In The Midst Of Chaos: An MC Romance

by C. Lymari

  “My niece goes missing, and none of you assholes can give me a fucking call?” She directed her question at my father.

  “We had other things to deal with,” my father told her, annoyed.

  She threw a phone at my father. His brows furrowed, not knowing what exactly he was looking at.

  Riley got closer to my father and Gunner. “That right there, that innocent little girl, is Humberto’s daughter.”

  All of our heads turned toward her.

  “How the hell do you know this?” my father asked in disbelief.

  “Always underestimating me just because I have a pussy,” Riley spat. She walked around and sat on my father’s desk.

  “Before my brother-in-law passed away, he entrusted me with a journal.”

  “Why you?” Gunner asked.

  “Don’t tell me she was fucking him,” Nate murmured, and Riley cut him with a death glare.

  “I loved my brother-in-law,” Riley said, and I almost hung my head in frustration.

  I couldn’t keep up with who was fucking who anymore. All I knew was that I needed information on my girl or I would go fucking crazy.

  “He was the only family my sister and I had. We grew up in the streets, and he offered us a better life. My sister knew he would never love her, yet she wanted to get his attention no matter the cost. I think it killed her that he never paid attention to her. Then Finley was born, and he adored her.” Riley shook her head. “That’s beside the point. When Finley left, I sent her the journal. She would know what to do to with it better than anyone else.”

  “What was in the journal?” my father asked.

  “Information on everyone who has ever crossed our data. A map into the underworld if you’d like. And my little niece took that information, picked a school and befriended Sofia since they’re close in age, knowing that it might come in useful one day. “

  I was in awe, and I felt like the biggest scum of all at the same time. I’d forced her to move out of the house, yet she found something useful to help us out. Her loyalty to me might have wavered but never to her family.

  I didn’t deserve her, no one did, but I was the only one who would fight till the end for her.

  “As soon as I got here, I noticed we were one crucial member short,” Riley said, looking around the room to where Leon’s presence was absent.

  “I thought the rat was you,” she told my father, and my eyebrows raised to my hairline. “But I now see that Leon was the only one with access to everyone. He was always the emissary between the club and the board. He was the one who notified us when meetings would go down or send messages, and I think that’s why I never got them. Or why I would do things, and then you guys would get mad at me, but I was being told I was doing it for the family.”

  That was fucking true. Riley was always in trouble for one thing or another. If Leon wanted her separated, that explained it all.

  “Leon had the power to bend information to his will, and no one would have questioned it.” Riley shrugged.

  “The guys informed me that he, along with the cartel, took Finnie, and I need her back.” Riley took a deep breath. “She’s the only family I have left. I’ve watched her from afar, but Micah said that if anything ever happened to him or my sister, I needed her to grow on her own because that’s how she would know the meaning of strength.”

  “Either Micah was a genius or a sadistic son of a bitch,” Ace murmured.

  Riley turned to him, smiling. “He just loved his daughter more than anything in this world, and he knew that people are forced to grow up when they are alone. She’s the sole beneficiary of all of his assets. That’s a lot of power.”

  She then turned to me. “Get my niece back, lover boy.”

  “There’s one thing Leon didn’t take into consideration,” my father spoke as he stepped forward. “When Duncan was born, Micah, Gunner, and I changed all of our wills.”

  “The fail-safe,” I said because this was something I already knew.

  “We never told Leon about this,” Gunner said. “He wouldn’t have understood why we did it in the first place.”

  “What fail-safe?” Nate asked, and I was surprised he didn’t know.

  “If anything happens to a founding member, all of their assets go to us,” I told Nate.

  “Meaning that you, Huxley, Duncan, Finnie, and I get everything.”

  Nate looked perplexed at the thought. He turned to look at Gunner with a questioning glare.

  Guess he didn’t know just how much he meant to the old man till just now. He blinked a few times, and we all pretended to look away so he could save his pride.

  “Leon wanted to kill us, leaving one sole heir so he could collect the money from all the accounts. But he didn’t know that if we’re all dead and only Finnie lives, she won’t get to see half of that money. We made it that if everyone died and only one member was left, they would get less than 10 percent of it, enough to live comfortably. At the same time, another percentage would go to all the members, and the rest would go to charities. Just in case there was foul play.”

  “Fuck, well, at least he needs to keep her alive,” Riley said, sounding hopeful.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The first thing to break is the mind because your body is resilient. My mind was filled with dark clouds, memories, and hallucinations that I was sure I was in a state of delirium.

  I think the events were playing tricks on me, and my brain gave me what I wanted to see.

  I had been here for a few days. I knew it was more than two because my stomach felt full yet empty like I wanted to eat, but I would throw it all up if I did.

  My father used to fast me, telling me it was to make me stronger. Never a lot, just enough so I could still function without the sense that I was starving.

  In the past few days, I’d seen my father telling me it was all going to be okay. Then I’d see him again, telling me that he would see me soon.

  Then I saw my mom. Which was weird because I’d almost forgotten what she looked like. How our hair was the exact same shade of brown, or we now had the same build.

  At other times I saw her arguing with Leon and him begging her to go away with him, telling her he would take care of her baby.

  I never had a brother, and my mom had not been pregnant when she died, so I knew then that I was losing it.

  My back ached, and I knew it was the splinter from the chair. It was probably scabbing and getting infected; I just hoped that sepsis was the easier way to go.

  At some point, I knew I had peed myself. My body wasn’t able to hold it in anymore.

  “There’s no room for pride when you’d do anything to survive.”

  My father used to tell me that all the time when we would train. Maybe that’s why I didn’t care about that now. It was the least of my worries.

  I blinked, and my mind went to Nash. I could see him smiling at me when we were younger. The brightness in those eyes as he looked down at me. Running around the clearing before either of us knew what it was used for.

  “Come on, Finnie, get up. I have to take you home to your daddy.”

  He was eleven, and I had been eight. I had broken my arm playing with Huxley. Huxley left to get help, leaving me alone, and Nash was around and came to find me. I didn’t know how, but he half carried me all the way to the manor.

  “I’m sorry for being so heavy,” I whispered because my arm hurt too much.

  He kept walking, not saying anything back because he was trying to conserve his energy. Once we got to the house and my father started running toward us, he finally spoke.

  “Never apologize for accidents. I’m just happy you’re okay, Finley.”

  Our connection had always been there, but we had been too blind to see it. We both had duties, and we couldn’t have been blinded by puppy love. We couldn’t have afforded to fall more because there couldn’t be more to us.

  That’s why he started to get away from me. It’s why I picked Huxley over him. No
w I regret not saying what I wanted to say all along. That it killed me when he’d kicked me out of his bed. That he was the only person I wanted, and it tore me up more than when I lost my parents because his cut was fresh.

  Falling in love sucked ass.

  It was like a drug that took you high, and then the moment it got taken away, the crash splintered you beyond repair.

  Footsteps sounded near me, and I didn’t even have it in me to pretend to fight anymore. I had been strong for so long. It was time I called it quits. I had lived my life the best I could have. Tried to make my father proud at every turn, and all it got me was a broken heart.

  “Levantate,” I heard someone speak to me in Spanish.

  Cold water was splashed on my face, and I blinked from the icy liquid pouring down my face.

  Humberto was there patting my cheek so I could wake up. “You reek like piss.”

  I opened my mouth to try and spit on his face, but I had no energy.

  He smiled.

  “Let’s go,” he said.

  He undid my ties, then carried me out of the house. I tried to open my eyes as much as I could to try to get a sense of where I was, but the light blinded me since I was kept in the dark for days.

  “Throw her in the back. She won’t be going anywhere,” he told someone.

  My body dropped like a bag of potatoes in what I assumed was a van. The metal hit my rib cage, making tears spring down my eyes.

  The movements of the car made my head throb and made me want to throw up. No one crashed and burned like a king—and here I was about to die.

  My state of delirium came again, and then I saw it. It was like I was ten years old again, coming out of my father’s office a few days later after picking Huxley instead of Nashton.

  My mother was arguing with Leon in the foyer.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” she scolded him.

  “I had to see you,” he said in a pleading tone I had never heard him use before.

  I stayed back, thinking it was weird that he was getting close to my mother, almost to the point where he was begging her.

  “I told you to not talk to me when you’re here,” my mother spat at him.

  “You seriously didn’t expect me to stand back when I found out you were pregnant with my child,” Leon told my mother.

  My little world was crashing all around me. The idea of marrying Huxley made me feel funny, like it was going to make me sick.

  Now my mother was having a baby…but not with my daddy.

  “It’s not yours,” she said, and I felt better.

  Leon didn’t like this news at all. His face got angry, and he held onto my mother by the elbow until she hissed he was hurting her.

  “Whose is it?” he demanded to know. “I know it’s not Micah’s because he hasn’t touched you in years.”

  “That’s none of your business,” my mother hissed, trying not to make a noise.

  “Axton? No, Eleanor would kill you if you touched him. Gunner?”

  Something passed over my mom’s features.

  “I took care of that problem, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

  “Mommy,” I whimpered, and both their heads swung my way.

  Leon still looked like he wanted to scream at my mom while being conflicted about me being there.

  “It’s okay, baby, Mommy’s fine,” she said as she pulled from Leon’s grip and walked to me.

  “I’ll see myself to Micah’s study,” Leon said as he left us alone.

  My mom ignored him and came down to kneel by me. She wrapped me in a hug. “Not a word of this to Daddy, okay, sweetie? Or else Mommy will get hurt. And you don’t want your mommy hurt, right?” she asked me.

  Of course I never wanted to see her hurt. I kissed her cheek.

  “I promise, Mommy.”

  Bile rose up my throat, and I realized I was puking my guts out. The car’s motion got me sick, plus the memory of the reason why Leon hated us, but most importantly, me.

  He had loved my mother, and she went around sleeping with everyone. I had dealt with that and accepted it because my father didn’t love her, but the fact that she got pregnant and called it a problem—that I couldn’t deal with.

  A few weeks later, she died, and I guess a part of me felt guilty because I couldn’t keep her alive, and over the years, I just forgot about that. It was easier to not think about her than to see just how messed up she was.

  Avoiding her memory kept it preserved.

  The car stopped, and then there was nothing and no one there. I heard the sound of an engine approaching and footsteps. Then it was all quiet, and I wondered if they’d left me here to die.

  The hardest lesson my father ever taught me is that a king carried his burden alone, and when it came to dying, he also died alone.

  I closed my eyes, ready to welcome the peace that was coming my way. My breathing was getting shallow, and the pain was getting numb.

  Then I felt it.

  It was like the earth started to shake, vibrating life into me. The walls of the van rocked with the intensity coming from outside.

  The roar of Harleys could be heard much stronger now. They were like a marching band coming to get me, or maybe they were taking me to the afterlife. Who knew?

  Light poured into the van, coming from behind me. It wasn’t directed at me, but it blinded me. My eyes closed when I heard someone jump inside, screaming.

  My body was lifted from the ground and was pressed against someone else. They smelled clean, and I felt embarrassed because I reeked.

  “Baby.”

  God, that voice.

  I never thought I would hear it again.

  It sounded desperate.

  “Baby, talk to me.”

  Nash held me to his chest, trying to wrap his arms all over my body while somebody said to let me go so they could check me over.

  “Finley, baby, please,” he begged.

  Talking would feel like knives going down my throat, but the desperation in his voice undid me. I wanted to soothe his pain and let him know I was okay.

  “I…” The word crawled out of my throat, trying to remain inside and stop myself from speaking.

  Nash froze. He pulled away so he could look at my face.

  His eyes were so bright and intense, it was like looking into heaven and hell at the same time.

  “S-stink,” I managed to say, and it felt like saying those two words cost me years of my life.

  His response was to pull me tighter to his chest and kiss the top of my head.

  “Never apologize for surviving, baby.”

  Sometime during the night, I woke up. It was dark, and I whimpered, scared that I had dreamed it all and I was still stuck in captivity. Thunder cracked, and I closed my eyes as if that would help me pretend like I was somewhere else.

  Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me back to a hard chest, making me feel safe.

  “Shhh, you’re safe.” Nashton’s voice was soothing and low like a lullaby.

  My arms wrapped around his arm, using him as a shield, and at that moment, I felt so weak and scared that I felt disgusted with myself.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said in a broken tone at the crook of my neck. “You shouldn’t have ever been alone, baby. You always deserved to be by my side, and I was too much of a pussy to do what was best for you.”

  I whimpered.

  Nash turned me around so we were face-to-face. The tip of his nose touched mine.

  “I can’t lose you, Finnie. I’m done doing what’s right for everyone else. I almost lost you because of it. My brother can hate me, and my father can disown me, but if you love me like I love you, then it will all be worth it.”

  It was everything I needed, but I felt like I couldn’t stand by him, not after what happened, not when I felt so broken.

  So I didn’t answer him. I didn’t even know if I imagined it.

  My head burrowed into his chest, and I cried. I let myself break in front of him once
again.

  The first time it was out of anger, but this time it felt like a relief that he was there to pick up all the pieces.

  Nash pulled me closer to his chest and rubbed my back as tremors overtook me. It was like the last few days were being washed away with the storm.

  The next time I woke up, I was alone in his room. The curtains were pulled back enough to not blind me with light but enough so I could see clearly. Knowing Nash, he did it on purpose so I wouldn’t freak out because he knew my eyes still hadn’t fully adjusted.

  It made me fall for him even more.

  I was half sitting up, my back propped up with pillows. I tried to move my legs, but the thought of doing it seemed so tiring, like it would cost my brain years to accomplish it.

  Then I tried to move my fingers, and pain radiated from my left hand. It took an effort to even get my head to tilt to the side. My arm had an IV hooked to it.

  I wasn’t surprised; I was probably dehydrated.

  The door opened and Nash walked in, holding a tray full of food. He stopped dead when our eyes clashed.

  “Baby,” he hissed as he looked down at me. His eyes went soft, but they were still full of rage.

  “Duncan?” was the first word to come out of my mouth. I didn’t even recognize my voice. It sounded hoarse and scratchy, like I had been smoking a pack of cigarettes every day for the last ten years.

  Nash put the food down by the bed, and came to me. He sat on the other side of the bed so he wouldn’t move the IV machine.

  “You fucking saved him, Fin,” he told me as he kissed my cheek.

  Wetness coated my skin, and I thought perhaps I was crying again, but this time the tears weren’t coming from me but from him.

  I looked up at him. The boy who grew up knowing he would be king next to me, and I never thought I would see the day where I would see him break.

  And he had perhaps been breaking the same way as I had since the moment we found out we could never be more than advisories to each other. That two kings couldn’t take the throne. He had been breaking alongside me, but I’d never seen it because he was too busy collecting the pieces.