Through the Fire

by Elizabeth Johns

  The butler announced dinner was served and they made their way to the dining room. Once they were seated and the first course set before them, Margaux decided it was best to tell him her concerns.

  “Is anything wrong, my lord? You seem somewhat distracted,” she asked boldly.

  “My apologies,” he answered. “I had a disturbing visitation this afternoon.”

  “You should have sent word. We would have stayed at home this evening.”

  “No. I was merely debating whether or not to tell you about it.”

  “I was debating if I should tell you about my visit to the vicarage,” she confessed.

  “The vicarage? Oh no, I can imagine it,” he said, his forehead wrinkling. “The vicar and his wife were my visitors today.”

  “Strictly speaking, I did not actually visit,” she amended. “They refused to see me.”

  “That is probably fortunate, lass. I wish I had not seen them.”

  “What happened?”

  “They insulted me in almost every way imaginable. They accused me of perpetuating drunkenness and demanded I cease Iain’s distillery operation. They also accused me of associating with loose women, and had the effrontery to claim your orphanage was housing harlots.”

  “Harlots? And I am the loose woman you were accused of associating with?”

  He nodded. “I’m sorry, lass. I shouldna have mentioned it.” He reached over and gently touched her hand, which sent pulses of awareness through her. She had to take a breath to settle her racing heart.

  “I daresay I should not go out alone. I had supposed, foolishly it seems, that by declaring myself a spinster and having Aunt Ida with me, I should avoid such tittle-tattle.”

  “Old harridan.” Aunt Ida made a rare contribution to the conversation. “They should have been gone by now.”

  Lord Craig laughed. “Indeed.”

  “I have never had the pleasure of actually meeting Mrs. Mulligan,” Margaux said.

  “You willna have to. I asked them to leave,” he declared.

  Margaux was surprised, but pleasantly so.

  “I’ve no idea why my brother didna dismiss him. They didna see eye to eye, either.”

  “Perhaps it would be best if we do not socialize unless my parents are here. You may still send your daughters to me for lessons, and I will still help you plan the ball. If your housekeeper and cook would not object to waiting on me at Breconrae, it would not be difficult.”

  “This is ridiculous! I willna allow some over-righteous, misinterpreting fools to dictate how I run my life, nor who I have in my home. You are always welcome here, no matter your decision.”

  “Thank you, my lord. However, until the village accepts me here, it would perhaps be best to observe the proprieties.”

  “I doona wish to pressure you, but if you lived here you would be under my protection. They willna shun you as Lady Craig.”

  Margaux nodded and looked down at the starched tablecloth. Lost in thought, she absently pushed her food around her plate. She knew what he said to be true. She had the overwhelming feeling of losing her first major battle in her fight. Already she was looking forward to helping Lord Craig and the girls—even to furthering her friendship with him. There was something about him that drew her to him. Of course, he was devastatingly handsome, but it would be the height of hypocrisy for her to be drawn to him for his beauty when she despised being treated in the same manner herself. However, she knew he had a point. She had seen any variety of misdeeds and sins become magically acceptable under the guise of marriage. She considered him as he attempted to talk to Aunt Ida.

  Could she be happy, married to him? She thought she could. She was good at reading people, and did not believe he was playing her false. He was nothing like the men she had come to Scotland to avoid. She would have more freedom once married, if she agreed the terms from the beginning. Perhaps she would be better off than continuing her resolution to live as a spinster. Her parents might pressure her to marry someone much less desirable than Lord Craig in order to save the family reputation for her sisters’ sakes. She inhaled deeply.

  “Lord Craig,” she said softly when there was a pause in the conversation. He looked back at her with his startling eyes and her resolve almost left her. She desperately hoped she wasn’t setting herself up for heartbreak. “You have convinced me. I will marry you.” She paused. “With conditions.”

  He reached over, took her hand and kissed it. “I will do my best to make you happy, lass, though I ken I am not who you would wish for your mate.”

  “Thank you.” She believed him, and also felt guilty that he felt she was doing him such a favour. “When may the wedding take place? It will be some time before my parents return.”

  “We also happen to be lacking a clergyman at the moment,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye. “Although, he is the last person I would wish to bless our union.”

  “We don’t need clergy or banns in Scotland. Even I know that.”

  “True. We could say I do before two witnesses and be done with it.”

  “Let us do it, then.” In for a penny, in for a pound, she reasoned to herself.

  Lord Craig wrinkled his forehead. “Just because we can, it doesna mean we should. I take this marriage the same way I would any other.”

  In that moment, Margaux’s heart softened.

  “We should at least write to your parents for their blessing.”

  “I do not think it necessary, especially considering the gossip. They will be so grateful to you, they will likely double my dowry,” she jested. Besides, she did not wish for a grand wedding at St. George’s in London. Everything her mother did was grand, but that was not Margaux’s style.

  “I do not need a grand wedding.” Especially not for a marriage of convenience, she thought.

  “Are you certain?”

  “I have no doubt my parents will approve.”

  “I approve,” Aunt Ida chimed in, smiling warmly at them.

  “Aunt Ida approves. There. Now can you find one more witness?”

  Lord Craig looked concerned and sat in deep thought for a few moments.

  “Verra well,” he said at last. “If you will withdraw with me to the parlour, we can discuss your conditions, and then I will see who I can find for witnesses.”

  Margaux found herself alone in the parlour for some time after they had discussed her terms. Lord Craig had graciously agreed to all of her requirements about the marriage—she almost regretted having voiced her concerns as she had watched the shock on his face during the conversation. But without her father to speak for her, she had felt she must stand for her rights. She would have her independence were she widowed, there would be no consummation without mutual consent, and she would not be required to seek his permission over trivial matters. He had asked nothing of her, she recalled with guilt.

  Apparently, Aunt Ida had wandered off somewhere between the parlour and the dining room. Margaux did not mind having some time to compose herself. What had she done? It had seemed a reasonable thing to do when she was staring into Lord Craig’s comforting eyes, but at this moment she doubted her sanity. Was she truly about to be unequivocally, irrevocably married?

  She prayed she was making the right decision. She pondered her circumstances and realized she had little choice unless she wanted to return to London. There could no longer be much of a life for her here as a spinster, alone with only her senile aunt for company, since the village would continue to shun her.

  Catriona and Maili burst into the room just then, interrupting her reflections.

  “Is it true?” Catriona’s voice quivered with doubt.

  “Are you to be our new mama?” Maili asked excitedly, while pulling on Margaux’s hand.

  “Yes.” Margaux was too overcome to say more. She wished she shared their enthusiasm, but was determined to make the best of the situation. For herself and the girls. She remembered the gifts she had bought them at the shop that afternoon. Had that been today? It
seemed as though time was moving without her and she had lost control. She called for her cloak and when the servant returned, took the small presents from a pocket.

  “What do you have there?” Maili enquired with her usual fervor.

  “I was in the village this afternoon and thought you would enjoy these.”

  She handed each girl the ribbons she had purchased for them.

  Maili quickly returned hers for Margaux to place in her hair. When Margaux looked up, Catriona was still fingering her ribbon and had tears in her eyes.

  “What is wrong? If you do not like the colour, we can choose another tomorrow,” she said kindly.

  “It is perfect. My mother used to give us ribbons, and no one has given me one since. Thank you.”

  “Oh, my dear.” Margaux wrapped the child in a hug. “There will be lots of ribbons in your life again.”

  Catriona giggled.

  “Your pardon, ladies, are we interrupting?” Lord Craig—Gavin—was standing at the door in his clan’s colours and she almost forgot to breathe at the sight of him. Never before had she seen a man look so stunning in a kilt and she was thankful she had worn a nice gown that evening. She’d had no idea, of course, when she had chosen it, that it would be her wedding gown.

  “Not at all,” she answered.

  “Look, Papa Craig! Mama Margaux gave us new ribbons!”

  Margaux’s knees almost buckled at hearing herself called Mama. It was something she would quickly have to become accustomed to.

  “Verra beautiful, girls.” He bent to whisper to them and they nodded, then ran out of the room.

  Mrs. Ennis, who had entered in Lord Craig’s wake, bobbed a curtsey. “If you please, my lady, would you accompany me into the room?”

  Margaux found it curious, but did as she was bade.

  Aunt Ida stood beside the fireplace holding a daisy chain she had made. At a motion of the old lady’s hand, Margaux joined her and bent forward so her aunt could place the circlet on her head. She was touched by the gesture.

  “Thank you.”

  Aunt Ida just smiled at her.

  The girls came through the door carrying a mixture of flowers they must have quickly picked in the garden. Margaux chuckled lightly. It seemed everyone was determined to make it as much of a wedding as possible, despite the circumstances.

  “Are you ready, m’lady?” Mrs. Ennis asked softly.

  “I believe so.” Ready or not, Margaux held her chin high. Aunt Ida held out her arm to escort her, and they followed the girls into the parlour at her aunt’s sedate pace.

  She almost recoiled when she realized the entire room was filled with Craig’s servants. He must have ordered his entire staff to be present. She looked at Gavin, so handsome with his plaid across his shoulder, standing next to an old man, who was at least eighty if he was a day, and she smiled. Gavin smiled back, his expression sheepish, and she knew everything would somehow be all right. She was not marrying a cold man. He was loving and kind by nature. She would be happy. She had to be.

  “I am open to offers if you do not want him,” Aunt Ida whispered to her.

  Margaux was too nervous to laugh. Then again, Aunt Ida might believe herself to still be a young débutante.

  “I promised.” Margaux decided to answer safely.

  Aunt Ida passed Margaux’s hand to Gavin and winked at them.

  “Well, you certainly took care of the witnesses,” Margaux said quietly.

  “I dinna want any doubt. I am sorry your family canna be with you, but we can have a ceremony in the church—with a proper vicar—later, if you wish.”

  She nodded. He cared for her feelings, at least. Her family was important to her, especially her sisters. Though they were different, they were an inseparable part of her.

  “Shall we begin?” the old man asked in a very thick brogue.

  Margaux tilted her head at Gavin as if to ask where he had found this stranger at short notice. Gavin leaned toward her and explained. “This is my old steward, Wallace. He takes this verra seriously.”

  The old steward. Good heavens. And this was legal in Scotland.

  “Welcome. Ye are witness to this blessed union of Lady Margaux Winslow and Lord Craig. Firstly, Mrs. Ennis wishes to speak her blessing.”

  The older housekeeper stood, teary-eyed with apparent happiness as one of her charges was to be wed.

  * * *

  “May God be with ye and bless ye.

  May ye see yer children’s children.

  May ye be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings.

  May ye ken nothing but happiness,

  From this day forward.”

  * * *

  “And now ye shall repeat the vows after me,” Wallace stated, as Mrs. Ennis took her seat.

  * * *

  “I, Gavin Samuel Laren Craig, in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood and the love that resides within my heart, take thee Margaux Catherine Serena Winslow to my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. To desire thee and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.”

  * * *

  “I, Margaux Catherine Serena Winslow, in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, by the life that courses within my blood, and the love that resides within my heart, take thee, Gavin Samuel Laren Craig to my hand, my heart, and my spirit to be my chosen one. To desire and be desired by thee, to possess thee, and be possessed by thee, without sin or shame, for naught can exist in the purity of my love for thee. I promise to love thee wholly and completely without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I shall not seek to change thee in any way. I shall respect thee, thy beliefs, thy people, and thy ways as I respect myself.”

  * * *

  “And now for the rings.”

  Gavin slipped a ring into her hand. She looked at him gratefully.

  “Place the ring on each other’s fingers, and repeat after me...”

  * * *

  “I take ye my heart

  At the rising of the moon

  And the setting of the stars.

  To love and to honour

  Through all that may come.

  Through all our lives together

  In all our lives,

  May we be reborn

  That we may meet and know

  And love again,

  And remember.”

  * * *

  “Miss Douglas?”

  As Catriona stood and read a verse, Gavin placed a sash of his family’s tartan around Margaux’s neck. This felt very real. She was grateful they were not in church or she would feel a traitor for speaking her words. They had pledged their love. God would strike them down for this. She wondered what vows they used for society marriages that had been arranged. Margaux had not listened to the few ceremonies she had attended. She had not been able to hear well from where she was and was brought out of her thoughts by Catriona’s words.

  * * *

  “Now you are bound one to the other

  With a tie not easy to break.

  Take the time of binding

  Before the final vows are made

  To learn what you need to know

  To grow in wisdom and love.

  That your marriage will be strong

  That your love will last

  In this life and beyond.”

  * * *

  “Miss Maili?” The little girl stood up and read her verse proudly.

  * * *

  “A thousand welcomes to you with your marriage. May you be healthy all yo
ur days. May you be blessed with long life and peace, may you grow old with goodness, and with riches.”

  Gavin leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips, but whispered to her in a voice that made her weak in the knees.

  * * *

  “Tugaim mo chroí duit go deo.”

  * * *

  She had no idea what it meant, but somehow she knew she was fortunate to have received his gift that day.

  The servants stood and cheered as Wallace pronounced them man and wife: Lord and Lady Craig. The retainers each offered their congratulations, leaving Wallace and Aunt Ida to the last to add their names as witness to the union.

  “A couple must consummate a marriage in Scotland,” Aunt Ida remarked.

  Margaux fought a blush.

  “She is right,” Wallace agreed cheerfully, and slapped Gavin heartily on the back.

  “It is not necessary tonight, however,” Gavin said to her. “I will send for you and your belongings tomorrow. You may have tonight to rest—unless you wish to remain here…”

  “No, tomorrow would be perfect. Thank you,” she said gratefully. It gave her a little more time to come to terms with what had happened.

  “We can arrange a proper wedding breakfast and ball once I have sent a post to your family.”

  Aunt Ida and Margaux took their leave right away. She did not care to linger that night. When they returned to Breconrae, she made her way to her room and to bed. Marriages had been arranged for centuries, after all. It was no different from the lot of most other ladies in society and she did have the luxury of an acquaintance with Lord Craig, albeit a brief one. She collapsed on to the bed, too tired to face her thoughts of self-betrayal that night.

  She slept fitfully, and had a horrid nightmare she could not wake from. The house was engulfed in flames and she could not find a way out of her room. The room was too hot to bear; her skin felt as though it were melting and her throat as if she were drawing breath through a muffler.