Always

by Jessie Rose Case

  Red Wolf bent down and nipped at her neck. Grasping her, he turned her under him, pulling her up on her knees. Placed her hands on the wall and his cock at her entrance.

  “You get what you ask for love,” he told her and slammed inside her. Esa moaned gasping and turned her face towards him. He looked at her. He was in no doubt of the pleasure she enjoyed because of him. He began to take her body and soul.

  Elizabeth felt his hand on her shoulder and the pounding he was giving her. She moved her legs wider and gladly rode the wave he created, trying to keep up and cried out with abandon when she could hold back no longer. Red Wolf rammed up into her burying himself deep and gave her his seed once more. Completely exhausted, both were soon asleep.

  That’s how Carl found them. Naked, alone and together.

  He had searched ahead of his party to find a cave to shelter in. They had left the shelter of the cabin as the weather improved only for the heavens to open again.

  There was no mistaking what he saw or what had happened there. Carl had quickly been able to hold back Black Dog and the rest of the hunting party having spotted Red Wolfs and Elizabeth’s ponies and seen the bodies beyond. He moved them on to a nearby cave. Carl knew, the smoke from their fire would soon alert Red Wolf when he woke. Time would, after all, reveal all. Carl felt heart sick. He’d never really had her at all.

  No matter how much he tried to sleep, Carl couldn’t. The images of Red Wolf and Elizabeth entwined, joined together haunted him.

  The intimacy of both wrapped around each other, that they were naked and laying together, left no doubt of the pleasure they had shared. In their nakedness. He acknowledged his envy at Red Wolf being the one to share her naked embrace and the pleasure she would have given him. And it tore at him.

  Part of him knew this was always how it was going to be. Still, he had hoped it would be him, not Red Wolf laying with her. He couldn’t escape his emotions. She was lost to him. The realisation of that alone, threatened to break him. How had he allowed himself to be so caught up in it all? And then understood that he had little control over any of it. He shook his head in disbelief. He wasn’t such a stupid man and realised, that if he were to stay at the Double T, he would have to find a way of living with this knowledge. Of doing his job well and making a life for himself elsewhere.

  Either that or he would have to leave. Could he see her each day knowing she was laying with another man each night? Right now, Carl wasn’t sure he could do that. In time, possibly. But to leave, he thought, leave her, that he was not ready to do. Not now.

  Eventually exhaustion took him and was woken by the sound of voices at sun rise.

  Black Dog was talking with Red Wolf and he indicated in Carls direction. Red Wolf approached Carl and bent down to him. For several moments neither man said anything.

  Eventually, Red Wolf looked at him.

  “Thank you.” Red Wolf whispered. Carl could sense what that cost him and stared back. “And I’m sorry.” He told him as he rose and walked back to his braves. There was no point Carl telling him, he hadn’t done it for him, or Carl shouting his feelings and calling him out. They both knew that was futile and would only hurt Elizabeth. The battle was over before it had begun.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The morning moved on quickly. Camp broke and both camps came together. Horses were prepared, and they moved out. Elizabeth had been shocked and surprised to find Carl and the braves camping in the next caves over. She found it hard to look Carl in the eye. Red Wolf had told her that he had come upon them in the night and had the others camp further away.

  He knew. The situation wasn’t a good one. She was embarrassed, and it made both men uneasy. The journey back to the village took most of the day and everyone kept their own company.

  Carl couldn’t believe it had only been 48 hours earlier that he had so much. Their arrival at the village had been expected. Bear had made it back to informed Dull Knife of what had happened to Elizabeth and they were waiting for them.

  Dull Knife came out to greet them. The welcome was warm with relief. White Dove came out to welcome them home. And she registered the strained atmosphere between Elizabeth and Carl and the intimacy between Red Wolf and Elizabeth. She knew then, time had run out.

  White Dove went to Elizabeth as she dismounted and greeted her quickly. She embraced her and held her as, Dull Knife addressed the tribe.

  “Now my son and daughter are both here, I invite you all to join me in the celebration of my oldest son’s marriage.”

  Elizabeth stilled and turned slowly. Visibly shocked. She turned her head to Red Wolf confused. How did Dull Knife know? she thought. She looked back at While Dove. She looked back at her with sadness and concern. “In two moons.” Dull Knife continued, “Red Wolf and Sky will be joined, as will Running Elk and Clear Water.”

  A chorus of calls went up. Dancing and music started, and the village came alive with wedding preparations. Red Wolf was ripped away from her by the braves. Elizabeth stood in silence able to move. Her heart ripping open once more.

  Had he lied to her and she’d given him everything? She found that hard to believe. Had they both been so stupid?

  She knew only too well, Red Wolf could never, would ever, confront his father in front of the tribe and challenge the decision. Once vocalised the decision had been made for them. She’d been right all along. She had given everything and lost him anyway.

  She wasn’t sure how she’d done it, but she had stayed for what seemed an appropriate length of time, White Dove holding her, then helped her make her way back to her tepee. Carl had taken their ponies on arriving. And gone straight to the tepee. He was there when Elizabeth walked in.

  He’d heard the commotion but wasn’t sure what it was all about. She looked straight at him.

  “I am sorry Carl, yesterday should never have happened, I have disgraced myself, it was my mistake and I’ll have to live with it.”

  As she finished White Dove walked in behind her.

  “Esa, I am so sorry. I did tell you what Dull Knife had intended.” She told her gently. “He was never likely to change his mind.”

  Elizabeth gave a waned smile. “Yes, you told me. This is my doing White Dove and I accept it.”

  “Will you be able to do this?” White Dove asked her.

  Elizabeth shrugged. She wanted to ball and scream but she had no tears and no voice to do it with.

  “I will have too, father would never understand if I left now.”

  White Dove hugged her, they both knew the next two days were not going to be easy. Carl looked confused at both women. White Dove took pity on him.

  “Red Wolf is to have a tribal marriage to Sky in two days.”

  ‘What’ Carl thought. “He can’t.” Carl spoke angrily. “What about Elizabeth and the two of them?”

  White Dove took his meaning.

  “This was a tribal decision Carl, Red Wolf will never be able to challenge it and Elizabeth understands that only too well.”

  Carl stared at her. “So he would - just leave her?” he asked incredulously, his voice rising.

  Elizabeth put her hand on his arm.

  “He has no choice. Neither of us do.” Was all she said, the sadness in her voice and her resigned manner told him the fight in her had gone. It was indeed over.

  Red Wolf came to them later that night. He entered the tepee searching for Elizabeth but found all three of them waiting for him. Elizabeth spoke to him in that same resolved voice she had used earlier in pacifying Carl.

  She did not move to find some privacy for them, she had set the stage for this confrontation and by his look Red Wolf was expecting it.

  Elizabeth drew her eyes to his face and looked longingly at him. He was everything she wanted and couldn’t have. She managed to drag her eyes away and swallowed hard. In a voice that could barely be heard, she spoke to him.

  “We had more in one moment than most ever have in a lifetime and now, we must do, what is expected of us.”


  Red Wolf looked at her. His heart breaking. He thought she’d never seemed more beautiful than at that moment. More Indian in her resolve than Western. Accepting her fate. Not since the first time he’d seen her at three years old, running across the ranch yard, hair flying, to take her father’s hand on their first visit to the ranch, did she look so majestic, so awe inspiring.

  She did what was expected of her then and she was doing it now. It didn’t mean she didn’t love him, he knew that. In fact, it showed him just how much she did. She was sacrificing their love for his position in the tribe and would not allow that to be taken from him. To challenge his father now would do that. She was doing what she had to do to survive.

  His heart broke all over again. He had lost his heart to her on horseback seeing her leave for the East all those years ago. It was then, that he knew he could not live without her. He swallowed she’d never looked more breath-taking. Not in the moment at the stagecoach, or the moment in the river, not even last night, when she had been his at last and given herself willingly to him, came close to now.

  The strength she found now, gave her something that surpassed all that. And made him realise all the more, just what he was giving up.

  She was his life, she was the air he breathed. He could barely remember a time, that didn’t have her in it. A memory that did not involve her. An event that did not give him pleasure. Even the years she were gone, he kept a part of her with him. The hair she’d given him braded at his wrist. Broken long ago, he’d kept it safe and held it to comfort him. To remind him she’d be back one day.

  He knew what those words had cost her and what they would cost him, and he wanted her all the more for it.

  He gave a sharp nod. Not trusting his voice should he answer her. He couldn’t. He turned and looked directly at Carl.

  “Look after her,” he asked him. Both men understanding what had transpired.

  “If she’ll let me.” Carl responded. Red Wolf nodded stood and with one glance back and walked out.

  Elizabeth never saw him again before his marriage. The next two days passed in a blur. Elizabeth and White Dove were expected to do many of the marriage things involved with the family. Elizabeth had struggled throughout, wanting nothing more but to run away but she did her duty and helped Running Elk. His marriage had been expected and this wasn’t his fault. She welcomed his happiness, it was a good match. Only now, her work also took the man she wanted from her.

  With each task she helped complete, the further away he became. She thought she would die with the pain of it.

  The morning of the wedding was beautiful. Elizabeth hadn’t been able to sleep and had got up early. Needing some space, some peace from it all.

  Carl was up and watched her leave the tepee. It was clear she was heading for her favourite place. He followed her at a discrete distance, watched her gaze out over the river and sit down. He eventually joined her. She was sat cross legged and eyes closed. Without opening them, she spoke to him.

  “I wish to go home.” Carl reached out and took her hand in his.

  “You are home,” he told her kindly. They sat together like that until called. Elizabeth dressed and took her position behind Dull Knife and next to White Dove.

  She sang the songs and stood her ground. The ceremony was quick and beautiful. Running Elk and Clear Water looked very happy. Unlike Red Wolf and Sky. He hardly engaged at all and she seemed to like the idea of being married to the next Chief more than the person. She refused to look at him and his eyes never left her face.

  Red Wolf didn’t hide that he was doing his duty. He ignored his ‘wife’. He did not embrace her and held her hand for as shorter time as possible. She didn’t move to embrace him. But congratulated his new wife as was expected of the husband’s family. She was after all, the Chief’s daughter.

  What she did not expect, was Sky’s response to her and what she said quietly to her. “You are not my family. My husband will never love me because of you, you will not be welcome in my home.” And Sky walked away from her. Some lines were not to be crossed. It wouldn’t be a difficult price to pay, thought Elizabeth.

  She danced and sang as expected and joined in with Dull Knife and White Dove. The single women of the tribe started their traditional dance, of circling the fire in a clockwise direction facing outwards and Elizabeth was pulled in to join them, the single braves surrounded them, dancing in the opposite direction. When the music reached a joining point, you danced with the brave opposite you.

  It was a way of meeting for many of the young, expected or unexpected alike. Elizabeth found herself going through the motions, she wasn’t looking for who might be her partner, it didn’t matter. When the music beat stopped, Elizabeth looked up and there stood Carl and beyond him, Red Wolf. Carl wasn’t there by chance, she realised and hated that Red Wolf had done that for her. She helped him complete the dance, grateful to see him and ignored her heart on the other side of the fire.

  Such great celebrations could go on for days, as the Harvest drew near, the weddings and Harvest became entwined and it was brought forward. It went on for a week. Red Wolf and Sky had left for the traditional wedding time alone, as had Running Elk and Clear Water.

  Elizabeth tried hard not to think of it or to break down every moment it crossed her mind. But to enjoy the rest of her visit and not think at all. Everything was just so painful. Everything a memory. Elizabeth was emotionally drained, keeping up her happy pretence exhausted her. She felt dead inside.

  The week moved into the next and Elizabeth had never been so ready to go. She needed to be at the ranch, to be away from all this. She needed to be gone before Red Wolf returned. On the eve of her leaving, Elizabeth had dinner with her father. White Dove and Carl joined them. After the preliminary greetings and the food, conversation was light and entertaining.

  Elizabeth left it for as long as she could, before bringing up the subject of Red Wolf and the Double T. Dull Knife had already commented that she seemed eager to leave and it sadden him. She knew she would have to word it carefully.

  “Father, I feel that now, with Red Wolf being married his duty to the tribe must take precedence over the Double T. Duty comes first. I understand should you feel that too, now is the time that he should spend his time here, in preparations of leading this nation.”

  Dull Knife was quiet for a time. He stared at her for the longest time. She wondered if she’d over stepped. But knew him to be a wise man. He would see the truth in her words. That time was running out for him.

  “Daughter, you need a husband, it has been long enough.” He told her merrily. “And you are passed marrying age, if you wait much longer, I fear you will only find old men like me.” He laughingly told her. “Our land needs children, it needs a future, if you cannot find one daughter, I will be happy to find one for you from the tribe.” He told her meaningfully.

  Elizabeth wasn’t surprised. It was meant kindly and in fairness, there were a great number of healthy eligible males in the tribe. Most of them kind on the eyes and in their ways. They just weren’t ….. him. The atmosphere became very strained.

  Carl could see that Elizabeth was close to tears. No one wanted to insult Dull Knife. Carl unsure looked at Elizabeth, she was unable to say anything, and it would not have been right for White Dove to talk on her behalf.

  Dull Knife looked from one to the other. His concern becoming evident.

  Carl cleared his throat. “Sir,” he told him, “I have a great affection for your daughter and hope, in time, that she may have the same for me.” It was out of his mouth before he considered what he was saying.

  All three turned to look at him. Shock on both Elizabeth’s and White Doves faces. Dull Knife broke into a wide smile and slapped him on the back appearing satisfied that this was the reason for the strain.

  “Good.” He stated loudly. “You are a man. You understand our ways. Our tribe respects you, we would welcome you as part of our family.” And that was it, as far as Dull Knife was c
oncerned the matter was settled.

  Carl swallowed and blew out a breath. He doubted anything was settled and one look at Elizabeth told him just how much.

  “Are you completely mad.” She hissed at him the moment they were outside and on their own.

  Carl shook his head and flung out his arms. “He was going to offer you a brave Elizabeth, the man’s not well and he wants to see his daughter happy, married with a family of her own. If you’d been listening to the tribe, you’d know the rush in Red Wolf marrying was for a reason. Would you prefer, that he found someone for you?”

  He answered angrily back and continued “You weren’t in a position to answer him. He started to worry something was wrong and I didn’t want to see you in a corner, this way, you have some choice, I’m not asking you to keep to it Elizabeth, I did this to help, not make things worse.”

  He stormed off. Elizabeth watched him go. Fighting her own frustrations and pain. She hadn’t considered anyone else in what was going on. Only herself. She’d missed the bigger picture and it had taken an outsider to show her.

  “How unwell is he?” she asked White Dove.

  “I don’t know but they are singing songs for him.”

  Elizabeth turned to look at her. “Did you know this?”

  “Yes. He asked that I not tell you. He didn’t want you to worry. But his time draws nearer. “