The Single Mom's Second Chance

by Kathy Douglass

  * * *

  Paul’s head was swimming and he fought against a sudden wave of dizziness. Cancer. Roz had cancer. The word echoed in his brain, then slammed repeatedly against his skull. It didn’t make sense. How could she be so sick?

  She looked fine. She’d always been slender, with small breasts, a tiny waist and slim hips, but, upon closer examination, she did appear a little thinner than she’d been at Terrence’s funeral last year. Her white top was a bit loose and she kept adjusting the strap, preventing it from slipping off her shoulder. Although her face was as beautiful as ever, the spark in her eyes had been replaced by fear and her brown skin looked dull. Her lips trembled as she tried to smile. Apparently, her mouth refused to cooperate, and after a moment, she gave up the attempt.

  “I know it will be inconvenient for you, but you’re my only hope. I’m determined to get well fast, so you shouldn’t have to stay for long. And Nathaniel is old enough to help with Megan and Suzanne.”

  It took a minute for her rapidly spoken words to register. Was she still trying to convince him? Was she that uncertain that she could rely on him? “Of course I’ll come. Whatever you need.”

  Her body sagged in relief. “Thank you.”

  “Did you think I’d say no?”

  “To be honest, I wasn’t sure. I’d hoped you’d say yes but I came prepared to be turned down.”

  Considering that he’d initially said no before knowing what she needed, there was nothing he could say in his defense. “When did you get your diagnosis?”

  “A week ago.”

  A week? And she hadn’t said anything to him? “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  Her eyes widened. “Are you kidding me? We haven’t spoken a civil word to each other in years unless there was someone else around. As you just pointed out, we’re neither family nor friends.”

  The words sounded so much crueler now. He’d been unnecessarily harsh. Shame battered him, leaving him speechless.

  “My oncologist is working on a treatment plan. He’ll have it together by Friday, with dates and schedules. I’ll check with you before I confirm anything with him, to make sure you’re available first.”

  “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be there whenever you need me to be.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Just like that.” It was true that they weren’t friends. Too much had happened for them ever to be friends again. But he wasn’t heartless. She and her kids needed him to step up and he would.

  “Thank you. I appreciate it. If there was another way, I wouldn’t inconvenience you like this.”

  “I love my nieces and nephew. I have a few things to clear up here and arrangements to make in order to work from North Carolina, so it may take me a couple of days. Will that work for you?” He was already mentally rescheduling meetings and rearranging plans for the next month or so. He’d adjust his schedule further out if necessary. And Kristin. He’d have to tell Kristin. Their schedules were so chaotic—she was a busy neurosurgeon and he was working tirelessly to build his business—that they rarely spent time together as it was. He’d prefer to have her blessing, but he was prepared to go to North Carolina without it.

  “Whenever you arrive will be good. I need some time with the kids to prepare them for the future anyway.”

  “Did you tell them yet?”

  “Not yet. We’re spending the night with your parents and flying home tomorrow afternoon. I’ll tell them tomorrow night or the next day.”

  “If you want, I can be there with you to reassure them that everything will be fine.”

  “That would be really great,” she whispered. Tears filled her eyes and he felt her sorrow. Seeing her standing there, her arms wrapped around her middle, it struck him just how alone she was. How alone she’d been since Terrence’s death.

  Unable to contain himself, he went to her, taking her trembling hand into his. He tried his best to infuse her with his strength. “We’ll get you through this. I promise.”

  “I’m trying to take everything one day at a time. Andrea and Edward are good and loving grandparents and I know they’d step in if...”

  “Don’t even think that way. You’re going to be fine. You’ll beat this. Focus all of your energy on getting well. I’ll take care of everything else.” She had to get better. Though he’d made a point of avoiding her the past dozen years, keeping out of her life, he couldn’t imagine a world without her in it.

  The unexpected thought stunned him. He might not want Roz to be sick, but there was no place for her in his world. There hadn’t been for years.

  Chapter One

  The doorbell rang and Roz’s heart skipped a beat. She’d watched from the window while Paul parked and then grabbed his luggage and briefcase from the rear of his SUV, yet she hadn’t moved until the chimes filled her small house. She inhaled deeply, then went to the door. The time for hiding had passed. Now it was time to not only face Paul but to tell her kids about her cancer, as well.

  Roz opened the door and then moved aside to let Paul step inside.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked, setting his bags on the floor. He made a move in her direction and she froze. For a minute she thought he might hug her, but he didn’t. After all these years of tension between them, an affectionate greeting would be weird. Even holding a civil conversation when they were alone felt strange.

  “I feel fine. Absolutely fine.” That was part of the reason she struggled to believe it when her gynecologist had given her the results of her Pap smear and subsequent biopsy. She hadn’t experienced any symptoms. Not only that, she’d just turned thirty. Most women diagnosed with cervical cancer were much older than she was.

  Not that the statistics changed anything. Her diagnosis had been confirmed so there was no use trying to make sense of it. She needed to accept the way things were and begin treatment. Fortunately, the cancer had been caught relatively early, which gave her a fighting chance of a full recovery.

  “Good. Where are the kids?”

  “Megan and Suzanne are helping me get dinner ready and Nathaniel is playing basketball with a friend.”

  “Do you need to pick him up?”

  “No. His friend’s dad is going to bring him home. He should be here in a few minutes.”

  “Did you tell the kids I was coming?”

  “No.” She’d started to, but then she couldn’t think of a good reason why he would visit them when he hadn’t before. Since she didn’t want to lie to them, she decided to wait and tell them everything at once.

  “Okay.”

  “Do you think I should have?”

  “It’s fine, Roz. Don’t start worrying about something like that. They’ll know in a little while.”

  She nodded. Paul was right. She needed to get a grip and stop stressing over little things or she’d scare the kids.

  She led him farther into the house. He stepped closer and the heat from his body touched her, causing some of the icy fear in her heart to melt. Given the state of their relationship, that reaction made no sense. Still, she’d take a reduction in fear any day.

  “Hi, Uncle Paul,” Megan said, racing from the adjoining dining room, her arms open wide.

  “Hi, Megan.” He scooped her up into a big hug and grinned as she placed a kiss on his cheek. Although her and Terrence’s relationship with Paul had been strained, they’d never prevented him from spending time with his nieces and nephew. As someone who’d grown up with only a great-aunt who’d resented having a kid foisted upon her, Roz wanted her children to have a bigger family and more love than she’d had. Since Paul loved them, she’d been willing to tolerate his distance. Besides, a small part of her had always hoped that, given time, they’d become friends again.

  “What are you doing here?” Suzanne asked, following her sister into the living room.

  “I came to visit you.”<
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  “But why do you have your suitcase? Are you going to sleep here?” Suzanne asked. At six years old, she didn’t miss a trick. She was attuned to every little thing that happened in the house.

  “Yes.” He set Megan on her feet and then picked up Suzanne and gave her a hug. “Is that okay with you?”

  She shrugged.

  “It’s okay with me, Uncle Paul,” Megan said agreeably.

  “Thanks, baby.”

  “I’m not a baby. I’m eight. That’s a big girl.”

  “Okay. Thanks, big girl.”

  “And you two big girls need to set the table,” Roz said. “We’ll need five of everything.”

  The girls ran into the kitchen, leaving Roz and Paul alone. Though she’d felt comforted by his presence only a minute ago, she now felt awkward. Neither of them seemed to know what to say, so they stood there in uneasy silence. She gave herself a mental shake. This was her home and he was her guest. “Your room is all set. Come on.”

  He grabbed his bags and followed her up the stairs to the guest room.

  After Terrence’s death, Roz and the kids had needed a fresh start. The accounting office where she’d worked had had a vacancy for a CPA in their satellite office in the small coastal town of Sweet Briar, so Roz had sold their house in Raleigh and they’d relocated. She’d fallen in love with this charming four-bedroom house immediately. The kids hadn’t cared about the house, but they’d been sold on the huge backyard and side yards. They’d made friends quickly and everyone had settled in nicely. Things had been going well until she’d found out she had cancer.

  “This is a nice house. Different from the one you and Terrence had.”

  That house had been huge and modern. “It has all the space we need.”

  “I’m not kicking someone out of their room, am I?”

  “No. The girls like sharing. They say it’s like having a sleepover every night.”

  He laughed. “I’m glad they’re so close.”

  He didn’t say it, but Roz knew he was thinking about his own relationship with Terrence. The brothers hadn’t been close at all. Terrence’s mother had died when he was two and his father had fallen in love with Andrea shortly after that. They’d gotten married when Terrence was four. Paul had been born a year later. Andrea had loved Terrence as if she’d given birth to him and had never referred to him as her stepson. To her, he was her son. Terrence had loved Andrea in return. For a reason known only to himself, Terrence had always resented Paul. Those negative feelings had increased once Terrence and Roz had married. Only now, Paul returned the feelings. Roz had no proof, but she believed her past relationship with Paul had always bothered Terrence. None of it mattered now. Terrence was dead and Paul hated her.

  “I’ll get out of your way. Dinner will be on the table in about fifteen minutes.”

  “Okay. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

  She left the room and was descending the stairs when the front door flew open and Nathaniel, her eleven-year-old son, stepped inside. He smiled broadly when he saw her. “Hi, Mom. Is dinner ready? I’m starving.”

  She gave him a quick hug. “Yep. We were just waiting for you.”

  Paul entered the room then. When Nathaniel saw him, his face lit up. “Hi, Uncle Paul. What are you doing here?”

  “I came to visit my favorite nieces and nephew.”

  Nathaniel grinned. “We’re your only nieces and nephew.”

  “True. But you’re still my favorites.”

  “So I guess that makes Mom your favorite sister-in-law.”

  Nathaniel might not have noticed the second that passed before Paul replied, but Roz did. Although it was ridiculous, his hesitation pricked her heart. “Of course.”

  “Wash your hands, son.”

  “Okay, Mom.”

  Roz watched as Nathaniel ran into the first-floor powder room, leaving her alone with Paul. She didn’t want to talk about anything personal, such as her being his supposed favorite sister-in-law. She didn’t want to talk at all, but some things couldn’t be put off. “I guess we should tell them after dinner.”

  “That sounds good to me.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with compassion. “We’ll get through this, Roz. One day at a time.”

  There was nothing to say to that, so Roz only nodded.

  Dinner was not nearly as uncomfortable as Roz had expected it to be. The children were eager to catch Paul up on their lives and share their plans for the summer. After they’d eaten their dessert and put their dishes into the dishwasher, Roz hustled everyone into the living room.

  Nathaniel sprawled on the floor in front of the television and the girls sat on the floor beside the coffee table, their closed coloring books in front of them. Paul sat beside Roz on the sofa, as if trying to infuse her with his strength. She appreciated the effort, but given the strain in their relationship, it was impossible. Though she was grateful for his willingness to put his life on hold to help her, they’d spent too many years at odds for there to be a psychic connection between them. Their relationship was rocky, to say the least, and their connection spotty at best. The years of being polite when necessary and ignoring each other when possible had taken their toll on their former closeness. Yet there was a part of her that yearned to lean on him. A part of her did find solace in his presence and drew strength from his nearness. Her mixed emotions reflected her relationship with Paul—it was a tangled mess.

  “I want to talk to you all,” Roz said.

  “About what?” Suzanne asked.

  “Is it somebody’s birthday?” Megan asked hopefully. “I love cake and ice cream.”

  “I promise to clean my room tomorrow,” Nathaniel joked.

  “It’s about me,” Roz said. “I’m a little bit sick and I’m going to be having surgery. Uncle Paul is going to be staying with us until I’m better.”

  “What’s wrong?” Nathaniel asked.

  Roz had hoped to avoid saying the word cancer, but she knew now that it was impossible. Nathaniel was astute enough to notice if she avoided answering the question and would more than likely imagine the worst. If she just came out and said the word, acted like it was no big deal, maybe the kids wouldn’t be as scared as if she tried to finesse it. So, rather than beat around the bush, she came out with it. “I have cancer. I know that’s a scary word, but the doctors are going to work very hard to make me better. And I’m going to do everything they tell me to do. Some of the medicine might give me a stomachache, so don’t be scared if you see me getting sick.”

  “Are you going to die?” Nathaniel’s voice trembled, and Megan and Suzanne scooted close to each other and clasped hands. Her children’s fear was heartbreaking in a way that nothing else could ever be. Having lost her own parents as a child, Roz understood the panic that lurked beneath her son’s words. He’d already lost his father, a fireman, in a horrible fire that had taken three other lives. Losing her would cause more pain than any of her children should have to endure.

  “I’m going to do my best to get well. People used to die from cancer, but the doctors have better medicine now.”

  “Medicine that is going to make you well.” Megan’s words were a declaration, but Roz knew her daughter was looking for confirmation that her world wouldn’t be blown to smithereens. They all were.

  “Yes.” Roz hoped she was being honest. After all, the doctors had told her that they’d caught her cancer relatively early. It was localized and hadn’t moved to her lymph nodes. They were optimistic, and she was doing her best to be so, too. Even if she was scared out of her mind, she wouldn’t show her fear to her kids. They needed her to be strong. More than that, they needed to believe she was going to be fine. Most of all, they needed her. “The medicine is going to help me get well.”

  “But it’s going to take time,” Paul interjected. “And sometimes it might look like your mom is getting worse, b
ut she won’t be. She’ll be getting better on the inside even if it doesn’t look like that on the outside.”

  “And you’re going to help Mommy?” Suzanne asked.

  Paul covered Roz’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Yes. Every day.”

  His words were a vow that Roz knew she could count on.

  “And you aren’t going to leave us?” Suzanne’s voice quivered and Roz’s heart crumpled as she fought back tears. This disease wasn’t satisfied with attacking her body. Now it was trying to ravage her kids’ hearts.

  “No,” Paul said firmly. He looked at each child. “I’m not going to leave you.”

  “Okay,” Suzanne whispered.

  Roz had been prepared for more questions, but her kids were silent. Rather than prod them to talk, she let them sit with the information, giving them time to process what they’d just learned in their own ways. Nathaniel turned on the television and the girls grabbed crayons and began flipping through their coloring books. Roz knew they hadn’t been completely assured by the answers she and Paul had given them. They were overwhelmed and using the familiar to cope in a suddenly uncertain world.

  Needing to do something, Roz went into the kitchen. The dishwasher was on the rinse cycle and the counters and tables had been wiped. The floor was clean, but she grabbed the broom anyway and began sweeping.

  “I think they took it pretty well,” Paul said as he came into the room.

  Roz looked at him. She wasn’t sure if he actually believed what he was saying or if he was humoring her. “I guess.”