Call Me Crazy

by Quinn Loftis

  “I’m not wearing a diaper Candy,” I growl.

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, when you’re walking out of here with pee running down your leg.”

  Chapter 19

  “I’m going to give you a little test. If you are a patient at a mental hospital and one of the paranoids asks you if all the government spies have been detained, do you: A) Calmly tell the patient that, yes the spies are all gone and they are safe; B) Tell the patient to leave you the hell alone; or C) Whisper in the patient's ear to be very still, because he is being watched, and then tell him that in order to escape the spies he has to convincingly pretend to be a chicken. If you answered anything but C, stay away from me because I just might take you out at the knees you pansy.” ~Candy

  ~ Trey ~

  As I climb out of my truck, I glance back at Tally, she’s nearly bouncing in her seat she’s so excited. I smile to myself as I walk around to the passenger door and open it.

  “Ready?” I ask, as I take her hand in mine.

  “Yep,” she grins.

  Her eyes widen as we enter the stable and she sees just how nice it is. From the outside, it looks like a simple barn, but on the inside, it’s beautiful, with shaved wooden posts and cedar stalls, all of which have been lacquered to a lustrous sheen. Mr. Taggert has spared no expense for his horses, but then he has made good money off of them.

  “It’s so big,” she says, as she turns in a slow circle, her eyes scanning over her surroundings. A gentle huff catches her attention as she turns and sees Rosa, a beautiful bay mare, sticking her head out of her stall.

  “Who’s that?” She asks me, as she walks slowly towards the horse.

  “That’s Rosa, she’s my personal favorite.”

  Tally reaches her hand out slowly and holds it just about the height of Rosa’s nose, like she is asking for permission to touch the beautiful animal. Rosa blows air out of her mouth making the same huffing sound that had caught Tally’s attention, and then raises her head so that Tally’s hand is pressed against her face just above her nose. Tally laughs and turns back to look at me. Her smile is so big, it’s contagious, and I can’t help but return it. I watch as she steps closer to Rosa and lays her cheek against the side of the mare’s face. Her shoulders relax and her breathing almost matches that of the horse.

  This is one of the reason’s Rosa is my favorite. They say that horses have an ability to connect with broken people and are often used for therapy purposes. Rosa could be a therapy horse. She seemed to sense a person’s mood and responds accordingly. In this moment, I know that I am witnessing exactly what a therapy horse does. Rosa nuzzles Tally’s shoulder and lowers her head so that Tally can wrap her arms around the horse’s neck. Tally didn’t hesitate. She buried her face in the black mane and seems to block out the world around her.

  I walk over to Lucky’s stall and click my tongue at the horse. He comes sauntering over and sticks out his huge brown head.

  “Hey Lucky, you want to go for a ride?” I ask him as I clip a lead to his halter and open his stall. I lead him over to the tack room and tie him to the hitching post. I gathered the saddle blanket, saddle, and bridle and get him ready. Once he is ready to go I look back over at Tally and see that she is now brushing Rosa’s mane with one of the brushes hanging on the horse’s stall, and talking to her.

  “You want to go for a ride?” I call over.

  Tally’s head snaps up and she looks at me.

  “Really?”

  I nod. “Grab that lead that’s hanging there on the hook and clip it to her halter. Then bring her over here.”

  I gather up Rosa’s tack, and once Tally has her standing next to Lucky, proceed to saddle her up.

  “Who’s this handsome boy?” She asks, pointing to Lucky.

  “This is Lucky, he’s one of the studs, meaning they use him for breeding.”

  “I can see why they call him Lucky then.” She looks at me and winks with a slight blush to her skin, which almost causes me to blush in return—almost.

  “Okay, instructions,” I walk her around to Rosa’s side, “to mount the horse you grab the horn of the saddle, that’s this,” I grab the horn demonstrating how to grasp it. “And, with the other hand you grab the cantle, that’s this part that rises up on the back of the seat. Then put your left foot in the stirrup and at the same time you push with your leg you’re going to pull with your arms.” I demonstrate for her and the climb back down. “Now, you try.”

  She places her hands where I had directed and lifts her foot up into the stirrup. As she begins to push and pull, I place my hands on her hips and lift. She swings her right leg up and over and sits in the seat.

  She looks down at me with a knowing smile, “You didn’t have to help me, I could have done it myself.”

  “I have no doubt that you could have, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to put my hands on your waist now would I?”

  Lucky shifts his hooves restlessly as I unhook the leads. I climb up on his back, and then look over at Tally. “Okay, riding is pretty easy. A gentle squeeze of your legs will get Rosa going. And, if you squeeze a little harder, she’ll pick up her speed. She will turn in whichever direction you steer her with the reins, if you lay them over her neck to the right she will turn right and vice versa. Make sense?”

  She gives me a determined nod, “Got it.”

  “Alright, follow me.”

  I lead her out of the back of the stable onto the land Mr. Taggert owns. There are trails all over that he has made specifically for his horses, but I don’t take one of the trails. I lead her out to an open field.

  “So, you ready to test her out?” I ask her.

  Tally gives me a flirty smile that makes my pulse speed up. “Didn’t you know Swift, I was born ready.” To my surprise, she gives a click of her tongue and as if Rosa understands what Tally wants, she takes off. I am too stunned to follow, so I just watch.

  Rosa is beautiful when she runs, but the woman sitting astride her only improves the view. I watch as Tally leans forward, her face close to Rosa’s mane. The wind blows through her hair, and her body seems to move as one with the mare. As Rosa makes a wide circle Tally sits up straight, stretches her arms out wide and throws her head back. Her eyes are closed and her lips are turned up in a joyfully beautiful smile. She rides with total abandonment of herself, she seems to soar like a bird over the field rising and dipping with the mare’s progression across the terrain. Rosa picks up the pace just a tad, but her stride is so smooth that it doesn’t even jostle Tally. I can't remember seeing a more beautiful sight. She rides that way until Rosa brings her back to my side.

  She smiles at me, her hair wild and her skin red from the winds kiss.

  “Did you enjoy that?” I ask.

  “You have no idea,” she laughs and Rosa seems to hold her head a little higher as if to say I’m the one who brought her that joy.

  I reach over and pat Rosa’s head, “You’re a good girl Rosa, love.”

  “Love?” Tally asks, with a smirk.

  “Jealous?”

  “Maybe.”

  I laugh and squeeze Lucky, clicking my tongue. I call over my shoulder as Lucky takes off, “You have nothing to be jealous of baby.”

  ~

  The sun is beginning to set by the time I pull into Tally’s drive way. I get out and walk around to help her out of my truck. I take her hand, but make no move to walk her to the door. Instead, I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her, pushing her back gently until she is pressed against the side of the truck.

  “Well, hello to you too,” she grins at me.

  I look down at her face and my eyes roam over her beautiful features. Her perky nose and cute chin, her big eyes and full lips, lips I want to taste.

  “Did you have fun today?” I ask, before I give in to my desires.

  She nods and bites her bottom lip. “I had the best time I’ve ever had. It was amazing Trey, really, thank you.” To my surprise, she leans up and pulls me down at the same
time until our lips are firmly pressed together. Her mouth is soft and warm, and I know I should be gentle, but my restraint can only last for long. I nip at her bottom lip and she gasps. I take advantage and deepen the kiss. She moans and presses closer to me, her body is lithe and small and feels so good to my hands. I squeeze her hips and then gradually slip my hands up her back. Tally arches back into my grasp and my lips leave hers and wander to her cheek, across her jaw, down her neck to the hollow of her throat. Her head falls back, just as it had when she had been riding Rosa, only now the look on her face is one of desire and longing. I kiss her neck again and listen to the sound of her breathing increase.

  “Trey,” my name is a plea from her lips, and I pull her closer, as if she could possibly get any closer. “Trey I,” her words catch in her throat when my hands slip under her shirt and graze across the soft skin of her back. “Oh,” she says, breathlessly.

  I grin at her, “Like that?”

  She nods.

  “Your skin is the softest thing I have ever felt,” I whisper in her ear. “Tally,” I blow gently on her ear and then kiss her just below it. I feel her teeth nip the skin on my neck and I nearly beg her not to stop. I pull back and my breathing is erratic at best. “We’ve got to stop baby,” I tell her gently. She nods and smiles up at me. Her lips glisten in the moonlight moist from our kiss and her chest rises and falls with each rapid breath.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “Thank you, you’re not too bad yourself.” She teases.

  I chuckle and take a step back, my hands on her hips once again making sure she’s steady. She lets out a deep breath blowing through puffed cheeks. “Sorry you didn’t get to meet my parents, maybe next time though. Okay, guess I better go in.” She takes a step towards her house.

  I nod and step away from her. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

  She gives me one last smile as she walks across her lawn to the front door. I see her step into the lighted house, and then she’s gone behind the closed door and I want nothing more than to rip the door off its hinges and bring her back to my side.

  ~

  “How is she doing tonight Zeke?” I ask the orderly, as I walk towards my mother’s room.

  “She’s had a rough day, I don’t know if she’s still awake.”

  “Okay, thank you for keeping an eye on her for me.” The last time that I had been in to visit my mother I had asked Zeke to let me know if my mom began to get worse. He had been more than happy to keep an eye on her and, I truly did appreciate it.

  I knock on her door and wait, but there is no answer, so I gently push it open. My mother lies in the small bed on her side. Her eyes are open, but she doesn’t appear to be seeing her surroundings.

  “Mom,” I say, gently, as I walk into the dark room. The only light is from the moon that shines in through the only window. “I heard you had a rough day again.” I kneel down in front of her and brush her hair back from her face. She looks as if she has aged ten years in the past two weeks. Her skin is pale and seems to sag on her bones. She’s lost weight and it’s causing her eyes to sink into their sockets. I reach out and take her hand in mine. I’m as careful as possible, because she feels like the slightest squeeze would crush her bones.

  She doesn’t respond to my voice or my touch. She simply lies, staring at nothing. The anger that I keep under tight control pulls against the bonds in my chest. The medicines aren’t working, the therapy isn’t working, and she is just getting worse. Day by day, she slips further away from me. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for my grandmother, even though she is my father’s mother, she still feels as though my mom is her daughter. How horrible would it be to watch a disease destroy your child’s mind, and in turn, her life?

  “I love you mom,” I whisper, not knowing if she is listening or if she can even hear me above the other voices. “I love you.”

  I sit with her long into the night. She never once moves or says anything, and finally, at nearly one in the morning she closes her eyes and sleeps.

  As I step out of her room sometime later, closing the door quietly behind me, I nearly jump when I come face to face with Candy.

  “Boo,” she whispers an inch from my face.

  “Candy,” I say in a calm voice that belies the pounding heart in my chest. Candy’s face is not one that you want to have sneak up on you, nor is Candy herself one that you want coming up behind you without your knowledge.

  “You’re here awfully late or early,” She says as she takes a step back, allowing me some room.

  “I sat with my mom,” I tell her and she nods, but I can tell her mind is somewhere else.

  “How’s my girl?” She asks me with eager eyes.

  “She’s good, she told me about karaoke.”

  “Bah,” she waves her hand at me, “that was tame compared to what has happened in the past.”

  “You’ve had something worse happen than the patients mooning the staff?”

  She grins, “I’ll never tell.”

  “So, has Tally finally given in to her feelings for you or is she still being a stubborn twit?” Candy asks me.

  “She’s come around, but I didn’t give her much of a choice.”

  “Good for you,” she looks away from me briefly, and I notice a strained look on her face.

  “Candy are you alright?” I take a step closer and reach out to touch her shoulder. Just before my hand touches her, she begins to crumble. I move quickly, catching her before she can hit the cold tile floor.

  “Zeke!” I yell the first name I can think of. I pick Candy up in my arms, and I can’t believe how light she is. She weighs nothing at all, and it surprises me that a strong wind hasn’t already blown her over. I hear footsteps running towards me and as soon as they come into view, I start heading towards Candy’s room.

  “She just collapsed,” I holler back at the three people following quickly behind me.

  An arm reaches around me and opens Candy’s door and I walk in and lay her on her bed. One of the nurses and Zeke step around me and begin looking Candy over. I watch as they check for a pulse and to see if she’s breathing. The nurse puts a blood pressure cuff on her, Zeke pulls a phone out, dials a number, and when he begins talking, I presume he’s calling a doctor. They work efficiently, as if they have done this a thousand times before.

  “Yes,” Zeke’s deep voice rumbles. “She’s collapsed again.”

  Again, I think. I didn’t know that Candy was sick. Tally hasn’t mentioned it and neither has Candy.

  “Her vitals are all over the place.” He pauses and nods his head at whatever he is being told. “Alright, see you in a few.” He ends the call.

  “Is she going to be alright?” I ask the big man.

  The look in Zeke’s eyes tells me something much different than his words. “She’s tough, she’ll get through it. But it would probably be best for you to go ahead and go.”

  I nod and start towards the door, but before I can open it, I hear her voice.

  “Do not tell her Tonto. Please, do not tell her.”

  I look back at Candy, usually so full of life and mischief. Now her eyes are glassy, her mouth slack and her skin pale and dry.

  “Okay Candy, but you need to tell her, soon.”

  She gives me a small nod and then closes her eyes. It was as if it had taken every ounce of strength left in her body to give that one small motion.

  ~

  It isn’t until I’m driving home that I realize what I have promised. If Candy dies before Tally has a chance to find out what is going on, she will be livid with me. I'd told Candy I wouldn’t say anything to Tally, but Tally’s feelings came before all others, and I refuse to lie to her. I could handle Candy being hurt by my actions, but not Tally.

  As I walk into the house I check my phone and see that I can catch a couple hours sleep before I have to be up to go to work. But, when my head hits the pillow, sleep doesn’t come. My mind can only think of how hard it is going to be to tell
Tally that something is wrong with Candy and I can't help but worry about how this will affect her. She has been through so much all ready and I want her to get to have some peace, some happiness that will help replace the pain from the past months. If it was in my power, I would make sure that Tally would never endure such pain again. But then, as my grandmother would say, to protect a person from anything bad that might happen to them would actually be crippling to them. For it is by learning to overcome, the pain and the hurt of that difficult time that a person grows and become stronger.

  Tally is strong, no doubt, but everyone has their breaking point.

  Chapter 20

  “I’m learning something, and it’s a lesson that I don’t think most people learn until later on in life, way past their teenage years. Happiness is fleeting. It hits like a bolt of lightning, and then it is gone again in the blink of an eye. More life is lived in the valley with the rain, than on the mountain top with the bolts of lightning. That may seem insightful for a seventeen year old, but what is truly profound is this: if you want to have a full life, then you will figure out a way to find joy in the rain soaked valley.” ~Tally

  “How are things with Bobby?” I ask Nat, as I lay on the floor of my room staring up at the ceiling. She is on my bed painting her toe nails and humming a Dixie Chicks’ song about some loser named Earl.

  “Good, but almost too good, you know?”

  I snort as a huff of laughter escapes me, “Yeah, I totally know. Trey is…,” I pause trying to find the right words, ones that are not insulting, yet truthful, “he’s just intense and I keep thinking what if this is just an act, or if this is how he thinks he has to act, in order for me to date him.”

  “I don’t think it is,” she says. “I mean, think about it, Tal. He comes from a totally different culture and, based on how he dresses and sometimes the way he talks, it’s not like he’s Native American and that’s just his heritage, it’s a part of who he is and part of what has made him who he is. Add to that the fact that his mother is sick and he has had to take care of her. You end up with a guy who never really has been able to be young. He’s a grown man, with grown man responsibilities. He’s a keeper Tally.”