A Grimm Warning

by Chris Colfer

  “What’s happening?” Emmerich shouted. He covered his ears and looked around the hall in absolute horror.

  Suddenly a bright flash of light appeared between the two pillars in the center of the platform. The light grew and started to swirl; the larger it became, the faster it spun. Soon the entire back of the hall was covered in the light.

  “Oh no,” Conner said, and locked eyes with Bree. “It works! We can access it from our side. That means the portal has re-opened and the French soldiers are—”

  The three of them jolted forward against their will. The light had abruptly turned into a swirling vortex and was pulling them inside it.

  “Run!” Conner yelled.

  The three of them ran for the other side of the hall, but the vortex’s pull was too strong. Emmerich grabbed Bree, Bree grabbed Conner, and Conner grabbed one of the candelabras bolted to the wall. They dangled in the air as the vortex only grew stronger. Emmerich lost his hold on Bree, Bree lost her grasp of Conner, and Conner’s grip slipped from the candelabra.

  All three of them flew through the air and were sucked into the circling light. Conner, Bree, and Emmerich disappeared into the vortex and vanished from Neuschwanstein Castle.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  THE EVICTED QUEEN

  The weeks following the Fairy Inaugural Ball turned out to be quite enjoyable for Alex. She attended the Fairy Council meetings every day, she rode Cornelius on her daily trips around the kingdoms to see who needed the helping hand of a fairy, and then she spent the evenings going on long walks with Rook through the woods. She couldn’t decide which part of her day she liked best—except on the days when their walks ended with a good-night kiss: Then the walk was definitely her favorite part.

  After weeks of agonizing over the ball and days spent worrying about Rook, Alex was so happy she could finally enjoy herself again. It had been so long since she was content about anything she had almost forgotten what relief felt like. She had been so occupied she hadn’t even thought to ask Conner how his trip to Germany was.

  However, as enjoyable as her carefree days were, she knew they were most likely limited. And one afternoon Alex received a letter from Red that proved just that.

  Dearest Alex,

  Congratulations on graduating Fairy School or whatever it was you’ve recently accomplished—I’m very proud of you! I’m positive you’ll be a wonderful addition to the League of Fairies or whatever it is you’re a part of now.

  I’m writing to you because I need a favor. That dreadful Peep woman has struck again! She convinced the House of Progress to organize a debate between us before the polls open tomorrow afternoon. Isn’t that the most barbaric thing you’ve ever heard of? What kind of kingdom wants to watch their ruler defend herself against a series of vicious personal attacks on her character? Do the words nobility and grace not go hand in hand anymore?

  Anyway, I was wondering, if you weren’t too busy with Fairy Court, if you wouldn’t mind attending the debates in my support. Having a fairy publicly on my side would do a lot for my image, and when the election results come in tomorrow evening and Little Bo Peep loses, you can turn her into a pumpkin and we can take turns smashing her with a sledgehammer.

  Warmest wishes,

  Her Majesty, Queen Red Riding Hood of the Red Riding Hood Kingdom

  P.S. Charlie says hello. He’s been guiding me through all of this campaign ridiculousness. I convinced the House of Progress to let him moderate the debate. He hopes to see you, too!

  The letter had been delivered personally by one of Red’s messengers and he looked very tired after traveling all night to deliver it.

  “Please tell Queen Red I’ll be there.” Alex sighed.

  Later that evening, Alex told Rook about the letter while they were on their walk.

  “Are you going to tell Red what we saw in Little Bo’s barn?” Rook asked her.

  “No, I don’t think I will,” Alex said. “I can’t fault Little Bo for not having noble intentions when Red doesn’t exactly have the noblest intentions, either.”

  “So does that mean I won’t be seeing you for our walk tomorrow?” Rook asked, making sad-puppy eyes at her.

  “Probably not,” Alex said. “But I’ll see you the day after.”

  “That’s all right, my father and I are pulling weeds tomorrow and that usually takes up the majority of the day.” Rook let out a pitiful laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” Alex asked.

  “I just compared our days in my head,” Rook said. “You’re going to be part of an election that will change a kingdom’s future and I’m pulling weeds.”

  “We all do our part,” Alex teased. “But if it’s any consolation, Red’s problems are a lot like weeds. No matter how many times you pull them, they just keep coming back.”

  The following afternoon Alex rode Cornelius into the Red Riding Hood Kingdom and arrived in town just as the debate was about to begin. From a distance it looked like the entire kingdom had been painted red, but when Alex got closer she realized it wasn’t paint the town was covered in. Every shop, home, and tree was covered in Red’s campaign posters.

  The majority of them said VOTE FOR QUEEN RED and had a sketch of Red on them. Others were a bit catchier and said KEEP THE KINGDOM FED, VOTE FOR QUEEN RED or, A KINGDOM THIS GREAT MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT, VOTE FOR QUEEN RED. Others completely slandered Little Bo and said DON’T BE A CREEP, DON’T VOTE FOR PEEP or, more subtly, PEEP LOSES SHEEP.

  Alex tried to find posters in Little Bo’s favor but couldn’t see any. She clearly wasn’t campaigning as hard as Red, or perhaps all her posters had been covered by Red’s.

  The park in the center of the kingdom was lined with voting booths. Two podiums were set up on the House of Progress’s front steps where most of the kingdom had gathered on the ground below. The representatives were seated at the bottom of the steps, privileged to have front-row seats to the debate.

  Alex let Cornelius graze in the park and met Froggy at the steps. He paced around nervously, holding a stack of cards in his hands.

  “Is she ready for this?” Alex asked him.

  “As ready as she can be. I’ve been coaching her all week.”

  “I’m sure you were an amazing teacher,” Alex said, and put a hand on his shoulder.

  “I really love Red and I think she’s an amazing queen in her own way,” he said. “Her confidence is contagious and it’s good for the kingdom. Getting others to see it that way is the challenge.”

  Queen Red and Little Bo emerged from inside the House of Progress and were greeted by warm applause as they walked down the steps to their respective podiums. Red moved a little faster than Little Bo and walked in front of her, taking in all the applause for herself.

  Alex had a seat with the representatives and Froggy addressed the crowd.

  “Hello, Hoodians, and welcome to the first electoral debate in the history of the Red Riding Hood Kingdom,” Froggy said. “Our candidates will each be given a chance to express why they feel deserving of your votes and then we will conclude the debate with questions submitted by citizens from around the kingdom. Let’s begin!”

  Froggy took his position on the lower steps below the podiums and the debate began. Queen Red was the first to try to persuade the kingdom to vote for her.

  “Fellow Hoodians,” she declared. “That has such a nice ring to it, don’t you think? What will you be called if Little Bo sits on the throne—the Peepers? I bet you would dislike that as much as I would dislike it. Now I know my opponent is going to spend the next few minutes telling you all she understands you and she’s one of you and blah, blah, blah… and you know what, she’s right!”

  The citizens were shocked to hear Red take this approach. Alex was afraid of where she was taking this.

  “Little Bo Peep is just like you. And I couldn’t be more different from you,” Red continued. “But that’s how you like your queen! You want your queen to represent you, not be one of you. That’s why I was elected
queen when I was a little girl, because as a young innocent victim I symbolized you. And now that our kingdom has become the prosperous nation it is today, I symbolize that. When other kingdoms think about the Red Riding Hood Kingdom, do you want them thinking about a leader who carries around a staff and probably does her own cooking and cleaning? No! You want them thinking of a rich and beautiful and fearless queen because that is what the Red Riding Hood Kingdom is! Thank you.”

  Red finished her speech and struck a pose with her hands in the air. Her citizens had been trained well enough by now to know they were supposed to applaud whenever she did this.

  Little Bo cleared her throat; it was her turn to convince the citizens to vote for her.

  “The reason I didn’t put campaign posters up is the same reason I won’t bore you with a long speech now: It’s a waste of time,” Little Bo said. “Queen Red may waste your time and your resources, but I will not.”

  A quiet whispering broke out through the crowd. Red was appalled by Little Bo’s response. She kept looking into the crowd expecting someone to say Little Bo was breaking the rules. Little Bo stayed as calm and collected as ever. She definitely wasn’t the emotional mess Alex had seen in the barn a few weeks earlier. Red was desperate to get the crowd back on her side.

  “May I just remind everyone that when I was younger and surviving horrendous attacks by wild creatures, Miss High-and-Mighty over there couldn’t even keep track of her own sheep!” Red said. “And then her own sheep felt so sorry for her they came back, wagging their tails behind them, so she wouldn’t feel so pathetic. And now this woman wants to be queen.”

  The spectators hooted and hollered at Red’s feisty response—the debate was getting interesting. Froggy slapped his hand against his forehead. Alex could tell he had tried coaching her against having outbursts like this.

  “For the queen’s information, I lost my flock of sheep one time and it was a traumatic experience that inspired me to single-handedly turn my family’s farms into the most productive in the kingdom,” Little Bo stated. “We are now the number one wool-producing business in the world and, thanks to the flawless counting system I invented, my farm has never lost a sheep since.”

  Red greeted this response with an impressive eye roll. “Well, if traumatic experiences make someone a bigger person, I’m surprised I even fit through the doors of my own castle,” she said. “I was inside the stomach of the Big Bad Wolf—inside him! Surely that deserves a little more credit than just being absentminded—”

  “You walked into that forest wearing a bright red cape and carrying a basket of freshly baked goods,” Little Bo interrupted. “You were asking to be attacked by a wolf, and then we elected you queen. If a fish jumped into a boat with a hook in its mouth, would we have elected him king?”

  A sprinkling of people in the crowd grunted their protest, feeling Little Bo was insulting their judgment now. Red quickly milked this for all it was worth.

  “Are you telling the Hoodian people here today that they were wrong to elect me queen?” Red asked.

  Little Bo’s eyes darted around the crowd, who grew more insulted by the second. It was her turn to get them back on her side.

  “What I’m trying to say is, Queen Red may have been a symbol at one point, but the Big Bad Wolves are gone now,” Little Bo said. “The times have changed and so should the leader of this kingdom. The kingdom may have needed a symbol then, but we need a ruler now.”

  A hush fell over the crowd. The citizens started to look at Little Bo differently now, not just as someone brave enough to challenge the queen, but as a true leader.

  “Let’s read some of the questions,” Froggy said. “We’ll start with Queen Red and then Little Bo will follow. The first question is, How will you help the farmers whose crops freeze in the winter?”

  Red perked up like she knew the perfect answer. “Not only would I supply the farmers with coats, I would supply their crops with coats as well,” she said happily.

  The entire crowd squinted at her—was she serious?

  “I would supply the farmers with mulch to give their crops a better chance of withstanding the cold as well as barrels of heated water to keep the crops from freezing over,” Little Bo said. The citizens nodded to one another—they liked her answer better. Froggy moved on to the next question.

  “Now Little Bo will answer first, followed by Queen Red,” he prefaced. “How will you make school a more meaningful experience for the children of our kingdom?”

  Little Bo was prepared with an answer. “You can only learn so much in a classroom,” she said. “I would invite the children to my farm or have them visit the shops in town so they can experience different workplaces before choosing a field to go into—and it would give our poor overworked teachers a rest once in a while.”

  This answer was welcomed with a soft round of applause from the teachers in the crowd. Red thought about her answer before giving it.

  “Actually, I like her answer,” she said with a confident nod. “Yes, I would do the same.”

  Alex sighed—she didn’t think this was going to end well for her friend.

  “Next question,” Froggy said, and flipped to the next card. “Queen Red will answer first. What is your take on national security?”

  Red placed her index finger over her mouth while she formed an answer. Alex crossed her fingers, hoping she would deliver an answer the citizens could get behind.

  “I like it!” was all Red said, and a large smile grew on her face.

  Alex covered her eyes; it was like watching a carriage wreck. A few citizens even laughed at Red. Little Bo waited a moment before answering the question herself, letting Red’s embarrassment marinate.

  “I believe the key to national security is having a strong army,” Little Bo said. “No kingdom has ever experienced a downfall because it was too strong.”

  The Hoodian citizens started a round of healthy applause for Little Bo. “Bo Peep! Bo Peep! Bo Peep!” the crowd chanted. “Bo Peep! Bo Peep!”

  Red looked sadly over her citizens; she didn’t understand where she had gone wrong. Froggy immediately concluded the debate before it got worse for her.

  “We’d like to thank you all for joining us in this debate,” Froggy said. “Please cast your vote in one of the many voting booths in the park.”

  While the citizens voted for a queen, Alex and Froggy kept Red company in the library of her castle. They were all on pins and needles waiting to hear the results of the election. Alex and Froggy sat in the large comfy chairs by the fireplace but Red had been pacing for hours since they’d returned from the debate. Clawdius watched her sadly from a corner of the room, looking as if he wished there was something he could do.

  “Little Bo is a pain in the shepherdess!” Red shouted, loud enough for her whole castle to hear. “She’d never be half the queen I am. Would she have been chased by a pack of wolves and lived to tell the tale? No! Would she have gotten into a flying ship and sailed around the world trying to save it? No! Could she have chopped down a beanstalk to save her citizens from being devoured by a giant man-eating cat? No! Would she have refused to surrender her kingdom to the Enchantress? No! Does anyone except me remember the things I’ve done for this country?”

  “Maybe they do, darling,” Froggy said. “You have to be patient and hear what the results are. Don’t declare your defeat yet.”

  “Your people might have more faith in you than you have in them,” Alex said. “Just believe in them as much as they’ve always believed in you.”

  This comforted Red a little bit and the distance of her pacing shortened. There was a knock on the door and the third Little Pig entered the room. Froggy and Alex stood from their seats and Red stopped pacing altogether.

  “Good evening, Your Majesty,” he said.

  “Have the votes been counted?” Froggy asked.

  “Yes, they have,” the third Little Pig said.

  The room grew uncomfortably tense and Red didn’t know what else
to do but laugh. “Good,” she said, pretending it wasn’t a big deal. “Has all this election business finally been settled, then? Can we let Little Bo Peep know that I’m here to stay?”

  The third Little Pig hesitated to respond and Alex and Froggy knew it hadn’t gone in her favor. Red was about to hear the worst news of her life.

  “Actually, Little Bo Peep has been elected the new queen,” the pig said.

  Red fell into the closest seat and clutched her chest; her heart had just broken into a million pieces. “I’m sorry,” she said, trying to fight the tears forming in her eyes. “Can you repeat that?”

  “Little Bo Peep has been elected the new queen, ma’am,” the pig said again.

  Froggy had a seat next to Red and held her hand tightly. Alex placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. Clawdius came and sat by her feet. Even though Red had heard the news twice she still had a hard time comprehending it.

  “This isn’t possible,” Red said, shaking her head. “This is my kingdom. It has my name, after all.”

  “Actually, ma’am, the kingdom is going to be re-named,” the pig told her regretfully, as if she hadn’t heard enough bad news already.

  “To what?” Alex asked.

  “The Bo Peep Republic.”

  Red forced a laugh again. “Well, that’s a ridiculous name,” she said, desperately needing to make light of the situation for her own good.

  “When does Little Bo officially take over?” Froggy asked.

  “In one week,” the pig said. “She’s kindly asked that Red Riding Hood have all of her belongings out of the castle by then.”

  Even Red couldn’t hold a stoic face after hearing this. She burst into tears and buried her face in Froggy’s shoulder.

  “I’ll give you a moment to yourselves,” the pig said, and left the room.

  Sometimes it was difficult to be around Red when she was happy, but Alex had never expected it would be so painful to watch her be so miserable. Red sobbed for the rest of the evening. Her spirit had been broken and Alex was afraid it might never be salvaged.