Shattered Circle: The Witches Circle Book 3

by C. Larsen

  Caiden says he loves me, but he doesn't trust me. Not like Gray does.

  A sense of rightness settles over me as I think about Gray, the way he's always been there for me, always looking out for me, even before I was aware that he was; how he's never pressured me into any decisions, always letting me make my own choices, no matter how much he disagreed with them; the way he's always accepted me for who and what I am, never turning his back on me, even after finding out my deepest, darkest secrets.

  If I had decided to stay in Haven Hallow instead of going to Ashwood all those months ago, I know Gray wouldn’t have been happy about it, but he would have accepted it. He wouldn't have tried to force me the way Caiden would have.

  Caiden had so little trust or respect for my decisions that he chose to use any weapon he could to get me to leave, regardless of how much it hurt me. And the worst part is, I know Caiden wasn't entirely lying when he said he blames me for what happened to Lydia.

  I think back to my conversation with Gray the night of the bonfire, when he told me about Derek and Mikhail. The guilt he carries. Everyone is burdened with shame and guilt for the things they've done in their lives, but how they handle it says a lot about a person. It's impossible not to compare Gray to Caiden in this situation. Some people can learn from their guilt and move past it. Others let it eat away at them until there's nothing left.

  My pulse slows, the pressure in my chest lightening. I may have had feelings for Caiden before I left—maybe I still do, to some extent—but whatever I feel or don't feel for him, it's nothing compared to what I feel for Gray. Caiden's guilt hangs on him like a shroud, darkening everything it touches. It's always been that way. Until Gray, I never realized how much Caiden's guilt affects not only him, but me as well when I'm with him. I refuse to be burdened by his guilt and shame anymore.

  "Caiden... it's too late."

  His face falls, brows puckering.

  "You may have said those things to get me to leave, but deep down, you meant them. If you blame yourself for Lydia, and I know you do, then you also blame me. Even if you don't want to admit it. And maybe you're right. Maybe we're both partially to blame for what happened that night. But what's done is done. We can't change what happened to Lydia. We just need to learn from it and move on. You can't let it destroy you. You have to forgive yourself."

  He looks away, eyes bright. "I don't know if I can. There are so many things I should have done differently..." His gaze turns back to me, his expression open and vulnerable. "But I shouldn't have pushed you away because of it. I don't want to lose you."

  "But you still blame me. And until you can forgive yourself, you'll never be able to forgive me."

  Chapter 39

  The day slowly crawls by. Classes are even more mind-numbing than I remember, especially after taking so much time off. Luckily, I'm not completely behind since Vasily made Gray and I take classes online, but even so, I can't say I've really been putting much effort into the online courses—I've kind of had other things on my mind. So even with all the coursework I've been doing in Ashwood, I still have a lot to catch up on. If I thought I had any shot at getting into a good college before, that chance is long-gone now, but at least I won't have to repeat the entire semester.

  My nervousness increases as lunch approaches. I know I should have said something to Caiden this morning about me and Gray, but there was just so much else that needed to be said. It didn't feel right to just blurt it out in the middle of his confession, but now I'm regretting that decision. I should have given him a heads-up, but it's too late now. He's about to see firsthand that Gray and I are together. And though I know I don't owe Caiden anything since we were never officially together, I still feel shitty about it. Getting blind-sided like this really sucks.

  I spot Gray in the back of the cafeteria, sitting at what used to be my old table, though it's shrunk considerably with Olivia, Sebastian, and Josh gone. Casually glancing around the room, I notice Arianna, Ethan and Landon sitting at their usual table, but there's no sign of Caiden. He must have skipped out early. Probably out spying on the Haven Pack.

  The thought sends a tendril of fear running through me, but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't control him; I can only hope he doesn't get caught.

  Gray smiles at me as I cross the cafeteria and immediately I breathe easier. Chris and Kayla don't even acknowledge me as I sit down, but Mei at least looks happy to see me.

  "Thank God you’re back, Em. One more day of having to sit here with these two and I would be on the verge of dropping out like the rest of you." She rolls her eyes toward Chris and Kayla, who are currently making out, ignoring everyone around them.

  Chris and Kayla? Huh. When did that happen? I don’t have much time to wonder about it, though, as the rest of what she said sinks in.

  “Drop out? Is that what Olivia and the others did?"

  She shrugs one shoulder. "That's what everyone's saying. I've tried calling Josh, but he's not answering. Olivia said there's some sort of family emergency and they'll be out of town for a while, but I saw her car the other day, so I know she's lying."

  It sounds like the pack isn’t even trying to come up with a believable excuse.

  "Have you talked to her?" Mei asks, eyes narrowing.

  "Uh, briefly," I say. "She didn't mention anything about dropping out of school though." I'll have to ask her when we meet with James tonight so I know what story they're telling.

  "Are you two, like, together or something?" Kayla asks, breaking away from Chris long enough to notice Gray's arm around my shoulders.

  The jealousy in her eyes reminds me that Kayla attempted to get with Gray when he first came to town, but he blew her off. I smile at her, showing my teeth.

  The corner of Gray’s mouth quirks up. "Sorry to disappoint all the ladies here, but she got to me first."

  I snort at his arrogance and elbow him in his side. "Lucky me," I say, rolling my eyes.

  "Oh, I'm sure she'll run through you just as fast as she has the last two," Kayla says. Chris bursts out laughing, then seems to realize he doesn't have Josh and Sebastian around for backup anymore and breaks off with a cough. His eyes dart to Gray, a little worried.

  A flash of annoyance goes through me, but quickly fades when Gray chuckles and pulls me closer. I take a breath and try to settle my nerves. At least Caiden's not here, but I can feel the rest of the eyes in the cafeteria on me and I don't have to guess what they all think about me and Gray suddenly becoming a couple. Even if I couldn't pluck their thoughts easily from their minds, my werewolf hearing is more than capable of picking up the shocked whispers circulating the room.

  Gray chuckles again and I know he's listening to the outrageous gossip as well. "Not if I have anything to say about it, she won't." He leans down to nuzzle my neck, planting a kiss right behind my ear. "Some guys just don't know how to treat their women. Luckily for me, I wasn't cursed with the same idiocy as the others."

  Kayla makes a face, then turns to Chris, ignoring us for the rest of lunch.

  "So, are you going to tell me where you've been?" Mei asks. "Olivia was really vague."

  "I was just visiting my grandma," I say.

  "For two months?" She raises her brows skeptically.

  "She was sick," I lie smoothly, causing Mei to laugh, oddly enough.

  "And she wanted you there? Right. 'Cause you're so known for helping the sick and injured." She laughs again and I force a chuckle.

  Her response pulls me up short. I guess I'm not exactly known for my altruism, but it's a bit of a surprise to realize how selfish she thinks I am. The very thought of me helping a sick relative is laughable to her. Is that how everyone sees me?

  I breathe a sigh of relief when the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. I've never liked Kayla or Chris, but by the end of lunch I realize I'm not too fond of Mei either. Granted, she's not as bad as the others who constantly attack me, but she's never stood up for me either. Why have I spent so many years hanging out w
ith people I don't even like? I suppose Olivia and Sebastian made it bearable. But with Olivia now out of school, there's really no reason for me to be around these people anymore.

  Caiden never showed up for lunch, and his desk remains empty all throughout English class. As much as I worry about why he skipped out early, I admit it’s a relief to not have to see him again just yet.

  In Chemistry, Mirowski looks surprised by my sudden return, but doesn't say anything about it until after class, when I stay behind to talk to him.

  "Emerson, I have to say I didn't expect you back so soon. Caiden told me you were living with your grandmother for the time being. As happy as I am to see you, I wish you had stayed away from town for a while yet. Things are still very much unsettled."

  "That's why I had to come back," I explain. "The Haven Pack was attacked last night."

  His eyes widen in genuine shock. "Was anyone hurt?"

  "One of the wolves was almost killed. They suspect your coven was behind it."

  He begins shaking his head, shock morphing to fear. "We haven't attacked anyone."

  "Are you sure?" I ask. "What about Richard? Could he have done this without you?"

  That gives him pause. "I don't think so... He wouldn't be so reckless to start a war without more in the coven backing him up. As it is, he only has about half their support."

  "Half? That's a lot... Do you think they'll vote him in as High Priest?"

  "I hope not," he says, sighing and rubbing his forehead. "Richard as High Priest would be a disaster; we'd be at war within the week."

  "Then why haven't you made a truce with the Haven Pack yet? If the coven knows they have nothing to fear from the pack, then there won't be any war."

  "Believe me, I've tried. But Richard and the others won't consider any kind of truce until Lydia's killer is taken care of."

  "Blood for blood," I mutter. "That's what Caiden said. I was hoping you'd be more rational. What happened that night was tragic, but you, at least, know it was an accident, right? The pack never intended to hurt anyone. They were just defending themselves. They never wanted any of us dead."

  Mirowski gives me a pitying look. "I know you want to believe that these werewolves are good people, Emerson. And perhaps some of them are. But you have to understand that our races have been at war with each other since their creation. They might have come there that night intending only to rescue you, but when given the opportunity to eliminate one of us without penalty, it doesn't surprise me that they took it. If we let this go without any repercussion, we'll look weak, and the pack will attack for sure."

  "You too? I can't believe this..." I shake my head and pace back and forth angrily. "Werewolves are all just a bunch of beasts to you! How can all of you be so prejudiced? You don’t even know them!”

  "No, you misunderstand me. It’s not that I believe they’re inherently evil. But the hatred between our races is so ingrained, I just can't see us all living in peace together. Even if we did form a truce, how could we enforce it? How would we know the werewolves won't simply turn on us the moment they see a weakness? That is what the coven is worried about. Yes, some of them do want revenge, but most are just afraid. We don't want any more death, but we don't see another option. We can’t appear weak to them or they’ll attack for sure."

  "What if there was a way to enforce the truce?" I ask hesitantly. "What if the coven knew, without a doubt, that the werewolves would stick to the truce?"

  "I'm afraid they're going to need more than just your word."

  "But if I could find a way?" I hedge, not wanting to reveal my plan just yet. "If you knew that the werewolves couldn't go back on their word without suffering severe consequences, could you get the coven to agree to it? Even without Lydia's killer?"

  "Maybe..." he says thoughtfully. “If they knew, without a doubt, that the pack couldn't attack us, I might be able to get them to agree."

  "Great, that's all I needed to hear," I say, hurrying from the room. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, once I get some things settled. Don't let Richard do anything rash!"

  Chapter 40

  I rush out to find Gray lounging against the wall right outside the door. "That sounded promising.”

  "Yeah, now all we have to do is convince James..." I say, trying not to get my hopes up too high.

  "Let's go then," Gray says, leading the way to his Hummer. "It's almost time for the meeting."

  As we get closer to James’ house, tension radiates from Gray.

  "You okay?" I ask him.

  "Yeah," he says, rubbing the back of his neck and rolling his shoulders. "I guess."

  "What's wrong? You don't think James will go for the truce?"

  He shrugs, eyes tight. "He might, he might not. But I don't know if meeting him at his house is the best idea..."

  "You don't trust James? He agreed last night that you'd be safe."

  "And if he decides to go back on that truce, I don't have any of my pack here for back up," he answers darkly, staring straight ahead at the road.

  "You have me."

  His eyes soften as he turns to look at me. "Yes. I guess I do. But I still don't like our chances of fighting our way out if it comes to that."

  I force a laugh, trying to lighten the mood. "Is Mr. Arrogance Personified actually doubting himself?"

  He gives me a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. “‘Course not."

  "So, what then? You think I won't be able to handle myself if it comes to a fight?" I tease.

  "I have no doubt you'd be able to handle yourself," he says seriously. "That doesn't stop me from worrying about you, though."

  I feel myself melt at the expression in his gaze. "There's nothing to worry about," I say, reaching out to lace my fingers with his. "If James were planning an ambush, Liv and Seb would have warned me.”

  He grunts, unconvinced, and turns his attention back to the road.

  Gray’s jaw tenses as we pull up and see several cars in the driveway. He looks around warily, eyes scanning the trees beyond the house. I try not to let his paranoia get to me, but I feel my own wolf tense in response.

  Josh answers the door, his black eyes briefly flitting over Gray and I before he leads us silently into the living room. Instead of sitting down on one of the sofas, he moves to stand next to the fireplace, crossing his arms over his massive chest. James is standing front and center, hands clasped behind his back. Olivia's father, Neil, takes up position on the other side of James. When his eyes meet mine, he gives me a small nod.

  Though I can sense more werewolves in and around the house, no one else enters the room, not even Olivia or Sebastian, though I can smell them close by.

  "Welcome, Emerson," James says in his cultured voice. "I see you've finally discovered what you are."

  Suddenly I remember the conversation we had before I left. At the time, his cryptic remarks about my father made me think he was threatening him, but now I realize he was hinting at my true bloodlines.

  "How long have you known," I ask, standing next to Gray, ignoring the chairs like the rest of them.

  "I suspected it the first time we met in the cafe," he says, eyes studying mine. "There was something intriguing in your scent. After a little digging, I discovered who your mother was, where she was from."

  "Why didn't you just tell me?"

  "Would you have believed me if I did?"

  "...Probably not..."

  "Precisely," he says, half his mouth twitching in amusement. "Why argue about it when it was only a matter of time before you discovered it on your own."

  "Is this what you wanted to discuss?" Gray asks, leaning his shoulder against the wall next to him. Though he seems relaxed, I know it's just a show. The scent of so many other wolves in so confined a space has his wolf on high alert. Mine too, for that matter.

  James' pleasant look disappears as he glances at Gray. Gold eyes meet silver, appraising each other.

  James meets my gaze again, not submitting to Gray, just refusing to engage in the
battle of wills, as if it's beneath him.

  "Emerson," he begins, as if Gray hadn't spoken. "I was hoping we might be able to come to some sort of arrangement."

  "What kind of arrangement?" My muscles tense.

  “Are you happy in the Silver Ridge Pack?”

  I look at him blankly, trying to formulate a response. Next to me, Gray straightens up, anger rolling off him in waves.

  "Since you left them, I naturally assumed that you are not entirely happy, immured in Ashwood Creek as you were…” James continues, ignoring the way Gray's eyes narrow.

  My mouth pulls into a grimace at the thought of returning to Ashwood Creek. I’m still a part of that pack. I remember only too well how I drank a sip of Nikolay’s blood at the dinner banquet. Gray said it was necessary to join the pack, allowing me to communicate with them through the pack bonds. He also said there was a way to break that bond later if I wanted. But if I sever the pack bond, how would I keep my wolf from going feral? And if I do decide to leave the pack, will Nikolay come hunting for me like he did with Derek?

  “If you aren’t happy in your current pack, perhaps you’d consider transferring to mine."

  "Why?" I ask, immediately suspicious. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that everyone wants something. They all have their own agendas, and you can bet they don't have your best interests at heart.

  He smiles, as if expecting my terse response. "For one, you already have friends in this pack."

  My eyes meet Josh’s briefly, but he's not looking at me as antagonistically as he usually does. In fact, I can't sense any anger or dislike in his scent at all.

  "For another, we can offer you protection, not just from Night’s Hollow, once they discover what you are, but from the other packs as well. Being a half-blood can be dangerous these days."

  "Not why should I join," I clarify. "Why do you want me to join? What's in it for you?" Did Josh tell him how I freed Sebastian from a binding? Do they know I’m the Chain Breaker?