by C. Larsen
"You're okay, it’s okay lyubimaya." He presses the cotton harder onto my cut arms and I wince in pain. "You're fine, just a scratch." He peels the cotton tee away from me to look at the damage. The flaps of skin fall apart, revealing a flash of white.
Oh God, he sliced to the bone...
Gray curses quietly, wrapping it back up. My stomach heaves, bile threatening to come up. I swallow convulsively and pull my arms tighter into my chest.
"It's okay, I've seen worse. We just have to apply more pressure to stop the bleeding. Don't worry, luna. It will heal up in no time."
He wraps my arms in a vice-like grip. I try not to whimper in pain. A burning tingle works its way up my arm and I know this is a good sign. It means it's starting to heal.
"Is it going to scar?" I ask to distract myself.
"Nah, it’ll be good as new in no time. Werewolves don't scar easily."
"Your back did," I remind him.
His face darkens. "That was different."
"How?"
His gaze flits up over my shoulder, as if making sure Olivia and Josh are out of hearing range. "Werewolves only scar for two reasons: if they’re not dominant enough to heal a wound fast enough-" which obviously doesn't apply to Gray- "Or if the wound is reopened repeatedly before it can fully heal."
"You mean..." The thought is almost too horrible to voice. "You mean Ivan repeatedly tore your back open like that so it wouldn't heal properly?"
His silvery gaze stays steady on mine. "He wanted to make an example of me. It was done over a few days. I suppose I'm lucky there wasn't any visible scarring, considering."
Lucky? Jesus. And I thought my family was fucked up...
Gray checks on my wounds every few minutes. After the third time, I see a distinct improvement. The bone is no longer visible and the bleeding has slowed considerably.
At Josh's car, they seem to have Sebastian back under control, so we head back over to them. Olivia’s in the process of pressing a bundle of bloody towels against Sebastian's side, and I hope I didn't slice him too deeply.
I'm about to step forward to offer to heal him further, but Gray's hand on my shoulder makes me pause.
"You're already exhausted, Em, and your arms haven't completely healed. Do you have enough energy to do this? You don't want to pass out again."
I hesitate. Gray might have a point. As it is, my legs are shaking with the effort to keep me upright, the world shifting and swaying around me. If I heal Sebastian now, I'll most likely black out.
"How is he, Liv?" I ask.
"The bleeding has stopped. Luckily, most of the wounds are pretty shallow, so they should heal up within the night."
"Thank God." Since he's not in any danger, I decide to let him heal on his own rather than risk another blackout, or worse: another attack by his wolf.
"What did you do to him?" Josh asks, looming over me. "He wasn't bleeding when we brought him here. What did you do?" His eyebrows draw down over his black eyes, and I feel my wolf stir in response.
I glare up at him, a little surprised when he doesn't immediately look down. "I just saved his life. What the hell did you do, letting him get hurt in the first place?"
He bares his teeth on a growl. "We were ambushed."
"Ambushed by who?"
"A group of fucking witches." He spits on the ground to show his contempt for them. "Olivia and I were able to chase them off, but not before Sebastian was hit by some sort of spell."
"Did you recognize any of them? Did you know any of the witches?"
He shakes his head. "No, but your fucking boyfriend's scent is all over our territory, and his coven has made it clear they have it out for us."
"I told you, Caiden wouldn't do this."
"And he's also not her boyfriend." Gray drapes a casual arm across my shoulders, a lazy grin pasted to his face.
Josh eyes Gray's arm and looks at me, disgust scrawled across his face. "You're moving right through them, aren't ya'? Keep adding those notches in the bedpost. Oh, that's right, you're still virgin, aren't you? Sorry, I forgot—you don't bed them, you just lead them on."
Gray snarls and springs forward, pinning Josh to car again.
"Stop it, both of you! We don't have time for this!"
Not surprisingly, neither listens.
Josh shoves Gray away from him, but before they start swinging, both me and Olivia jump in between them.
"Seriously, we have more important things to worry about then who I'm dating. Like what the hell those witches did to Sebastian..." Anxiety is clear in my voice and all three turn to look at me.
"What did they do?" Olivia asks.
"I think... I think they somehow took control of his wolf..."
Their reaction is immediate.
"Took control?"
"You mean they bound him?" Olivia asks.
"How could they do that?" Josh asks at the same time.
They all start shooting questions at me at once, the scent of fear heavy in the air.
"Look, I'm not exactly sure how they did it, but they created some sort of net to bind his wolf. They took control of it and would have killed him if I hadn't been able to free him."
Shocked gazes meet mine.
"You freed him? You figured out how to do it?" Gray's eyes light up, pride and excitement shining in them.
"What do you mean you freed him? How is that possible?" Olivia asks, suspicion scrawled all over her face.
Josh stares at me, eyes cold. "That's not possible. Supposedly, only the Chain Breaker can free a wolf from a binding."
I blink in surprise at his use of the term 'Chain Breaker'. Apparently Silver Ridge isn't the only pack to know of the legend.
"Besides, how would you even know what a binding looks like, let alone know how to break it?" His gaze sharpens, eyes turning gold. "Unless you've seen one before... Is that it? Was someone in your coven a Soul Binder? Did you learn what it looked like from them?" Growls rumble in his chest as he works himself into a rage. "Are they the ones who attacked us? Are they? Tell me!" He lunges for me, but Gray intercepts him and throws him back.
"If you touch her, I'll kill you," Gray says, his voice low, dangerous. "Let's go, Em. You used a lot of energy tonight for this ungrateful asshole. You need to rest."
I sigh in relief, thankful for the reprieve. That is, until we get in the Hummer and start driving. Then the full force of Gray's emotions registers. Anger. Suspicion. Hurt.
Shit. Josh and his damn questions. Gray's not stupid. He knows Josh is right about one thing: I'd have to have seen a binding before to be able to recognize it. How am I supposed to tell him I've not only seen it, but used it on him during training?
Chapter 36
Gray remains silent the entire way back to my house. I'm worried about what's going through his mind, what explanations he's coming up with for Josh’s questions. The longer he stews, the angrier he seems to get.
When he pulls up to my house, I know my reprieve is up. He's going to want answers. Hell, he’s probably already figured them out for himself, I think as I lead him up to my house.
I can tell by the silence in the house that no one is here, but I check the garage first, just to make sure. Empty. The last time we spoke, my dad mentioned an upcoming business trip, but I can't remember how long he said he'd be out of town. Hopefully this is a long one. As anxious as I am to make up with him, I'm glad he won't get caught in the crosshairs if it does come to war here.
And at least there won't be any witnesses to the blowout about to occur, I think as I study Gray, who's watching me with blazing gold eyes.
I head to my room, Gray stalking close behind. The longer he retains his stony silence, the more nervous I get. What is he waiting for? Why won't he just tell yell at me and get it over with?
Once in my room, I turn to face him. Still, he says nothing.
"Well?"
“Well what?"
"I assume you have some questions?" I say.
His jaw flexes, as if he's trying to ke
ep something back. Finally he spits out, "Is it someone in Madelyn’s coven?"
"What? No, of course not."
"Then the Soul Binder is in your old coven? Night’s Hollow? Are they the ones who attacked the Haven Pack?"
"No, Gray. There are no Soul Binders in either coven. At least, not that I know of."
His brow furrows. "Then how? How could you have recognized it?"
I slump down onto my bed. So, this is it. The moment of truth.
"Gray, it's me." He looks even more confused at this, so I clarify, “I'm the Soul Binder. That's how I knew what the spell looked like. Because I've...used it before..."
"You what?!" He leaps back a step, as if afraid I'll bind him if he gets too close.
Jumping to my feet, I hurry to explain. "It first happened when the rogues attacked. One of the wolves came after me and I.... I made him stop. I just froze him in his tracks. It only lasted a few seconds, but those seconds allowed me to avoid the worst of his attack."
His eyes soften, some of the anger fading from his scent, only to be replaced with hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid. The whole reason the war between our races began was to eliminate Soul Binders. If you knew that I had that ability, you'd hate me."
"I could never hate you." He pulls me into his chest and gently strokes my hair. "I just wish you would have told me. I hate to think about you wrestling with all this on your own."
"It was confusing for sure. But I wasn't exactly on my own. I did talk to Margie about it."
He pulls away from me and scrutinizes my face. "The night you took off on your own?"
"Yeah..." Despite the fear squeezing my chest, I tell him everything. I explain about the Changeling prophecy, how it's the same as the Chain Breaker one, but that they didn't have the whole thing. I tell him what Margie told me, about how I have both the power to free the werewolves, and the power to enslave them all.
I can't tell what he's thinking, but I know I have to come completely clean. When I get to the part I'm dreading, about Arianna and her suggestion to practice with it, his face closes off and he takes a step back.
"How did you plan to practice?"
At my guilty expression he freezes, horrified, "You used it on me? During training?"
His eyes beg me to deny it. I look down at my feet, biting my lip.
He takes a step back, away from me. I'm afraid to look up, to see the hate and revulsion on his face, but I force myself to meet his eyes. The look in them is worse than I imagined. Hurt and anger and betrayal radiate from his gaze.
I rush to explain, to make him understand.
"I wasn't trying to hurt you! It was the only way I could think to get the packs and covens to agree to a truce! If the covens knew they had nothing to fear, and the packs knew I was working to free them, then there would be no reason for a war! And once the werewolves are free, once they that no longer have to worry about Soul Binders, then the fighting could stop! And I wasn't hurting you! You know I would never do that! It was just little things. I would never hurt you."
"That's not the point! After everything I've done for you, everything we’ve been through, you trusted me so little that you hid it from me. That you secretly used it against me! Did it ever occur to you that I would have let you practice on me if you had just ASKED? But no. You have so little trust in me that you—" he breaks off, mid-sentence, too angry to say anything else. "I have to get out of here." He snatches up his keys and bolts for the door.
“Gray, wait!"
Feet pound down the stairs, then the front door opens and slams. Moments later the Hummer roars to life. Through the window, I watch his tail lights disappear into the night.
I stare out the window long after he's gone, tears slowly taking tracking down my cheeks, ears straining, hoping to hear his truck return. After an age, I slump down onto the window seat, finally admitting defeat.
He's gone...I drove him away.
Betrayed him.
He's right. I should have trusted him. I assumed he'd run from me if he knew what I could do, but he didn't. Instead, he tried to comfort me. And then I ruined it. Ruined everything...
My chest aches, the hollow feeling pressing in on me, making it difficult to breathe.
It's all my fault. I've been so afraid of Caiden and the rest of the coven finding out about my werewolf blood that I put off coming home, even when I knew things were getting desperate. Because of my fear, my selfishness, Sebastian almost died. I was almost too late to save him...
And now I've driven away Gray because of the same selfishness.
He says I don't trust him. Maybe he’s right. But I was afraid. Everyone I ever let close betrayed me. Caiden, Sebastian, Caroline, even my own father. I couldn’t risk Gray doing the same.
I've been so focused on keeping him at a distance, determined to not let him get too close, afraid he’d hurt me like everyone else, that I never stopped to think if I was hurting him, if I was the one betraying him.
And I did.
I betrayed the one person who has been there for me, who has never turned his back on me. Until now. And the kicker is, he didn't even leave because he was horrified of what I am. No. He left because I didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth. Because I lied to him. Used him.
I was wrong. I fucked up. And I lost the one person who means the most to me.
My breath hitches, tears spilling from my eyes.
Gray’s probably halfway back to Ashwood right now, and I can't blame him. I've betrayed him in the worst way.
How would I feel if he had some ability to control or manipulate me, something like Caiden's lust spells, and purposely used it on me, took control over my mind, my body?
I would be livid. Heartbroken. Betrayal like that...it's not something you get over easily.
My calls to his cell go unanswered, as do my texts. If I can just get him to come back, to let me explain, let me apologize. I need to fix this. I need to make it right.
I sit at the window all night, waiting, hoping he'll come back. It reminds me of the night years ago when my mother left in the middle of night. I waited in this exact same spot, staring out into the blackness, praying she'd return.
She never did. She left me, abandoned me. Betrayed me. Or so I thought.
For all these years, I've been afraid everyone else would betray me the way she did. And they have. My dad with his never-ending business trips, his lies. His affair. Caroline and the coven who turned on me. Who tried to kill me. Caiden and his horrible, heartbreaking accusations.
And now, finally, Gray.
But my mom didn't commit suicide. She didn't abandon me on purpose. And Gray...he didn't choose to leave me. I pushed him away. It's my fault. I betrayed him.
I have only myself to blame.
Chapter 37
I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I wake in the dark. A prickle on the back of my neck warns me I'm not alone.
I leap up, instincts taking over as I prepare to defend myself. By the time I'm fully facing the looming shadow, hands upraised and ready to attack, my nose catches up to speed. Letting out a relieved breath, I lower my arms and stare up into Gray’s familiar silver eyes.
"You came back," I say, shocked.
"I went for a run. Needed to clear my head. I was nearby."
My chest relaxes enough for me to finally take a full breath. I scrub my hands over my face, hoping to wipe away any trace of tears from the long night. The way he studies me, I don't think I succeed.
"Gray, I'm so sorry. You were right, I should have told you. I should have trusted you. And I never should have used that binding ability on you. It was wrong. It was selfish. And I was so afraid if I told you what I could do, you'd be horrified."
Though his hard expression softens somewhat, a new burst of anger fills his scent.
"Emerson, I told you I loved you. What did you think that meant? That I only love part of you? That I'll leave the moment I find out anything remotely sc
ary or different about you?" He shakes his head in frustration.
"Everyone I've ever known has lied to me. Manipulated me. Used me or betrayed me. My parents. Caroline. Madelyn. Even Caiden. Why would you be any different?"
His eyes narrow, blazing gold for a moment, nostrils flaring in anger. "I am not Caiden. When I tell you something, I mean it. I have never lied to you. I love you, Em. Every part of you: witch, werewolf, Chain Breaker, even Soul Binder. Nothing you can do will scare me away."
Tears sting the back of my eyes. I look away, biting my lip, not daring to believe. How can he not hate me after what I did?
He reaches out, fingers gently lifting my chin until my eyes meet his again.
"But you need to start trusting me. I told you I'd never lie to you. I need you to be honest with me, too."
"I know," I say with a nod. A few traitorous tears brim over to roll slowly down my cheeks. I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to distract myself. "I will. From now on. I promise."
"Alright. Then come here, luna."
He opens his arms. I don't hesitate to go to him, hiding my wet face in his chest. The steady beat of his heart and his familiar scent helps to soothe the tension still radiating throughout my body. His hands begin massaging the tense muscles in my shoulders and upper back as he leans down, nose skimming my neck, inhaling deep.
Inch by inch, my muscles relax, his fingers soothing, coaxing. Without a word, he nudges me toward the bed. Settling my head on his chest, we lay in the dark, just holding each other, my chest too full of emotions to say anything more.
Just as I begin to doze, Gray nudges me awake. "Don't fall asleep, Em. We have to get ready for school."
"School?"
He smiles at the horror in my voice. "That's right."
"You've got to be kidding me. The world is on the brink of a supernatural war and you're worried about school?"
"Education is very important." He grins and climbs out of bed to rifle through our bags for some clean clothes. "Besides, it’s our best chance to talk to the coven and the pack on neutral ground."
"You want me to chat about peace agreements in the middle of U.S. History?"