The Single Mom's Second Chance

by Kathy Douglass

  Paul followed the nurse through a glass door and down an antiseptic-smelling corridor to the waiting area. He contemplated taking a chair before deciding he had too much nervous energy to sit still and didn’t relish the thought of bouncing up and down in front of an audience.

  “Martin family.”

  Paul crossed the room in two long strides. “That’s me. How is Roz?”

  The surgeon pulled a cap off his head, revealing curly salt-and-pepper hair. “The surgery went well. I’m confident that we got all of the cancer.”

  “What is her prognosis? Is she healed?”

  The doctor sighed and wiped a hand down his face. “It’s difficult to answer that. People with cervical cancer are living longer than they were only five years ago. But I never use the word healed.” The surgeon blew out another breath and seemed to weigh his next words carefully, clearly unaware that with each passing second Paul was inching closer to the edge of insanity. “That said, I’m cautiously optimistic in this case. Ms. Martin is young and in otherwise good health.”

  Paul frowned. That was no help. He needed something definite. Something conclusive. He needed the doctor to say that Roz was cured and the cancer would never come back. He needed the doctor to promise that Roz would live a long life.

  “That’s the best answer I can give you. Trust me, this is good news.” The doctor clapped his hand on Paul’s shoulder and gave what Paul supposed was meant to be a reassuring squeeze before walking away.

  Paul exhaled in an effort to blow away his tension. Though Roz was probably groggy, she might be able to sense his feelings. It wouldn’t be good for her to know he was worried.

  Several minutes dragged by before the nurse returned and led him to the recovery room. He glanced inside and his heart dropped. Roz looked so frail. She’d always been petite, but now she was positively fragile. And she was sound asleep.

  “It’ll probably be an hour or so before the anesthesia wears off. If you want to get something to eat, we can call you when she wakes up.”

  Paul nodded. Instead of going to the cafeteria, he returned to the waiting room. He called Charlotte to let her know the surgery went well, then spoke with each of the kids.

  An hour and a half later, he was informed that Roz had awakened and he was escorted back to her bedside. Her eyelids fluttered, then opened. She stared at him and lifted a hand a few inches before dropping it back onto the bed. “Hi.”

  He sat by her side and took her hand into his, careful not to squeeze it. Despite his worry, he felt a charge at the contact. He pushed the reaction aside. Hadn’t he made up his mind that she was wrong for him? Not only that, she was recovering from major surgery. “How are you feeling?”

  “Tired.” Her voice was so soft he had to lean in to hear. “And a little achy.”

  Roz had never been one to complain, so for all he knew, she could be in excruciating pain.

  “Rest.” He released her hand, placing it beneath the thin blanket covering her. “Sleep is what you need now.”

  “Have you talked to the kids?”

  “Yes. They’re fine.”

  “Okay.” She sighed then closed her eyes. A minute later, she was breathing steadily. Paul sat in the chair beside the bed and watched as she slept, counting her breaths as if to reassure himself that she was still alive. Finally satisfied that all was well, he rose and left, refusing to allow himself one last look at her. His concern was morphing into something more. Something like love. Something he needed to fight before it overwhelmed his common sense and took over his life.

  * * *

  “I really can walk,” Roz said to the young patient transporter. It seemed as if she’d spent the past few months lying down or sitting in her recliner, too weak to move while others cared for her kids. Now she looked forward to doing things for herself, such as walk out of this hospital.

  Her operation had gone well, and, fortunately, she hadn’t had any complications during her recovery. The day of the surgery had provided several shocks to her system. She’d walked into the hospital that morning but had been unable to scoot from the gurney to her bed mere hours later. Sitting up had been painful and she’d been weak and found walking exhausting. Still, she’d pressed on and now, four days after her arrival, she was able to return home to her family.

  “I know you can. But the wheelchair is protocol. Besides, it’s much faster. You’ll be with your family sooner if you take the ride.”

  “Those are the magic words,” Roz said, settling into the seat and putting her bag on her lap. She hadn’t seen her kids in what felt like forever and her arms ached to hold them. Ever since she’d been diagnosed with cancer, she’d harbored a fear that she wouldn’t get to seen them grow up. That they would be orphaned as she’d been. Now that she’d survived chemo and surgery, that worry had diminished. She knew she had a long road to travel, but she was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  Paul was waiting for her at the hospital entrance. He’d been by her side earlier as the nurse explained the post-op instructions. He’d even asked a few questions, then had gone to get the car so she wouldn’t have to walk through the parking lot.

  Spotting her, Paul quickly emerged from the SUV. Ever courteous, he helped her from the wheelchair and into the passenger seat. They reached for her seat belt at the same time and their hands brushed. Electricity shot through her, and her breath caught in her throat. Paul had visited her throughout her hospital stay. His presence had been comforting. More comforting than she would ever admit. She’d looked forward to seeing him. Each day, their conversations had come more easily and they’d laughed together often. After years of animosity, they were finally becoming friends.

  After fastening her seat belt, she blew out a breath, hoping to rid herself of this crazy attraction. At the rate it was growing, she’d be head over heels before long.

  “How do you feel?” Paul asked.

  “I don’t foresee a marathon in my future, but I feel better than I’d expected.”

  “That’s good to hear.”

  He smiled and her heart lurched. Now more than ever, she needed to get a handle on her attraction. Paul wasn’t interested in giving them a second chance. Not only that, he would be leaving soon. If she fell in love with him again, it wouldn’t end well for her. This time, if her heart got broken, she’d have no one to blame but herself.

  Roz tuned the radio to a station playing smooth jazz and closed her eyes, letting the sounds float over her body. She didn’t intend to fall asleep, but there was no harm in relaxing.

  The car lurched and Roz jerked awake. She pried her eyes open and looked around. Trees swayed in the breeze and baskets overflowing with orange and gold fall flowers lined the sidewalk. They were on Main Street in Sweet Briar. She’d slept most of the two-hour drive from Charlotte.

  “Ah, good, you’re awake. The kids might worry if they saw you sleeping so deeply.” Roz nodded. She’d overheard Suzanne ask if her mommy slept so much because she was going to die. Paul had done his best to reassure her, but Roz knew her daughter still worried. Suzanne often shook Roz awake when she’d slept too long for the little girl’s comfort.

  “Of course, I could tell them that you’ve always fallen asleep in the car,” Paul continued with a mischievous grin, “but they probably wouldn’t believe me.”

  “Only when I’m not driving,” she corrected with a grin of her own. “The soothing motion of a moving car just knocks me out.”

  “And makes you drool.”

  “Drool?” She swiped her hand across her mouth.

  He laughed and her insides quivered. He stopped at a stop sign and grinned again. “And snore. Loudly.”

  “Now I know you’re lying. I have never snored in my life.”

  “Trust me, you were calling the hogs a few minutes ago.” He glanced in the rearview mirror. “Just checking to be sure none are fo
llowing us.”

  “Ha ha.” She poked him in the shoulder. It had been years since they’d had this much fun together. She was almost sorry for the ride to come to an end.

  Paul pulled onto the street and parked in front of Roz’s house. A huge banner reading Welcome Home Mommy hung across the front porch. The letters were lopsided and each word was a different size. Colorful flowers dotted with glitter created a border around the edge of the banner. Rainbow ribbons tied around the porch rails fluttered in the breeze. Her heart filled with unspeakable joy. She turned to Paul, who was looking at her. “Did you know about this?”

  He patted her hand. “Of course. They missed you. Working on this helped keep them occupied. Sit still. I’ll help you out.”

  The front door opened and her children raced down the stairs and to the SUV. Charlotte followed at a more sedate pace. Roz didn’t know how she’d ever repay her friend for all she’d done for her and her family.

  Paul nudged the kids back so he could open her door. Riding in Paul’s top-of-the-line Mercedes was heavenly, but she was starting to ache from the long ride. She brushed the discomfort aside, thrilled to see her family again.

  The kids stood like statues, staring at her. What was wrong?

  “Uncle Paul and Charlotte said we have to be careful not to hurt you,” Nathaniel explained. “Will it hurt if we hug you?”

  Roz shook her head and held out her arms. If there was pain, it would be more than worth it. She couldn’t bear not holding her children for one more second.

  “Carefully,” Paul stated firmly, blocking them with his arm as if expecting them to stampede. “One at a time.”

  Nathaniel was closest, so she pulled her son into a strong embrace and kissed his cheek. Despite Paul’s admonition, Megan charged next, trampling Roz’s foot as she wrapped her chubby arms around her waist, squeezing for all she was worth. Roz must have made a sound, because Paul was immediately there, gently disengaging her daughter’s arms.

  “Let’s let Suzanne say hello, too.” He gestured to her youngest daughter, who stood a ways away. Though she had rushed down with the others, she stood frozen, staring at Roz. Then her lower lip began to tremble and she burst into tears. Roz’s heart broke as she hurried to her youngest child, pulling her into her embrace. “It’s all right. I’m here.”

  “I missed you, Mommy. You were gone a long time.”

  “I missed you, too. All of you.” Roz included her other children in her gaze.

  “I was scared you were never coming back.”

  “Oh, baby. I told you that I would.”

  Suzanne just nodded and leaned her head against Roz’s side.

  After a moment, Paul stepped up. “Let’s get everyone inside.”

  “Okay,” Charlotte said, taking Suzanne’s hand and leading the way into the house. Megan and Nathaniel followed. “Come on, guys. Let’s get your presents.”

  “Are you okay?” Paul asked, wrapping his arms around her in a gentle embrace.

  She nodded, then pressed her face against the solid wall of his chest.

  Being in his arms brought back memories she hadn’t dared let out of their hidden place in her heart. They’d broken free, bombarding her as they raced through her mind, stirring up her emotions, and it took every effort she had to restrain them and box them up again. She lifted her head and her eyes collided with his. Dark brown and fringed with thick black lashes, his eyes were filled with compassion. She wished she saw love there as well but knew she never would. Their time had come and gone.

  Gathering herself, she took a deep breath, then leaned on him as they walked into the house, where her children awaited her. Her past may be over, but her present was still good. And for the first time since her diagnosis, she had hope that the future would be even better.

  Chapter Ten

  Paul watched as Roz gushed over the gifts he’d helped the children make. He’d wanted to buy presents, but the kids didn’t have much money between them. Although they received a weekly allowance for doing their chores, the girls were flat broke. He’d learned that they spent their money as soon as they got it, and not a minute later. He smiled as he recalled how Megan had turned her pants pockets inside out and Suzanne had shaken her empty piggy bank to emphasize the point. Nathaniel had most of his money, but he was saving it to buy a video game and was unwilling to part with it. Paul had offered to advance the money, but the kids rejected that idea right out of hand. If you pay for it, they’ll be your gifts, Nathaniel had reasoned.

  So they’d had to get creative. None of the kids had seen this as a problem. It’s okay, Megan had insisted, Mommy likes it when we make her stuff. She says it’s her favorite kind of present.

  He knew that. The girls brought home masterpieces from the youth center on a regular basis and Roz had loved every one. But then Carmen Knight, the volunteer art teacher, was a famous artist. Naturally, they would create wonderful projects with her guidance. But she hadn’t been at the youth center this week so the job of helping them fell to him.

  Unfortunately, he wasn’t the least bit artistic. As a businessman, he didn’t need to be. Luckily, the kids had ideas of their own.

  Nathaniel had thought of the banner. Paul had purchased the material, convincing the kids that he didn’t have skills but wanted to contribute to the gift. Nathaniel had sketched the words in pencil and then all three kids had painted them. The girls added flowers, stickers and streamers. He’d tried to draw the line at glitter, but Suzanne’s eyes had welled with tears and Megan had glared at him for making her sister cry. In the end, they’d used glitter.

  He’d had the foresight to have them work in the backyard, so he didn’t have to clean clumps of glue and glitter off furniture. Naturally, the girls had gotten glitter into their hair. Although he’d become adept at braids and twists, he knew better than to try to shampoo it out. He’d taken them to Fit To Be Dyed hair salon and let a professional handle the task. The girls loved the special treatment and he’d been awarded hero status.

  “This is beautiful,” Roz exclaimed, pulling his attention back to her. She was holding a framed picture of wildflowers Megan had found in a coloring book. Determined to stay within the lines, she’d taken nearly an hour to complete it. She’d scrawled her first and last names in a jumble of uppercase and lowercase letters across the back, using a different color crayon for each letter. She’d been disappointed when he told her that her name wouldn’t be visible once the picture was matted and framed, but she’d been thrilled with the final result. Roz gave her oldest daughter a gentle squeeze and kissed the top of her head. “Thanks, sweetie.”

  “Open Suzanne’s next,” Megan urged.

  Roz flashed her youngest child a smile and patted the place next to her. “I can’t wait to see what it is.”

  Suzanne sat down and leaned her head against Roz’s side. “It’s not as pretty as Megan’s.”

  “Sure it is,” Megan said staunchly, ever the loyal big sister. “It’s beautiful.”

  Smiling, Suzanne leaned her head against Roz’s breast and hugged her around her neck. Roz winced and Paul practically felt her pain. It took everything he had not to unwrap Suzanne’s arms and move her a safe distance away from Roz. He knew neither mother nor daughter would appreciate his interference. He did go and stand nearer to them. Roz lifted an eyebrow but otherwise didn’t acknowledge his closer presence. She tore away the wrapping paper, then pulled out a framed picture. Suzanne hadn’t been happy with the pictures in the coloring books, so she’d drawn her own. He hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of the blurred ovals and triangles with lines sticking out the sides and bottom, but he’d known better than to say that. “I love it,” Roz exclaimed.

  “You do?” Suzanne asked, lifting her head and looking at Roz, her expression a combination of doubt and amazement.

  “Absolutely. Tell me why you decided to draw this.”

&n
bsp; “Because I like Shadow, the dog from the ranch, and I wish we had a dog.” She pointed to the little black blur in a sea of green that could be a dog if you looked at it from the right angle. “This is me and Megan playing with him.” She then pointed to the biggest shape. “I didn’t want to ride the horse, but I still thought it was pretty. This is Nathaniel riding the horse. He wasn’t scared.”

  “I love this picture. Every time I look at it, I’ll think about the happy day you had at the Double J Ranch. And that will make me happy. Thank you, baby.”

  Nathaniel approached, his gift in hand. “I didn’t draw a picture.”

  “That’s okay.” Roz took the gift. She unwrapped it and then smiled at her son.

  “It’s a poem,” Nathaniel said.

  “I see.”

  “Read it, Mommy,” Suzanne said, snuggling closer.

  “Okay. It’s entitled ‘My Mom.’” Then she recited:

  “You are the best mom in the world. That is true,

  I don’t know what we would do without you.

  You love us even when we are bad,

  You are the best mom anyone ever had.

  You are pretty, nice and fun,

  I would not trade you for anyone.

  I love you, Mom, you know that’s true,

  There is no one as good as you.”

  Roz’s voice trembled as she read the last words and Paul had to swallow the lump in his throat. Damn. His feelings were getting out of control. If he wasn’t careful, he’d fall under her spell again. He knew he needed to keep her at a distance, but the more he was around her, the harder that became.

  “It’s wonderful,” she said, then kissed Nathaniel’s cheek. “All of my gifts are wonderful. Thank you all.”

  “You’re welcome, Mommy,” the girls chimed in unison.

  Paul could tell that Roz was beginning to fade. Her smile seemed forced and she shifted in her seat as if in pain. It was time to step in. “Okay, guys, your mom is tired. She needs a nap.”