Forgetting Paige: (The Paige Diaries #3)

by D. K Lake

  "What will you tell him?"

  I look at him confused.

  "About us?" he clarifies.

  "Um...I don't know yet."

  "Paige! Open. The. Door."

  "Okay, okay!" I call.

  "Paige, wait." Maverick tries to stop me but I tug the door open before he can do anything, and he bumps into me from behind.

  Dario takes one look at me, then his eyes dart to Maverick, then back to me again.

  "What the fuck?" he barks.

  "I can explain..." I start.

  "Are you kidding me right now?" Dario gestures to my half-dressed state.

  I had almost forgotten I'm only wearing a pair of panties and a t-shirt.

  Dario utters something, then swiftly walks away.

  "Rio, wait!" I call, changing direction to go back inside and grab my clothes, then decide there's no time and turn around again.

  "Paige, just leave him." Maverick insists, I ignore him and chase after Dario.

  "I can explain!" I say quickly, running up beside him.

  "Don't bother." Dario gruffs.

  "Rio, please," I grab onto his arm and hold on tight, and he eventually comes to a standstill.

  "What the fuck, Paige?" He waves his hand in the direction of my dorm room.

  "I don't know," I say honestly. "He called me when I was in Nebraska, and then when I got back, he was waiting for me."

  "That doesn't explain why you're dressed like that. Did you fuck him?"

  I jump at the tone of his voice. A door opens behind me and two girls stick their heads out to be nosy.

  I know how this looks. I'm not dressed, and most people know I'm that girl. You know, sex tape Paige.

  "We talked-" I start to say, although my face says it all. Dario has always been able to read me.

  "And fucked." he finishes for me.

  "Stop it. I'm trying to explain."

  "This is bullshit after everything he did to you. Or have you forgotten?"

  "Of course I haven't forgotten. But it's not that simple."

  "Have you been dropping acid? Of course it's that simple! He used you to get back at me in some twisted game of revenge. How can you just forget all that?"

  "I haven't forgotten," I lower my voice as we now have an audience. "But these past three months have been..."

  "What? What have they been like, Paige, huh? Tell me, what on earth possessed you to jump back into bed with that creep?"

  I shake my head. I hate it when he yells at me.

  "I don't...I don't know."

  "You don't know?"

  I close my eyes for a moment and a tear slips down my cheek.

  "You know why?" I cry.

  "Remind me."

  "I love him!" I admit in a shaky voice.

  "He's using you. What's to say this isn't all a game to him?"

  "It's not. He loves me."

  "He's not the only one. Or have you forgotten already? Did last week mean nothing to you?"

  "No, I meant it when I said I loved you, I still do, but this is such a mess and I can't please everyone."

  "No, but you can fuck everyone." he hisses. "So, what? He just crawls back out of the woodwork, playing the dead brother card," he says, his words stinging like acid. He must have been coming to find me to tell me about Ethan, but I already knew. "Let me guess how this goes and you tell me if I get it wrong? He gives you some story about missing you and tells you that he messed up, that he loves you, wants you back, that he won't fuck it up again, and then you let him stick his dick in you and now everything is back to normal. Am I close?"

  "Fuck you. Nothing is normal," I spit.

  "Actually, no, this feels pretty fucking normal. You tossing me aside again so you can run off with someone else. Is that all I am to you, P? Something you can just throw away when something new and shiny comes along?" he growls. "I thought you had more brain cells than to go back to him. I'm so fucked in the head when it comes to you. I thought you felt the same way...I thought you wanted to be with me this time." He shakes his head. "I thought...I thought you finally wanted to be mine...but you were never really mine." He laughs darkly. "Fuck it. I'm done with this. You want him, then have at it, but don't come crawling back to me when he fucks it all up again."

  "Rio, please don't be like this. You know how I feel about him. I care about you too-"

  "You care? That wasn't what you said to me when I was fucking you and you were moaning my name and telling me you loved me," he says and a chorus of oohs and ahhs echo around us.

  "Stop it." I say, pleading with him with my eyes.

  "Bullshit. This. Is. Bullshit."

  He walks away and leaves me standing on my own. I look over my shoulder and everyone giggles as they disperse and hurry back into their dorm rooms.

  Well, that was not how I imagined that talk going. I knew he'd be mad when he found out I was back with Maverick, but I wasn't expecting some of the harsh words that came out of his mouth.

  "Paige, here, put this on." Maverick is suddenly behind me, wrapping a bathrobe around my shoulders.

  "He hates me." I mumble on the way back to my dorm room.

  There a few people still lingering around, waiting to hear some more juicy gossip, but Maverick quickly shuts the door once we're inside.

  "He doesn't hate you." Maverick crosses his arms and leans back against the door. "He's mad at me for taking you away from him."

  "I was never his to take."

  "Maybe he doesn't see it like that,"

  "He just told me I was never his in the first place."

  "He was trying to upset you."

  "Did you hear all of that?"

  "Some."

  "Shit." I fall onto the bed and drop my face into my hands. "I don't want him to hate me. I never meant for any of this to happen, I didn't know you were going to walk back into my life. If I had known I never would have slept with him. Now I've made it worse and he thinks I'm some heartless bitch."

  "He doesn't."

  "He does. And why are you defending him?"

  "Because I know what it feels like to be in love with you and not get to be with you - it fucking sucks."

  "I don't want to upset anyone."

  "I think someone was always going to get hurt." Maverick sits down next to me. "You know the saying, three's a crowd."

  I give him a pointed look.

  "I'm sorry, but this was never going to be easy. He learned to live with it the last time, so he'll get over it again."

  "Something tells me he won't ever speak to me again. I didn't mean for this to happen...not like this,"

  "I know. And I'm sure he knows you didn't do this on purpose to hurt him." Maverick puts his arm around me and holds me close.

  "I was going to tell him about us when I next saw him. I wasn't expecting him to show up so soon."

  "I'm so sorry, babe," Maverick strokes the top of my head, comforting me. "Maybe give him a few days to cool off and then give him a call."

  "You don't even like him and you're telling me I should call him,"

  "I know he's important to you, even if you don't admit it out loud. I also know that you don't like to upset anyone if you don't have to. He'll come around." he assures.

  Maverick kisses the top of my head just as my stomach grumbles.

  "I think we need to get some food inside you. You can't survive on sausage alone," Maverick jokes, and I elbow him.

  "Mav!"

  "Sorry." He stands up smiling. "Do you want to order to collect, or have it delivered?"

  "Delivered." I say automatically.

  I can't face going back out there again with all the curious eyes. And I'm worried about JT coming after Maverick.

  We order takeout and watch movies until it's dark. Maverick falls asleep just after ten, but my brain won't stop ticking. I don't know how he can even sleep with the threat of JT looming over us. He could come back at any moment. I texted Em earlier to let her know what was going on and she said she'd stay with Spencer toni
ght to give us some time alone, so at least there's no chance of her stumbling through the door in the middle of the night.

  I let out another sigh and check the clock on the nightstand: 11.15 pm. My eyes are tired, and I need to rest, but my stupid brain won't shut off. I'm too worried to sleep. I grab my phone off the nightstand and turn the sound off. I check Maverick's fast asleep before I text Dario.

  Me: Is JT going to come after Maverick?

  Seconds later.

  Rio: Who is this?

  Me: You know who it is.

  Rio: Nope. No clue???

  Me: Well, is he?

  The minutes tick by and I think he's just going to ignore me but then my phone vibrates.

  Rio: Let me guess, now you want me to stop him from beating up your boyfriend?

  Me: Rio, please.

  I don't know what to say. Beg him? The last thing anyone needs is JT coming after Maverick, it will result in another trip to the hospital.

  Rio: You really know how to fuck me up, you know that?

  I start typing a reply but don't know what to say to that.

  Is that a no?

  My phone vibrates again.

  Rio: Don't worry about it

  Me: I am worried about it.

  Rio: JT is too fucked up to think about coming after that dickhead again

  Me: What about in the future??

  Rio: It's done. Don't worry. JT won't come looking for him

  I let out a small breath, one I had been holding in.

  Rio: I might though

  Me: Don’t even think about it!

  Rio: If he hurts you again, he's dead!

  I know he's been serious but the knife Emojis are a bit much. I shake my head and darken my phone.

  I curl up beside Maverick and try to settle down. My phone vibrates once more on the nightstand and I quickly snatch it up and look over my shoulder to check Maverick is still asleep.

  Rio: I'm sorry

  I small smile touches my lips and my eyes tear up. I hate feeling as though he hates me. His words stung earlier. I know he was angry, but they really hurt.

  Me: Me too.

  Rio: x

  Just that one kiss tells me everything.

  He doesn't hate me.

  Chapter 14

  May

  I don't even know how this happened.

  Okay, that’s not true. I know how this happened, I'm just not sure how it happened to me?

  I'm on the pill.

  This must be a mistake. My period is just late. This happens all the time to women, right? I go over all the reasons why my period might be late.

  Stress. Check.

  The last eight weeks have been stressful. Things were a bit awkward between Maverick and me to start with, and it took us a few weeks to find our routine again, and we've been with each other nearly every day since then. We’ve become too dependent on each other again, but that's not my concern right now.

  I have been worrying about college. My grades started to slip before I got back together with Maverick, so I have been working hard to get my grades back up. I never even gave my period a second thought ‘cause I’ve been so busy with college work. It wasn't until Em asked me if I needed any tampons because she was just on her way out to buy some that it even crossed my mind. As soon as she had left, I checked my diary and realized my period was due last month and I had completely forgotten. Last week I was feeling tired and I threw up twice, but I thought I had caught a stomach bug. I never even considered the possibility I could be pregnant.

  Weight loss. Check.

  I've read weight gain or weight loss can affect your period, and I've noticed I've lost some weight. I don't know why, though.

  Maybe because of the stress.

  Then there's one more thing that is bugging me.

  I didn't even think about it when the doctor asked me if I was on birth control when I was prescribed antibiotics for my ear infection. I just shook my head because I didn't think it mattered. I was still on the pill, but I wasn't sexually active at the time because I wasn't with anyone. Now I'm wishing I had paid more attention and asked more questions.

  Shit.

  Why me?

  I pick up a pregnancy test off the shelf and turn it over in my hand.

  I hate this feeling. Dread. Fear.

  I can't have a baby right now. I'm still in college, things are finally getting back to normal. But the thing is, I already know if I am pregnant, I won't be able to get rid of it. Not after what I went through the last time. The regret still clings to me. I still think about the unborn child I had aborted. Not willingly, but I didn't have a choice. This time I have a choice. And I have Maverick. I'm not sure how he'll take the news if it turns out I am pregnant. Either way, I know he'll support me no matter what I decide.

  I grab another pregnancy test to make sure and hurry to the checkout. I stand in line, getting anxious. I glance over my shoulder but don't see anyone I recognize. The last thing I need is to run into someone that knows my dad. The line moves forward just as my phone starts ringing. I check the caller ID and see Emily's name.

  "Yes?" I answer my phone.

  "Do you have any itching cream?" Em asks.

  "What?"

  "Like, for a rash."

  "What kind of rash?" I query.

  "Shave rash. I'm so itchy it's driving me mad."

  "Are you sure it's not something else?"

  "No."

  "Maybe you need to go to the clinic."

  "Haha. Spence and I are both clean, thank you very much. I used a different shaving cream the other day and now I'm on fire."

  "Okay, so what do you want?"

  "Do we have anything for it?"

  "Uh..." The line moves forward, and I step aside to let the person behind me go in front. "I don't think so. I have some cream for my eczema, but I don't think that will help your rash."

  "Are you still in town?"

  "Yes,"

  I lied to Em and told her I was going into town ‘cause I needed to post a letter and draw some money out of the ATM.

  "Can you pop into the pharmacy and grab me something?" she asks sweetly.

  "Like what?"

  "I don't know. Ask someone."

  "Okay. Fine."

  "Thank you, I lurrrve you."

  "Uh-huh." I hang up.

  I browse the shelves but can't find anything. I reluctantly end up asking a girl that works here if they have anything for shave rash. She gives me a funny look, her eyes landing on the pregnancy tests in my hand.

  Thanks, Em, now this girl thinks I have an itchy STD or something.

  She shows me a few creams and recommends the one with aloe vera in it. I grab it off the shelf and hurry back to the checkout. I just want to get out of here. The line moves along and the guy in front pays for his item, and then spins around and walks straight into me and I manage to drop everything.

  "Shit. Sorry." he quickly apologizes as we duck down at the same time, and we happen to look up at each other. "Paige?" Mitchel frowns, picking up the pregnancy test.

  I snatch it from him and stand up again.

  Why did this have to happen? All the people that could walk into me, it had to be Mitchel Torres.

  He's wearing a beanie with the hood up which is why I didn't recognize him. I haven't seen him in months. The last time I saw him was when he was taken away in an ambulance.

  He rubs his chin and moves out of the way for someone to go in front.

  "It's for Em," I blurt, gesturing to the pregnancy test.

  Fuck.

  He doesn’t say anything, so I ignore him and move along the line.

  Why'd I have to say Em's name? Now he's probably going to run off and tell Spencer she might be pregnant.

  Shit.

  Can this day get any worse? Even Em doesn't know why I'm really in town today.

  I pay for my items and cram them into my tote bag and run out of the store before I see anyone else I recognize. I leave the pharmacy and
just as I turn the corner, Mitchel pushes off the wall and steps in front of me.

  "Em's pregnant?" he questions.

  I look around for an escape, but the truck is parked across the street.

  "Paige?"

  "No. No, she's not pregnant." I admit.

  "So why are you buying pregnancy tests?"

  "Why do you care?" I try to step around him.

  I don't want to be mean to him. He only lost his mom a few months ago, but he does have my sister. After she left Nebraska to attend the funeral, she never went back again. Em told me Kelsey’s now living with her best friend, Nessie. I have no idea what my sister is thinking, leaving her fiancé to come back here. I don't know if Mitchel and my sister are even together because no one really knows anything. Even Spencer has no idea what's going on between them. Mom phoned me up to break the news to me, but I already knew by then. Mom was livid about the whole thing, she even told me I shouldn't have anything to do with my sister, not after she abandoned her fiancé to get back with that dropout. I haven't seen Kelsey since Nebraska, she's living in town somewhere, but we haven't crossed paths yet, thankfully. I wouldn't know what to say to her. Something along the lines of well done on ruining your life to get back with Mitchel.

  "I'm just curious." Mitchel steps in front of me to block my escape.

  "Well, you can stop being curious, they're just for a friend."

  "A friend?" He raises an eyebrow.

  "What do you want, Mitchel?"

  "Nothing," He laughs, unwrapping a piece of nicotine gum. "Trying to cut back," he tells me, pocketing the gum.

  "How are you?" I change the subject. "How's Kelsey and Blue?"

  "Everyone's great. Nice try trying to distract me."

  "I'm not. I just…really need to go."

  I step around him and cross the street but soon realize he's right behind me.

  "Don't you have somewhere else to be?" I pull out Maverick's keys and unlock the truck.

  He's been letting me drive it more and more. He had to give me a few lessons on reversing as it's a lot longer than your average car, but I just park where there's enough space and avoid reversing when necessary. I quickly open the door, climb in, and go to pull the door shut when Mitchel gets in the way. He leans down and looks around the truck.

  "Nice wheels," he says.

  "I borrowed it."

  "How is Maverick?"