Love Me Like You Won't Let Go

by Toppen, Melissa

  By the time we take our seats it’s nearing seven-thirty. Tyler makes a brief speech, thanking everyone for coming before announcing that dinner will be served shortly. He joins Sarah, Derek, and me at the table just as the servers start to file into the room carrying large silver trays.

  We spend dinner making easy conversation. In addition to Sarah and Derek, our table consists of the head of the foundation, Barry White, and his wife, Carol, along with a handful of Tyler’s other co-workers. Like I usually do with these events, I spend most of my time listening to others talk rather than taking part in the conversation.

  Once we’ve finished our meals, Tyler kisses my temple before excusing himself from the table. He is in charge of running the event, which means he gets to stand at the podium for the next hour and list off all the items up for auction. This is usually my least favorite part of the night.

  Tyler is only on the second bid item of the night when I decide to excuse myself to the ladies’ room, having drank a glass of wine too many at dinner.

  Weaving my way through the cluster of tables spread out through the room, I make it out into the hallway before locating the bathroom off to the right.

  I’ve just stepped inside when my phone starts vibrating in my purse. Deciding to let it go to voicemail without looking at who it is, I quickly slip into a stall.

  I’ve just finished using the restroom and am busy washing my hands when my cell phone starts vibrating again. Tearing off a paper towel from the dispenser, I dry my hands before digging into my small clutch purse to retrieve my phone.

  I don’t recognize the number flashing across the screen, but before I can find out who it is, the call ends. My phone now signaling two missed calls – both from the same number.

  I’m considering calling the number back, thinking it might be a customer trying to reach me to place an order, since my cell phone number is on the flower shop’s business cards, when my phone buzzes back to life in my hand, the same number flashing across the screen once more.

  “Hi, this is Blakely,” I answer professionally.

  “B, it’s Mary. Thank goodness you answered.” My friend sounds winded.

  “Mary, where are you calling me from?”

  “The hotel. My cell died a little bit ago. Listen, I know you’re at an event with Tyler tonight, but Asher’s here in the hotel bar and he’s pretty wasted. I tried to convince him to go to his room but he refuses. He’s in a real state right now. I hate to throw this on you but I didn’t know who else to call.”

  “What do you expect me to do?” I question, my stomach lurching at the sound of Asher’s name.

  “I don’t know. I was hoping maybe you could come here, talk some sense into him.”

  “I’m in Huntington. It would take me at least an hour to get there. And even if I did come, I doubt it would do any good.”

  “God, I know. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you. I just didn’t know who else to call. I have no idea if he kept in contact with any of his old friends or how to even reach them if he did.”

  “No, it’s fine,” I interject, instantly feeling guilty for reasons I don’t fully understand. Maybe it’s because I know Asher has no one else and the thought doesn’t sit well with me. “Give me an hour.”

  Mary blows out a hard breath.

  “Thank you, B. I owe you one.”

  “Yes, you do,” I tell her, quickly ending the call.

  Knowing I can’t interrupt Tyler in the middle of the auction, I head directly to Sarah, crouching down next to her the moment I reach her.

  “I’ve got to go. Something’s come up. Will you tell Tyler I’ll see him at home later and not to worry?” I keep my voice low.

  “Of course. Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, it’s fine. Just something I need to take care of.”

  “Okay. Do you need me to give you a ride? Didn’t you and Tyler ride together?”

  “We did but that’s okay. I’ll call an Uber,” I say, even though I know it will likely cost me an arm and a leg.

  “Okay.” She nods, watching me curiously.

  “Thank you.” I straighten back up, looking at Tyler one last time before heading for the door.

  Chapter Nine

  Asher

  “Give me another,” I tell the bartender, sliding my empty glass across the bar toward him.

  “Sorry, brother. No can do,” the middle aged man says, shaking his head as he retrieves my glass and slides it into the sink behind the bar.

  “What do you mean no can do?” I slur, but I’m too far gone to really care.

  Being back in this town has really messed me up. It’s brought up a lot of demons I thought I’d escaped. Turns out they’ve just been waiting for me all this time. It started with Blakely and has only spiraled from there. I know I was the one who left, but I had no idea that when I finally came home I would have absolutely no one.

  My two closest friends have both moved away and the friends I had that are still here aren’t what I would even call friends. More like acquaintances. People I used to party with from time to time when we were in high school.

  I’ve been on my own for over six years but it took me coming home to truly see just how alone I am.

  “Just one more.” I turn my attention back to the bartender, tapping the top of the bar.

  “Can’t help you, man.”

  “Why the fuck not?”

  “Talk to her?” He points to the left and I swivel in my stool to see Mary enter the bar, Blakely directly behind her.

  I damn near fall out of my seat at the sight of B crossing the room toward me. It isn’t until the two women reach me that I see the anger on her face, but even then I can’t fight the urge to smile.

  “B,” I slur, swaying slightly.

  “Come on.” She snags my arm and helps me to my feet.

  “Are you really here?” I reach out to touch her face but she swats my hand away.

  “Are you good here? Do I need to pay for anything?” she asks Mary who shakes her head before sliding a room key into her hand. “All taken care of. He’s staying in room fifteen.”

  “Thanks,” Blakely says to her friend before leading me out of the bar. It’s not the easiest task. I didn’t realize how drunk I was until right now. I stumble and trip several times as we make our way outside.

  “I knew you couldn’t stay away,” I tell her, smiling down at her like an idiot.

  “You didn’t really give me much of a choice now, did you?” she scolds, unlinking her arm with mine as she leans me against the wall. I watch as she slides the room key into the lock and pushes the door open. “Come on.” She reaches for me again, allowing me to drop my arm over her shoulder as she guides me into the room.

  “You’re pretty,” I tell her, stepping directly in front of her.

  “And you’re drunk.” She shakes her head, guiding me backward.

  “Maybe I am,” I agree. “But you’re still pretty.”

  “How much did you drink?” She turns, shutting the door. I sway to the side and she reappears just in time to keep me upright.

  “Too much?” I phrase it as a question.

  “I think that’s a fair assessment.”

  “I knew you’d come.”

  “I’m only here because Mary couldn’t get you to leave the bar.”

  “Uh huh,” I slur, wrapping my arms around her shoulders.

  “Walk,” she orders, backing me further into the room.

  The backs of my legs hit the bed seconds before I collapse on top of the thick comforter. I attempt to take Blakely down with me, but she manages to slip out of my grasp at the last second.

  “Come here, B.” I reach my arms upward. “Come lay with me.”

  “I think I’ll pass.” She quickly steps away.

  Pressing up onto my elbows, I see her slide into the chair in the corner of the room.

  “You can’t stay mad at me forever.” I drop back down onto the pillow, my eyes feeling too heavy to ke
ep open.

  “Watch me.”

  It’s the last thing I hear her say before everything fades to black.

  ——

  I open my eyes, the sun pouring into the room through the open blinds making it impossible to keep them open for long. I groan, rolling to my side as a wave of nausea washes over me.

  I haven’t been drunk in a long time. If the pounding in my head is any indication, I’d say I showed very little restraint last night.

  I attempt to open my eyes again, blinking several times before the room starts to come into focus. That’s when I see her... Blakely.

  She’s curled up in the chair, her legs tucked partially beneath her as she sleeps. My chest aches at the sight of her and I struggle to piece together how it is that she’s here right now.

  I remember sitting at the bar last night. I remember talking to Mary at some point. But that’s where my memory starts to become fuzzy.

  I cringe as I sit up, the pounding in my head intensifying tenfold.

  The bed creaks under my weight causing Blakely to stir. It’s only seconds before her dark eyes flutter open and land on mine.

  “Morning,” I say, my voice hoarse.

  She slides her feet onto the floor and sits upright, drawing my attention to the dress she’s wearing. She’s so beautiful it damn near takes my breath away. Her long hair lays in thick waves around her shoulders and she has a small imprint on her cheek from the seam of the chair.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask when she doesn’t respond.

  “You don’t remember?” She clears her throat, her voice thick with sleep.

  I shake my head, not really sure if I want to know. If I was so drunk that I don’t remember her being here, then I think it’s safe to say I likely managed to make a complete ass of myself.

  “Mary called me last night. She was worried about you when you refused to leave the bar. She didn’t know who else to call.”

  “So you came here?”

  “What else was I supposed to do?” She blows out a frustrated breath. “I couldn’t very well leave you here for Mary to take care of.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because you’re not her problem.”

  “But I’m yours?” I cock my head to the side.

  “It would appear so.” She pushes to a stand and begins gathering her things.

  “Why did you stay? Why not leave as soon as you got me back to the room?” I call after her as she turns toward the door.

  “I needed to make sure you were going to be okay. With as much as you drank it’s a wonder you didn’t end up with alcohol poisoning.” She grabs her shoes next to the door and slides them on one at a time.

  “B,” I start, but she quickly cuts me off.

  “Let me make one thing very clear, Asher.” She turns to face me, pulling in a deep breath before continuing, “I did this for Mary, not you. And if you pull something like this again, I won’t be here to clean up after you.”

  “And yet you stayed,” I remind her.

  “To make sure you didn’t die.”

  “Which means you at least care a little bit,” I point out.

  “Of course I care.” She fights back the emotion I can see welling behind the tough exterior she’s trying to hold in place. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you show up here and completely upend my life. I had to leave in the middle of Tyler’s fundraiser to come here last night. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Not to mention how the hell I’ll explain it to him once I get home. But you don’t care, do you? You don’t care about anyone but yourself, Asher. You made that clear six years ago when you ran away and never looked back.”

  “I didn’t run away.” I swing my legs over the side of the bed and quickly stand.

  “I don’t care what you call it. You left,” she bites. It’s clear to see the wound I cut runs a hell of a lot deeper than I anticipated.

  “I left. But I’m back now and if you’d just give me some time to explain. Maybe you will understand.” I take a step toward her.

  She holds her hands up and I freeze, realizing it’s probably better to keep my distance.

  “I don’t want to understand, Asher. I don’t want anything from you except for you to disappear the same way you did six years ago.”

  “You don’t mean that. If you did you wouldn’t have come here last night. You wouldn’t have stayed.”

  “Don’t try to make this into something it’s not.”

  “B, please.”

  “If you care about me, Asher, if you ever truly cared about me, then you will leave me alone. You’ve already ruined my life once; don’t do it a second time.” With that, she storms out of the room, leaving the reality of her words to cut daggers straight through me long after she’s gone.

  ——

  “He lives.” Mary smiles when I open the door of my motel room to see her extend a cup of coffee in my direction.

  “What are you doing here?” I grumble, sliding my shirt over my damp hair before taking the cup from her hand.

  “I wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. I felt kind of bad after what happened last night.” She slides past me into the room.

  “What happened last night?” I ask, dropping down on the edge of the bed before taking a tentative sip of the hot coffee.

  “You don’t remember?” She gives me a funny look before taking the seat Blakely occupied less than an hour ago.

  “If I did I wouldn’t have asked,” I grumble, instantly feeling like an asshole for taking my frustrations out on her. “Sorry, rough morning,” I quickly apologize.

  “No worries. I figured you probably felt like crap after how much you drank.”

  “So what happened last night?” I redirect back to my original question.

  “You got pretty wasted at the bar. At one point I tried to get you to go back to your room but you refused. You were yelling at people across the bar and managed to break two tumblers before we finally cut you off.”

  “So you called Blakely.”

  She gives me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know who else to call and you wouldn’t come with me. I couldn’t leave you there causing a scene. The manager would have ended up calling the police and having you arrested.”

  “So I guess I should thank you then.” I take another drink of the coffee, the second sip going down a lot smoother than the first.

  “Of course once B got here you didn’t hesitate leaving with her, which I knew you wouldn’t. I waited until she got you back to your room before heading home. I assume she left after that.”

  “She stayed,” I say, watching Mary’s eyes widen at my words.

  “Please tell me you didn’t...”

  “Nothing happened,” I cut her off. “She slept where you’re sitting. Said she needed to make sure I was okay before she left.”

  “I should have known,” she says, more to herself than to me. “Did you two get a chance to talk at all?”

  “If by talk you mean she told me to get the hell out of her life, then yeah, we talked.” I balance the cup on my leg above my knee, picking at a loose piece of Styrofoam next to the lid.

  “She’s still pretty upset,” Mary says, understanding in her eyes.

  “I guess she has a right to be.” I blow out a hard breath.

  “She does,” Mary agrees. “But she’s also using that anger as a shield. You hurt her so bad, Asher. If you could have seen her after you left. She was a mess for a really long time. It wasn’t until Tyler came into her life that she started acting like the old Blakely again. You can’t blame her for having her guard up.”

  “Can I ask you something?” I pause for a long moment before finally finding the right words. “Do you think I stand a chance?”

  “With Blakely?” she asks, watching my slow nod. “Honestly, I don’t know. I know she loves Tyler. He’s good for her and he makes her happy. But I also know that he’s never been able to fill the void you left in her life. No one has.
She may never admit this to you or to anyone for that matter, but I think a part of her has been waiting for you to come back all along.”

  “I didn’t get that impression from her this morning.”

  “Again, she’s hiding behind her anger. It’s easier than letting you back in. I don’t know what the future holds, Asher. But I do know if you’re serious about getting her back, you better be sure this time. Tyler makes her happy. Don’t mess that up because you’re too selfish to let someone else have her.”

  “I came back for her before I even knew there was a Tyler,” I argue. “This isn’t about her being with someone else. I was always coming back for her.”

  “That may be so, but it doesn’t change the fact that you were gone six years. You want my advice?” she asks, pushing to a stand. “Try to be her friend again. You were friends before anything else, after all. Maybe start there rather than coming at her guns blazing. You have to understand how confusing this probably is for her. You need to be patient and give her time to figure out what she wants. And if at the end of the day it’s Tyler, you need to respect her decision.”

  “Where are you going?” I ask as she crosses the room and pulls open the door.

  “I’m gonna be late for my shift,” she says, and only then do I realize she’s dressed in her uniform. “But I’ll be around if you need to talk. I’m just guessing here, but it seems like maybe you could use a friend.”

  “Do I seem that desperate?” I joke.

  “Only a little.” She winks, throwing me a small wave before disappearing outside, pulling the door closed behind her.