Someday in Paris

by Olivia Lara

  ‘I’d like you to leave,’ said Dominique.

  Vincent got up. ‘This doesn’t change the fact that I’ll petition for Anne’s custody. Please understand. She is my child. She is not a mistake and I will never let her feel that way. She needs to be with her father.’

  ‘Do whatever you have to do, Vincent,’ she said coldly.

  *

  For six months, they were in and out of the courtroom.

  JJ hired lawyers, an army of them. So did Vincent. The two most powerful families in France fought over the fate of an innocent three-year-old. Things were said, secrets were revealed, the media was overjoyed and time and time again, Dominique feared JJ would give Anne up to avoid the scandal. But he didn’t.

  What Vincent didn’t know, and what ultimately led to him losing the trial, was that Nicole had never put his name on the birth certificate. He had no proof he was indeed the father. When Vincent’s lawyers asked the judge to accept a modern paternity test that had just been introduced, their proposal was denied, on the basis that the science behind these experimental tests was yet to be proven. The only evidence the court accepted was a blood test, and although it showed that the baby’s blood type and Vincent’s were compatible, it didn’t prove, with certainty, Anne was indeed Vincent’s, and ultimately the judge ruled the results as ‘inconclusive’.

  Vincent claimed he had been kept away from his child by Nicole, who never let him see Anne, and now JJ was doing the same. He tried everything. More months passed.

  Finally, the verdict came in. Full custody would be given to JJ. Vincent didn’t even get visitation rights, and he wasn’t acknowledged as Anne’s father. It was over.

  Vincent was crushed, holding his head in his hands in the courtroom, unable to move or react. Looking at him, Dominique realized, with a pang, that she was sorry for him.

  DOMINIQUE

  24 DECEMBER 1967

  PARIS

  Finding out Anne was Vincent’s daughter had been a shock for Dominique. But in no way did it change what she felt about the child she had now come to consider her own. She took care of her and loved her unconditionally. It made Dominique smile how, although she wasn’t her flesh and blood, Anne seemed to be so much like her. She felt lucky. Despite everything, despite the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness, she was lucky to have Anne in her life. That made her realize how unhappy Vincent must feel. Whatever mistakes he’d made, he was paying for them tenfold. If he had loved Nicole, he’d lost her, just like she’d lost Alexander. Then he’d lost his child. And, if he was telling the truth and he’d loved Dominique, then he’d lost her too.

  The Sunday before Christmas, Dominique and Anne went to a farmer’s market to buy a fresh baguette and Anne’s favorite apple tart, when Dominique saw Vincent crossing the street. He walked with his head down and didn’t notice them. Dominique wanted to walk on and avoid running into him but Anne wouldn’t budge and stared with a curious expression on her face in Vincent’s direction. Dominique pulled her away.

  That night, Dominique couldn’t stop thinking about Vincent, and Anne’s reaction when she saw him. Did she have the right to keep father and daughter apart?

  The next day, at breakfast, Dominique pulled up a chair and sat next to JJ.

  ‘I know that face,’ said JJ, with a smile lifting the corner of his mouth. ‘You want to talk about something. Please, just don’t tell me you’re moving away somewhere. Anything but that.’

  ‘I saw Vincent yesterday,’ she said.

  JJ nodded casually.

  ‘He looked bad. Not bad…’ She stopped. ‘Sad mostly and lonely.’

  JJ wasn’t smiling anymore.

  ‘I know you won Anne in court and I’m not trying to make things complicated, but I think we should consider giving Vincent a chance to meet her, at least. What do you think?’

  She was convinced JJ wasn’t going to take it well.

  ‘I think you are a good, kind woman, that’s what I think,’ he said, deep in thought.

  ‘You know, I used to resent Vincent when Nicole lived in New York and spent time with him. I always thought he was behind all her messes. I should’ve known better,’ said JJ.

  He came back to the table.

  ‘Now, I feel sorry for him. It’s not his fault we ended up in this situation. He was caught in it, like the rest of us.’

  ‘Does this mean you’ll let him come visit Anne?’

  JJ smiled. ‘If you’re alright with it, I am as well.’

  *

  Christmas Eve came, the first one as an extended family. When Vincent arrived, he could barely hold it together. He was sweating and fidgeting at the thought of finally holding his child in his arms. He was terrified his daughter would cry when she saw him or even run away, he admitted to Dominique. But Anne did what she never did with anybody else. The moment she saw him, she ran to him, jumped in his arms and wouldn’t let go.

  With Anne in his arms, in between tears, Vincent looked at Dominique and mouthed a thank you.

  She nodded.

  A bit later that night, he took her aside.

  ‘You don’t know how much this means to me. It’s everything,’ he said.

  ‘I would never try to keep you away from your child. No matter what happened between us and what the court has decided. I want you to know that.’

  ‘Nicole didn’t want me in Anne’s life. Some part of her still wanted to pretend, even just to herself, that Anne was Alexander’s baby, I guess. She just wouldn’t listen to reason. I’ve been away from my baby for so long. Too long. I hope it’s not too late,’ he said, still emotional.

  ‘It’s never too late,’ she said kindly.

  He stretched out his hand to touch her arm, but immediately pulled it back.

  ‘I don’t deserve your kindness.’

  She then did what he didn’t dare. She laid her hand on his arm in a comforting way, neither of them saying anything, only smiling at Anne who was playing in the next room.

  DOMINIQUE

  1 DECEMBER 1969

  PARIS

  As time passed, Vincent and Anne’s relationship grew so deep it was as if they hadn’t been apart at all. He spent more and more time with her and Dominique, and even with JJ.

  ‘Your daughter is gorgeous. Look at those eyes,’ a woman said as she and her husband passed by Dominique, Anne and Vincent playing with a ball in Jardins des Tuileries.

  ‘Thank you,’ said both Dominique and Vincent and continued passing the ball to Anne, who ran after it and giggled every time it escaped her.

  ‘What a lovely family,’ the woman continued. ‘Just lovely,’ she said, looking at them so admiringly Dominique almost felt embarrassed.

  It wasn’t the only time it happened. To everyone who saw them together, Vincent and Dominique seemed like the happy parents of a beautiful young girl. It was a strange dynamic. While the two of them were not romantically involved, they acted as a couple, raising Anne, spending weekends together, going on vacations.

  ‘No wonder everyone thinks we’re married,’ said Dominique to Constance one day. She didn’t know if Vincent had relationships, and he never flashed any women in front of her or Anne. If he dated, he did it discreetly.

  As for Dominique, she was too busy caring for Anne and finishing her training at Institut du Patrimoine to consider any of the men who had asked her out. Besides, she loved Alexander and was convinced that going on dates would betray that love.

  All she wanted now was to finish her training and follow her dreams in the real art world. She sent in her application for curatorship to all the possible museums in Paris and waited. Weeks passed, graduation day was almost there, but she didn’t get any offers. I should’ve heard something by now, gotten at least one offer, thought Dominique, seriously worried. December 1st was the last day of school. She passed the last exam and was going to graduate in a few days. But still no sign. This had been her dream for so long, she’d never thought it wouldn’t work out.

  On the day of her gradua
tion, after four months of waiting, an envelope arrived. She was invited to interview at the Marmottan, of all museums, for the position of associate curator in charge of painting restoration.

  DOMINIQUE

  5 DECEMBER 1969

  PARIS

  It was now almost two years since Dominique and Vincent had been raising Anne together.

  A couple of weeks before Christmas, JJ called Dominique and Vincent to his office.

  ‘Please, sit down, and stop looking so worried. The reason I asked you here today is to tell you something you already know,’ he said with a smile. ‘I’m not young anymore and my health is deteriorating. For these reasons I want to make sure I deal with all the important things while I still can.’

  Dominique wanted to contradict him. You are not that old, and you are healthier than any of us, she wanted to say but she bit her tongue.

  ‘First on my list is making sure Anne will be well taken care of after I’m gone. There’s a decision that needs to be made,’ he said. Seeing Dominique’s and Vincent’s surprised reactions, he explained. ‘You two have been taking care of her better than I could’ve ever hoped for and have given her love, a real home, and a family. But when I am gone you will not have the legal right to keep her. I don’t know if you realize this.’

  Dominique had never considered the legal implications. The thought of losing Anne had never crossed her mind. But JJ was right. On paper, neither Dominique nor Vincent were anybody to Anne. She would be taken away from them if something happened.

  ‘Isn’t there something we can do, JJ? Anne belongs with us,’ said Dominique and looked over at Vincent, who nodded approvingly.

  ‘I’ve discussed this with my lawyer, and he advised we should begin the adoption procedure without delay.’

  Dominique wondered what the rush was about. Was JJ not well? He didn’t look sick.

  ‘This is what he told me,’ said JJ. ‘I will spare you the legal terms. If both of you want to adopt Anne, you need to be married, and two years after your wedding date you can request adoption – the two-year wait time requirement is waived if both of you are aged twenty-eight years old or older at the date of the request. Which is your case, thankfully,’ said JJ before continuing. ‘The other option is for only one of you to adopt Anne. Either you, Dominique,’ he said, looking at her, ‘or you, Vincent,’ he concluded, his eyes now fixated on Vincent.

  Dominique tried to wrap her head around what he had just read. She couldn’t give up Anne, and she couldn’t take her away from her father. That left her with only one option. Getting married to Vincent.

  ‘I told you it would be an important decision.’

  *

  Dominique left JJ’s feeling dazed and confused and she was sure Vincent felt the same.

  As soon as they found themselves alone, Vincent asked in a low voice, ‘We’re not even considering option two, are we?’ He seemed lost for words.

  ‘I think we shouldn’t rush it.’

  ‘But you heard JJ; we need to make a decision.’

  ‘What I need is to clear my head. I’ll go get some fresh air,’ said Dominique and left.

  She walked for hours, with no direction or purpose. When she returned home, Vincent was in the living room with Anne. They didn’t talk about it then, and both acted as if nothing had happened. As soon as they put her to bed, Vincent poured them two glasses of wine, before sitting comfortably on the sofa.

  ‘I’ve been thinking about it and I have an idea. Anne’s vacation from kindergarten begins in a couple of days, I don’t have to go back to the university for three weeks, and your new job starts in January, so how about you and I spend some time together?’

  She didn’t know what to say. Time alone? They hadn’t done that in over five years.

  ‘My parents plan to go to New York for the holidays. We can send Anne with them and we’ll them join for New Year’s. I think it would do her good to be away from Paris for a while and you know my parents adore her.’

  He was right. Anne loved her grandparents and they loved her. The only thing that worried Dominique was the prospect of spending all that time alone with Vincent.

  DOMINIQUE

  9 DECEMBER 1969, EVENING

  Issy-les-Moulineaux

  The night after Margaux took Anne to New York, Vincent invited Dominique out to dinner to one of their favorite places in Issy-les-Moulineaux.

  He ordered champagne, at which point Dominique got a bit fidgety. Something in the air made her uncomfortable.

  ‘I have been doing a lot of thinking after our talk with JJ,’ said Vincent.

  ‘Me too,’ she admitted.

  ‘I still love you. I never stopped, despite what happened. Watching you take care of Anne and seeing what a great mother you are has only made me love you more. You are the kindest and warmest person I have ever met. You and I both know, I’m sure, that according to almost all standards the three of us have been a family for the past couple of years, a happy one. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, or without Anne, and I think we have a great thing going,’ he said. ‘I want us to get married. For Anne, for us, for our family.’

  Dominique wasn’t ready for such a declaration. She hadn’t realized he still loved her, not in that way anyhow. She didn’t speak for a couple of minutes, sipping her champagne, trying to buy some time while thinking about how she should phrase what she wanted to say.

  ‘Our time together has been good, you’re right, and you and I make a good team. We’re doing a great job raising Anne together. And I do care about you, Vincent, and in a way, I do love you—’ She stopped and looked into his eyes knowing what she was about to say would hurt him. ‘But I don’t love you like you want me to. I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry, I—’

  He interrupted her. ‘I don’t expect you to love me the way I love you. I think there is still someone else in your heart, Dominique, even after all this time. I am aware of it, and I’m not lying to myself. But to hear that you love me too, in your own way, is more than I could have hoped for. For now, it’s enough that I love you. And who knows what might happen in time?’

  He took out a small jewelry box from his pocket and placed it carefully in front of her. ‘I don’t want an answer right now. I would be happy if you would wear the ring as a sign that you’re thinking about it.’

  She looked at him, unable to speak, moved – almost to tears – by his speech and love for her. Dominique put the ring on her finger, and he got up and kissed her on the cheek, then raised his glass and, with a big smile on his face, toasted to ‘Anything can happen.’

  DOMINIQUE

  9 DECEMBER 1969, NIGHT

  PARIS

  Dominique couldn’t sleep. What was she going to do? How could she decide?

  She put on a warm jacket, winter boots and rushed to the metro station. It wasn’t too late. She could still catch a train to Père-Lachaise.

  It was dark, and the wind was picking up. They announced a blizzard on the radio.

  When she arrived, it was almost midnight and there was no one else in the cemetery.

  She blew the snow off the stone, gently, carefully just like she had that morning.

  ‘I feel so lonely. So tired. What am I going to do? I don’t know how to go on without you. I don’t want to go on without you. It’s been five years. Today. I did what everyone wanted me to do. I went back out there. I went back to school; I did it for Anne. I know she’s not your child, but to me, she’s mine and I would do anything for her. But this? What am I going to do now? How could I possibly marry Vincent? I still I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. I can’t shake this feeling that if I marry him, I would be betraying you, forgetting you. I feel you’re out there, somewhere. I don’t believe you’re gone. Am I losing my mind? Everyone seems to think so.’

  She sat in the snow.

  ‘Can you hear me? Please, please, if you can hear me. If you’re out there, somewhere, please help me. Help me understand why I’ve been feeling this
way since that day. Why I can’t move on. I know you tried to tell me something. Why can’t I understand it?’

  She forced herself to remember the reverie. The dream she had when she woke up in the hospital, after the plane crash. She had tried so many times, but maybe never with so much desperation as that night. She was at a crossroads and if she couldn’t remember then, it would be too late. She’d be losing him forever and she couldn’t do that.

  Dominique closed her eyes and lay down in the snow. It was so cold. But it was also peaceful and quiet. So quiet. Slowly, she stopped being cold. She stopped shivering.

  The dream. The reverie. It was coming back to her.

  And in her dream, she opened her eyes. No, it wasn’t her. It was him. He opened his eyes. He was lying in a bed. A hospital bed. He couldn’t move and couldn’t speak. There were nurses and doctors around and they kept asking what his name was, but he couldn’t tell them. Why not? What was wrong with him? His head hurt so much and he just wanted to get out of there but couldn’t move. He needed to leave; he knew he had to be somewhere else but didn’t know where. And he panicked, not only because he didn’t know how sick he was but also because he felt lost in that world. He was angry and started screaming for them to let go. Why were they holding him? They needed to let him go.

  ‘I need to get out of here; I shouldn’t be here. I need to get out. I shouldn’t be here.’

  Suddenly, something grabbed Dominique, and she was floating. A bright light shone in her eyes. Noises. Loud noises.

  ‘Does she have a pulse?’

  ‘Weak. Temperature is twenty-eight degrees. Breathing is shallow. We’re losing her.’

  Silence. Peace.

  ‘Dominique? It’s me. Dominique, can you hear me?’

  She recognized JJ’s voice.

  ‘Can you open your eyes?’