by Erin Trejo
I can almost see the hand on Mayhem’s shoulder. The love that those two have for each other is amazing. Blu is a real dad. One who loves his kids with all his heart.
“She has to come back to me, Pop. I can’t live without her. I won’t.”
The hurt in his voice hurts me. I don’t want to live without him either.
“Go get some rest, Mayhem. She ain’t goin’ anywhere. Doc said your blood pressure is up.”
No, not again! Goddamn it, Mayhem! Go rest, you jackass! If only he could hear me.
“I can’t leave her,” he says softly.
Oh yes, you can! You need to rest, too. Fuck, if I could only scream at him!
“I’m stayin’. She makes one move, I’ll call you.”
“Thanks, Pop. I suppose Minnie is probably freakin’ out without her mom.” Mayhem chuckles softly.
I inwardly smile. He loves that dog, I know he does.
“I’ll be back soon, love. Fight for me, Taylor. I need you.”
God, I can feel his lips touch my skin. My heart feels like it’s racing in my chest. My world is complete with this man in it. I’ve never felt so whole in my life. I hear movement. The bed shifts next to me.
“That man needs you, Taylor. I know he’s a stubborn pain in the ass, but he’s got a soft spot. And that spot is you. We live a fucked-up life, but I don’t know that he can make it without you, darlin’. Wake up for him.”
Chapter 37
Mayhem
I walk in the front doors and spot Nuts in the corner. Pop said he hasn’t spoken to anyone since that shit happened. He tried to get to Tay and ended up getting shot himself. That takes a hell of a lot of balls to jump in front of a bullet for someone else. He refused to go to the hospital though. I walk over and sit next to him on the couch.
“I tried Mayhem. I fuckin’ tried.” He loses himself. He breaks down in tears that I didn’t expect to see from him. Nuts has always been a hardass, but I know he has a soft spot for the girls around here. He’s a fucking human being, for fuck’s sake.
“You did good, brother. Shit couldn’t have played out any other way. You did what was right. Don’t blame yourself. She’ll pull through this. She doesn’t have a choice.”
Nuts chuckles a little before looking up at me. “No choice when she has you, yeah?” He smiles. He actually fucking smiles.
“Goddamn right. I won’t let her take the easy way out. Keep your head straight, Nuts. You did good, man.” I slap my hand on his shoulder as he nods his head. I shove off the couch and head down the hallway with my heart in my throat. I can’t think straight. I don’t know what the hell to do. I can’t lose that woman. I won’t lose her. If she doesn’t wake up, I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.
I open the door to my bedroom. Minnie comes running and barking with her little tail wagging. I know she isn’t looking for me. She’s looking for Tay. I reach down and pick her up, petting her little head.
“You miss mom too, huh?” Look at what my life has come to. I’m talking to a goddamn dog! I shake my head before dropping onto the bed with Minnie.
“She’ll be back, Minnie. She wouldn’t just leave us like that. She knows we need her.” I close my eyes as Minnie curls into my side. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to think right now.
I get that she may never wake up. The doc said she had a head injury from hitting the concrete. Can you believe that? The fucking bullets aren’t what’s killing her, it’s a fucking head injury. The surgery turned out to not be anything as bad as I thought originally. They said it was more exploratory and to remove one of the bullets. Neither bullet hit anything vital. I thanked God for that, too.
Now it’s all a waiting game. Waiting for her to wake up. She has to wake up. I won’t go on living without her. There is no way that I can. My heart feels like it’s about to explode in my chest. This is far beyond anything I felt when Becca died. Not that I didn’t love her and all, but this is slowly tearing my heart from my chest. I can feel the air being sucked from my lungs. I close my eyes and try to get some rest, but all I can see is her long blonde hair, her sparkling blue eyes. The way she looked at me when I first came to her place.
I laugh thinking about that. The way she looked disgusted by me. Her eyes ran over me like I was the biggest piece of trash she’d ever seen. Then I remember the way she looked at me at the club when I was stripping. The twinkle in her eyes. God, she has to wake up. I shove off the bed clearly realizing I will not be able to get any rest. I head into the main room and grab a beer.
“Do you even know how much that girl loves you?” I look over my shoulder and see the smile on Brooke’s face.
“When did you get back?” I ask, knowing she was at the hospital.
“A little while ago. Now answer me. Do you?”
“I don’t wanna do this right now, Brooke.” I take a long pull from my beer before she slaps me. I let out a chuckle. That girl is stubborn as all hell.
“She loves you a lot. Do you know that she threatened me?”
I laugh before turning to look at her again. “When was this?”
“After she saw you dancing at the club. She called me that night. Told me that if she saw you on that stage again she’d kick my ass. I believed her, too. She was pissed.” Brooke smiles, remembering their conversation.
“She’s got some balls, that’s for sure.” I add.
“Yeah. She really does love you, Mayhem. She might not say it yet, but I can see it. It’s the way I look at Dec. You men are way too addictive.”
I reach for Brooke, pulling her into my side. “You girls don’t give us much of a choice. When we see somethin’ good, we know we gotta keep it.” I press a kiss to her temple before I just hold her closely. Brooke is a good person. She has a heart of gold. Dec did good with this one. She’s also one of my best friends.
“You holdin’ up?” Tic walks around the counter and grabs a beer.
“Yeah. I’ll be ok. She’ll wake up,” I tell him. Tic nods before taking a drink.
“You ain’t gonna give her much of a choice, yeah?” He grins at me. He knows how I am when I want something bad enough.
“Hell no. She has to. I can’t get stuck with yipper in there.” I nod toward the hallway when Brooke laughs.
“I thought you liked being a doggy daddy?” She teases me.
“That fuckin’ mutt is growin’ on me,” I mumble under my breath. I close my eyes and let out a breath. She’ll wake up. They are right. I won’t give her a choice.
Chapter 38
Taylor
I’m losing my mind. I know I am. I don’t know what day it is. I don’t know how long I’ve laid here. I do know that I’m slowly going insane talking in my own head. This is ridiculous. If that doctor asks me one more time if I can hear him and I can’t answer, I will lose my shit all together. My only saving grace is Mayhem. I love listening to his voice. He tells me all about the day and how Minnie’s doing. I think he actually likes her.
“She slept with me last night. The damn dog kept inchin’ closer to me. I think she has a thing for me,” he says with a laugh. A real laugh. I smile, and that’s when I hear it.
“Tay? Tay, can you hear me?” He sounds like he’s in a panic now. “Doc! Get the fuck in here!” He yells. I hear movement and people coming into the room. What the hell happened?
“She smiled. I fuckin’ saw her!” Mayhem says in a rush. He saw me? I did it? He knows I’m still here?
“Let me look at her,” the doctor says. My eyelids are pulled open, and the harsh light assaults my eyes. I hear myself groan.
“You hear that!” Mayhem says excitedly.
“I did. Taylor, this is Doctor Rogers. You seem to be coming back to us. I know it all feels foggy right now, but when you feel up to it, make sounds. Smile. Show us you can hear us,” he says.
Oh, I’ve heard you, asshole. The one who said I would probably never wake up again. Dick. I pull all the strength I can and try to force words from m
y throat. It comes out as a croak, but it came out!
“That’s good, Taylor. That’s really good. Don’t force it. It’ll come.” He encourages me at my lame attempt to speak.
I hear movement again before the bed shifts. I can feel his warmth. It wraps me up and holds me tight. The scent of Mayhem and leather pulls me into its embrace. His hand runs through my hair before his lips touch my cheek.
“I’ll wait for you forever, Tay. I know you’re in there,” he whispers.
I try to say his name. “May.” That’s all I can get out.
“I’m right here, baby. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
His words are reassuring. I sigh inwardly as I lie in his arms. It feels so right. Now if I could make myself wake the fuck up that would be perfect. Then again, as long as I have to be like this, I’m happy just being in his arms. Mayhem’s my safe place. I can stay in his arms forever, and nothing else in the world would matter to me. The feeling of not being wanted that my father put there fades when I’m with him.
Oh God, my dad. What happened to him? Did they arrest him? Did Mayhem find him? Why would he let his guys shoot me? So many questions and no answers. No voice to ask the answers.
“Mayhem.” His name falls from my lips. I can hear it so clearly this time.
“As much as I love hearin’ my name, you need to rest, darlin’. Don’t speak. I know you’re here now.” His lips press into my cheek, and the world slowly fades away.
Chapter 39
Mayhem
“You either tell me you got him, or I’m movin’ in on his ass.” I growl into my phone as I pace the hallway outside of Tay’s room. I need to know that her dad is handled. I need that closure, and as much as I wanted him to die by my hand, I knew Ivanov would handle it. He is higher up on the chain of command than I am.
“Have no worries, Mayhem. He was taken into custody by my men. He will be getting a transfer overseas to me.” Ivanov sounds proud of himself. I sigh in relief.
“Thank fuck. I want word when it’s over,” I tell him.
“How is your wife? Is she doing better?” Hearing him call her my wife is strange. I don’t correct him though. I like the sound of it.
“She is doin’ better. Just needs rest.”
“Good, good. Very well. I will get you proof as soon as this is handled.” Ivanov hangs up.
I dial Ruger but don’t get an answer so I send out a quick text letting him know that Ivanov has Masters handled. I know he was ready to go all in too like I was, but I guess this is better than nothing. I peek in at Tay before I head up the stairs. I need to get out of my head for a while. I need to be alone and let my brain work shit out on its own without my anger interfering with it.
I step out onto the roof and sigh. I walk across and sit against the edge letting the air rush around me. Closing my eyes, I let the world slowly fade.
I’m not sure how long I’ve sat here. I’m not sure I give a shit either. It’s a welcomed relief to be outside of myself. I need this.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I slide it out a see a text from my dad.
Blu: Get lost, motherfucker?
Me: Hidin’ out. What’s up?
Blu: Oh nothin’. I’m just talkin’ to my daughter-in-law
Me: Brooke come back?
Blue: No. The other one. Long blonde hair, blue eyes. Big tits
Me: You look at her tits, I’ll kill you.
Blu: Did you miss the part where I said talkin’?
My heart leaps in my chest. She’s awake? Like all the way awake?
I shove off the ground and run toward the stairs. I take them two at a time until I hit the fourth floor. I rush down the hall not giving a shit that people are staring at me. If she’s awake and talking, I need to get to her.
I stop in front of room 410 and catch my breath. I stare at the door. Am I ready for this? Ready to see her? I feel like this shit is all my fault, and now it’s time to face the music. I push the door open and step inside to see her blue eyes sparkling.
“Tay.” Her name falls from my lips. She smiles at me. She fucking smiles, and the world slips back into place.
“I missed you,” she says, her voice scratchy.
I walk slowly toward her before sitting on the edge of the bed. “I missed you, too. Do you need anything? Are you hurtin’?” I ignore the laugh that escapes my dad. Asshole.
“Just you.”
That I can do!
“You’ve had me, Tay.” I slide my arm behind her neck and pull her against me. God, I’ve missed this. Just feeling her against me is something I never want to let go. She makes my thoughts calm. She makes the hurt in my chest go away.
“I’m gonna get the doc back in here and let you two be alone.” My dad stands from the chair he was sitting in.
“Hey, Pop.” He turns to look at me.
“Thanks for not lettin’ me lose myself.”
He smiles and nods once before winking at Tay. “She did that, not me.”
I watch him walk out of the room before turning my attention back to her.
“You scared me, Tay. You promised you wouldn’t leave me,” I tell her. I watch her smile fade before she presses her face into my neck.
“I was always here. I never left you. I never will.”
I hold her as tightly as I can without hurting her. In this moment, I know I will never let her go. She will never be away from me.
Chapter 40
Taylor
I’d spent so much time in that hospital that I was glad to get to go home. Overall, I was there for four weeks. The doctor was worried about the head injury I had and wanted to keep an eye on it. I’m fine now though and happy as hell to be home. My home. Mayhem’s home. Wherever he is, is home. He is my home.
“Are you sure this is a good idea? She doesn’t like him,” I say as I watch Minnie growl at the new dog. Mayhem brought a puppy home because he said that she needed a friend.
“They’ll be fine. Look, it’s like when we first met. You hated me, too.” He chuckles, his eyes lighting up. That’s very true.
“She’s going to bite him!” I say not wanting the new puppy to get hurt. She really doesn’t like him.
“She won’t. She’s just showin’ him that she’s the boss.”
I laugh and say, “Like I do?” His eyes jerk to mine, a predatory stare in them.
“You think you’re the boss?” His voice has dropped to that sexy one that sets my insides on fire.
“I know I am.” I try to play the hard role, but he always wins. In fact, I like when we do this. Mayhem shoves off the floor where he was watching the dogs play and stalks toward me slowly. My body heats under his gaze.
“You think so? I bet I can show you who the boss is.” He challenges me. My heart picks up and my breathing slows. He’s so damn gorgeous.
“You think you can?” I tease him. He nods his head, sliding his shirt off and tossing it to the side. I watch him intently as he undoes his belt, then his jeans. They fall to the floor as I lick my lips. His hard muscles shift as he walks closer, my heart nearly beating out of my chest.
“Take those clothes off, Tay,” he says in a sexual tone that heats me from the inside out. I shake my head. I like to play this game with him. I like getting him worked up.
“No? Are you tellin’ me no?” He kneels on the bed, grabbing his hard dick in the palm of his hand through his boxers. Mayhem strokes it slowly, his eyes closing. I watch the look of pure ecstasy on his face, and I’m jealous. I want that look to be mine.
I reach over and grab his hand, halting his actions. His eyes snap open and lock with mine, a smirk crossing his face.
“You want it? Take off the clothes, baby.”
A shiver races up my spine as I reach for the hem of my shirt. I pull it over my head while his eyes burn my skin. The heat that radiates off him is overwhelming but welcome. I toss my shirt to the side before pulling my bra off quickly. I take him in as he strips out of the rest of his clothes too.
&n
bsp; “You know how much I want you?” he asks. I shake my head playing his game. “Lier. I can see that look in your eyes, Tay. You fuckin’ know what you do to me, to my dick.” He pushes me back onto the mattress before yanking my shorts and panties off in one swift move.
“Take all of me, Tay.” He demands as he slips between my thighs. Mayhem plunges deep inside of me. He hits all the right places. I grab at his back needing him to be as close to me as possible. He rolls his hips, and my body bucks beneath him.
“Harder,” I cry. He chuckles before giving me what I ask for. He lifts my leg over his shoulder and pounds into me until spots form behind my eyes. The harder he thrusts, the higher I become. My pussy clenches and squeezes around him as I listen to him growl.
“You’re gonna make me fuckin’ come already, Tay,” he groans as he plunges in deeper. Yes, that’s what I want. I want him to fill me. I want him to own my body the way only he can.
A few more rough thrusts and I lose all control of my body. I cum hard, my body spasming. Mayhem finds his release, filling me with everything he’d been holding back since I was hurt. His body trembles before he drops down next to me.
“Shit, Tay. You’re gonna give me a heart attack one day,” he says breathlessly. He grabs my head and pulls it to his chest. This is my favorite place to be.
“You know I love being in your arms,” I admit to him. He holds me tighter as I listen to the steady beat of his heart.
“I love you bein’ in my arms, too. You better get used to it. You ain’t goin’ anywhere,” he says playfully.
I prop myself up on his chest and gaze up at him. “How are you going to keep me?” I tease.
“I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t walk. You’ll have no other choice.”
I laugh before he kisses me. Then I melt.
“I mean it, Tay. You’re never goin’ anywhere. I want you to be mine. I love you.”
My heart stammers. He loves me? He’s never said he loved me before.