Be What Love Is

by Malouff, Ellie

  Dinner is served, and like everything else about the gala, it’s drawn out and lavish. It begins with little finger foods and champagne, and then a course called amuse-bouche that is some sort of lobster and foam concoction. I don’t care for it at all, so I take the opportunity to excuse myself from the table and visit the silent auction area.

  It takes me a few minutes, but eventually, I find the one I have in mind for Reid. Looking over my shoulder, I make sure he’s not watching me, and for once he’s not. Thankfully, there are only two bids for the Veneto trip. The highest is at two thousand. I grab the pen and scribble £3,000 on the next line and bite my lip. It’s a crazy feeling to have money like this. It’s not normal for me at all, and I’m freaking out a little bit about it.

  I get back to the table just in time to pick a starter. I take a chance on a goat’s cheese mousse, roasted butternut squash, and salad, which turns out to be much better. The meal goes on with a lemon sorbet palate cleanser, and then fork tender fillet of beef. Everything is divine, except the conversation, because out of the blue, Victoria asks, “So Cara, when are you going home?”

  Reid sets down his fork and looks first at Victoria and then at me.

  All eyes are on me as I formulate my answer. “It’s hard to say at this point since we have more work to do at Canterwood Manor. I’m not exactly sure.”

  “Are you making good progress?” Evan asks, suddenly paying attention again.

  Reid doesn’t provide back up in any way. Perhaps he’s curious about my perception on it. “Yeah, I think so,” I tell them and add, “I’m sure I’ll be headed back to California very soon and leave you all to this lavish life.”

  Victoria flashes a cunning smile and takes a generous sip of her red wine. I’m sure she will be pleased to have me out of the picture so she can get her boyfriend back. I can’t blame her, but it would be nice if she showed a little bit of tact. I glance at Reid. I’d like to understand why he looks crestfallen.

  After dessert, Anjanette returns to the microphone and introduces Dr. Amin who goes on to speak to us about the current state of children’s immunization in underdeveloped regions and war-torn nations. A lot of progress has been made, but there’s still so much work to do.

  “Thank you so much for your belief in this cause and your generosity. I’m not the only one who wishes to thank you,” she finishes with a sly smile, and a video begins. It’s a montage of children from all over the world saying thank you in their native language. They all have big beautiful smiles, and I get teary at the sight of them. Their healthy little faces are all the inspiration I need to know that I’ll be a C.I.C. donor, just like my grandfather. Wealth is a blessing, but it’s also a responsibility, and it should be shared to help those most in need. My life has changed significantly in the past weeks. I have so much to learn.

  Dr. Amin wraps up her speech and receives a standing ovation. The band reappears, and we have a chance to mingle and check out the silent auction.

  I’ve been outbid on the Veneto trip a couple of times, so I go above and beyond the previous bid and write down £5,500. Now that I’m in, I want to win it for Reid.

  Speaking of, I spy him standing near the stage, talking to Anjanette and to an event staff member holding a clipboard. He looks around the room and spots me. Shit. I don’t want him to know what I’m up to. He starts walking toward me, so I hurry up to meet him halfway.

  He gives me a curious look, but I cut it off right away. “Is it time to go on?”

  “Yes, are you ready?”

  I let out a big breath. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” I say and follow him back to where he came from. We meet up with Anjanette and the event coordinator, Maggie, to get instructions about our Trevor and Anna tribute.

  “So, Anjanette will call you both on stage,” Maggie explains, “and you will each have an opportunity to speak about Trevor and Anna. Please try to talk about their dedication to C.I.C. After that, Reid will introduce the in memoriam video. Stay on stage, and after it’s over, please encourage people to continue their work.” We nod in unison. “Oh, and don’t forget to mention Anna’s jewelry in the silent auction. That would be a brilliant ending.”

  “Right,” Reid assures us and buttons the top button of his tuxedo jacket. I hope I have it down. My stomach is clenching tightly, and there’s an embarrasing amount of sweat beading on my neck, beneath my hair. He leans over and whispers, “Just speak from your heart, like at the funeral.”

  “But you hated that,” I remind him.

  “I know, but this is different.”

  “How so?”

  “This is their family. This is their church. They were loved here. Bonus, everyone is sloshed.”

  “I’m not,” I retort.

  “Liar,” he buzzes in my ear and looks me in the eye. Warmth rushes through me, from my heart to the apex of my thighs. Okay, maybe I have a small buzz, but hopefully only Reid can tell.

  The band wraps up another tune and Anjanette goes back on stage.

  “The Smooth Stylers, everyone,” she says, and there’s the usual polite applause. “All right ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid we’re shifting to a more somber moment. As you know, tonight’s gala is dedicated to the memory of Trevor and Anna Montgomery, two of C.I.C.’s most substantial donors and dedicated volunteers. I got to know the two of them well in my tenure with C.I.C., and I was very honored to call them friends,” she shares and is a little choked up.

  My own throat tightens. I have to push my flurry of emotions down until after we are done.

  “I’d like to invite two very special guests on stage to speak about our friends that left us much too soon. Please help me welcome Mr. Reid Lewis and Miss Cara Montgomery.”

  The crowd applauds as I follow Reid up the few steps to join Anjanette on stage. She gives us each a brief embrace and a fancy cheek kiss. I look out over the crowd and gulp. Thankfully, they’re smiling at us.

  “Good evening,” Reid begins, and I transform into the role of smiling sidekick. “Here we are again at the annual gala. Another year, another wonderful event, and another opportunity to help children throughout the world acquire vaccinations. Everything about it is familiar and grand, except it’s not,” he says and cracks a sad smile.

  “We are missing people that lived for this cause. You see, C.I.C. wasn’t just a fluffy charity that Trevor and Anna occasionally donated money to, nor was it just a social outlet to see their dear friends. Yes they donated money, yes they loved to see all of you, but it was the mission of C.I.C. that drove their spirit, that guided their actions, and inspired their journeys to remote villages across the world for vaccination drives.”

  They did that? I had no idea.

  “I miss them,” he shares, and my heart constricts. It’s the first time I’ve seen him really express emotion about their passing. “Trevor and Anna took me in when I didn’t have much going for me,” he tells the crowd, and I’m shocked that he’s going there. It’s so unlike him to let his guard down.

  “And over the last several years they taught me two important lessons, and one of those was that true wealth was defined by what you give back. Trevor always loved this quote by our esteemed Prime Minister Winston Churchill, ‘What is the use of living, if it not be to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?’”

  Reid pauses to let that sink in for a moment. “Trevor and Anna really believed that. And even in death, they made one last major contribution from their estate to the cause they loved so much,” he reveals, and the crowd applauds loudly.

  “It is my honor to be accompanied by this lovely young woman, Trevor’s granddaughter, Miss Cara Montgomery. She’d like to say a few words about her grandfather,” he says and steps aside for me to speak. I have no idea what I’m going to say, I don’t have any special quotations memorized, and I don’t know a thing about their work with the C.I.C.

  Before I can say a word, I’m startled by a photog
rapher’s flashbulb.

  I call on my courage to start speaking in hopes that something halfway relevant and intelligible comes out. “Thank you, Reid. Hi, I’m Cara Montgomery, and Trevor was my grandfather.” Tell them something they don’t know.

  I dig deep into my memory and fortunately find something to share. “I lived with my grandfather until I was seven and I’m not sure if he was involved with C.I.C. during that time since I was more preoccupied with tea parties, but I can share a special memory I have about him.

  “When I was a kid I would always beg him to tell me a goodnight story. He always said yes, probably because he was a great storyteller.”

  A lot of the people in the room start nodding and laughing as if they know exactly what I’m talking about.

  “One of his favorite ones to tell was Aesop’s Fable Androcles. If you’re not familiar, it’s about a runaway slave named Androcles and a lion that struck an unlikely friendship. Androcles helped heal the lion’s paw. In return, the lion sheltered him and brought him meat so he wouldn’t go hungry. One day they were caught by Androcles’ former master and pitted against each other in the emperor’s arena as punishment. The lion was intentionally starved so his attack would be especially brutal. When they let the lion loose on Androcles, the lion ran toward him hungry and ready to rip into him.” I lift up my hands like a lion ready to pounce and roar into the microphone, just like my grandfather used to do. Most of the audience chuckles at that, and from the corner of my eye, I catch Reid beaming at me.

  “But when the lion got closer and saw that it was his friend, he stopped and licked his hands like a dog would. The emperor was so impressed that he freed Androcles and let the lion go back to his home in the forest, where they both lived happily ever after.”

  Everyone claps at the happy ending, and I giggle at the reaction. I still love that old fable.

  “And that was my grandfather in a nutshell, a man who wouldn’t have turned his back on the injured lion, even though it was risky and inconvenient. He knew the power of friendship and that one’s true worth was measured by the value of their soul.”

  My throat clenches. I tell myself to keep it together just a little bit longer. I glance at Reid, and he gives me a nod to go ahead and introduce the video.

  “Let’s take a look back at Trevor and Anna and their involvement in C.I.C.”

  Reid and I watch together, side-by-side, with my bare shoulder kissing the fine fabric of his tuxedo jacket. The video fades in with pictures of their lives together and their work with C.I.C. It shows them in remote villages and dressed up for the galas. I can’t deny that they looked very happy together and in the back of my head, I can hear my mother spitting vile words about them. A knot forms deep in my abdomen, and I clutch my middle. Conflict is brewing within me as tears slip down my face at the loss of their lives, and of their love.

  “Are you all right? Can you go on?” Reid asks.

  I pull myself together and wipe away the tears as the video wraps up. “Yes, I’m fine.”

  He looks at me square on. “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  We turn back to the crowd, and I let him take the lead.

  “Trevor and Anna will forever be remembered for helping people that they didn’t even get the chance to know. We all have the opportunity to follow in their footsteps through C.I.C.

  “Tonight, as part of the silent auction, we have donated many pieces of jewelry that were handmade by Anna. Both Cara and I know that Anna would want these pieces to go to her dear friends and raise money for the cause that was dearest to her heart.”

  Reid glances over at me. It’s my turn to speak.

  “I have the honor of wearing one of those pieces.” I sweep my hair back and show off the necklace. Reid admires the piece with a crooked smile as I show it off. I truly do love it and love that he bought it for me instead of just yanking it from the collection. Based on the look on his face and the heavy droop of his eyelids, he’s happy about that too. “Please check them out. They are stunning.”

  Reid concludes our time on stage. “Thank you so much for loving Trevor and Anna as much as we did.”

  The audience gives us a warm round of applause. As we leave the stage, we’re greeted by lots of people I don’t know, but Reid does. They all introduce themselves to me as friends of Trevor and Anna and give us hugs. It’s the warmth that was lacking at the funeral, and I’m relieved. My grandfather was so loved by his friends.

  The music starts up, and couples begin to dance again. It’s Nat’s version of There Will Never Be Another You.

  “Dance with me?” Reid asks to my surprise. I look around for Victoria but don’t see her. I glimpse Evan off charming another young woman. We’re alone.

  “Okay,” I reply in a quiet voice.

  Warm tingles go up my arm when he takes my hand and leads me onto the dance floor. He pulls me into his arms, and I have to catch my breath as every nerve ending in my body comes alive. Our hands are closed together at his heart while we sway to the music, taking slow, little steps because that is all I am capable of doing.

  “You were brilliant,” he says near my ear. “Did he really tell you that fable?”

  I lean back and look up into his eyes. “Yes, he did.”

  He shakes his head as if in disbelief and smiles sweetly at me. I’m mesmerized, and a part of me really believes that he is too. Our eyes meet, and I can’t make myself look away. His hand glides up my back and pulls me closer to him.

  Reid’s eyes grow darker as his smile fades. “You said earlier that you’ll go back to California soon. Do you have a date in mind?”

  “No, not yet. How much longer do think we’ll be at this?”

  He doesn’t answer right away, but looks away from me and slowly spins us around.

  “Let’s take it one day at a time,” he finally answers and meets my eyes again.

  I nod in agreement, but I’m totally confused because I have no idea how to read him. Most of the time he can’t wait to get back to his normal life. But every now and again, I have a feeling that he doesn’t want our time together to be over.

  Reid holds me close, and we move in sync during the interlude. “You’re so beautiful, Cara,” he murmurs, and I close my eyes as I absorb his words. This is not okay. Not even a little bit. He’s with someone, and I came with someone else. He shouldn’t be so close to me, and he shouldn’t be saying things like this to me. I should be stopping all of this, but I’m weak for him, so I don’t.

  I’m forced to come back down to earth when the song ends. We let go of each other and clap along with everyone else. The sizzle is still lingering between us, and we’re having trouble looking at anything but each other.

  But like a frigid wave of water, Victoria crashes into us and extinguishes our moment. “Reid, there you are,” she says and pulls at his arm. “Shall we dance?”

  Reid looks at me. I’m not sure what kind of face I’m making, but I imagine it’s a good mix of fear and loathing, with a hefty side of guilt.

  He hesitates. “Sure.” They start to dance to There Goes My Heart, and I roll my eyes at the band’s uncanny way of playing a fitting song for every moment. Seriously?

  I’m not alone for long. Evan pops up, and without asking, sweeps me into his arms for the dance. I go with it, mostly because I’m still cracked open and don’t have my wits at all. Victoria and Reid are in my eye line, so I don’t have much choice but to watch as she tenderly touches his face and gives him the most obvious sex eyes I’ve ever seen. It’s like someone snatched my bag of Halloween candy and ran down the street, laughing all the way. As terrible as it is, I can’t stop watching. She rests her head on his shoulder and looks over at me, smirking as if to say he’s mine.

  Message received.

  “Want to get some fresh air?” I ask Evan.

  Surprise registers on his face, and he smiles. “Absolutely, I know a perfect spot.

  He takes me by the hand and leads me off the dance floor. I for
ce myself not to look back at Reid and Victoria.

  Chapter Twelve

  Sense

  Reid

  Victoria, metaphorically and physically, has her claws dug into me.

  When will this bloody song end?

  I desperately want to get back to Cara. It’s killing me that she’s dancing with Evan. He’s officially her date, I understand that, but everything in me is screaming that she’s mine and I have no interest in sharing.

  “Where’s your mind at?” Victoria asks. “You’re acting so odd.”

  “I’ve got a lot going on, is all,” I answer and turn us around so I can spy on Cara dancing. But she’s not there, and neither is Evan.

  At first, I feel an immense amount of relief, but it’s fleeting. My expression must be very telling because Victoria cuts right through me. “If you’re looking for Cara, I saw her leave with Evan.”

  “Leave?” I ask with more panic in my voice than I care to admit.

  Victoria tightens her grip on me. She asks, with far too much disdain in her voice, “What is it that you like about her?”

  Instead of answering the question, I detach myself from her.

  “Wait, hold on,” she says and wraps her arms around my waist.

  “What?”

  “You know, if you’re just looking for a good screw, we could come up with some kind of arrangement,” she offers with a raised eyebrow.

  “Vickie, please,” I hush her, trying to reinstate some sense of decorum.

  In a rapid whisper, she goes on, “Cara is a silly girl that has nothing at all to offer you. Nothing like what I bring to the table. I’ve got experience in ways she doesn’t.”

  My head shakes as I start to protest, but she stops it by putting two fingers against my lips. “You see, I can do things for you, things you’ve only considered in your deepest, darkest fantasies.”