by Tanya Chris
“Well, I kept doing it too, but—I don’t know if this makes it better or worse—I was enjoying it. Not the drama but the parts in between the drama. I enjoyed being with you. I wanted to.”
“Thanks. I enjoyed some of it too, but it was the wrong choice for me. My fault for making it over and over. I never saw stopping as an option. I thought the only option was to change you.”
Lissie came up nervously.
“I’m not haranguing him,” Deb said with a laugh. “Promise.”
“Are you coming to the cast party?” I asked her.
“No, I’m not ready for that yet. You guys have fun.”
“I’m going,” Lissie told me. “I’ll run Deb home then pick up Alex and see you there.”
Alex, huh. I raised my eyebrows. Looked like Lissie was trying to make sure she stayed out of her box. I was proud of her, and of Deb.
Though when I saw Alex at Carol’s, holding a glass of wine and looking like he’d landed on an alien planet, I understood better why Lissie didn’t usually bring him. It couldn’t be very fun worrying about someone else having fun.
My date had brought her own bottle of tequila. She and Joshua and I crammed in together on a loveseat meant for two.
“You make a better pin cushion than a pillow,” she complained, trying to shift so that my erection wasn’t spearing up between her butt cheeks.
“Hey, now,” I protested. “I know I’m not hung, but it’s bigger than a pin.”
“It’s big enough to be a pain in my ass.” She ground down hard enough that it was somewhere between pleasurable and painful for me too.
“If you don’t like my cock hard, you’d better go sit on Joshua for a bit.” I shifted her over to his lap and discreetly adjusted my eager erection. Between Joshua’s arm around my neck and Sherry’s butt rubbing up against me, there was entirely too much contact.
“Whoa there, blue eyes, nobody said they didn’t like your cock hard.” Despite the protest, she slid easily into Joshua’s arms.
“You guys are weird.” Repeat, an arm hooked around Mikaela’s neck and a jester hat jingling on his head, offered us his opinion as he passed by, but we declined to take it.
“Maybe we should take these home,” Joshua suggested, which I took to mean that he now had an erection to match mine. Having Sherry sitting on your lap did that to you. Her ass was soft and kind of squirmy.
Closing night, I thought, as we made our goodbyes. It didn’t feel like only three months since we’d started rehearsals, since I’d sat next to a wild card of an Iago, since I’d ended things with Deb, since I’d gone on my first date with a man only to end up on my first date with Sherry. It seemed a lifetime already that I’d been loving the two people I walked out of Carol’s front door with.
“You take Sherry’s car,” Joshua said. “I’ll take Sherry.”
Joshua and I had driven to Carol’s together so we could get Sherry’s car home. Home. I followed Joshua home.
~~~
“Now tell me,” Sherry said, naked with one cock in each hand. “Who gives the best blowjobs?” She sucked a minute on my cock, then a minute on Joshua’s. “Me or Joshua?” She repeated her demonstration, which didn’t answer the question at all.
She was maybe a little high tonight, I thought as I enjoyed my turn under her mouth, then enjoyed the sight of her mouth on Joshua’s cock. Her gig hadn’t gone well—a small crowd that hadn’t even pretended to pay attention. I could tell she was somewhat faking her usual enthusiasm.
“Who?” she demanded again.
The answer was Lissie, actually, but I wasn’t stupid. “Whichever one of you is doing it right now.”
“That’s me,” she said triumphantly, somewhat missing the point, but since she put her mouth right back on my cock after she said it, I didn’t see a need to press the issue.
Instead I winked at Joshua who rolled over and kissed me, taking us deep into each other. Being kissed and blown at the same time was amazing. When he moved his mouth to my neck, I couldn’t stop the orgasm that had been welling up inside me since before we left the party.
It was funny how I’d never thought much about having two women at the same time—figuring I wouldn’t know what to do with them both—because it turned out that two people lavishing attention on me, regardless of gender, was incredible—sensation beyond sensation. Selfish, yes.
I kissed Sherry and turned her over to Joshua and laid back and watched my favorite thing in the world to watch: Joshua fucking the shit out of her.
I wasn’t much needed in this exercise. They’d been doing it for years and had it down to a rhythmically orchestrated science. My role was simply to observe, to give them that heightened thrill of being watched, but I couldn’t help but cop a feel here and there, to swipe a hand or a mouth over whatever body part got closest to me. These two beautiful people, so naked, so close, so much a part of me even when they were so involved with each other.
When Joshua had fucked Sherry into a state of satisfaction, he pulled out and offered his cock to me. I took it eagerly, rotating on the bed so that he could help out with what had re-arisen while I played voyeur.
We sixty-nined at the unhurried pace we often enjoyed together, as though we could spend all day like this, cocks down each other’s throats, tongues and hands stroking along hard shafts, as though to climax would be to spoil the fun.
Eventually it got too much for Joshua who didn’t have the advantage of having already come once. After he finished, he swung around to get a better angle on me. I tossed him the lube and there went those fingers and somehow my second orgasm was better than my first and the first had been plenty good.
Joshua rolled me into the center of the bed against an already-sleeping Sherry and cemented himself against my back. And with no idea that tomorrow would change everything, I slept.
Chapter 31
“Did Joshua tell you the big news?” Sherry asked at second breakfast, the one he made for her when she finally dragged her butt out of bed.
I looked up at Joshua who hadn’t given me any big news lately.
“He put in his notice at work,” Sherry went on, not waiting for him to do it. “Official last day is July 17th. Now that the show’s over, we want to get down to the City next weekend to start looking for places, maybe stay over Saturday night and see a show or something.”
“Sounds like fun,” I said, a sort of instinctive politeness guiding my words since my brain could only process fear.
“You can make it next weekend?” Joshua sat down next to me with a frown on his face. “Because we could reschedule.”
“Oh.” They wanted me to go along on this outing that, for me, spelled the beginning of the end. “I’m not sure I can go with you, but don’t wait on me. July 17th will come fast. Gotta get everything in order.”
“Nate.” Joshua picked up my hand and squeezed it. “I’ve been letting Sherry handle this but I’m beginning to think we need to spell some things out more clearly.”
“No, you don’t.” Panic welled up in my chest. I pulled my hand away from his and stood up. “I get it. It’s cool. Listen, I’ve got stuff I need to do today.” I backed away from the table.
“Nate, wait.” Joshua stood up too. “Sit down and let’s talk.”
“What’s he freaking out about?” Sherry asked her husband.
“I’m not freaking out. I just need to go. I can’t talk about this right now. I’m sorry. I mean, it’s great. Congratulations. Really.”
“Joshua,” Sherry said.
“I can’t physically restrain him,” I heard him say as I let the door bang shut behind me.
Concerned that Sherry might change his mind on that subject, I moved resolutely to my car and backed out of the driveway, but I had no idea where I was headed. I pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store at the end of their street and leaned back against the headrest.
Basically, I was being a big baby. That much, I knew. Joshua should have his stab at being a profession
al actor. Sherry should expand her audience. They were young and childless and now was the time for them to go. I couldn’t ask them to put their lives on hold to see how our weird three-way romance would play out. And where could it play out to, anyway? What were the actual options?
Eventually this was what would happen—their lives would call them somewhere or my life, perhaps, would call me somewhere and then we’d split, like we were splitting now.
Why postpone it? Best to accept the heartbreak now and say thank you for the example and then go find a Sherry—or a Joshua—of my own and try to re-create what we had. Except this time I’d be in the central relationship, locked-in, committed.
I’d never thought those words could sound so good.
There was no place I had to be. There was only one place I wanted to be, and that was the place I’d just left. So I drove to the place I could go that was almost like being there, to King’s Forest.
I hadn’t been at the river long before I heard feet crunching through the underbrush behind me.
“How’d you know I’d be here?” I didn’t turn my face from the water running at my feet. I knew who it was.
“I didn’t. I was hoping. Everything’s going to be OK, Nate.”
“For you.”
If I were a better friend, a better person, I’d be happy for them, but just then it was beyond me to even act happy.
“I’m sorry we gave you the wrong impression. Sherry and I both made the mistake of assuming that the other one had talked through this with you. Communication can be difficult in a triad.” He sat down next to me and dangled his legs over the concrete abutment next to mine. “We aren’t leaving you. We were expecting you to come too. I thought Sherry had already talked you into it.”
I suppressed the sudden flash of joy in case I’d misunderstood. “You want me to move to New York with you? Why?”
“Your job will translate really well to the City. Sherry can find work, but let’s face it, she doesn’t earn much. We’re used to living off my salary. I could get an IT job there, but I don’t want to. I need to have the flexibility to audition and take parts when I get them, otherwise there’s no point in going. So I’m probably going to be waiting tables. If the three of us get a studio apartment—I know it’ll be a tight squeeze, but between the three of us I think we can afford it. Without you, I’m not so sure. Not to mention the emotional support. The City’s a tough place. None of us know anyone. It’ll be good to have a friend there, someone else who’s auditioning, who can relate to the struggle.”
Joshua had poured all that out in a single, rushed breath. He stopped and ran his hand over his head.
“No, fuck it. Forget all that. Those are reasons, but they’re not why.” He took a deep breath and then turned to look at me dead on. “I love you. Sherry loves you. We don’t want to lose you. That’s why.”
“I thought you didn’t feel that way about men.”
“Now that I think about it, I don’t feel that way about women either, only about Sherry. I don’t love men. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” It was a relief to say it. “Both of you, but maybe you a little more. Don’t tell Sherry.”
He laughed and pulled me into his chest. “Our secret.” We kissed, passion rising up slowly between us. “You’ll come with us then?” he asked, separating our bodies slightly so we could see each other’s faces.
“I want to.” There was just one little doubt nagging at me with respect to this whole triad business.
“Uh oh,” Joshua said. “That didn’t sound like yes.”
“How would it work? I mean, there’s you and there’s Sherry, but I’d still get to ... ”
“Fuck around?”
“Yeah. I don’t mean to sound like the two of you aren’t enough for me, but I’m still who I am. I can’t go with you if there’s any kind of expectation. I couldn’t lie to you like that.”
“Dude, we’re not keeping Sherry on lock down, not even if there were four of us. I think we can all agree it’s an open relationship. We’ll have to have some rules about appropriate use of what will be a very small shared space, but outside the apartment, anything goes.”
“Anything goes,” I repeated.
“So now we’re at yes?”
“Now we’re at yes.” I smiled at him, excitement mixed with terror swelling into my chest. I was going to New York City. I was going to be an actor. I was going to come home at night to my two favorite people in the world. And occasionally I wasn’t going to come home to them.
Joshua yanked me to my feet, then dove into me. I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck, my mouth smiling beneath the onslaught of his kiss. Our cocks hardened against each other.
“OK, we have to stop this,” he said into my mouth.
“Why’s that?”
“Because if we’re going to have celebratory joining sex, all three of us should be present for it. And we probably shouldn’t top it off by getting arrested for indecent exposure. Come on, Sherry’s in the car waiting.”
He pulled me by the hand down the trail until we reached the parking lot where Sherry paced. Her face lit up when she saw us hand in hand. She threw herself into my arms. I wrapped myself around her—Joshua’s hand still in mine—and enjoyed the squash of her breasts against my chest and her signature scent in my nose.
Joshua completed the circle, his arms enclosing both of us. That was who he was—the hard shell protecting me and Sherry. I leaned my head against his and Sherry leaned her head against my chest and the three of us squeezed together even closer.
“Someone promised me celebratory joining sex,” I said when the closeness produced the inevitable erections, impossible to ignore the way we were all mushed together.
“Is that some kind of triad commitment ceremony?” Sherry joked.
“We’ll have to make do with it,” I answered.
“For now, anyway,” she said. “You know what the right-wing conservatives say—once you legalize gay marriage, polygamy is next. I’m counting on them to be right.”
“When it’s legal, will you marry us?” Joshua’s face was sincere. His arm squeezed harder around my waist.
I took a minute to envision a future I’d never imagined could be mine. “You know, I think I will.”
Epilogue
As Joshua once said, life isn’t all power ballads and dragonfly tattoos. We have our difficult moments. Moving to New York, moving in together, and learning how to work as a triad would each be tricky enough done one at a time. Doing all three together was asking for it.
But Sherry and I are pretty easy going. As long as someone’s feeding us and fucking us, the rest is details. And Joshua has this knack. Some people—like Deb in her drinking days—have a way of taking a small thing and making it big, but Joshua has a knack for the opposite. Anytime we seem headed for a drop-off, he talks us back from the ledge. Then I crack a joke or Sherry pulls the hem of her dress up over her head and we remember that the three of us are crazy about each other.
I’m digging my way into the New York acting scene clod by clod. I’ve had a couple of minor speaking roles in way, way off-Broadway productions and some even more minor stuff a little closer to Broadway. I should have my union card soon and that’ll open up more doors. There’s a little theater located in the most inconvenient corner of Queens that seems to like having me around. It’s not a place where I’ll ever get famous, but it’s nice having a home base.
My uncle hooked me up with a contractor here, and that’s how I make most of my money. Honestly, it pays better, at least for now. A lot of days I’m on top of Manhattan, sanding dry wall in a penthouse looking out the window and thinking: someday this will be mine. Not that I really care about the trappings of fame. I just want people to know who I am.
Sherry’s been working her tattoo passion more than her music passion. Tattoos are a real celebrity culture here and her name is starting to get out there. She has a regular bench in a decent place and people walk in off
the street and ask for her. In the meantime, she keeps meeting people and making connections—because she’s Sherry and she’s irresistible—so I know she’ll get there with the music too.
Funny thing is that it’s Joshua who’s had the most success. He was the only one of us to put a deadline on his career, like if he wasn’t making progress after two years of trying, he was going back to Corporate IT. Sherry once said that he felt compelled to provide for her. Now he feels compelled to provide for both of us. It makes him uncomfortable having no predictable source of income, but the money comes in when we need it.
His agent took one look at him, then closed her eyes, took a listen, and said, “You belong in voiceovers.” Turns out Joshua’s voice comes across as dependable and comforting—deep and resonant Broadcaster’s English with this touch of down-home that focus groups love. They probably wouldn’t love him so much if they could see him, because this country has got a ways to go on that score, but that’s what makes voiceover work perfect. I don’t know if it’s as artistically fulfilling as he’d like, but in this industry, work is work. Anyway, I have to agree with the focus groups. Dependable and comforting—that’s Joshua all over.
We managed to find a one bedroom place we could afford, so we’re not all on top of each other in a studio, thank God. There’s a futon in the living room and we each sleep out there one night a week, so I have one night alone with Joshua, one night alone with Sherry, and one night to stretch out on the futon by myself, taking up every corner. I wasn’t crazy about having a schedule at first, but it’s become the framework I operate from, and in between there’s plenty of time for the three of us and for my own private adventures.
It’s funny to remember how worried I was about anal sex. Joshua and I have long since explored pretty much every avenue open to us. There are some things we do more than others, but nothing’s off the table. The first time we fucked, it was the night before our joint commitment ceremony, in my old bedroom.
We came back home for the ceremony because most of my family wanted to be there (even Uncle Felix, but not Gwen), plus my climbing friends and the people from Central Playhouse. None of Sherry’s family came but some of Joshua’s did. His older sister and one of his aunts. Joshua says that’s because they have a crush on me, but hey, whatever brings people closer together, right? His sister is cute.