Always

by Jessie Rose Case

  It added to another restless night. Waking early, she was up before White Dove. Walking down to the river to bathed. She came back and found White Dove up and making breakfast.

  “Good morning.” Elizabeth told her and bent to kiss her.

  White Dove accepted her kiss and thought that it was the first time since coming to the village that Esa, had done that. “I’m going riding today,” she told her. “I’ll be back later.”

  White Dove nodded to her and they ate in silence, when finished Elizabeth rose and hugged her. She left without another word and went in search of Patches.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Red Wolf had started out early that day too. He had worked his way back towards the village. He’d intended to stay out for at least a week, but he wanted to see her. He had worked longer and harder than needed and had decided to make the longer round trip back.

  Elizabeth was setting off on Patches, having filled her water bottles and packed up some food just as Red Wolf was starting his journey back.

  Elizabeth wasn’t sure where she was going. She just wanted to get away on her own for a bit. On any other day. Black Dog would have come with her. So for once, she was alone and glad of it.

  She headed away from the village watering hole. It was another beautiful day. She pushed her pony on. Remembering she’d rode this way as a child on many occasions. Ahead she remembered, were a number of old uninhabited Indian rock homes at Moerin cliffs.

  It was a ride, but she was up for it. She had been fascinated by them as a child and it had become a play den for them on many occasions. The lower rooms were used as emergency store houses and safe houses in extreme weather for the village. She had many fond memories of those days. Taking refuge or hiding out.

  The fun of hide and seek and exploring the unusual surroundings had been a wonder to her. Looking for discarded items left by the ancient people and more recent warriors became a game they’d enjoyed. On the spare of the moment, Elizabeth decided to head that way.

  Carl was watching Black Dog track a Deer. He was amazed by their skill and envied them.

  The morning passed quickly and still Elizabeth rode on. She wasn’t worried about getting back late, she was on Indian ground and White Dove would understand.

  Red Wolf with one of his braves was making his way across a stream. A good half days’ ride and he would be back at the village. Slowly it started to rain. Red Wolf looked up to the sky and realised that it would rain and heavy for some time. A storm was coming. He needed shelter.

  Elizabeth had almost arrived at the Moerin cliffs when the rain started to pour heavily. Within a few minutes, the heavens opened and thundered its arrival. Lightning struck. She held on to her pony and pushed him on the last bit.

  Talking to him all the while. Soothing him. She made it to the well-worn track that had begun to run with water. She kicked him on again. Entering one of the lower rock rooms taking Patches with her. Elizabeth was wet to the skin. Not again, she thought. She dismounted and looked around her.

  Luckily it had been restocked by someone in the tribe. Old straw and grain had been left by a previous inhabitant. A bucket to collect water. Elizabeth grabbed a couple of handfuls of the straw. Took Patches saddle off and wiped him down, talking to him calming him while the storm raged on.

  Lightning struck outside the entrance. Patches reared up and Elizabeth became desperate to sooth him but found it difficult. The enclosed musty space was making him nervous. Her growing fear wasn’t helping.

  Lightning struck again, and this time Patches slipped from her hold and bolted with Elizabeth half clinging on and running back into the rain after him.

  Red Wolf was approaching the rocks when the lightning started. He’d crossed over dismounted and sheltered. When the second lightning struck, he was amazed to see Patches run out from the cliffs further up, followed by Elizabeth clearly desperate to gain control of her horse and in some danger of lightning striking both of them.

  Just as quickly as Elizabeth’s exit from her cliff space had been, Red Wolf jumped on his horse, unleashed it and rode after Patches.

  Elizabeth was shocked and grateful to see him riding out across the plateau after Patches. She watched open mouthed as Red Wolf signalled for her to return and taking the hint, Elizabeth went back inside and waited.

  Bear, Red Wolfs brave came in after her. She had known him for as long as she had known the tribe. He greeted her without words as was the custom and saw to his horse.

  Elizabeth suddenly found herself feeling very nervous. ‘This was not going as planned. The last time she had been alone with Red Wolf….’

  Elizabeth shut off that thinking. She couldn’t handle it. It had not ended well she reminded herself. ‘Just as well we are not alone,’ she thought. She took comfort in Bear’s presence. Took her jacket off and shook the water from it. Then sat towards the back of the opening.

  Red Wolf came bounding back all too quickly she thought and with her pony in hand. He passed it off to Bear. Elizabeth was so happy to see Patches safe and well she forgot how or why Red Wolf was here. He dismounted. Spoke to Bear and unusually tied up their horses.

  He didn’t look at her but picked up the straw Elizabeth had tried to use earlier and completed the job on both ponys. All three sat in silence. All the while the weather hammered down. The bucket was put out for fresh water and fed to the horses. Bear passed her her drinking flask. She thanked him, and more time passed.

  It felt like hours, but the weather started to look like it was improving. Elizabeth was relieved. She couldn’t stay here with Red Wolf for much longer. Red Wolf called to Elizabeth.

  “Do they know you are here?” He asked her. Elizabeth frowned. She had told them she was going riding not where she would be. But then, this morning she hadn’t known where she would go. She sighed.

  “No.” Red Wolf spoke quickly to Bear. To Elizabeth’s despair, Bear mounted and was gone.

  Red Wolf turned to face her. He’d tried to ignore her but couldn’t put it off any longer and drank in the vision before him. Even wet and miserable, she took his breath away. It felt like he had been away from her for so long. He noticed Elizabeth’s despair at Bear’s departure. It was obvious where he had gone and why.

  “Your wet.” He told her. It came out harsher than he meant. “Is there any firewood or makings?” He asked as he walked towards her.

  “I didn’t have a chance to look, I’d only just got here when Patches bolted.” Elizabeth said defensively. Trying her best to ignore him and wringing the wet from her hair. “There’s plenty of straw in the back, I’ll get some.” she offered.

  “I’ll look for some firewood, we’ve got plenty of water and some food but you need some heat.” He told her.

  Elizabeth went to the back of the caves. She wasn’t sure she needed any heat. She was feeling hot enough. Trying desperately not to think of what he was doing here. She came back laden and piled it up for the ponies to eat.

  She brushed and soothed them. They were nervous but gladly ate then drank in turn. She took it back to refill. The bucket was soon filled again and Elizabeth brought it back and let the ponies have their fill. When they were finished, Elizabeth tided the straw.

  Eventually she looked over to where Red Wolf was trying to build a fire. He must have found wood and kindling. Elizabeth kept her distance. She suddenly felt suffocated, damp and desperate for some air and walked back to the edge of the cave and stood by the entrance.

  Elizabeth leaned on the wall looking out at the torrent of rain. The beauty of its savagery stirred her.

  She didn’t hear him come up behind her, the noise of the rain was deafening. He must have called her name, but she hadn’t heard him.

  The first she realised his presence was as he touched her arm. Elizabeth jumped as if he had burnt her.

  Red Wolf frowned and backed away, he looked hurt by her reaction to his touch.

  “Your wet,” he repeated, he indicated the fire. “Come and dry off.”


  Elizabeth followed him to the fire. “It seems,” he told her drolly. “That I am continually telling you to remove your clothes.”

  More soberly and looking around him he continued. “But this time we have no other clothes. Take this blanket and slip out of your outer clothes. When did you change back into wearing western clothes?” he asked her.

  Elizabeth ignored the question and wrapped the blanket around herself. She took off her pants and shirt. He took them from her and laid them over the rocks near the fire to dry.

  “Are you cold?” he asked her. She recalled the last time she was wet and cold, she answered him nervously.

  “I am fine do not worry.”

  She’d ignored his statement about the clothes. Red Wolf supressed a smile. It bothered her. Being undressed with him again. Did she not know it was the most special moment of his life. What gift she had given him? He shook his head. He had to let it go….

  “Hungry?” he asked.

  “Yes” This was safer ground, she thought.

  “I’ll make something to eat.”

  She watched him thinking, that should be my job. A sadness rose in her, she bit her lip in an effort to stop the tears that threatened her. A good Indian wife would know how to do that. But she wasn’t a good Indian wife, was she? Tearing her eyes away, she busied herself with wringing out her hair and rubbing it on the blanket. What was the point on dwelling what she couldn’t have?

  She tried to hide her pain and keep her silence. She walked nearer the fire to shake out her hair and allow the warmth to dry it. She wrapped the blanket tightly around her. Red Wolf, as he had many times before, put together an evening meal and they each sat in silence.

  Elizabeth could not bring herself to speak. Glimpses of him moving around the cave gave her plenty to think about. She sat running her hand through her hair, memories of them being in these caves came flooding back. More innocent times. Red Wolf handed her the food.

  “Thank you.” She murmured. He would wait until they had finished he told himself, then they would talk.

  Elizabeth picked at her food although hungry.

  “Eat.” He told her, and she did. The food was good and hot. Elizabeth suddenly realised that she hadn’t eaten all day and she was starving.

  Red Wolf watched her discretely. He felt better seeing her tuck into her meal. He could sense her anxiety and did not want that to spoil the food or Elizabeth’s chance to eat. He banked up the fire. There had been a surprising amount of wood hidden in the back of the cave. He would have to replenish it.

  He guessed someone had been using them recently. Elizabeth was soon finished. She got up and poured some coffee.

  “Would you like some.” She asked him.

  “I would yes.” She poured two and handed one to him. The cave took on a homely feel. It became warm very quickly.

  The glow of the fire and its warmth gave a sense of ease and the aroma of food comforting. They both sat and listened to the fire cracking and the rain beating down outside. Any other time, under different circumstances it would have been perfect.

  At the same time, Carl was sheltering with Black Dog and the braves. They had come across an abandoned cabin and took shelter. Carl had lit a fire and food was cooking.

  Red Wolf looked at his tin cup and spoke, he could not wait any longer.

  “We need to talk.” He said quietly gazing into his coffee. Elizabeth ignored him. If she did it long enough maybe he’d stop, she thought. It was childish and stupid but she didn’t care. “Are we not going to speak?” he asked her.

  Elizabeth desperately wanted to say no. Didn’t want to discuss it. Didn’t want to take the pain apart and feed it. Not hear the words he would tell her. Feel the knife cut into her again. Have the confirmation that she knew was coming. But she did.

  “I fear I have little to say.”

  “There is much to be said, plans to make, arrangements to be made,” he told her.

  Elizabeth laughed incredibly. “Plans, arrangements? Your plans can and have been made without me.” She responded angrily. It hurt so much…

  Red Wolf looked at her unsure of what she meant. Was she insulting him? Rejecting him?

  He stood. “Without you?” He repeated rising to her temper. What was wrong with her? Was she still ill? he wondered.

  Elizabeth pierced her eyes on him.

  “Decisions have already been made, have they not?” She bristled at him.

  Red Wolf didn’t know what to make of it. Was she rejecting him? After everything that had happened between them. Had she found love with Carl after all? Red Wolf slammed a hand into the wall. Threw his cup to one side and in three strides, was across the room and pulling her to her feet.

  “Without you.” He repeated again through gritted teeth. “What would be the point without you?” he shouted at her. “You go off with Carl for a week, you spend days and nights with him, share his bed and you insult me.” He raged almost out of control.

  The thought of her in another man’s arms, his bed, spoken aloud for the first time, pushed him to the edge of reason.

  He shook her. “Deny it.” He demanded. “Tell me you were not in his bed.” He spoke verminously shaking her. “Go on, deny it.”

  Elizabeth realised she had pushed him too far. She was in danger of losing her blanket. She tried to increase her hold on it, while Red Wolf ranted. Elizabeth felt how close he was to losing his control.

  She spoke keeping her voice level. “I have nothing to explain and no reason to explain to you.”

  She tried to remove herself from his grip.

  “Oh no, we are dealing with this now.” He said wrestling with her.

  “You are with another man and yet I still want you,” he spat. “How low am I?”

  “Red Wolf don’t please. You’re hurting me.” Elizabeth cried out. Red Wolf looked at her anguish, fear and pain and instantly, his anger evaporated. He felt shame. He’d hurt her. He backed away, taking several deep breaths. Even after everything she’d done. It was the last thing he’d ever want to do. His honour was failing him. He felt like he was gut ripped.

  He’d lost control with this woman, so much a part of him. The woman he couldn’t stand being apart from her. The woman he wanted in his bed and bearing his children.

  “Then if I have given you no reason to explain to me, I guess this won’t mean anything either.” He said calmly and quietly as he looked meaningfully into her eyes.

  He brought his face close to hers. Elizabeth held her breath and her anxiety got the better of her. She backed away from him, letting out her breath as she went. Red Wolf smiled at her. It wasn’t friendly.

  He was a hunter. Hadn’t she learnt that you never run from a predator?

  Sensing her feelings, he slowly walked with her backwards. Lifting the long strands of her hair back from her face he wrapped them round his hand, it was dryer now, to back of her neck. As he did so, his fingers lightly brushed her skin sending goose bumps across her flesh.

  Elizabeth shuddered. Too close. He was too near her, she cried out in her head. He was touching her. Had anything felt so needed? Red Wolf lightly caressed her cheek. Then her neck. Elizabeth couldn’t back up any more. She was at the rock face. Red Wolf smiled down at her. Nowhere to go. He exposed her flesh at her neck with his hands, his mouth went in search of it. Elizabeth stiffened.

  Red Wolf felt the blood rush to his cock. He slowly released his grip on her. She held her breath under him as he used his mouth to kiss his way down her neck, along her shoulder and continue down her body.

  Elizabeth clung to her blanket, it was the only thing keeping her modesty alive. What had happened? The feel of his body against hers, the touch of his hands and lips consuming her. She desperately wanted to stop him or put her arms around him and crush him against her, seeking his mouth, rubbing herself up against him. The need to feel him inside her consumed her but she did neither. ‘He wasn’t hers’ cried out in her head and a lump formed in her throat. She couldn�
��t find the words to speak it aloud.

  Red Wolf was driven. The taste he’d had of her earlier not enough. He may have lost her to another male and it rode him. He had to know. He’d waited long enough. He needed to touch her, hold her, caress her, be in her but after his outburst earlier, he’d scared her. Something he’d never wanted to do. He remembered how her skin felt under his touch. Under his mouth, the taste of her, the water, salt, her essence filling him. His arousal threatened to burst free.

  Moving his mouth along her collarbone to the base of her throat. He sucked. Elizabeth leaned into him, her body softening under him. Licking the spot, he kissed his way and explored the crevasse between her breasts with his tongue.

  Elizabeth held her breath. The blanket the only thing between them. She clung on and still hadn’t touched him. His mouth and tongue were nibbling her hands clinging to the blanket and her skin above her camisole, his hands moving over her body. She so desperately wanted his touch. His mouth moved against the blanket backwards and forwards. The brush of his face and hair silk against her skin. Elizabeth struggled to hold on. The blanket was in his way. The only thing holding her modesty in check. And she didn’t want it any more. She didn’t she wanted him. Elizabeth dropped the blanket and leaned back.