Cecilia; Or, Memoirs of an Heiress — Volume 2

by Fanny Burney

  CHAPTER iii. -- AN ACCOMMODATION.

  Cecilia was informed the next morning that a young woman begged to speakwith her, and upon sending for her up stairs, she saw, to her greatsurprise, Miss Belfield.

  She came in fear and trembling, sent, she said, by her mother, toentreat her pardon for what had passed the preceding day; "But I know,madam," she added, "you cannot pardon it, and therefore all that I meanto do is to clear my brother from any share in what was said, for indeedhe has too much sense to harbour any such presumption; and to thank youwith a most grateful heart for all the goodness you have shewn us."

  And then, modestly courtsying, she would have returned home; butCecilia, much touched by her gentleness, took her hand, and kindlyreviving her by assurances of esteem, entreated that she would lengthenher stay.

  "How good is this, madam," said she, "after having so much reason tothink so ill of me and of all of us I tried all in my power to undeceivemy mother, or at least to keep her quiet; but she was so much persuadedshe was right, that she never would listen to me, and always said, did Isuppose it was for me you condescended to come so often?"

  "Yes," answered Cecilia, "most undoubtedly; had I not known you, howeverwell I might have wished your brother, I should certainly not havevisited at his house. But I am very happy to hear the mistake had spreadno further."

  "No indeed, madam, I never once thought of it; and as to my brother,when my mother only hinted it to him, he was quite angry. But thoughI don't mean to vindicate what has happened, you will not, I hope, bedispleased if I say my mother is much more pardonable than she seems tobe, for the same mistake she made with you, she would have been as aptto have made with a princess; it was not, therefore, from any want ofrespect, but merely from thinking my brother might marry as high as hepleased, and believing no lady would refuse him, if he would but havethe courage to speak."

  Cecilia assured her she would think no more of the error, but told herthat to avoid its renewal, she must decline calling upon her again tillher brother was gone. She begged therefore to see her in Portman-squarewhenever she had leisure, repeatedly assuring her of her good opinionand regard, and of the pleasure with which she should seize everyopportunity of shewing them.

  Delighted by a reception so kind, Miss Belfield remained with her allthe morning; and when at last she was obliged to leave her, she was buttoo happy in being solicited to repeat her visit.

  She suffered one day only to elapse before she shewed her readiness toaccept the friendship that was offered her; and Cecilia, much pleased bythis eagerness, redoubled her efforts to oblige and to serve her.

  From this time, hardly a day passed in which she did not call inPortman-square, where nothing in her reception was omitted that couldcontribute to her contentment. Cecilia was glad to employ her mind inany way that related not to Delvile, whom she now earnestly endeavouredto think of no more, denying herself even the pleasure of talking of himwith Miss Belfield, by the name of her brother's noble friend.

  During this time she devised various methods, all too delicate togive even the shadow of offence, for making both useful and ornamentalpresents to her new favourite, with whom she grew daily more satisfied,and to whom she purposed hereafter offering a residence in her ownhouse.

  The trial of intimacy, so difficult to the ablest to stand, and fromwhich even the most faultless are so rarely acquitted, Miss Belfieldsustained with honour. Cecilia found her artless, ingenuous, andaffectionate; her understanding was good, though no pains had been takento improve it; her disposition though ardent was soft, and her mindseemed informed by intuitive integrity.

  She communicated to Cecilia all the affairs of her family, disguisingfrom her neither distress nor meanness, and seeking to palliate nothingbut the grosser parts of the character of her mother. She seemed equallyready to make known to her even the most chosen secrets of her ownbosom, for that such she had was evident, from a frequent appearanceof absence and uneasiness which she took but little trouble to conceal.Cecilia, however, trusted not herself, in the present critical situationof her own mind, with any enquiries that might lead to a subject she wasconscious she ought not to dwell upon; a short time, she hoped, wouldtotally remove her suspence; but as she had much less reason to expectgood than evil, she made it her immediate study to prepare for theworst, and therefore carefully avoided all discourse that by nourishingher tenderness, might weaken her resolution.

  While thus, in friendly conversation and virtuous forbearance, passedgravely, but not unhappily, the time of Cecilia, the rest of the housewas very differently employed; feasting, revelling, amusements of allsorts were pursued with more eagerness than ever, and the alarm which solately threatened their destruction, seemed now merely to heightenthe avidity with which they were sought. Yet never was the disunion ofhappiness and diversion more striking and obvious; Mr Harrel, in spiteof his natural levity, was seized from time to time with fits of horrorthat embittered his gayest moments, and cast a cloud upon all hisenjoyments. Always an enemy to solitude, he now found it whollyinsupportable, and ran into company of any sort, less from a hope offinding entertainment, than from a dread of spending half an hour byhimself.

  Cecilia, who saw that his rapacity for pleasure encreased with hisuneasiness, once more ventured to speak with his lady upon the subjectof reformation; counselling her to take advantage of his presentapparent discontent, which showed at least some sensibility of hissituation, in order to point out to him the necessity of an immediateinspection into his affairs, which, with a total change in his way oflife, was her only chance for snatching him from the dismal despondencyinto which he was sinking.

  Mrs Harrel declared herself unequal to following this advice, and saidthat her whole study was to find Mr Harrel amusement, for he was grownso ill-humoured and petulant she quite feared being alone with him.

  The house therefore now was more crowded than ever, and nothing butdissipation was thought of. Among those who upon this plan were courtedto it, the foremost was Mr Morrice, who, from a peculiar talent ofuniting servility of conduct with gaiety of speech, made himself at onceso agreeable and useful in the family, that in a short time they fanciedit impossible to live without him. And Morrice, though his first view inobtaining admittance had been the cultivation of his acquaintance withCecilia, was perfectly satisfied with the turn that matters had taken,since his utmost vanity had never led him to entertain any matrimonialhopes with her, and he thought his fortune as likely to profit from thecivility of her friends as of herself. For Morrice, however flighty, andwild, had always at heart the study of his own interest; and though froma giddy forwardness of disposition he often gave offence, his meaningand his serious attention was not the less directed to the advancementof his own affairs; he formed no connection from which he hoped notsome benefit, and he considered the acquaintance and friendship of hissuperiors in no other light than that of procuring him sooner or laterrecommendations to new clients.

  Sir Robert Floyer also was more frequent than ever in his visits, andMr Harrel, notwithstanding the remonstrances of Cecilia, contrived everypossible opportunity of giving him access to her. Mrs Harrel herself,though hitherto neutral, now pleaded his cause with earnestness; and MrArnott, who had been her former refuge from this persecution, grew soserious and so tender in his devoirs, that unable any longer to doubtthe sentiments she had inspired, she was compelled even with him to beguarded and distant.

  She now with daily concern looked back to the sacrifice she had madeto the worthless and ungrateful Mr Harrel, and was sometimes tempted toimmediately chuse another guardian, and leave his house for ever;yet the delicacy of her disposition was averse to any step that mightpublicly expose him, and her early regard for his wife would not sufferher to put it in execution.

  These circumstances contributed strongly to encrease her intimacy withMiss Belfield; she now never saw Mrs Delvile, whom alone she preferredto her, and from the troublesome assiduity of Sir Robert, scarce evermet Mr Monckton but in his presence; she found, therefore,
no resourceagainst teazing and vexation, but what was afforded her by theconversation of the amiable Henrietta.