by Erin Trejo
I climb on and rev up the bike, loving the sound of the engine.
“Hey! Wait!” I look to my right. Before I can get my helmet on, I see Ash jogging toward me in heels. It’s a fucking amusing sight to see.
“Does he have any allergies or anything that I need to know about? His doctor’s number?” She’s out of breath and the loose hair that hangs down her neck is now sticking to her cheek. I reach up and brush it back with a smile.
“No. He’s not allergic to anything. All the emergency numbers are in his blue bag inside. Sorry, I should have told you all that.”
She shakes her head with a smile before she says, “I’m just paranoid. I like to have things in order, and I didn’t want to feed him anything he might have been allergic to,” she says breathlessly. It’s a cute look on her.
“Thanks again for keepin’ him. I’ll get back as soon as I can.”
“Don’t hurry. I love kids. We’ll have fun.”
I nod my head and watch as she turns on her heel and walks back toward the door. What mind fucks me? Jameson is standing there waiting for her to come back. He reaches his little hand up and waits for her to take it. He’s never been like that with anyone else who has watched him.
I slide my helmet on and rev up before I pull out on the main road. As soon as I make it out of town, I gas it.
I like the speed. I crave it. It gives me a high much like it does the other guys. There’s nothing comparable to this shit. We live for this and one day, we’ll die for it too. That’s the way of the world.
Chapter 4
Ashley
“What do you like to eat, Jameson?” I ask as we walk through the clubhouse. It’s strange being here with him. It doesn’t seem like an appropriate place to keep a child, but I’m not his mother so there isn’t much I can say about that.
“Can you cook grilled cheese? It’s my favorite.” He grins up at me.
“I can. I think mine are the best, but you’ll have to tell me.” I lift Jameson and set him on the counter before I take out what we’ll need.
“What else do you like, Jameson?” I get to work on his lunch while getting him to warm up to me. He’s such a sweet little guy. He jabbers on about his favorite foods, his stuffed dragon named Thor, and how his favorite color is green. He’s so animated when he talks. His eyes are lit up. He seems generally happy.
“I think you were right. Yours are the best. Daddy’s taste like snot.” Jameson looks at me seriously. I can’t help but laugh at him.
“Maybe we should fire him then. No one likes to eat snot.”
Jameson giggles before jumping from his seat. He takes off running while I clean up the kitchen. I wash up what we used before heading off to find where the little man went.
Sitting on the floor with his trucks and cars, he’s lost in his own little world. I cross my arms over my chest and watch him play as I lean against the wall. A small smile crosses my face. He seems happy. He doesn’t mind much of anything. Tic said he could get wild, but he has been the perfect little boy so far. I pull up a chair and sit down while he vrooms his car around the floor.
“Do you have kids?” I glance down at the little guy. His wide brown eyes stare back up at me.
“No. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
He shakes his head before he says, “I like to play with other kids. Daddy doesn’t like the park. He said that the ladies there are all bitches and that they have something stuck up their asses.”
I choke on a laugh as I try to suppress it. Jameson seems to notice as I choke a little more. “We will talk to Daddy when he gets back, and maybe I can take you,” I tell him. I wouldn’t mind spending more time with him.
“You will? Daddy’s other friends don’t like to take me. They make my play in my room. Cher let me watch the scary movie, and Daddy got mad. He said I’m not allowed to watch those because I cry.” Jameson is so animated when he talks. His little hands move with every word that leaves his mouth. It’s adorable.
“Well, we won’t be watching scary movies because I will cry too. Plus, it’s almost time for school to start. Are you excited?”
Jameson lifts his shoulder in a little shrug. “Sometimes I get in trouble at school because people are mean to me. They tell me Daddy is a bad person and I get mad.” I can see the sadness in his little eyes and it breaks my heart.
“Come here. Let me tell you something.” I wait for him to climb up in my lap before I say, “Your daddy loves you very much. Just because he rides a motorcycle doesn’t mean he is a bad person. Sometimes kids are just mean, and when they aren’t happy, they don’t want you to be happy either. Do you understand?”
Jameson nods as he plays with the end of my hair. “So, Daddy isn’t a bad person?” He looks up at me needing that reassurance.
“No, Jameson. Your daddy is not a bad person.”
“Can I keep you, Ash?” he asks me.
I don’t know what to say. My heart literally leaps in my chest. Someone clearing their throat behind us pulls the attention from me. Jameson smiles and leaps off my lap running around the couch.
“Daddy!” he screams and runs faster. I watch over my shoulder with a smile on my face. The interaction between the two of them amazes me.
“You been good?” Tic asks Jameson. His little head bobs up and down.
“I been good. And Ash made me grilled cheese that didn’t taste like snot!” he tells his dad excitedly.
“She did, huh? Maybe we need to have her teach me.” Tic looks over at me with a smile. I grin back at him.
“No! That’s our special thing, Daddy.” Jameson wiggles to get down from his dad’s grasp before heading back to me. He climbs in my lap and twirls the end of my hair around his finger once more.
“Thanks for keepin’ him. I really appreciate it.” Tic walks over and sits next to us.
“I don’t mind. Really. He’s been so good. We had fun, didn’t we?” I ask Jameson. He giggles and nods his head.
“Ash is going to take me to the park,” he says before hopping back to the floor.
“I said if it was okay with Daddy.”
“You really wanna keep watchin’ him?” Tic looks at me as though I’ve lost my mind. He can’t believe I’d actually like to watch him, but I do.
“If you need me to. I mean it, he was perfect and I love kids.”
Tic watches me for a minute before running his hand through his hair. “Ok. I’ll give you my address. You can keep him there. Sometimes I’m out late.”
I nod. I already know that since Brooke tells me all about the club world. “It’s not a problem.”
Chapter 5
Tic
She’s walking around my house cleaning. Fucking cleaning. I hired her to babysit, not clean. I’ve told her to stop, she doesn’t listen. Ash keeps cleaning like I’m not even here. She has dinner cooked when I come home every night. Jameson has been fed and bathed. It’s a little weird for me to not have to do anything with my own son when I get home. None of the other bitches ever did a thing with him. She’s been watching him for over a month now. He loves her to death. He’s good when she’s around. I don’t get it.
“Are you gonna eat, too?” I ask her after she sets a plate on the table for me. She shrugs when I tell her, “Sit. Eat with me.” Ash sighs and fills a plate before sitting across from me.
“You know you don’t have to do all this.” I motion to the food. Ash’s cheeks turn pink and my heart flips. She’s good looking, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t fuck and run from this one. She’s too good for me. She’s out of my league, and I think that’s a good thing. I don’t want to fuck her over like I have all the others. She deserves more.
“I like doing it. If it’s a problem, I can stop.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “I just don’t want you to think you have to do it,” I tell her.
Ash reaches up and brushes a piece of hair behind her ear. “I like doing it. I don’t have any family aside from Brooke so I don’t have
much else to do. I wanted to ask you too if it would be all right if I took Jameson school clothes shopping?” she asks me softly.
She hesitates to meet my gaze, which is extremely cute on her. I can still see the way she blushes. Fuck, she gets my dick hard like that.
“Yeah. I’ll give you some money. You know you don’t have to ask permission to take him out, Ash. I trust you.”
Her head snaps up, her eyes locking with mine as her brows furrow.
“You do?” she asks almost like she doesn’t believe me.
I chuckle before I say, “Yeah. I’ve never trusted anyone with Jameson like I do you. You’re good to him.”
Her lips pull into the perfect smile as she beams at me. “That means the world to me, Tic. I don’t know what to say.” She starts to talk when we hear a heaving coming from down the hall followed by Jameson crying. We share a glance before the both of us shove out of our chairs and take off.
Getting into his room, Jameson sits on the bed crying with a puddle of vomit surrounding him.
“Oh shit,” I grumble. Ash and I share a glance before she moves in. She lifts Jameson right when my phone rings. I’m torn. Get my son or answer the phone.
“I got him. Answer it.” Ash walks past me and toward the bathroom. I pull my phone out and answer it when I hear the shower turning on.
“Hey?” I ask not looking to see who it is.
“Hey. Need you here now,” my dad snaps before the line goes dead. Shit! Just what I didn’t need right now.
“Tic!” Ash calls to me.
Why the fuck do I like it so much when she says my name? Why does my dick respond? I walk into the bathroom to see her leaning over washing Jameson. My chest tightens as I take in her ass in those damn jeans. Fuck she looks good. The more I think about it, the more I see Ash for who she is. She’s a mother figure to my son. She’s a woman who cares deeply about him. When I first met her, I thought she would be an uptight bitch, but the more I watch her around my house and with my son, the more I see the real Ashley. She’s loving, caring, and doesn’t care that she lets me see that side of her. She’s giving me pieces of herself and she doesn’t even realize she’s done it. I find myself fascinated by that fact as I watch her taking care of a child that isn’t hers. The way she makes our lonely house come together and feel like a home. Honestly, I could see myself getting used to something like this.
“Could you get out his pajamas, please?” she asks over her shoulder, startling me out of my thoughts.
My dick jerks, but it’s my heart that leaps a little. It’s so natural with her being here. I don’t know how to take any of it.
“Hey, uh. I hate to ask this but my dad called me.” Ash turns a little to look at me.
“If you need to go, it’s fine. I got this.” She smiles.
Jesus Christ it’s a heart stopping smile.
“Thanks, Ash. I’ll pay you extra.”
She shakes her head and waves me off as she goes back to Jameson. I’ve never seen anyone take care of him the way she does. Not even that lowlife bitch that is his mother.
I head out the door feeling bad that I left her to take care of all that. She shouldn’t have to clean up after my son. He’s mine. I should be there doing it. But my dad doesn’t just call me at night unless it’s something important though.
I climb on my bike and rev it up as I look at Ash’s car in the driveway. It’s like a natural occurrence these days. I leave and she’s here. I come home, she’s here. I think I’m beginning to like it a little too much.
I shake my head as I drive down the road. I can’t get used to it. She’s here to take care of Jameson, but why the fuck does it feel like she’s taking care of me, too? Why am I letting her act like a loving wife and mother missing from this family? It’s all wrong. She isn’t my wife or his mother. If she was, she would have always been here. There is no way to make what she’s doing right.
Chapter 6
Ashley
With Jameson cleaned up and back in bed, I rummage through Tic’s dresser looking for something to put on. He’s been gone for hours and I still smell like a barf bag. Pulling a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts out, I head into the bathroom to get myself cleaned up. Jameson has thrown up a few more times since he left, and I just now got a chance to take a break. It doesn’t matter to me. I love that little boy more than I should.
“Oh God, look at you,” I mumble to myself as I look in the mirror. My hair is a mess, there are vomit chunks stuck to my shirt. I slowly drag it over my head careful not to get any in my hair. I climb into the shower and start the water, enjoying the short burst of cold as it slams into my skin. As the water warms, I begin to contemplate my life. Or lack of. I have no career. Everything I thought I had was quickly taken away from me when Ellen got her way. It wasn’t like my life was glamorous to begin with, but I felt like I was making a difference in people’s lives. Now I’m just here. Standing in Tic’s shower. Don’t get me wrong, I love taking care of Jameson, I just wonder what else in life there is for me. There has to be something more awaiting me.
I climb out of the shower and dry quickly before slipping one of Tic’s Soulless Bastards t-shirts over my head and sliding on the oversized gym shorts. I don’t know how long he’s going to be gone. I step into the hallway and head to Jameson’s room. I quietly open his door and peek in to find him sound asleep. A small smile crosses my face. He’s an amazing little boy who deserves to have the world handed to him. Tic seems to be doing a good job at that.
I can hear my phone ringing in the living room so I pull Jameson’s door closed and run down the hall.
“Hey?” I answer without looking.
“If Tic was actually there, I’d ask you why you were out of breath.” I roll my eyes when Brooke opens her mouth.
“Haha. He doesn’t even look at me like that. What do you want, Satan?” I giggle as I slide onto the couch and turn the TV on.
“I wanted to let you know that Tic may be a little later than they thought. There was a fire at one of the warehouses. They are checking shit out,” she says with a yawn. I glance at the clock that hangs above the TV when I see it’s almost two in the morning. Damn, the night has gotten away from me.
“That’s ok. Jameson is asleep and I’m officially puke free,” I tell her.
“I heard he wasn’t feeling good. I’m glad you were still there. Tic isn’t good with barf. I’ve seen that train wreck.” She laughs and I find myself laughing with her.
“Do you know what the deal is with his mom?” I find myself very curious about her. I want to know what happened and why she isn’t around. I want to know why someone wouldn’t want to be with a kid as great as Jameson because I truly don’t understand it.
“Not much. No one says a whole lot. I heard she was into drugs and shit. That’s about all I know. He hasn’t told you?” she asks sounding a little annoyed.
“We aren’t together, Brooke. Why would he?” I ask as I flip through the channels and yawn.
“Stop yawning! You’re making me do it. Shit, now I’m tired.” I giggle into the phone before I say, “Then go to sleep. Why are you calling me at two in the morning?” I say playfully.
“Just to tell you about your man. I will talk to you later,” she says with a laugh. The line goes dead.
I toss my phone onto the couch before lying down and watching infomercials. You know, there is some pretty interesting shit on these shows at night.
My mind wanders back to Brooke’s words. My man? I laugh at that one. Tic is far from my type, and I sure as hell am not his. The idea rolls around in my head though. Hey, they do say opposites attract and Tic does have that sexy biker thing going on.
“Get your head out of your ass, Ash,” I mumble to myself before snuggling into the pillow on the couch.
Chapter 7
Tic
The fire at the warehouse looked accidental, which was fine with me. I didn’t want to sit there for another second and deal with that shit. I’m tired as he
ll. My body is drained. It’s been well over twenty-four hours since I’ve slept, and God knows I need it. My nerves are on edge, and I can’t think straight when I get like this.
I park my bike and head up the front stairs. Opening the door gently, careful not to wake Ash or Jameson, I step in and relock it. Walking toward the hallway, I notice little snores coming from the couch. When I stop and look over the back, Ash lies there sleeping peacefully. Her long blonde hair spread across the pillow with just a few strands sticking to her cheek. I lean over the back and brush them away when she stirs. Her eyes open slowly, blinking up at me. A small smile crosses her face and something inside of me settles. I’ve never felt that with anyone but Dana, Jameson’s mom. No one has had that effect on me. Ashley watches me as I watch her. I don’t know what the hell she’s thinking, but when I don’t say anything, she sits up slowly.
“Hey,” she says, combing her fingers through her long blonde hair. Fuck, I want to run mine through there as she slowly looks away from me.
“Hey. I didn’t mean to wake you. You know you could have taken the bed,” I tell her.
She swivels her head to look at me as I walk around the couch and sit next to her. I reach up and wipe the tiny line of drool that has leaked down her chin. Ash’s cheeks blush. It’s fucking hot as hell on her too.
“The couch is fine. Jameson has been asleep. No more vomit episodes,” she says shyly.
Her eyes dance with the unknown, and my dick likes it. I know I shouldn’t touch her. I know I should walk away, but there is something telling me to go to her. To take her. To make her mine.
“That’s good. I can’t thank you enough for stayin’ with him.”
“No. I don’t mind really. I should probably go,” she says nervously. My stomach knots as I watch her stand to leave.