by Shannon West
If Nick wanted him, if he forgave him and allowed him to come close to him again, it could mean Nick would insist on sharing the same bed with him every night. Hell, who was he kidding, from the way he’d acted earlier in the evening, it definitely would mean sharing a bed. Could he do that? Could he let Nick make love to him? He felt his cock hardening at the idea.
Nick began to stir in his sleep and rolled over on his back. He turned his head, opened his eyes and looked directly into Carter’s face. He looked puzzled for a moment, as if he couldn’t quite process what he was seeing. He reached out with one hand and touched Carter’s face, pulling his hand back sharply as he felt flesh.
“I thought I was dreaming.”
“I wanted to stay with you tonight. I hope it’s all right.”
“Like in high school, when you climbed in my bed.”
“Yes, just like that.”
He pushed himself up on one elbow and gazed down at him, but Carter suspected he was still half asleep. “Carter, I can’t...I can’t do this with you. I need to make love to you. I want you here, but I-I can’t do this.”
Carter put a hand on Nick’s chest. He moved his hand down to one of Nick’s nipples, and he circled it slowly with his fingertips. He looked up shyly. “I know.”
“God, baby.” He put his arms around Carter and took him down to his back. “You have to say what you mean, because I …are you saying you want me to make love to you? Am I still drunk or are you really here?”
“I do want you to, and I’m really here. But yeah, you’re probably still drunk.”
“I must be. This isn’t real, but I want it so much. So much.” He buried his face in Carter’s neck and then moved to kiss his lips, grinding their mouths together.
Carter whimpered into Nick’s mouth, and the sound seemed to spur him on even more. Nick moved his hands down Carter’s body and gasped when he realized he was naked in the bed beside him. Moving on top of him, holding him down with his muscle and his heat, he took both of their cocks in one big hand and fisted them together, starting up a frantic stroking.
Carter ripped his mouth away and pressed his forehead to Nick’s shoulder. “Oh God!” he cried and shamelessly thrust his hips upward. When Nick picked up the pace even further and added a little twist to the downward stroke, Carter sank his teeth into Nick’s shoulder, and bit down hard.
Nick took his mouth again, crushing it under his, and Carter made a sound he couldn’t ever remember making before. It was a kind of plea, a kind of moan, as he came harder than he’d ever come before. His hips jerked and thrust and then it went on and on, like it would never stop. Nick followed him seconds later and he yelled out his pleasure in a voice that was hoarse and exultant.
When it was over, Nick lifted his face up to kiss Carter one more time. He whispered something Carter couldn’t fully understand. Something about the fastest he’d ever come, with a funny little laugh that turned into a sob. Then he fell over on his side. In only a few minutes, Nick began snoring gently. Carter smiled and cuddled closer to him. He lay awake for a long time, unable to believe he’d actually had the nerve to go through with it. Could he still do this in the morning light? Could he actually tell Nick he wanted to be with him forever?
After a little while, he got up and retrieved a warm washcloth from the bathroom. He cleaned himself up first and then rinsed the cloth and crossed over to the bed. He wiped off Nick’s cock and thoroughly washed his come off Nick’s stomach. Nick moaned again and tossed his head when he felt the warm washcloth on his skin, but Carter soothed him back to sleep.
Did this mean Carter was gay? The way he had enjoyed that hard dick of Nick’s rubbing against his told him he must be. He didn’t know, but he knew one thing for sure. He was in love with Nick. It was simply a fact which couldn’t be denied any longer. He’d wasted too much time already. He was tired of trying to live without Nick. He had to try to be with him and explore his feelings, and he was pretty sure from what Nick said that he returned the feelings, but one thing was for sure. He was going to find out.
Chapter Three
Nick’s dreams were troubled that night. He was back at Walter Reed Medical Center in Washington, recovering from his wound in Iraq. It was there that Nick and Carter split up for good. Or so he’d thought at the time.
When Nick had first arrived at the sprawling, highly advanced hospital, he’d still been in critical condition, in real danger of losing his leg. When he was really bad, the nurses told him he sometimes called for a boy named Carter in his delirium. They asked him if Carter was a soldier he left behind in Afghanistan, because every time he called for him, he ended up crying in his sleep.
His mother visited him as often as she could, of course. While Nick was overseas, his father passed away from the cancer that had been eating away at him for such a long time. He’d asked to be cremated, and his mother urged Nick not even to come home. There was nothing he could do, and she told him his father would’ve wanted it that way. His mother moved to Florida to be near her sister. He’d heard nothing from Carter, but he still thought of him all the time, regretting the way they left it between them. Nick had to wonder why he hadn’t come to see him at the hospital. If Carter had been hurt, wild horses couldn’t have kept him away.
Did he know he was back and wounded, just like he’d warned him? After Nick knew he would keep his leg, he was almost glad he hadn’t come, afraid of what he might think if he saw his scars. Carter was so beautiful, so perfect—he wondered if Carter would turn away from the ugliness. Say I told you so. Say I warned you not to go. Nick was a cripple now. Would Carter feel only pity for him?
It was a few days before he was set to be released that Carter finally came to the hospital. Nick had just returned from therapy and his leg was still aching abominably from the torture his physical therapist called rehab. He’d been lying back resting on his bed, when he heard a little gasping sound from the doorway. He looked up to see Carter standing there, his face pale, his beautiful blue eyes staring in shock.
“Hey, man,” Nick said, embarrassed, “I didn’t think I looked that bad.”
Carter looked startled. “No, no, you look great. I mean...you look...oh hell, Nick, what did they do to you?” He rushed over to the side of the bed, and if Nick hadn’t known better, he’d have thought he meant to kiss him. But he merely patted his shoulder a few times and looked stricken.
Nick cleared his throat nervously. “Well, it’s good to see you, buddy. Where you been keeping yourself?
“Just going to school mostly. I have my graduate degree now, and I’m working on my doctorate. I’ve been working as a graduate assistant at the University.” Carter’s voice was still low and serious, as if he were a visitor at a funeral or something. He stopped patting his shoulder, but his eyes kept straying to his leg. Mostly covered by sweat pants, Nick knew the bulge of the bandages were still evident.
“Aren’t you going to say I told you so? You did warn me not to go, you know?”
Carter looked shocked. “No, Nick, I would never say something like that when you’re so badly hurt. How can you even think I would do that?”
Nick regarded him with his head slightly cocked to one side, knowing Carter would never be able to leave it at that. In amusement, he counted silently to himself. One. Two. Three.
“Of course, if you had been a little more reasonable and listened to me, this never would have happened. I didn’t say those things to be mean back then, I said them because I was genuinely afraid for you. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I know how gung-ho you can be at times. Just rushing in where angels fear to tread, and look what happened.”
Nick smiled a little. This was more like his Carter. Fussing over him and worrying about him had always been his specialty. He’d gotten much the same lecture when he was fourteen and went out for football.
Carter ran out of steam and looked pointedly at his leg again. His voice shook a little. “My mother said they thought for a while they might have to amputate.”
“Yeah, but I talked my way out of it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hey, I’m not above begging when I have to.” He leaned back against the headboard of his bed, feeling surprisingly better now that Carter was here with him. “I kept making deals with them. Just give me a few more hours—give me till morning—wait one more day.” He laughed. “It worked, though. The docs at Kandahar in Afghanistan are terrific. They saved my leg for me, really. By the time I got to Walter Reed, I was mostly out of danger, except for infection.”
Carter shuddered and shook his head. “Infection which could have killed you. You shouldn’t have been so stubborn. Your mother told my mom the doctors said you could be in pain for the rest of your life by being so pigheaded about saving your leg.”
“It’s my damn leg, Carter. I know what I can live with and what I can’t. I might be a cripple the rest of my life, but I’ll have both my legs.” He glared at Carter for a moment before lowering his eyes. He didn’t want to fight with him. He simply wanted to enjoy this visit, for however long he could. He wanted to pull Carter into his arms and onto this bed. He wasn’t entirely sure he could keep his hands off him much longer.
Carter seemed to want to keep the peace too, because he subsided, sitting quietly in the chair by Nick’s bed, a slight frown on his face. “I wish I could take you out and buy you dinner or something. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. We have a lot to catch up on.”
“I can get passes from the hospital, if you really mean it. We could go now, if you want to. I just have to change clothes and let the charge nurse know.” Nick realized how eager he sounded, like a damn kid. He tried to tamp down his enthusiasm. “I mean, if you want to.” he shrugged.
“That would be great, Nick. Do you really feel up to it?”
“Sure. I’ll be released in a few days anyway. Just let me make arrangements. Wait right here.” He stood up, balancing mostly on his good leg and reached for his cane.
“’Take charge Nick.’ Just like in the old days.”
Nick looked down at his cane and shrugged. “Not exactly like the old days, but I’m getting there.”
Carter’s eyes, always so expressive, were speaking to him now, but maybe Nick was out of practice, or maybe he was afraid of reading too much into his expression, because he couldn’t decipher the look on Carter’s face right then. Sympathy, yes, but something else, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Scared, yet hopeful for what the evening might bring, Nick dropped his gaze and went to find the charge nurse.
****
The next morning, Carter slipped out of bed without waking Nick and took a quick shower. He wrapped a towel around his hips and went into the kitchen to pour some tomato juice. He broke an egg into it, added two aspirin and some Tabasco sauce. He set the concoction in the refrigerator for Nick when he woke up. He was bound to have a hangover after last night.
Carter knew he wouldn’t want anything to eat, but food was exactly what he needed to soak up some of the leftover un-metabolized alcohol. He made some toast and eggs and a big pot of coffee. He had some things to say to Nick, and he wanted to make sure he was fully aware of every word. He could already hear Nick stirring around in the bedroom.
In another few minutes, Nick appeared, his handsome face scowling, leaning heavily against the doorjamb to hold himself up. “What the hell are you still doing here?”
Carter looked at him in confusion and amazement. Had he been so drunk the night before that he didn’t remember what had happened between them? He’d already seen the brief flash of joy and longing in Nick’s eyes when he first stepped into the room, and saw him there, though he’d quickly and carefully hooded his eyes and scowled to cover it.
Nick was full of bravado, trying to make Carter think he didn’t care about him anymore. Trouble was, Carter was no longer buying it. He’d had plenty of proof that Nick was far from indifferent to him. He made a sudden decision to play along and pretend last night hadn’t happened.
“What in God’s name are you wearing?”
“I’m wearing one of your towels. What does it look like? My clothes are in the dryer.” Carter spooned the eggs onto a couple of plates along with the buttered toast. He slid a plate over to the end of the counter. “And I’m making breakfast, obviously. You got a problem with that?”
Nick shrugged his disapproval, but came limping slowly into the kitchen, wearing only the pair of tight, gray boxer shorts. They were made out of some kind of T-shirt material and showed off his bulging package quite nicely. Carter had caressed Nick’s cock many times during the night, fondling and holding it like some new toy, while Nick groaned and smiled in his sleep.
Nick had done the same thing to him, though he obviously had no memory of it all now. Carter had gained an appreciation for just how large Nick was. He’d decided to play it cool, though, so he kept his eyes off Nick’s package and his hands busy pouring coffee.
“Sit down and eat breakfast.”
“I don’t want anything.”
“Maybe not, but you’re going to eat anyway. Now sit down and do as I tell you.”
Nick obediently slid onto a stool, but cast a dark glance toward Carter. “Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?”
“I’m the one who took care of your ass last night after you ordered everyone else out of here. Even though you were incredibly rude. And incredibly drunk. I put you to bed and I took care of your leg. Now shut up and eat.”
He poured Nick a big cup of black coffee and placed it in front of him, before getting the tomato juice mixture out of the refrigerator and plunking it down in front of him. “Grandma Ford’s Hangover Cure. Drink it down.”
Nick sniffed at it suspiciously. “No thanks.”
Carter put his hands on his hips and spoke to him in his best school teacher voice. “I said drink it. I have some things I want to say to you and I want you to hear every word.”
“We have nothing to talk about.” Nick glared at him, but picked it up and gulped it down. He made a face and gasped. “God, what is that shit?”
“I already told you. Now eat something and you’ll start to feel a little better.”
Nick gave him a suspicious glare. “Did you spend the night here? Where did you sleep? Oh God, I have a headache.” He rubbed his face and looked back at Carter. “Hey, did you by any chance take off your clothes for me last night? Or did I dream that?" He looked confused for a moment. “I had some really strange dreams all night last night,” he mumbled.
Carter laughed shortly. “Obviously you dreamed that. And naturally, I slept on the couch. You don’t have a guest room I could find.” Carter shrugged. “What did you think?”
Nick was silent for a moment and then glared at him. “I don’t know. I thought...I mean, it seemed like...I had this dream. Oh hell, why are you still here anyway?”
“I told you—I took care of you. God knows somebody needs to. You tried to drink yourself to death last night. There are quicker ways to kill yourself, you know.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me,” Nick said angrily. “That’s only for a friend, someone I trust. Not somebody like you.”
“Oh, was that supposed to be a shot to the heart? I am your friend, and you know it.”
“Bullshit!” Nick yelled, wincing as the noise hurt his head.
“You deserved that. Now are you going to shut the hell up and let me have my say or are you going to keep insulting me?”
Nick got a mutinous look on his face, but stayed quiet.
Carter took a deep breath. “I came down here because the college offered me a job, it’s true. This college is small, but well thought of. But to be honest, I took a cut in pay to come and I came here because of you. I’ve thought for a long time we both made some stupid mistakes and ruined our friendship. I don’t think either of us have really been happy about it ever since.”
“You seemed pretty damned happy—you told me exactly what you thought of me.”
Nick blew out a deep, angry breath and clenched his hands around his coffee mug. His eyes were flashing brightly, but he couldn’t meet Carter’s eyes.
“All right then,” Carter said. “I’ll leave.”
“No!” Nick said in a loud voice. “I didn’t say I wanted you to go.”
Carter smiled softly. “What are you saying, Nick? Do you want me to stay and talk?”
Nick remained silent, so Carter prodded him. “Do you?”
“Yes, all right!” he yelled. “I guess I want you to stay. For now.”
“Say please?”
Nick was furious by this point, but he glared at Carter and said in a mincing voice, “Please.”
“Okay, I’ll be glad to. Thought you’d never ask.”
Nick narrowed his eyes at Carter. “Cut the jokes, Carter. You’re not going to tease your way out of this. I don’t think we have anything to talk about. You ended our friendship with what you said to me. I’m not interested in renewing it.”
“No?” Carter took a sip of coffee. “Well, I am. I have a proposition for you actually, if you’re interested.”
“What kind of proposition?”
“I just moved to town and I need a place to stay. This place is pretty basic,” he said, glancing around the room. “But I think I could make it work.”
Nick glared at him incredulously. “You're insane. Do you seriously think I’d let you move in here?”
“Just until I can find another place. In the meantime, I’ll pay half the rent and utilities and do all the cooking. And cleaning.” He smiled. “And I’ll even decorate for Christmas. From the looks of your apartment, you’re no better in that area than you ever were.” When Nick continued to hesitate, Carter smiled. “C’mon, Nick. For old times’ sake. You’d really be helping me out.”
“Why would I care about helping you out?”