Breaking Free

by Teresa J. Reasor

Just as Zoe lowered the lid on the washer, a knock sounded on the apartment door. She glanced at her watch. It had to be Bowie. He stopped by every day to check on her when he returned home from the base. She adjusted the crutches under her arms and made her way down the hall to the front door.

  Had she not already lost her heart to Hawk, she would have certainly lost it to Bowie. She’d been unable to stay perturbed with him for long. His support had eased some of her anxiety. She felt safer with him next door.

  A greeting hovered on her lips as she opened the door. It died as Flash’s lean form and smiling face came into view.

  “Hey,” he said. Dressed in a desert camouflage print with his bonnet under his arm, he looked pure SEAL, until he smiled.

  “Hello.”

  “I came by to see Bowie and thought I’d stop by and see how you were doing.” He eyed the crutches with a frown. “Bowie told us what happened. How are you doing?”

  “I’m all right.”

  At his expectant look past her into the apartment, Zoe eyed him for a moment. Was he the one who had attacked her? Had he slapped her brother? She’d never know if she didn’t talk to him. Her breathing quickened and her throat felt tight as though something were pushing against the base of it holding back both her breath and the blood. Without the crutches her legs would have wobbled like rubber. She forced herself to move back. “Would you like to come in?”

  “Sure.” Flash stepped into the apartment and waited for her to lead the way into the living room.

  “How long are you going to be on those?” he asked.

  “About two weeks.” She set aside the crutches, leaned them against the table next to her within easy reach, and lowered herself into a chair. Her mouth was dry as she continued, her breathing still labored. She had to calm down. “The bone wasn’t broken. I have a titanium rod imbedded in it so I’m part bionic woman. But the muscle was bruised, and since I don’t have the whole thing, I have to rest it until it’s healed.”

  Flash sat down on the couch, his expression grave. He shaped the bill of his hat with his hands in a gesture of nervous energy. “I heard Cutter was going to be released.”

  “Yes, on Wednesday.”

  His smile held a charm she was afraid to believe in.

  “That’s great.” He leaned forward to toss the hat on the coffee table and rested his elbows on his knees. “You haven’t had a very good experience here in California. With Cutter being in the hospital the whole time and--everything else.”

  So he knew about Hawk breaking it off. “I won’t hold it against the state. I’ll come back again when I can visit just for fun.”

  “Does that mean you’ll be leaving soon?”

  “As soon as Brett can drive again, and I’m sure he’s on the road to recovery. So, it will be another couple of months at least.”

  “You’ve been great about putting your life on hold to come out here and support him.”

  “Isn’t that what families do?”

  “Not always. My own--” Flash gave a shrug, and his Boston accent thickened. “That’s another story I’ll share with you some other time.” He slid to the edge of the couch and leaned forward. “You haven’t had much time to enjoy anything but the beach that one time and a few barbeques. I came by with an invite. There’s been some rumblings that we may be shipping out again.”

  A dropping sensation hit Zoe’s stomach and she placed a hand against her midriff. Had Hawk known this when he pushed her away?

  “I thought you were on a six month rotation then had eighteen months off to train.”

  “In a perfect world, that’s the way things would go. But we’re not living in a perfect world right now. We won’t know until the orders come down twenty-four hours before.” He cleared his throat. “While Cutter’s surrounded by medical personnel, he’ll be taken care of. I wanted to invite you to go to Vegas for a day before he’s released. We could fly up or drive either one. Flying might be more comfortable for you.”

  Zoe tried to shake free of the shocking news of their going wheels up and his invitation. “What if they page you to report for duty?”

  “My gear’s already packed and I know a guy in Vegas who can fly us back. It’ll be my last opportunity to go and yours too, unless Cutter feels up to it later.” He shifted. His blue eyes held an earnest expression. “Look, I know you had--have a thing for Hawk. So, it wouldn’t be a romantic thing. I know you’re not ready for that so soon after--” He cleared his throat. “I just thought it might give you a change of scenery for a day. And everyone needs to go to Vegas at least one time in their lives. There’s no other place on earth like it.”

  “So, I’ve heard.” Why was he doing this? Was it pity? She studied his even features and sun-streaked hair and felt no tug of attraction. Even the affection she held for Bowie wasn’t sexual attraction, but just--a liking.

  Flash had remained a stranger to her. For all his flirting, and teasing, he kept himself distant. Was it true he had a gambling problem? And would she just be a cover for that, if she went? And why was he inviting her to begin with? A guilty conscience? It would be impossible for her to relax with him. They hadn’t had time to cultivate feelings of trust between them. And as long as there was a shadow of suspicion in her mind concerning him, there couldn’t be.

  “I don’t think I can go, Flash. I appreciate your trying to take my mind off of things. It’s a generous offer. But I’m still anxious about Brett and don’t want to get too far away from the hospital--just in case.”

  After a brief pause, he nodded. “I understand.” He rose to his feet.

  Sudden anxiety sliced through her with his six-foot frame towering above her, and Zoe rose from her seat to position the crutches beneath her arms. When all he did was stride down the hall to the door, she breathed a sigh of relief.

  He turned to look at her as they reached the door. “Maybe, Hawk will come around. I wouldn’t give up just yet.”

  Trish had spent an hour telling her the same thing, the night she’d spent with them. Langley hadn’t stated an opinion one way or another. Had he held any hope Hawk would change his mind about them, surely he’d have said so.

  “The thing with his mother a few years back, really tore him up. I’m sure he’s carrying around a lot of guilt because of that and with your--” His voice drifted off.

  What was he talking about? Was there some reason behind Hawk’s pulling back? If there was, she at least deserved to know about it.

  “With my leg?” Zoe encouraged.

  “Yeah. He’d be worried the same thing might happen while he was gone.”

  “He told me his mother died of breast cancer.”

  “Yeah. It was before my time, before I became a member of the team. He was in--the real world--and no one could reach him when she went into the hospital.” Flashes pale brows drew together in a frown. “He didn’t tell you about this?”

  “No.”

  “I shouldn’t have said anything then. I just assumed he’d--”

  Zoe caught his arm as he reached for the doorknob. For a moment she struggled to maintain her composure. If there was a chance they could work through what had caused Hawk to draw back, she had to know. “Will you tell me what happened?”

  He studied her expression for a moment. His gaze dropped to the leg she held suspended. “He was out of reach and she died alone at the hospital. When he came in from the mission they told him. From what I heard, she was the only close family he had. They gave him hardship leave. Veronica--”He glanced up.

  “She’s the woman Hawk was going to move in with before his last rotation.“ Zoe guessed.

  “Yeah. She accused him of using his guilt over his mother to get out of their relationship.” He shifted as though uncomfortable. “I wouldn’t have known any of this, but I saw them fighting in the parking lot before we were shipped out and it was pretty intense, so I asked around.” He shrugged. “This time, I really thought he was hooked. I still do.”

  “Thanks, Flash.” H
er throat, clogged with emotion, strangled her voice to a whisper. “Thanks for telling me.”

  “Guess, that knocks me out of the running completely doesn’t it,” he said with a lopsided grin.

  Zoe dragged a smile to her lips. “No one else even had a chance from the first moment we met.”

  “Ouch!“ Flash grabbed his chest. “Don’t let me down easy, now.”

  Zoe smiled with a little less effort. “I thought you’d appreciate my honesty.”

  “I do.” The teasing light in his eyes died, and his expression grew serious. “I’m really sorry things haven’t panned out better.”

  He opened the door and stepped out into the hall. “I’m sorry about the leg too, Zoe.”

  She searched his expression. Was there a deeper meaning behind the apology than just sympathy? “It’ll be fine.”

  “If you change your mind about the trip, I won’t be leaving until tomorrow and there’s always a seat available. They want to pack those tables in the casinos.”

  “Thanks.”

  She watched him stride down the hall, his heavy boots loud in the hallway. Could he really be that good an actor? Yeah, he could, the Navy had trained him to be.