A Grimm Warning

by Chris Colfer

  “Rosette! Violetta! Coral!” he called to the remaining fairies. “Before the Elf Empire was attacked, they agreed to help us—we have more than enough men here but since they didn’t arrive with us I assume it means they’re still fighting the Grande Armée in their own territory. I want the three of you to take as many troblins as possible to the Elf Empire and help them.”

  Rosette couldn’t stop herself from shaking her head at his request. “You want us to help the elves? But they would be outraged if we showed up—”

  “They can file a complaint later!” Conner said. “We’ve got to get rid of all these guys no matter how many bridges we burn!”

  Rosette, Coral, and Violetta shrugged and agreed to the task.

  “All right, troblins, everyone grab hands and hold on tightly,” Coral instructed.

  The Troblin Army joined hands and formed three groups, one around each fairy. They slowly disappeared into sparkling clouds of colorful dust as they traveled to the Elf Empire. Trollbella had joined hands with them, too, but Conner grabbed her and Gator out of the group before they disappeared with the others.

  “Not you, Trollbella!” Conner said. “I want you, Gator, and the remaining troblins to wait by the Fairy Palace. It’ll be safest there.”

  Trollbella looked at him like it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever told her. “Even during war, my safety is your biggest concern,” she said. “I feel your love like a warm blanket over my body, Butter—”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah—just go!” Conner pushed her and Gator toward the palace.

  “Everyone take cover!” Emerelda screamed. She couldn’t hold off the bullets and the cannons anymore and collapsed to her knees. The sheet of emerald light faded as quickly as it had appeared. The armies of the Happily Ever After Assembly took cover behind trees and boulders as they moved to their positions between the Grande Armée and the gardens.

  Conner jumped back onto Lester, and with one large flap of his wings, Lester flew the twins to Emerelda’s side. Alex pointed her wand at the soldiers shooting at them and their rifles turned into large snakes that wrapped around their hands.

  Emerelda was so exhausted she could barely stand. The twins helped her to her feet and placed her on Lester’s back.

  “Lester, take Emerelda to the Fairy Palace,” Alex said.

  The gander squawked and took off with the green fairy draped across his back. Conner looked around the gardens and saw that most of the armies had made it to their assigned posts.

  “Now what do we do?” Alex asked her brother.

  “We’ll get the royals and our friends to safety,” Conner said.

  The twins ran toward the front of the gardens where the carriages and poles had been placed.

  “Kill them!” the general demanded as the twins charged toward them.

  “But sir, they’re children,” Colonel Rembert said.

  “If they want to fight like men, then they can die like men,” General Marquis said. “Now fire!”

  The Grande Armée soldiers around him guarding the captive royals pointed their rifles directly at the twins. Alex raised her wand and waved it toward their feet. Vines like leafy nets shot out of the ground and pulled the general and his men to the earth. They struggled against the vines but Alex knew they wouldn’t hold them down for long.

  “Good job, Alex!” Froggy said.

  “Nice one!” Jack said.

  “Untie me first!” Red cried.

  Alex pointed her wand at her brother’s palm and a long, shiny, silver sword appeared in his hand. He used the sword to slice open the ropes binding Froggy’s and Red’s hands together first. As Conner cut the ropes, Alex stood guard.

  Several Grande Armée soldiers ran to their general’s aid and Alex swished her wand through the air at them. Their rifles were transformed into long-stemmed roses that pricked their fingers before they could shoot.

  “Jack,” Goldilocks whispered to her husband, who was tied next to her.

  “Yes, my love?”

  “I have something I need to tell you, and now might be the only chance I get.”

  “This may be the worst predicament we’ve been in yet, but there’s no need for good-bye,” he said.

  “No, that’s not it,” Goldilocks said. “It’s what I kept from you on the secret path. Jack, I’m pregnant.”

  As if the world had suddenly been paused, Jack lost all sense of sound and thought. All he could see was his beautiful wife beside him and all he could think about was the beautiful news she had shared with him.

  “What?” Jack said with an enormous smile. “You mean it?”

  Goldilocks smiled and happily nodded. “Yes—does it make you happy?”

  Jack laughed and tears filled his eyes. “Even though we just barely survived an execution and war is all around us, you’ve made me the happiest man in the world,” he said.

  Conner ran to Jack and Goldilocks next and sliced open the ropes around their hands and feet. “You two look way too happy to be in the middle of a war right now,” he said, and stared at them oddly.

  “Alex, do you mind supplying us with hardware?” Goldilocks asked, and she and Jack held out their empty hands. Alex flicked her wand at each of them and supplied them with a sword and an axe.

  “We’ll finish untying the royals; you two get the kids to safety,” Jack told the twins. He gestured to the carriage behind them, where Bree and Emmerich were trapped inside. The carriage door had been locked but Conner sliced it open with his sword in one strike—he was impressing himself with this sword business.

  “Conner! It’s so good to see you!” Bree threw her arms around his neck.

  “Are you guys all right?” Conner asked his friends.

  “Besides jumping out of our skin with fear, we’re fine,” Emmerich said with large eyes.

  He was holding Princess Ash in his arms and Bree helped Princess Hope out of the carriage after her. Conner whistled for Lester and the goose returned from the palace in a matter of seconds. “Lester, take these four to the palace, too! Make sure they get inside safely—they mean a lot to me.”

  Lester saluted him with the tip of his wing and crouched down so Bree and Emmerich could climb aboard his back.

  “Are you coming?” Bree asked Conner.

  “I’ll be there soon.” He winked at her. “But don’t worry.”

  “Impossible,” she said.

  It made Conner feel like a million bucks but he knew this was no time to be sentimental. He nodded at Lester and the goose took off toward the palace with his friends before Bree could see him blush again. Bree and Emmerich held on to the little princesses tightly as they flew. Conner watched them go until he saw them land safely on the grand balcony in the distance.

  Sounds of gunfire and cannons came less and less as the Grande Armée began running out of bullets and cannonballs. Most of the French soldiers tossed their firearms aside and charged toward the gardens with their swords. The Happily Ever After Assembly armies ran out from the trees and boulders shielding them and fought them. The echoes of gunfire were replaced with the clashing of swords—the real fight had begun.

  Jack and Goldilocks sliced through all the ropes binding the kings and queens to the poles. Little Bo was the last one freed, but being saved seemed like the last thing on her mind. She searched the rows of Grande Armée soldiers surrounding the gardens as if she had lost someone in a crowd. Once Jack cut through the ropes around her wrists, she ran straight into the gardens with no explanation of where she was going.

  “Come back! It’s not safe!” Froggy yelled at her.

  “We should have kept her tied up,” Red said.

  “I think she may be in shock,” Froggy said. “Come on, dear—we have to catch her before she gets herself killed!”

  “Do we have to—or is it just the right thing to do?” Red asked with a snide look. Before she could argue anymore, Froggy pulled Red into the gardens with him, determined to save the queen.

  Cinderella and Sleeping Bea
uty ran to the carriage their daughters had been placed in and were alarmed to see they weren’t there anymore.

  “Where are the girls?” Cinderella asked desperately, looking at the trees around them.

  “Don’t worry, I sent them with my friends, back to the palace,” Conner said. “They’re safe.”

  “Oh, thank the stars,” Sleeping Beauty said, and placed a hand on Cinderella’s shoulder. Their postures sank almost a foot knowing their daughters were safe.

  “We should escort the kings and queens to the palace, too,” Goldilocks suggested.

  “No! We said we wanted to help our armies fight and we meant it!” Snow White insisted.

  All the kings and queens nodded eagerly along with her.

  “Your Majesties, with all due respect, this is an actual war and a few roadside lessons with large sticks is no match for what we’re fighting tonight,” Jack said.

  Rapunzel quickly turned to Conner. “Was it true about our people fighting off the Grande Armée at home?” she asked him, and the question gained all the royals’ attention. “We heard soldiers talking about it when we were taken prisoner, but is it true?”

  “Yes,” Conner told them. “You should be very proud of your citizens—they kind of rock.”

  The kings and queens looked at one another and the same confident smirks appeared on their faces. “Then I have no plans of seeking refuge,” Chance told the group. “If our people could be so brave, then we can as well!”

  The general and the soldiers lying on the ground started breaking through the vines holding them. Alex waved her wand and more vines grew, but there wasn’t time for Jack and Goldilocks or the twins to argue with the eager royals.

  “All right, we’ll lead our own little fleet into battle,” Goldilocks said. “But everyone follow closely behind us and watch each other’s backs!”

  “Don’t go unprotected!” Alex pointed her wand at each of them and swords and shields appeared in their hands.

  “I never thought I would ever say this, but let’s fight!” Cinderella raised her sword in the air. The other kings and queens did the same and Jack and Goldilocks led them into the gardens to fight alongside their armies.

  Conner looked around the gardens. The Happily Ever After Assembly armies were now fighting the Grande Armée soldiers all over the gardens. It was hard to tell which soldier belonged to which kingdom. They were doing well holding the enemy back, but the troblins at the front steps of the palace looked very worried as the battle crept toward them.

  “We should get to the palace and help the troblins,” Conner said.

  “I agree—” Alex nodded, but something suddenly distracted her. A persistent beating noise was coming from somewhere close behind her.

  “Alex! Help me!” said a familiar voice.

  Alex followed the sound and found Rook. He had been locked in one of the carriages. Her heart dropped and she immediately went to free him.

  “Rook? What are you doing here?” Alex asked. “How did you get inside the… carriage?”

  Before she could finish asking the question it suddenly dawned on her. Other than the fairies and her brother, Rook was the only person who had witnessed the kings and queens being sent down the secret path.

  “Alex! Please let me out!” Rook pleaded.

  All the color drained from her face and she didn’t move. Her hand had been a second away from unlocking the latch. “It was you,” she gasped. “You told the general about the secret path.”

  Although she knew there was no other possible explanation, Alex prayed she was wrong. She wished for the first time in history there could be an alternative version to the truth.

  Rook didn’t even try to deny it. “Yes, it was me, but I didn’t have a choice!”

  She burst into tears as her heart burst into pieces. He was the person she had thought she could depend on for anything. She had never allowed someone so deep inside her heart before. The joy she had thought was evolving into love was just the foreshadowing of a stab in the back.

  “I can’t believe this,” she sobbed. “I trusted you, Rook! I trusted you!”

  Tears formed in Rook’s eyes seeing her so hurt. “Alex, I never meant to betray you! You have to listen to me—my father was hurt so I told the general where the secret path was so he could get help! Now please, you have to let me out—there’s something the general is planning that I have to tell you about—”

  “How am I supposed to trust you now?” she asked.

  “Alex! Behind you!” Conner shouted.

  Alex turned around and saw a dozen Grande Armée soldiers sneaking up behind her. Half of them cut the general and his men free from the vines and the other half came at the twins with their weapons raised. Without thinking, Alex took her heartbreak out on the soldiers charging at her. She cracked her wand like a whip and a burst of white light sent the soldiers flying into the air.

  Conner was just as terrified as he was impressed. “Alex?” he said meekly.

  “I don’t know what came over me…,” Alex said breathlessly. “I… I… I just hurt all of those men!”

  “Alex, it’s all right!” Conner said, and cautiously approached his sister. “They were about to do the same to you!”

  Alex’s eyes darted around the gardens. In a matter of seconds she had completely lost sight of who she was. The anger and heartbreak consuming her had turned her into another person entirely.

  The soldiers finished cutting the vines around the general and his men.

  “Let’s get to the palace now!” Conner said.

  “Alex, please let me out!” Rook pleaded.

  Freeing him was the last thing Alex wanted to do. She pointed her wand at the carriage door and five more latches appeared.

  “No, Alex!” Rook said. “Don’t do this! I have to tell you about the—”

  “I never want to see you again,” she told him.

  Conner ran up to his sister and grabbed her arm. They dashed into the gardens ahead and disappeared from Rook’s view.

  General Marquis got to his feet and brushed off the vines. He looked at the battle around him and his nostrils flared. His men were horribly outnumbered. It was only a matter of minutes before the Grande Armée would be defeated entirely.

  “Colonel Rembert!” he cried out.

  “Yes, General?” Rembert said, running up to him.

  “It’s time we started phase two of our plan,” the general ordered. “Get the Masked Man! Tell him to bring the dragon here at once! It’s time we finished this war.”

  The thought of the dragon surfacing sent shivers down Rembert’s spine. “Yes, sir,” he said.

  The twins zigzagged through the gardens, headed for the palace. Alex was crying so hard she couldn’t run anymore and fell behind a giant patch of daisies. Conner kneeled down beside her and she buried her face into his shoulder.

  “I’m assuming Rook was more than a friend,” Conner said, and wiped his sister’s tears with the corner of his shirt.

  “Oh, Conner, I feel so stupid,” she said. “This is all my fault! I let my heart get in the way of my head and it almost got our friends killed!”

  “Hey, hey, hey,” he said. “Everything’s okay. We got to them and everyone is safe—as safe as possible, that is.”

  “I feel like a piece of glass that’s been stepped on,” Alex cried. “I feel so broken inside I don’t know how to be myself anymore. Now I understand why Ezmia was the way she was—you saw what I did to those soldiers! I’m no better than she was.”

  Conner pulled his sister up so he could look her directly in the eye. “Alex, stop talking like that!” he said. “You are not going to let one stupid boy who needs a haircut change who you are, do you understand me? The Alex I know would kick herself for even saying something like that! Ezmia was a whiny and narcissistic wench and you will never be her no matter what happens to you. Now you’re going to snap out of it and we’re going to help our friends win this war!”

  Alex sat up and slowly no
dded. “All right,” she said.

  “Good. Now let’s get to the palace and help the troblins.”

  He helped his sister to her feet and they continued through the gardens. Everywhere they looked they saw that the battle was persisting—but from the looks of it, the Happily Ever After Assembly was winning!

  They saw seven Grande Armée soldiers surround Skylene with their swords exposed. Just as they went in for the kill, Skylene spun her hands above her head and the water from a nearby pond jetted at the soldiers like an enormous fire hose.

  Soldiers chased Tangerina through the gardens and cornered her against a tall hedge wall. They raised their rifles at her and she raised her hands toward them. A thousand angry bees flew out of her sleeves and beehive and attacked the men. They fell to the ground as the bees stung them over and over again. A smirk appeared on Tangerina’s face—it was almost therapeutic for her.

  Cannons were aimed at Xanthous and the Charming Army fighting alongside him. Small balls of fire grew in Xanthous’s hands and he threw them at the cannons, causing them to explode before they could be set off. The men around him cheered and one burned himself when he tried to pat Xanthous on the back.

  The fairies who lived in the gardens did their part, too. Fairies of all sizes pulled the soldiers’ pants down or stole their hats as they wandered by. Some fairies even enchanted the giant plants in the gardens to grab the soldiers with their leaves and hold them tightly against their stems.

  The twins saw Goldilocks and the queens go back to back as they fought off a group of Frenchmen circling them. The soldiers were cocky and laughed at the women challenging them.

  “We’ll do that trick I taught you in the Northern Kingdom meadow—on three,” Goldilocks instructed the women. “One, two, three!”

  The women dove to the ground and somersaulted into the soldiers, knocking them down. Two soldiers scuttled to their feet but Cinderella and Snow White tripped them using Rapunzel’s hair.

  “Well done, Your Majesty!” Sir Lampton called across the gardens.