were, on full display. I couldn’t cope with it. It was too much. I felt too exposed. "Please."

  "Come on, lad," Johnny grunted as he tried and failed to pull Joey to his feet once more. He was seeing the worst part of my life and he was wading in, throwing himself into the mix, crutches and all. "You need to work with me here."

  "What have we got here?" Gibsie asked. Kneeling down beside me, he reached over and pulled Joey's eyelids open. "Woo, you're good and stoned, aren't ya, Lynchy?" he mused and then patted his chest.

  "Aw fuck," Joey groaned, twisting away from us. "Not that mad bastard."

  Gibsie laughed. "Glad to see I made an impression."

  "I need to get him out of here," I strangled out, panicked. "Those guys might come back, and I don't trust Darren not to call the –"

  "No worries, Little Shannon. I've got him." Catching ahold of Joey's shoulders, Gibsie dragged him clean off the ground in one clean sweep. "Now it's your turn not to puke in my car," he told Joey as he carted him over to his car and deposited him in the back seat.

  Mortified, I wrapped my arms around myself and just stood there, frozen to the bone, and drowning in my emotions.

  "Does he do that a lot?" Johnny asked, coming to stand beside me.

  I shook my head and handed his crutches back to him. "Not usually."

  He arched a brow. "Not usually?"

  I blew out a harsh breath. "Not for a long time."

  Nodding in silent understanding, Johnny adjusted his crutches and gently nudged my shoulder with his. "Come on, Shannon like the river."

  16

  Back to The Manor

  Shannon

  Feeling completely exposed, I sat in the backseat of Gibsie's car with Johnny and Gibsie in the front and Claire and Joey beside me. The radio was off, not one single word had been uttered since we pulled away from my house, and if I had a knife at my disposal, I was fairly sure I could have cut the tension enveloping the five of us.

  Joey was sprawled across the back seat, with his legs on top of Claire and his head in my lap. To her credit, Claire didn't complain or shove him off her. Instead, she proved the theory I had that she was the kindest person in the world by removing her coat and draping it over his trembling body.

  Numb, I kept my eyes glued to his face, watching as his features contorted every time Gibsie hit a pothole or took a sharp turn. "You're so stupid," I whispered, gently pushing his blond hair out of his eyes. "Do you hear me? Hanging around with Shane Holland and his friends again? You know he's bad news for you. They don't care about you, Joey. They never did. They only care about what they can get from you. They'll bleed you dry." I stroked his cheek, my fingers tracing the discoloration on his face. "God, I'm so mad at you, Joey."

  "Shan." Groaning, he clenched his eyes shut and stiffened. "Fuck."

  "Yeah, fuck," I muttered, wrapping an arm around him when Gibsie took the turn-off for Johnny's house. "What did you take?" I leaned closer, keeping my voice low. "I know you're drunk, and I can smell the weed off you, but there's more, isn't there? What was it? What did they give you?"

  He groaned again and clutched his stomach. "Sorry."

  "Stop saying sorry and start telling me what you took!" I hissed. "Was it tablets or something more? Joey, tell me, dammit!"

  "Please don't hate me," was all he replied, his words a muffled slur as he shook violently in my arms.

  Devastated, I glanced around the car and felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment. Gibsie and Johnny were both staring straight ahead and Claire was dutifully looking out the window, but I knew they were listening to us. They couldn't not.

  Tightening my hold on my brother, I remained silent for the rest of the journey, holding back the emotions threatening to overpower me, as I debated the bleak future that was laid out in front us.

  No money.

  Shitty parents.

  Painful memories.

  Fear and resentment.

  Always the fear…

  By the time we pulled up outside Johnny's house a little while later, I was completely disheartened and beginning to understand my brother's need to just forget for a while. I knew that's why he did this. Escape and forget…

  Killing the engine, Gibsie climbed out and walked around to Claire's door. "Kav, give Claire your keys to unlock the door," he instructed, helping Claire out from underneath my brother's body. "You good, Claire-bear?"

  "All good, Gerard."

  Johnny, who was outside the car and wrestling with his crutches, slipped a hand into his pocket and retrieved a set of keys before tossing them over the bonnet and pulling my door open. "It's the silver one – in the middle."

  "On it." Snagging the keys mid-air, Claire rushed ahead of Gibsie to unlock the door.

  "Thanks," I croaked, out as I scrambled out of the car and closed the door behind me.

  "Are you okay?" Johnny asked quietly, watching my every move with sharp, intelligent eyes.

  "Where are your dogs?"

  "Huh?"

  "Bonnie and Cupcake?"

  "Oh right, yeah, they're out back in their run." He gestured to his crutches and grimaced. "Can't exactly fend them off at the moment."

  I shrugged, unable to form a response, and turned my attention back to Joey.

  "Okay, buddy, let's do this." Reaching inside, Gibsie dragged Joey out of the car. Tossing him over his shoulder, Gibsie proceeded to carry my brother towards the house. "Don't puke on my –" The words weren't out of Gibsie's mouth when Joey began to vomit profusely what I could only describe as a black, charcoal substance. "Back." Gibsie groaned in defeat. "Don't puke on my back."

  "That's a good thing," Johnny said, clearly noticing my horrified expression. "It's better out than in."

  "I am so sorry about this." Shaking my head, I wrapped my arms around myself and fell into step beside him as he hobbled towards the house. "I seem to bring a constant stream of trouble into your life."

  "Don't worry about it." Pressing a crutch against the door to keep it open, he gestured for me to go inside. "I'm growing fond of your trouble."

  "You shouldn't." Sadness was blooming inside of me; the cold, hard reality of my brother's current predicament eclipsing the excitement I had felt when I saw him at my door earlier. "It's not a good thing."

  Johnny frowned but didn't object. "Come on," he said instead, inclining his head towards the entry hall.

  I hurried inside from the rain, too worn out to worry or ask questions that I didn't need the answers to. It didn't matter if his parents were home or not. It didn't matter if my insecurities made me question whether he truly wanted me here or not.

  The facts were my brother had taken some type of illegal drug, probably an obscene amount of illegal drugs, and was currently being carried up the staircase of Johnny's house. Whether I was mad with him or not was quite frankly irrelevant. He needed me and I would be there.

  God knows, I owed him one.

  "Do you want to tell me about it?" Abandoning his crutches, Johnny held on to the bannister and climbed the stairs at a snail's pace. "Joey, I mean?" he added, stopping, mid-step. "What happened back there?"

  "I don't know."

  "Don't lie," Johnny said quietly. "Not to me."

  Scrunching my
nose up, I blurted, "He was going down a bad path last year. Hanging around all the wrong places with the wrong people, and accepting all the wrong kinds of things."

  "Last year?"

  I nodded. "Before Aoife came along."

  "She steadied him up?"

  Apparently not. I shrugged helplessly. "I thought so?"

  "What was he on?"

  "I don’t know," I replied, and this time it was the truth. "He was definitely going out drinking with his friends, and I know he was smoking weed, but I'm not sure about the rest. Maybe yolks? Like ecstasy or some form of tablet? I heard my parents talking about it once, and I'm not sure how he would get his hands on anything else. He wouldn't have the money." I shrugged, feeling at a loss. "But I know he used to go off in that car during big break at school and come back for the last three classes with bloodshot eyes and a faraway look," I heard myself explain. "I think he was trying to escape? Things weren't great, and it was his way of coping with what was happening at…uh…at…well, you know." Tucking my hair behind my ear, I let my shoulders sag in defeat. "It's not like we had anybody to talk to about that kind of stuff."

  Johnny watched me carefully as I spoke, taking in every word I was speaking. "Was it a problem?"

  "I don’t know," I replied, sticking with the truth. "Joey doesn't talk. Not to anyone. Not even me. All I know is things were bad for him, worse than usual, and he was getting into more fights at school." More fights at home. "He was having trouble at training. Our f-father –" my throat bobbed and I had to swallow several times before I could continue, "well, he was furious because there was talk of Joey being thrown off the team. But then Aoife came along and within a few weeks he had cleaned up his act. He wasn’t walking around with bloodshot eyes or bouncing off the walls. He wasn't fighting as much at school. He was just…" I shook my head, trying to find the words to explain all of this. "She settled something inside of him. It was like she grounded him somehow – gave him something he clearly wasn’t getting from…" I let my words trail off.