Always

by Jessie Rose Case

  “It is uncle.” Red Wolf assured him. It satisfied them.

  He knew he would have questions from his father but he could do that later. For now, they had the answer they needed.

  News soon got around the village. Many were surprised that no celebrations had been held. It would normally be a cause for celebration, a blood bond was highly regarded. Most put it down to Elizabeth being white and traditions being different. They whispered about what warrior it was. What bride price had been accepted.

  Sky waited for Red Wolf to come back from the Council. She had heard the news that morning from an aunt of the Council of elders.

  Red Wolf entered his lodge and it was clear that she was waiting for him.

  “Esa? She questioned and waited for his answer. He had put this off and it was poorly done, not honourable to her. She shamed him. He went to her, sat with her and took her hand.

  “I have affection for you, and we have tried to make this work.” He told her.

  “But.” She cut in. “You do not love me, any more than I love you. And you could not bring myself to lay with me.” She finished for him.

  “I am sorry and do wish things were different.” He told her.

  “Don’t, it does not help. Yes we did try, you and I, we did what was asked of us,” she told him sadly. “I will go to my father and ask for a divorce, I will say that I cannot live with a childless union.”

  “They will think it is my fault?” he told her.

  “Yes they will, you will have to live with the shame of not giving me a child and I will have to live with the shame of a failed marriage. I expect, my shame will last longer than yours.” She told him sadly.

  Red Wolf left her and went to his father. He entered and sat with him.

  “Father, Sky is to divorce me.” He told him quietly.

  Dull Knife shook his head, torn between anger and happiness. Joy that his son had a chance of happiness, shame at the dishonour of having his eldest son, cast off by his wife, a man, a warrior who is to lead their tribe.

  “You will be dishonoured.” He told him.

  “Yes, and I may not be the man to lead this tribe.” Red Wolf finished.

  Red Wolf got up to leave. “Is it worth it.” His father asked him.

  “I’m sorry father, she’s worth everything.” His father knew he spoke the truth.

  “Then I am happy for you.”

  Sky moved back in with her father that evening. It was not done easily. Dull Knife had to make amends on behalf of his son. Red Wolf paid a heavy price happily. It made Sky a wealthy woman by Indian standards.

  Red Wolf was segregated from some of the tribe. Others treated him with disrespect for not doing his duty. A male that could not bring in the next generation could not give them a future. The people worried what that would mean.

  The weeks that followed were not easy. It was soon clear, that Dull Knife had no choice but to speak to both his sons.

  They came when called. “I am not well my sons.” He told them. “I have no choice, I must leave the tribe with strong leadership that will not be questioned.” He continued.

  “This give me no pleasure; I must ask you my son.” He said turning to Red Wolf. “If your life were your own, would you choose to lead this tribe or live with Esa? I fear it cannot be both.”

  Without hesitation, Red Wolf answered him, “I would choose her father, I am sorry.” Dull Knife expressed understanding sadness.

  “My son.” He said turning to Running Elk. “If your life were your own, would you choose to lead this tribe or live quietly with your wife?” He asked him.

  “I would welcome leading the tribe father with my brother’s support.” He told him.

  Dull knife nodded. “Then it is done, I will speak to the Council of elders and ask them to support a change in leadership.”

  All three men stood, Dull Knife embraced both sons one after the other. “I hope the gods and mother earth are kind to us.” He told them sadly.

  The Council agreed. Red Wolf would be free to pursue his choice in life, it was hoped that he would strengthened the ties with his family. It was done. Red Wolf stayed with his father for another week. He wanted to make sure that the village understood there were no disagreements, no resentment, no grievance, no dispute. Then he left for the Double T. The weather was not improving.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Red Wolf had gone prepared. His horse had protected leather foot wear, several blankets and enough food, a shelter and fire makings should he be kept outdoors longer than expected. He was not unduly worried; he had travelled many times in such weather. It had stopped snowing and the going would be easier. He travelled with two braves. Even a Chiefs disowned son still got protection After a couple of miles, it was clear it was going to be harder than he first thought. The terrain was deceptive, frozen hollows that looked solid ground, then gave way.

  Several times the horses lost their balance. They changed direction more than once and doubled back to go to higher harder ground. The snow drift just to deep. But going higher meant it was colder. They had not gone five miles all day, before deciding to find shelter within some trees and camp, hoping tomorrow would bring better news. It was a long cold night. The following day was not much better.

  They rode steadily throughout the day. The snow was very deep in places. As the sun went down, it was clear they had not got far. They camped and hoped for better weather. There was no game here. They rationed what they had. The sun came out next day and with it the terrain became slippery and loose. They tried to stay to the lower ground this time.

  The ground was deceptive. It looked solid but wasn’t. The snow slippery and ice deadly. They ploughed on. They lost one of the horses just before mid-day, it lost its footing and went down, Red Wolfs brave jumping just in time. The horse broke his leg and had to be put down. They were now one horse short and one man heavy. They doubled up and took turns in running and riding. By the end of day three, they were less than half way there.

  Day four, was not much better. It was slow and tough going. Both the men and horses were suffering from cold exposure it was hampering their progress. They knew the signs. They needed to make it tomorrow or they would be in serious trouble.

  Carl set out next morning to check on the higher range stock. They had some serious concerns over the condition of beef herd. He took a dozen men with him. It had started to snow again, lightly but it was laying. Carl worried. If the herd were not hardy enough, they may not survive as he’d feared and Elizabeth stood to lose the lot.

  They headed for the low-lying pasture. The men spread out but kept within eyesight of each other. He had decided to ride out for 5 hours try to check as much as possible and then make their way back. It would be a long day but might give them some positive results.

  It was harder than he’d first thought. The horses struggled with the demands of the elements. They spotted several dead cows. Half buried in snow. It did not look good.

  They were on the point of turning back when Black Dog spotted something on the horizon. Carl let him check it out and they followed.

  There fairly frozen, were Red Wolf and his men. Carl had no doubt it was a close call. Between them, they brought them safely home.

  Elizabeth stood in the doorway shocked, she ordered hot baths for everyone. Red Wolf was brought into the house and taken straight to the bathroom, Anna had run the bath having been forewarned of their coming and had all the stoves working overtime heating water. The rugs were pulled back and metal baths dragged in and filled. Fully clothed, Red Wolf was placed in it, heaters were placed in the room with him.

  Elizabeth provided warm drinks and towels. She left him, only when she was sure, he was ok, warming up and went out to check on the others. Black Dog with her. The men were getting similar treatment. Elizabeth called for more blankets and towels, heaters and for all the fires to be lit. The Indians were submerged in the hot water tubs.

  The hands in make shift baths. The horses taken to the bar
n for hot rub downs and warm blankets. Their frozen feet were wrapped. Lotions and leather wraps were put on them. Heated blankets and wraps for their legs. More heaters placed around them in the barns. It was dangerous as fire was a real possibility but if they were to survive it had to be done.

  The hands and braves took turns rubbing the horses and checking the heaters. Never leaving either alone. Elizabeth and White Dove carried hot drinks to them. They entered and it felt like a bath house. Carl and Buddy were also partially frozen; they were covered in Blankets near one of the fires. Buddy did not look too good.

  Elizabeth was very concerned. She ordered several of the feed barrels that were sealed to be emptied and filled with more hot water, she ordered them both in them. White Dove put in herbs she knew would help. It was a very long night. She went back into the house only when she was sure they were all going to be ok. White Dove stayed with them.

  Elizabeth went in to check on Red Wolf. She entered the bathroom to find him fast asleep. She changed some of the water, topping it up, and banked up the fire in the house and heater in the bathroom. She put fresh blankets over him. Opened the connecting door to the office, Black Dog helping White Dove and went to lay down. It was nearing sun rise.

  Elizabeth re-filling the bath for the next 5 hours while he slept and kept the rooms very warm. He woke with her sitting opposite him. She looked exhausted but smiled at him none the less.

  “Welcome back,” she told him so happy to see him finally awake. “Hungry?”

  Red Wolf smiled at her “Yes.” He crocked and she passed him some water. Elizabeth squeezed his arm and left to go to the kitchens. She bumped into several kitchen staff doing the same as her. Running around feeding the men.

  She took hot soup, bread, cheese and meat to him and she kept feeding him. “The men and horses?” he asked her.

  “They all made it.” Red Wolf visibly relaxed.

  She topped the water up again and he complained. She wouldn’t allow him out of the bath just yet. White Dove came by with Ty with medicine to fight the effects of the cold.

  After another hour, he begged her to let him get out of the bath and sleep in a bed. She did on the condition that the fire was kept going and that he covered up with several blankets.

  They were using every bed pan in the house to warm beds. She tucked him in like a baby.

  “Are you staying?” he asked her.

  She shook her head. “I have to check on the others, I’ll be back soon.”

  “Good, I need to tell you something.” He told her sleepily. Elizabeth nodded and went in search of her staff.

  She found them all very busy. Elizabeth crossed the yard and entered the bunk house. The men were out of the tubs and in warm blankets. “How’s it going?” she asked White Dove.

  “Everyone’s ok, they will be fine. They were lucky.” Elizabeth offered up a silent prayer. She went to see Carl. “How are you feeling?”

  “Cold and tired. Hungry.” He smiled at her.

  “Good, then your still with us.” She told him patting his arm. Elizabeth called to the staff, plenty of food and drink, plenty of warmth and no one goes outside for anything, the animals were housed and would be ok for a day or two.

  Elizabeth went back to the house and checked on Red Wolf, he was already asleep. She left him and fell asleep in her own room exhausted. When she woke, sometime later, she was not alone. Red Wolf lay beside her, his arms wound tightly around her. It was so welcome she didn’t have the heart to question it now, she had nearly lost him, that in itself, was too much to think about. She went back to sleep.

  Morning came early, and Elizabeth unwound herself from his embrace. She left her room and went to her toilette. She washed and cleaned herself up. Realising she’d taken off clothes that she’d been in for the past two days, they were not clean and everything seemed to be too small.

  Elizabeth quietly came back to her room and went through her wardrobe pulling out trousers that would not do up. She was getting more and more frustrated.

  “Try the buckskins.” Red Wolf told her rising from the bed. Elizabeth turned to him smiling.

  “Good morning.” Red Wolf pulled open a draw and handed her the buckskins they tied at the waist.

  “They will fit and move with you.” He told her going back and checking the others in her wardrobe.

  “How many do you have?” he asked her

  “Three.” She told him amused.

  “I’ll speak to White Dove about getting some more.” He told her and left the room. Elizabeth sat there, not sure what that was all about. He was right, the buckskins fitted better and did move with her. Elizabeth went to look in on White Dove.

  She was asleep. Something caught her eye in the corner, Ty was asleep in the chair. Subconsciously he must have known she was there, he stirred and looked first at White Dove then the door. When he saw Elizabeth, he got up and came to her. They closed the door behind him.

  Elizabeth waited for an explanation. Ty stood before her clearly not sure how to explain it.

  “Mam, I can assure you, nothing improper happened in there.” He told her indicating the bedroom.

  Elizabeth remained silent. “She would not rest, I asked her too several times, but she would not leave, I practically had to drag her up here and the only way to keep her in there was to stay.” He told her. Elizabeth smiled.

  “Ty, White Dove is my cousin, she was married young, to my Uncle. It was a love match and she has been a widow for more than six months. If your intentions are not for life, you should stay away from her.” She told him honestly.

  Ty nodded. “I’m not sure I can,” he replied.

  “Then, be sure, as her family, would be unforgiving.” She warned him as they both descended the stairs.

  Red Wolf was checking on his men. No one injured, no one dead. That was good. Carl caught his eye and he went over.

  “Not a good time to come visiting?” Carl told him good naturedly. Red Wolf gave a resigned look.

  “No choice.” He told him. The call to breakfast sounded out. Both men headed into the house. Elizabeth was already at the table tucking in.

  “Everything ok?” She asked them as Jake came in behind them.

  “Just fine.” Jake told her and kissed her on the cheek. “We were lucky.” It had stopped snowing in the night, when the sun came up, it seemed the worse was over.

  Elizabeth asked about the trip out and the stock. Carl repeated what he had seen. It was not good. Elizabeth looked worried. Carl offered to go out scouting again. Elizabeth rejected it.

  “I want feed put out in all the pastures,” she told him. “Let’s keep feeding them, even if we can’t see them.” They had nothing to lose. Elizabeth did not offer to go out with them, she stayed around the house. The winds had dropped, and the sun stayed out. The snow melted.

  Each day the men came back late, and they fed them. Sometimes with a sighting of the stock but mostly not. The animal shelters had been stocked before the worse weather hit and were still under snow. The weather was defiantly improving. They’d have to start digging out soon.

  Elizabeth had taken to wearing the buckskins, they were the only thing that fitted her.

  “Feeling alright?” White Dove asked her late one evening sitting in front of the fire.

  “Yes, I’m fine, I feel a little tired, but I guess it’s been tougher than I expected.”

  “When did you last have your woman’s time Elizabeth?” White Dove asked her.

  Elizabeth blinked, she hadn’t thought on it for……… and then it hit her. She could not remember.

  “Dear god.” Elizabeth froze and put her hand to her mouth. It started to shake. She could not remember.

  “You are having a child Esa.” White Dove told her kindly.

  “No.” Elizabeth told her, that cannot be possible. “I can’t.” She told her.

  “Can’t?” White Dove repeated, understanding Elizabeth’s shock.

  “I think, mother earth has other idea
s.”

  Elizabeth closed her eyes and leant back in her chair. Of course, it was possible, what a stupid thing to say. Had she not begged him for just that, she remembered.

  “Does he know?” Elizabeth asked her. Already having her answer.

  “Do you want the child Esa?” White Dove asked her.

  “I yes, and what choice do I have?” She told her. Rose and went to her room.

  She couldn’t sleep. She was restless. Dear god, a child. How had she ignored the signs? She was not a stupid woman. She knew about life and creating it. Yet, she had still begged him for this. Why had she not considered it possible? It kept going over and over in her mind. She paced the room.

  Elizabeth sat for a while and paced again. She tried to sleep but to no avail. The knock at the door, did not come unexpected. She knew he would hear her awake. She chose to ignore him. Elizabeth heard him call her name, ask her to let him in, told her they needed to talk. She said nothing and eventually he went away.

  What was there to say, she thought, he had a wife and now, she thought again, he, they, would have a child or even worse, if that were possible, he may think it to be someone else’s. That thought stayed with her.

  Someone else’s child, if he thought that, maybe it would settle the problem, she reasoned. If it were not his, he would not be torn between her and the tribe. It might work, she reasoned and he would have to let her go after all. Could she do it? She wondered. Could she tell him she had been with another man?